Veracity: The Veracity Diaries

by E. M. Bernal

  PREFACE

  I’ve never been in love, nor did I want to be after what I’ve seen. When it happened, it was so intense, I could barely breathe. I realized maybe I shouldn’t have wanted it so badly, especially after finding out what he really “was.” We all eventually learn how intimate love forces you to realize how much your parent’s love affects your choices through their support, or the unfortunate lack thereof.

  STARTING OVER

  Diary 1

  A surreal feeling blanketed over me as I arrived in the parking lot of Harry Cotter High. Anxiety ramped up just sitting there in my 2005 red Corolla that my mother bought me. My thoughts were going crazy, but mostly about fitting in because I was determined to make this senior year memorable in this new city. Back in Denver, I can’t say it was a happy life either, considering I wanted to leave this world then. So, this, no matter what happens, has to be better than that.

  Portland, Oregon has nice weather, and even though it’s not freezing, it wasn’t warm either. I dressed comfortably with my favorite red peacoat jacket that my so-called dad left me for Christmas a few years back. I would have thrown it away by now, but I fell in love with it. I guess he had his moments, even though they were far, few, and in between.

  I continued to look around endlessly, nervous. The large dungeon-looking front doors were staring me in the face but the students who were walking in didn’t seem intimidating. Regardless, my heart was pounding 150 beats per minute, but at some point, I knew I had to get out of the car. I mustered up the courage to open the door, grab my books, but right then some kids started staring when they walked by. I looked back, realizing my car was an embarrassing mess. I frantically started trying to clean it, but the school bell went off. I let out a dramatic sigh, slammed the door, and ran towards the entrance. Great… I’m going to be late.

  When I finally made it inside, looking straight ahead, I avoided eye contact with others. This school was larger than mine back home and it resembled a maze. I stood there frozen, looking for the administration office when it suddenly felt like someone was staring, but when I looked to the left, no one was there, or at least so, I thought. Seeing things that are not there has been an on-going problem all my life, since I was five. Let’s just hope it’s not Schizophrenia, a secret I will continue to keep.

  I thankfully found the office to register. The lady at the front desk gave me a schedule and a map, which helped me find my locker quickly.

  A sudden tap to my right shoulder startled me from behind as I was putting my books away. A very tall good-looking blonde guy abruptly put his hand out to shake mine before I could turn all the way around. I stared for a moment but then thought, don’t be rude Veracity.

  “Oh hey…” I responded back with a closed smile.

  There didn’t seem to be a shy bone in his body, but he kept a decent distance.

  “Not happy to be here?” His goofy sarcasm broke the ice. We both let out half of a laugh.

  “No, I’m good… Sorry, I just was startled. I’m City, nice to meet you.”

  “City, like a city…city?” He questioned.

  “No, VE-RAC-ITY… City for short.”

  He retracted his attempt for a handshake because I didn’t respond to it, using my book bag in my hands as an excuse because I hate being touched.

  “City, that’s a great name. Well, I’m Cullan Counsel, nice to meet you.”

  I finally let out a welcoming smile in full effect.

  “If you want somebody to show you around, I can introduce you to some really cool people… So, where is your first class?” He asked, speaking with his hands.

  I grabbed the schedule from my pocket. “Room 24,” I answered quickly but stared at the paperwork to be sure.

  “Ha, right next to my class.” Cullan excitedly confirmed his knowledge of my destination, again revealing his extroverted excessive behavior, which I kinda admired. It’s definitely the opposite of me.

  He put his hands out to grab my books, but I nodded no as nicely as possible. He returned an understood-nod back and gave me a signal to follow instead. He continued to use his hands while speaking, which was kind-of-cool for the lack of a better phrase. I didn’t know if he was hitting on me, and I didn’t want to give the wrong impression, so I just stayed quiet until we finally reached the door to my class.

  “See you at lunch, City...” He said, winked, and waved bye.

  I stayed at the edge of the doorway after Cullan was out of sight, facing the classroom. It was really loud and crazy, and nobody noticed I was standing there like a statue. Not to mention, the oblivious teacher was scanning through a binder at her desk as if nothing was happening. I looked for a seat with my eyes, but I couldn’t find one fast enough.

  The teacher finally stood up to raise her voice. “Everybody behave… put it away, calm down. There is no need to act like children on the first day of school.” She was pointing her finger at different students like children, regardless of what she just said. I was thinking her exact words, but I put my thoughts aside to evaluate the room again. I was relieved to finally spot a seat. It was all the way to the back, which was perfect. I rushed there with my head slightly down.

  A good looking un-tidy black-haired guy, dressed well, resembling a stylish look sat in front of the seat I spotted. He looked directly at me as I came in his direction, but I pretended not to notice. When I plotted myself down to open my book, he quickly turned sideways towards my direction. As much as I didn’t want to talk to him, I was perfectly sure he was determined to say something.

  “Hey, I’m Logan, nice to meet you.” He extended his arm like Cullan did to offer a handshake, which again, I ignored.

  “Logan? What kind of name is that?” I blurted out, trying to joke, pretending not to be an introvert so I could avoid shaking his hand. Then, I realized how rude that just sounded.

  He retracted his hand and ignored my comment to continue.

  “What’s your name, if you don’t mind me asking?” Logan smiled.

  “I’m Veracity… but you can call me City.”

  “City? What kind of name is that???” He jokingly said with a vengeful tone, making us grin simultaneously.

  “Class please turn around and pay attention…” The teacher expressed loudly, obviously directing her frustration at us. Logan, with some guilt, widened his eyes and quickly turned around. The teacher carried on rambling, but not before he whispered, he’d catch me at lunch.

  ******

  I was exhausted listening to the teachers all day. They seemed to speak about nothing. The only thing I could hear was, “And, your homework for tonight is…” But, on a good note, the day was going by fast. The bell finally rang for lunch after my third class, bringing on a new wave of nerves, realizing I had no friends to sit with or talk to.

  I walked over to my locker drawing a blank because first I needed to find the cafeteria. I started digging in my pocket for the map, which became my holy grail to avoid asking anyone for directions. And… some halls were a little creepy and narrow, which I wanted to find my way out of quickly.

  I finally pinpointed it from the legend, then started to walk in that direction. I was hoping I could find Cullan. I remembered he said he would introduce me to a few people, which would be great right about now. I only had one semi-friend back home and we don’t text much anymore. I always avoided friends to prevent introducing my neglectful mom or explain why my dad was never around. It was best that I was a loner back in Denver, but I am determined to change that at Cotter High.

  Eventually, I realized I was lost. I was annoyed because apparently I can’t follow a map. I’m going to have to bite the bullet and ask for directions.

  An overweight da
rk-haired male, who looked over 40 in a suit with tight dress pants was standing in the hallway talking to some other students. He had to be a teacher.

  I slowly walked over.

  “Hi, sorry to bother...” I said to him when the other students scattered.

  “O, yes, hello.” He put his hand out to shake mine, but I used my books as a ploy to avoid.

  “I’m Mr. Graves, how can I help you young lady?”

  “Do you know which way the cafeteria is?”

  “Go down the hall, out the doors into the next building. Once there, take a right at the first doors to the left, and then take a left.” He was showing me on the map, adjusting the position of it to align with his verbal directions but it was still confusing. He smiled while looking at me up and down, which gave me the creeps. I quickly looked away and walked off slowly, barely muttering a thank you.

  I finally found it. It was a large crowded cafeteria. I spotted Cullan right away. He yelled out to me as soon as he saw me. He was sitting with a group of people who all looked high maintenance and extremely attractive.

  I did notice Cullan looked nice when I first saw him, but not in romantic way. I guess the concept of what my type is would play a role here, but I have no idea what my type is. I’ve never had a boyfriend before, so hopefully I’ll know when it happens. Plus, I really wasn’t concerned with what someone would consider pretty, even though I do hear how beautiful my green eyes and long brown hair are all the time. I simply keep my hair in a ponytail and hardly wear any makeup. It’s also quite obvious that I put no effort into getting dressed.

  I’m truly surprised guys notice me at all.

  I immediately look down at my clothes thinking, do I fit in over there? I had on jeans, Levi tennis with a decent shirt, but it was dressed down compared to them. I wasn’t opposed to sitting with them, but I hate the feeling of being judged. I started contemplating on just sitting somewhere else but Cullan kept waving me down. I would feel like a jerk if I ignored him. So… I gravitated in that direction, trying to stay straight faced as a million thoughts weren’t running through my head.

  I ended up near Logan and Cullan who were standing at their table side. Looking at the two together, they are probably best friends and had the same taste in girls. Yet, neither one of them did anything for me, even though both would be considered good-looking. I managed a little grin but still waited to be spoken to.

  Books, bags, and food trays were scattered. It didn’t seem like anyone was really eating either. Most were sitting engaged in random meaningless conversations with one guy practically on top of the table next to what seemed to be his girlfriend.

  I could feel Cullan’s excitement that I accepted his invitation because he started introducing me right away.

  “Hey everybody, this is Veracity!”

  They all repeated my name at the same time, making it sound like a chorus. It made me feel a little uncomfortable, but another grin managed to emerge since the first one already faded.

  “Well, you can call me City…” I said out loud while making a simple wave-gesture with my right hand. Unfortunately, that opened up a door for Cullan to grab it and walk me around the table to introduce.

  “Okay City…” Cullan started pointing at each person as he went down the line.

  “This is Drexy.”

  She was a beautiful girl who obviously believed she was the prettiest at the table. She dressed stylish without being too sexy. Yet, that didn’t hide her snobbery because she gave a dismissive smirk, making it known she didn’t care to meet, but I still said hello when we passed her.

  “This is Melissa, coolest chick here.” Cullan went on introducing.

  “O, God!” She quickly replied with sarcasm.

  She was another hot girl but seem more down to earth, even though her style was just as stellar.

  “You already met Logan, the goof of our group.” Cullan pointed and introduced, ignoring Melissa’s comment.

  “Hello again, pretty lady.” Logan responded while pushing his sexy hair back.

  “And, last but not least, Molly and Sam, the inseparable couple!” Cullan said with his hands in the air as if he was introducing a Broadway play. They both said hi at the same time, but somehow still ignored me. They were too into each other to notice anyone else. Some other guys and girls left the table before we went all the way around, thank goodness. I hated being the center of attention even if it was only for two minutes.

  I sat down next to the one that seem the most welcoming, Melissa. But, she bombed me with 10 questions immediately. “So, how do you like it? Where do you come from? Glad to be in our final year? Where did you go to school before?”

  I waited for her to take a breath.

  “I’m sorry, you lost me at hello…” I sarcastically joked, but she got it and we both broke out in a laugh.

  “Hi, I’m Melissa…” She immediately put out her hand, and this time I returned the handshake genuinely. I ultimately avoided any more questions by taking a big bite of my sandwich.

  After I hoovered down my lunch, I realized I barely glanced around the cafeteria. I decided to scan the room. I could not help but notice a group of retro/gothic kids stuck over in the other corner of the cafeteria, separate from everyone else. They were mostly dressed in black, tattooed, with radicle/different color haircuts, but I have to say they were still quite attractive and so were their outfits. Only five seconds had passed while I was examining each one when Drexy, who was across from me, suddenly pushed a small plastic cup at me.

  “Hey, stop looking over there.” Drexy snared.

  We immediately had a slight stare down.

  “Why?” I tried to keep my voice under wraps when our eyes locked.

  “Just don’t…You don’t want any problems with them, and we don’t want any problems with them.” Drexy insisted with a harsh tone.

  My eyebrows wrinkled in a state of confusion. It was my first day with no real friends and I wasn’t in the mood for making enemies, so I decided to stay silent.

  Drexy slightly leaned forward over the table to continue, “If you’re going to be a part of this group, stick to this group…Take my advice.” She got up to grab her stuff, looking away from me and then walked out, clearly upset, which attracted the attention of the entire group.

  I turned to Melissa right away for support.

  “What’s the problem?” I asked.

  “Just ignore her. We just don’t associate with them.” Melissa responded shortly. I stayed silent and pretended it didn’t matter. But, after a minute or two, the entire group started to take off and Melissa suddenly whispered to me.

  “There’s a rumor, and I think she hates Robert. She just doesn’t want them to get any attention from our table… Don’t worry I’ll protect you.” She tried to clear up my confusion and shrugged my arm. But, I still didn’t understand.

  “Wait, what rumor? And, who’s Robert?” I relentlessly asked, still in a state of deep loss.

  “Supposedly she used to have a thing for Robert West, or Robert for her, but they both have different stories about it. Robert’s sister is the one that started the rumor, Trisha, she’s the tall one over there with short black and purple hair…Listen, it doesn’t matter. Drexy denies it and she is embarrassed by the whole thing in my opinion. So, she gets a little offended if anyone talks to them.”

  Even though Melissa answered clearly, I still had to ask.

  “Why is she embarrassed?”

  “O, come on City.” Melissa started to gather her stuff from the table to sarcastically end her sentence with, “Look at them…”

  “Which one is Robert?” I was determined to ask before she left.

  Melissa looked at me to avoid being obvious and pointed with her eyes, “He’s the tallest one over there with the silver and black jacket. Got the short-textured spikes going on with black hair. He does actually have a cute face, I guess.” She shrugged her shoulders to see if I’d agree.

  My first reaction was to loo
k over quickly now that Drexy left the table. To my surprise, I immediately thought, wow, he is hot, but it was hard to see how handsome he was because of the intense effort he made to avoid looking attractive. He had one small diamond earring on the top of his ear, black hair against his perfect bronze skin, which actually suited him with shiny black combat boots. I felt like I had seen him somewhere before. But, where?

  The bell rang.

  I was the last one leaving with my trance over him, which he unexpectedly noticed, so I quickly looked away as he walked by.

  The coast was finally clear, and I ran to my next class.

  ******

  I was able to get through the rest of my classes easily. I didn’t make any strong friendships, but at least had people to talk to. Except Drexy of course, for whatever reason, but it didn’t matter. It was very comforting to fit in, considering I never fit in anywhere, not even in my own home back in Denver.

  Although school went well, I wasn’t going home with peace. There are a lot of things I still needed to sort out, regardless of the divorce being final between my mom, Unity, and Luke, my dad.