The Tome of Bill Series: Books 5-8 (Goddamned Freaky Monsters, Half A Prayer, The Wicked Dead, The Last Coven)

by Rick Gualtieri

  “Stop it!”

  “Jesus Christ, Sheila. What are you doing?”

  Despite the crowd being on my side, it didn’t look like any backup would come. Magic couldn’t penetrate her aura, and Sally would be burnt to a crisp as surely as I was...

  Wait, I actually wasn’t on fire. Sure, I was getting pretty singed, but I should have been a four-alarm blaze by now. Was her power slipping?

  Another hit to my face knocked that revelation out of my immediate concern. Instead, my fangs descended. There came another blow and I was pretty sure my eyes blackened, too. Rage started to suffuse my being with every hit I took.

  This bitch! She’d attacked me. Betrayed us all ... betrayed me. And then what? Once she was finished with me, was her plan to turn on the rest – on Sally, Christy, on Christy’s unborn baby?

  I spat blood, but that was fine. It matched everything else in the room as a red haze began to descend over my vision.

  I had no way of knowing if Sheila had been enslaved by Calibra or if she was acting of her own free will for whatever reason, but with a slight shudder of horror, I realized perhaps I didn’t care.

  All the anger and frustration I’d felt building in me the last couple of days was coming to a head. I couldn’t help myself, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

  Another blow struck me and a faint echo of laughter sounded somewhere. It took me only a moment to realize it was coming from inside my head. The thing was, I understood why and actually wanted to join it.

  Sheila raised her fist again.

  But first, there was someone who needed to be taught the last lesson of her life.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Sheila’s punch struck me, but I brushed it off. She was weak. Icons; so much ado about nothing after all. Now it was my turn.

  I reached up and grabbed her by her arms. The two-inch talons that had replaced my fingernails dug into her flesh like a hot knife into butter.

  Her eyes opened wide in surprise and pain, and a moment later, her screams followed.

  “Enough!” a voice commanded.

  Before I could rip Sheila’s arms off and bathe in her blood, Gan appeared above us. Somehow, she’d escaped her magical prison cell. In the back of my mind, I considered that should probably have been a concern for me, but it seemed insignificant, as did she in the moment.

  Gan grabbed Sheila by the collar of her shirt and flung her off me, robbing me of my prize. Sheila’s aura flared up in response and caught both of us in its lethal light, but I barely felt it. My own power was already busy repairing any damage the white fire caused.

  I leapt nimbly to my feet, preparing to close the distance between us and finish this once and for...

  “I said, enough!” Gan spun and lashed out at me with a spinning kick. As luck would have it, her size put her at the perfect height for her foot to smash mercilessly into my balls, instantly taking the fight out of me.

  Down I went to my knees, just barely able to wheeze out a pained “Fuuuuuck!”

  “Goddamn it!” Sally cried. “I didn’t get my camera out in time. Any chance of you doing that again?”

  What?!

  I glanced up, tears streaming down my face, and looked around. The room was in disarray. Gan stood in front of me, her green eyes defiant and the rest of her mostly unharmed despite being bathed in the same faith aura I had been. Christy and two of her sisters were on their feet, a mix of anger and panic in their eyes. Kelly was kneeling down where Sheila had landed.

  The only one who seemed out of place, mainly because she was still seated in hers, was Sally. She was putting an iPhone back into her pocket and looked to be on the verge of laughter.

  The fuck?

  “My apologies,” Gan said, drawing my attention back to her. “Though you appeared quite intent on your course of action, I am forced to disagree with your assessment that the time for your final battle is now.”

  I realized the anger had drained out of me, pretty much in the same instant my manhood had been reduced to oatmeal. Clarity of thought rushed in to fill the void the rage had left behind. Staggering to my feet, I clapped Gan once on the shoulder, then stepped past her to where Sheila was just now sitting up, blood flowing freely from ten ugly puncture wounds on her arms.

  Almost simultaneously, we shouted at each other, “What the hell were you thinking?!”

  “Jinx,” Sally called out. “You both owe me a drink.”

  I glanced back and forth between them, half-tempted to throw a chair at Sally for her infuriating smirk, but not sure which of them deserved it more.

  “You almost tore my arms off,” Sheila said. “What is wrong with you?”

  “Yeah, way to go, asshole,” Kelly spat.

  “What is wrong with me? You’re the one who went batshit psycho.”

  “Like I said I was going to.”

  “What? Have you lost your mind? No you didn’t.”

  “Yeah,” Sally said. “Actually, she did. I heard her loud and clear. It pays to have an attention span.”

  “And then I mouthed for you to play along, just in case you didn’t hear me the first time,” Sheila added.

  That gave me pause and I remembered what I’d written off as a wordless snarl. “Um, I’m not really good at reading lips.”

  “No shit,” she snapped before turning to Kelly. “I’m okay. Let me take care of this.” With that, she basically hugged herself and began to glow, the white aura washing over her and closing the wounds I’d made.

  The white light, however, quickly became washed out as another glow began to suffuse the room – a red one. It was coming from Christy. “That is quite enough from all of you. The only thing I want to see moving from anyone in this room are their lips. Is that clear?”

  Tom’s exclamation of “Yeah, kick everyone’s ass! Just like River Tam!” diluted her threat ever so slightly.

  “Not now,” she hissed.

  “It’s okay. I’m calm now.” I raised my hands in a placating manner. “We’re all calm, right?”

  Nods came from around the room, except from Gan, who merely crossed her arms indifferently.

  Christy pointed at Sheila. “Start explaining.”

  “Ib,” Sheila said. “And no, I’m not a thrall of hers in case anyone hasn’t figured that out yet, but we didn’t know if she was or not.” She indicated Gan, who inclined her head slightly.

  Christy didn’t look convinced. “I’m pretty sure we already crossed that bridge.”

  “Yes, we did, but we left out one very important detail.”

  “And what detail was that?”

  “Simple,” Sheila said, rising to her feet slowly. “You all forgot about love.”

  Twat-Waffles

  I lamely covered up my gasp of surprise as a cough. Did she just say...?

  “Not following,” Meg replied.

  “She gets it.” Sheila hooked a thumb at Sally, who nodded wordlessly.

  Glad to see they had their female telepathy worked out. Maybe we were in luck and their periods had synced up from living together, too. As for the rest of us, I crossed my arms and waited.

  “All of this talk of compulsions and breaking them with strong emotions. You all immediately went to the negatives – hatred and pain. The thing is, that doesn’t work with everyone.”

  Sally’s jaw tightened in response.

  “What we all forgot,” Sheila continued,” and believe me, it’s really easy to forget these days, is love.”

  “The strongest emotion of them all,” Veronica said, a wistful look on her face that told me she probably had a bookshelf full of romance novels.

  “Exactly,” Sheila replied. “I won’t pretend to know Gansetseg very well, but it’s pretty darn obvious she has strong feelings for a certain someone in this room.”

  “She is talking about you, beloved,” Gan said, stepping to my side. Her longing smile was more than enough to make my skin crawl.

  “Yeah
, kinda guessed that.” I took a long step away, probably risking a fireball from Christy, but it was worth it. That’s when realization struck me. I turned toward Sheila. “So if she thought I was in actual danger...”

  “That might snap her out of it,” she finished.

  “Even if it didn’t,” Sally added, a bitter undertone in her voice, “there might have been a partial reaction, a convulsion or something to tell us that there was a compulsion in place.”

  That seemed to mollify Christy, at least enough for her death glow to fade away. A sheen of sweat remained on her face, however, indicating the strain. Pregnant, stressed, and now constantly working on something in our basement, this chick was on her way to a breakdown if she didn’t remember to take five once in a while.

  “Since I was kinda occupied,” I asked, “how did that play out?”

  “Nothing compulsion-related that I could see,” Sally replied. “She broke out and then broke up your fight. So either she’s clean, she didn’t buy it, or she isn’t into you as much as she claims.”

  That caught Gan’s attention and her eyes flashed ... err, yellow, actually. Hmm, that was new. Still, she had the emotional stability of a stepped-on rattlesnake, so I quickly moved in front of her. “She was just testing you again, right?” I glanced over my shoulder at Sally, who just shrugged. “Yeah, a test. And, look, you passed. So let’s get back to what we were discussing. How’s that sound?”

  “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I could use some coffee while we talk,” Kelly said.

  “Works for me. A bite to eat wouldn’t hurt either,” Meg replied. “Right, Christy?”

  Meg’s eyes locked with mine for a split second and in them I saw a clear hint of worry. I didn’t doubt she sensed the same strain in Christy that I had.

  “Yeah,” I quickly added. “We can finish the rest of this over some breakfast.”

  “If that is what you wish, then I agree, my love,” Gan said. “Perhaps you can make some of those twat waffles you told me about. I would so love to try them.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  After the chuckling had finally subsided and copious apologies were shared around the room, Sheila and Meg worked on whipping up some food for us in my kitchen nook. It was quite awesome of them since I was tits on a bull when it came to doing anything more complex than boiling water. Between me and my roommates, it was a near wonder we hadn’t starved to death.

  Christy volunteered to help, but the other two witches steered her toward a chair. She put up a minor protest, but once seated, it looked like her body had decided she was in for the long haul.

  Finally, we were all set, plates in hand. It was syrup for most of our group, but blood for the three undead among us, albeit I had no idea whether Gan needed it to survive anymore. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop her from pouring a generous helping over her food and chowing down.

  “How’s it taste?” I asked.

  “These twat waffles are different from what I am used to, but I find them quite adequate.”

  “I meant the bl ... oh, never mind.” The quiet snickers from around the room told me that if we had any chance of moving forward with this conversation, it would need to be on a different topic.

  Fortunately, Christy was on the ball. “What Bill probably means to ask is whether you can lead us back to the cave they brought you out of.”

  “Of course,” Gan replied. “It would do us little good, though. Ib’s forces are well aware of it. I have little doubt it would be heavily guarded, assuming she did not have the Jahabich collapse it once it became obvious what had occurred. No, there were many other entrances to their lair, some more trafficked than others. We would do far better to find one that is less traveled. Albeit, there is little chance that any exist that would grant us passage without running into at least marginal resistance.”

  “Some is better than all,” I offered. “Besides, we’re the beggars here. We can’t be choosy. If she turns all of the vamps she kidnapped, it’s gonna be bad.”

  “For her,” Gan replied.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Your habit of feigned ignorance when it is obvious you heard what I said is quite adorable, my love, but perhaps we can save it for another time.”

  “Who said Bill’s playing?” Sally asked between mouthfuls.

  “Were Ib to turn all of the vampires under her thrall,” Gan continued, “it would prove detrimental to her cause. If I am immune to compulsion, then it is logical to assume others would be as well. Though Vehron had many true followers in his grasp, I have no doubt that an equal number followed him out of little more than fear. Freed and with the Wanderer present to rally them, they could pose a potential threat to Ib.”

  I got up to refill my glass. “That’s good.”

  “An insignificant threat, mind you.”

  “That’s bad.”

  “But a threat nevertheless. Though your friend might be pure, he is not perfect.”

  “I could’ve told you that,” Tom said from his spot propped up on the kitchen counter.

  “What I mean is,” Gan clarified, putting down her fork, “though the Cult of Ib has preached freedom in the past, it would ill serve her at this juncture. In order to topple the First, she must be able to assert a modicum of control. Without it, her odds of success are even at best, and that is being generous.”

  I returned to my seat and sat back down. Damn, should have grabbed myself a few more waffles while I was up. “But with her power...”

  “It still would prove inadequate. The remainder of the First are even now doubling their precautions against her. It might be enough to counter her power of compulsion or it might not. However, even if they fail, that does not greatly help her.”

  “Why not?” I asked, getting up to fill my plate again.

  “Because compulsion is finite,” Sally said.

  “The whore is correct,” Gan replied, drawing a dirty look despite her pseudo-compliment. “Why do you think Alexander has not simply chosen to directly control the world’s masses? It is because he can’t. Ib took control of those present in the northern prefecture, a feat even Alexander would have been hard pressed to perform single-handedly. I would wager that even if that were not the limit of her powers, then it was close. Were the First to attack her with an army, she could potentially sway a portion of them, but not the entirety.”

  “What if she grabbed hold of the generals?” Sheila asked.

  “A logical assumption, Shining One,” Gan replied. If she harbored any ill will toward Sheila from earlier, it didn’t show. “But the generals, as you might call them, would be protected by the heaviest counter-compulsions. They would also be of superior age to their troops, thus more resistant. No matter the scenario, compulsion alone cannot win the war for Ib. I suspect that is at least partially why she has chosen to remain hidden all these centuries.”

  “And if her troops were completely immune to compulsion, that would pretty much make the entire point moot,” Sally added. “Although I doubt Alexander would be too fond of that himself. Would mean he’d have to do things the old fashioned way – lead the troops and hope they didn’t decide to go the friendly fire route.”

  “Indeed. This new development favors Ib’s strategy, but it is not yet a winning gambit.”

  “So we make it ours,” Sally said. “We rally every vamp that’s sick of this compulsion shit and make them immune once and for all.”

  I sat and reached for the syrup. “It has potential.”

  “Good,” she replied, grabbing the bottle and holding it just out of my reach, “because I’m volunteering to be the first recruit.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  “Wait, what?” I asked. “Let’s not be hasty. We don’t know what...”

  “No, you don’t know what it would do to you. You’re the Freewill, and there’s no telling how that would fuck up your powers ... more than they already are anyway. But for me, the choice is pretty simple.”
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  “Yeah, but...”

  “Fuck the buts!” She stopped and looked around at the wide-eyed stares. “Grow up. You know what I mean. We’re talking freedom here, Bill. Do you even understand what that means for most of us?”

  “Um, well...”

  “Trust me, you don’t. The worst you have to deal with is a migraine if someone mind-fucks you. The rest of us, we’re little more than slaves. Marlene, Jeff, Alexander; they're all the same. They give vampires like me an order and we have no fucking choice but to obey. Do you know what it’s like to have your will utterly subsumed? Do you know how it feels to betray people you care about without even blinking, all because someone else had a whim to do so?”

  I had no idea who Marlene was, but it seemed safe to assume she was another vamp Sally knew. Besides, interrupting to ask sounded like a good way to get a punch in the face. I knew Sally was upset about what Alex had done to her, but now that it was coming out, I began to understand how badly I’d underestimated it.

  “For over a quarter of a century I’ve been little more than a slave, and I’m a baby compared to some. Sure, there are plenty who drink the Kool Aid, but there are so many more who don’t have a choice. The whole system, both sides, could be taken down. Alex and Ib could be sent to the Hell they deserve along with any of their sycophants.”

  The pain radiated off her in near palpable waves. She was too tough to cry, but I could see even that was a struggle for her. So many years of building up a wall around herself, she struggled to tear it down even among friends. She needed the mother of all hugs, but, sadly for her, I couldn’t.

  Because she was wrong.

  “It’s not that simple,” I said.

  “What?”

  “This freedom you’re talking about. Sure, in the short term it might be a good thing, but in the long term it’s...”

  “A fucking disaster?” Tom offered.

  “Pretty much.”

  “Now explain why,” he then added. “Because I don’t get it.”

  Ugh, such a doofus.