Veracity: The Veracity Diaries

by E. M. Bernal

  “We are not using time Veracity. Time doesn’t exist here with us in this form.”

  “What do you mean? No time has passed?”

  “Maybe a millisecond or so but there is no time and space when you are out of your body with me.”

  “So, it’s the same time when we left?”

  “Yes, it’s the exact same time, except for a second or two.”

  ‘Wow… I wish I understood all of this.”

  “You don’t have to, just enjoy it.” Said Ren with a gorgeous smile when he hugged me to let me know it was time to go somewhere else.

  “Let’s go. Think of snow.” Ren said.

  The world seemed to spin each time when we traveled but you can’t really see it or feel it. Ren explained that since we are pure energy, everything is at the speed of light through our source. It was hard to explain it if I had to, the word amazing was the only word I could really use to describe what was happening.

  When I opened my eyes, we were standing on top of a dark wooden cabin that was in a tree. It was cold and quiet with a dark but romantic setting. The entire area was covered by white beautiful snow. A string of lights in lanterns were all around from bridge to bridge and tree to tree. I had to warm my body with heat because I was allowing my senses to feel the cold since the cold triggered through my eyes. There was a fireplace with two chairs on the outside. The furniture inside was all white with dim lights from lamps showing from the windows. We seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, but the peace was so serene that bliss was the only thing you could feel. We decided to sit and Ren lit the fireplace with his mind.

  “How do you know of all these places?”

  “When you have nothing to do on the other side, you travel. I tried to remember places people would talk about and so on when I passed. Then I would visit them. I used my powers to discover what life was like around the world while living. It gave me something to smile about.”

  “Does it depress you when you think of your life?”

  “Sometimes because I know I don’t want to come back and start over.” Ren said looking out into the vast snow in front of us. I didn’t know how to comfort him, but I wanted to know more.

  “Did you get along with your parents?” I asked.

  “Well, they were good to me even though I was adopted.”

  “Do you know why your mom gave you up?” I became cautiously curious.

  “No, I never asked much when I was alive. But, I do know who she is.”

  “How did you find out?”

  “After death, your energy can travel to others who think about you. She thinks about me often.”

  “Do you visit her without her knowing?” I probed.

  “I have but I didn’t allow myself to be revealed to her. Somehow her energy came to me, she has powers too.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It doesn’t matter, she has three other kids now, I guess she never needed me. I don’t really want to talk about it anymore if you don’t mind.” Ren stated with a sad look.

  It made me sad to think that when he was living, he didn’t know who his real mom was. And, I knew what he was feeling because that’s how Unity feels to me sometimes. I let it go and didn’t ask any more questions. His facial expression told me to talk about something else.

  “I sometimes think life is pointless and if energy never dies, maybe this better than living.” I went negative because his sadness triggered mine.

  “Veracity, we live so we can learn. Without physical pain, we don’t learn. I have stopped learning; I can only appreciate now. And, I don’t want that for you.”

  “I know what you are saying but I don’t feel that way. I’m still sorting out if I want to be here.”

  “You can’t just give up.”

  “If this world makes me unhappy, why should I stay?

  “I can’t lie to you, there’s a part of me that just wants to be with you for infinity and just let you pass over but if I really love you, I will just wait until it’s your time.”

  “I wish you were alive. I wish we could get a place together…and maybe I won’t need my mom’s love so much.” I said that but realized the fantasy was going too far, considering the reality.

  “The only way I can come back is if I reincarnate but we would not be able to be together anyway.” Ren explained.

  “I know, you would be a baby again, right? I could take care of you.” I joked, but realized it was a bad joke.

  “The transfer erases the memory. I won’t know you. I would have a new name and life. We can meet again but it will be on different terms.”

  “Why do you think energy does it that way Ren?”

  “I don’t know Veracity. I don’t know.” Ren responded with sadness in his voice.

  “I finally got a heart and now I can’t even use it.”

  “What do you mean?” I looked over at him to focus on what that meant.

  “I had a heart condition since I was a baby. My adoptive parents did everything possible to try to save me. But unfortunately, I needed a heart transplant. When I was having a hard time breathing they finally took me in. And I was in for almost a week while they look for a donor.”

  “Did they get one?”

  “Yes, a man who died came in and transferred his heart to me but as I told you, one year later I died in a car accident.”

  Ren stopped talking and I could tell his energy was getting dim. “Let’s go.” I said to ease the pain. He grabbed my hand and I was suddenly back in my body.

  I felt my body against the rocks and dirt. My eyes finally fluttered open. I could hear the same kids nearby in the garden playing music and laughing. I got up to wipe myself down. He was right, no time had passed when I looked at cell phone. It was only one minute off from the time I left my body. Time is everything in the physical world, but I guess time doesn’t ever matter when I with Ren.

  Conflicting Love

  DIARY 16

  This week was all about love. But, not for Unity, not for Ren, not for Robert, but for myself. For once… myself….

  I realized as much as I needed answers from Robert, I wanted to hold on to what I finally accomplished with Ren. I really did not know if it was okay to love him since it seems dark to commit suicide, but energy lives on as I understand it, and I refuse to see death as death now. In fact, I didn’t think I was going down to a dark side because I was merely trying to make sense of it in a selfish way. And, for the time being, that was okay, I thought. I am only human.

  But then again, am I fully human?

  That night when I arrived home alone, I wanted to tell Melissa, or someone what I was feeling and what happened, but there was no one who would understand. Not even Unity.

  I decided it was time to talk to Robert after some serious thought. I needed to clear up everything. What kind of warlock or necromancer was Robert and how much did he know about me and Ren? Even though I was confused, what I did know is that the whole conflict was strange. I asked Ren to leave me alone for a few days, so, I could clear my thoughts and text Robert the next day.

  ******

  The next morning came too soon. I woke and didn’t hesitate.

  ME: Can we talk?

  ROBERT: Yes.

  I received a reply within seconds.

  ME: Meet me at the Garden?

  ROBERT: Okay, what time?

  ME: One hour.

  ROBERT: I’ll be there.

  When I showed up at the garden, the light of the moon was so vibrant. I have seen it many times

  but the glimmer seemed extra bright tonight and there was a slight wind blowing against the flowers and trees. It was comforting until I was startled. A hand touched my shoulder.

  “Hey…” Robert said and smiled when I turned around.

  “Hi.” I said slowly. I was sad that I had to clear up his confusion.

  “Listen, I’m not here to get back together. I just want to…”

  “No, I understand.” Robert interrupted, but immediate
ly sensed a sadness take over him.

  Robert turned his back on me to hide his expression and walked over to one of the stone benches to take a seat. He patted the bench for me to follow. I didn’t want to sit too close, but I have to admit a ton of memories came crashing down on me and I was compelled to sit as close as possible.

  “I’m sorry Robert, I’m just so confused.”

  “No, it’s not your fault, I should have been honest with you, but I didn’t want to scare you away.”

  “I’m not scared of you. I adored you from the beginning and it would have stayed that way.”

  “But, what now?” Robert wanted more.

  “I love him Robert. I’m sorry.”

  I decided to cut the cord before anything else could happen or be misunderstood.

  “Veracity, you can’t be with a ghost.”

  “Oh, but I can be with a Necromancer?”

  “I’m half human, Ren is not.” Robert said in a condescending way.

  I became silent because I didn’t want to argue but then I thought about the real problem.

  “It’s my choice.” I said outload as stern as possible.

  Robert sighed.

  “So, are you going to explain?” I asked.

  “Necromancer is a one who possess unearthly powers. We have superhuman abilities to run, see, hear and enormous strength. But we are not what most call Warlocks and Witches. Those are slang names for our culture and the powers that they possess in Hollywood work in a different order than our real worlds. We have many different clans that control the corners of the earth. We all govern on different sides. The North, South, East and West. I am from the East clan. There are tiers of us.”

  “Tiers?” I asked.

  “I’m young. I would have to have someone in high archery grant me greater powers as I earn my time here. We can evolve with powers as time goes on.” Robert continued explaining.

  “These powers, do you use them all the time?”

  “We are not allowed to use them in front of humans but you’re not fully human Veracity. That is why I was so compelled to be with you. I knew early on.”

  “What could you sense?”

  “That you have a powerful energy, but I just couldn’t tell how much. You may develop more powers as you get older, like us.”

  “Like you? I’m not like you. I’m just psychic.”

  “No, you can do more.” Robert suggested.

  “What can you do?” I asked to change the subject.

  “I can move very quickly, I have bionic hearing and seeing, and my strength is 10 times greater than any human.”

  “That is why Trisha could move so fast and smash Drexy like that…” I muttered under my voice but Robert heard.

  “Yes, she used her powers against Drexy to help you.”

  “But, why? She doesn’t seem to like humans very much.” I was confused.

  “Because she doesn’t know you have gifts, and she thinks your human and she doesn’t want me to date a human. It could weaken our systems.”

  At the time I didn’t question it but one can pick up that if Robert new I wasn’t fully human, how could Trisha not know? And, Drexy seem to have superhuman strength too but those thoughts vanished quickly, and I didn’t bother to ask.

  “Weaken systems?”

  “Well, humans can’t fight Necromancers and they would use you as bate if we ever went to war.”

  The idea of a superpower war never crossed my mind, but me being used as bate was even more disturbing. I would never understand why they would go to war, but I heard enough. I didn’t feel like talking anymore, it was exhausting. But, I started to remember that the first time I saw him move quickly to the door, and the glow that reveled from his back was mesmerizing. I wanted to see it again, now that I know I’m not crazy.

  “Move fast.” I randomly requested.

  “What?” Robert asked with confusion.

  “I want to see your expediential moves.” I demanded with a sexy voice.

  Robert smirked. He looked down at the stone bench we were sitting at, and he asked me to stand. He grabbed it with one hand, lifted it up and within a split second he was gone with the stone bench that weighed a ton on the other side of the garden. Some of my hairs stood upu through the brisk wind, but I was so stunned I didn’t move. I became frozen with a sigh that could barely flow thorough my breath. My heart started to feel a little light as if I was remembering the love that developed for him. I still can’t tell you till this day why it wasn’t enough, but I can tell you that I didn’t have to question anything about Ren when I was with him, the way I do with Robert. It simply didn’t matter that I was attracted to him and adored him dearly, again, it just wasn’t enough.

  Robert returned 1 minute later and place back the stone bench. I looked up.

  “Well, that is amazing.” I said with astonishment.

  “Is it?” Robert said sarcastically.

  “Well, it’s not?” I asked.

  Robert stayed silent and decided to change the subject.

  “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. I should have told you I knew that you were psychic and that I had powers.”

  “Well, it’s all said and done now. I’m not going to stay mad and I know you love me but we can’t see each other and you need to accept Ren.”

  We were standing close to each other. Our faces would touch if he lowered his neck or if I stepped closer. I knew that feeling was too intense, and I knew I needed to step back. But, a part of me wanted to just pick Robert to make him happy. My tears weren’t fully formed but pricked at the bottom of my eye lids. I had enough strength to hold them back and move away.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t give you what you want.” I said.

  A moment of silence fell between us.

  “I’ll wait forever if that is what it takes City.”

  “I love him Robert.”

  “I know you’ve told me that… I heard you the first time.” Robert looked at me with a glare in his eyes that held in the pain.

  “I have to get going.” I said to cut the energy off between us.

  “I’ll walk you to your car.” He obliged.

  I hugged Robert tight as he opened my door for me. “It’s okay, I’ll be fine, I promise.” I said to reassure him that I was happy.

  “Listen, before you go. I just want you to know we are connected. I can feel when you’re in pain or if anything is wrong. I will have to check you even if it makes you mad at me City. I wouldn’t be able to live if anything happens to you.”

  “Don’t say that. Nothing is going to happen to me. But thank you.”

  I walked off, glad the conversation was over and that answers no longer lingered.

  ******

  I threw my books on the bed. I sat there with a glare in my eyes, looking out my window. Unity has not been home most nights. I decided to text her. I was starting to get curious.

  ME: Mom, are you okay? Where have you been?

  Nothing came through. I was unscrambling some thoughts in my head and I kept checking my phone over and over, but she still had not answered. I was starting to get worried. I decided to wait a couple of hours before I called or texted again.

  A deep sigh emerged from my throat as I put my head back on my bed frame. I could hear my grandma’s voice whisper in my ear. “You worry too much my little City.” A peace finally consumed me, trying to conjure a meditative state of being. But right then, a white filtering smoke filled the room and Ren was standing before me.

  “What did I tell you about that?” I scolded him, breaking from my meditation.

  “I know but I miss you Veracity. I can’t do this. I can’t stay away for long.”

  “Ren, just because you can filter in and out like a ghost doesn’t mean you have the right to.”

  Ren stared at me but ignored the frustration.

  “Are you okay?” He shuttered to ask.

  “Yes… I’m sorry.” I responded to repent my tone of voice that snapped at him.
>
  “Please come here.” I signaled him to sit next me when I sat up on the edge of the bed.

  Ren concentrated his energy to put his arm around, and I felt like crying. I decided to leave my body so I could embrace him fully. Ren noticed and turned to me to be closer. And, when my eyes opened, I wrapped my arms around him, put my head on his chest while the tears started to roll down my face.

  “Are you okay?” Ren asked with sadness in his voice. I looked up and into his eyes to answer. “Don’t speak.” I said as I grabbed his face. I began kissing him and slowly pushing him back on the bed. I could feel the intense vibe between our bodies. I could feel his love inside of me, even though he wasn’t yet. Stay a virgin. I said in the back of my mind. But, would it really be the same considering I’m outside of my body, I thought. I guess the experience is what matters, so in the end, it would matter greatly. I forced myself back off of him with the overwhelming compulsion ramping in my veins and underneath my skin. The strength to push off was so intense that I was back in my body when I opened my eyes, and Ren’s image was on the floor.

  “Woooo….” A strenuous last breath came out of his voice.

  “Well, that was a close call.” He said as his head bumped the ground, while he still on his back, holding his gut.