Veracity: The Veracity Diaries

by E. M. Bernal

“Oh, stop it. Get up!” I said with giggles.

  Sometimes I felt safe with him and other times I felt scared to be with him. But, the laughter always made me feel better no matter which emotion took over.

  “I’m sorry. I want you to make the right decision for yourself. We don’t have the same situation as most.” Ren said to make sense of what just happened.

  “Yes, we do. I wouldn’t be a virgin anymore regardless Ren.”

  “I know… Ren answered with a sad look on his face.

  “What?” I asked because I was not sure what that meant.

  “I can’t ever give you a wedding that you deserve. I can’t meet your parents and do things right. This situation isn’t anywhere near what human tradition should be. In fact, it’s strange.” Ren got up from my bed and started pacing around my room.

  “Why would you even bring up marriage?” I asked with confusion.

  “Because it’s not right for you to have sex with somebody that hasn’t really fully committed to you.”

  “I would marry you. I would take care of you.”

  “I know Ren.” I responded from a distance but didn’t feel like meditating anymore to touch him.

  I laid back on my bed and decided to relax my thoughts. Ren spent the night. I needed some rest, so he watched me sleep, I’m sure. Unity never texted me back that night, but I ignored the thought.

  ******

  The weekend finally came, and I decided to go meet Ren at the garden. No one was there during the day, which was nice. We had an eventful time walking along the lake and talking. We parted for the evening. I wanted to relax when I got home and finish up some reading.

  I didn’t hear from Unity the whole weekend. A huge part of me was starting to suspect she was with Luke back in Denver and that sent a subconscious depression through my veins, but I brushed it off to get ready. I never once tried to tap into her thoughts, I was too scared what I would feel or hear.

  ******

  The school week passed and saw her only once. She claimed she left early to work and was working late. I kept my mind off her by meeting up with Ren often.

  When I arrived to meet Ren at the garden. He was standing there with the brightest smile, which makes mine come alive.

  “Hey, how are you?” I said when he gave me a tight hug, which became a long hug after doing a slight standing mediation. I was getting better and better at this.

  He pushed my hair back with his hands. “Thank you for coming to see me.”

  I tugged my closed fist onto his chest, launching my face along with them in it. I could feel his breath upon my hair as he ran his hands threw it.

  “How have you been feeling?” Ren asked and rose my head with his fingers from my jaw line.

  “Not good. I can’t find my mother.” I said and singled him to sit at the nearest bench with me.

  “What? What do you mean?”

  “I’m not saying she’s missing but she won’t text back. And, I can’t tap into her thoughts. I have a feeling she is blocking me.”

  “Ask your grandma…” Ren suggested.

  “I’m scared to.”

  “Why?” Ren looked at me with concern.

  “I think she is with Luke. The only time she disappears is when she is with him.”

  “Do you want to go find her?”

  “No. No…I don’t.”

  My thoughts about Unity were swimming in all directions and staring at Ren is the only thing that felt safe.

  “I want to be with you. I think I’m going to be with you forever after all.” I blurted out with confidence.

  “What made you decide this?” Ren said that while withholding the obvious. Those words had to have brought him comfort. But, he didn’t want to sound selfish, I’m sure.

  I left my body to connect to him because we both decided not to say anything else of the matter. We felt solid, kissing, embracing each other’s arms and legs. The breathing was always heavy and I wanted to allow him but I told him no.

  ******

  The next morning, I heard a noise in the kitchen. Unity was cooking breakfast and singing Sweet Nightingale from Cinderella for some God-awful reason. I ran downstairs with a blanket wrapped around me to avoid getting fully dressed. She was facing the opposite direction cooking eggs and pancakes in a skillet. She was just about to flip the pancake as I interrupted.

  “Uh, okay…. Where have you been?” I said and asked with a huff. My hair was frazzled, and I had a frustrated look on my face because I was definitely mad.

  “City, you are 18 years old, you don’t need me every day.” She answered as she kept on cooking.

  “Do you have any interest in being a mother ever?” The word ever was sounded out, just in case she didn’t understand the full sentence.

  “City, stop. I don’t want to fight with you.”

  “Mom, tell me where you were… not with Luke, right???” I said in a low voice, but with the most sarcastic tone one could hear.

  Unity put the cooking pan down but didn’t face me. She remained silent and went over to the refrigerator as if I asked nothing. My eyes followed her.

  “MOM! Stop ignoring me!”

  Unity slammed the refrigerator door to turn to me, becoming frustrated in return.

  “Okay, calm down. There is no need to yell Veracity.” She responded in a stern but low voice.

  “Just tell me, just tell me where you were.”

  “It’s none of your business.” Unity turned back to finish cooking and pretended it was no big deal that she was gone for four days.

  “Mom!”

  “If you must know, yes, but we are just talking.” Unity finally admitted what I already knew in a voice that made me boil but I wanted to cry at the same time. My eyes glazed over and I could not hold it in.

  “Talking! How long do you need to talk? FOUR DAYS? And, about what! Who needs to talk to their ex and not come home to their kid for four days!”

  “You are overreacting like usual.”

  “No, I’m not! Just stay away from me if you don’t care then!”

  Unity slammed down the items on the kitchen counter.

  “City, get back here.”

  “NO! Leave me alone.”

  “I hate being here because you’re never going to change!!!” I yelled as I went back up the stairs. I didn’t know where to go but I knew I need to text Melissa right away to get out of my house.

  When I finally reached my room to get my phone, my text read:

  ME: Melissa, busy?

  MELISSA: A little, but no big deal, what’s going on?

  ME: Can I go over? Maybe stay a few days with you?

  MELISSA: Sure… you okay?

  ME: Yeah, thanks. See you soon.

  I planned on staying at Melissa for a while. I wasn’t ready to face Unity or Luke. Especially now that I know he’s not my dad. I arrived at Melissa’s as she was packing her things. She had to head out of town for a tournament, but as usual her parents were not home, or coming any time soon.

  “Hey, girl, come in… Listen, I’ll be gone for two days. You can use my room.” She said softly with a smile as she waved for me to come in. She was nice enough not to ask any questions. Besides the only thing I wanted to do was take a nap. The fight caused me to have a huge headache.

  I waved Melissa goodbye and went to fall asleep on her bed.

  When my eyes closed it immediately turned dark for a minute and then…

  A cloud of white smoke appeared around me, but I couldn’t see anything. I smiled hoping Ren was nearby. I noticed I was in the garden but don’t remember driving there. I wasn’t confused but I knew something was different. I looked around. The leaves and flowers were not as bright as they usually are, and with a deep breath I realized I was floating. I released the air from my lungs as it emerged from my throat, but I wasn’t scared yet. I thought Ren might be playing a trick on me, but I heard my name being called by a male voice that was not his.

  “Veracity, Ver -a -city…” Hi
s voice was shimmering in waves of sound around me.

  “Who’s there???” I demanded but felt helpless. I still couldn’t put myself back flat on the ground to stand on my own.

  “David…” The voice answered.

  “David who?” I was confused. But during the silence, it gave me a moment to think. My grandma’s words came across my thoughts. David Cedric. Your real father. A moment of happiness filled my soul. “DAD! DAD!” I didn’t want to stop saying his name.

  “Yes, my daughter…” He answered but I could not see him. I looked and looked, yet there was nothing but shadows of darkness of what look like the trees. “Please come to me. Please…” I begged.

  “You’re not ready Veracity…”

  “What?”

  “I will see you soon when you are ready.”

  “Ready for what?”

  “Soon… one day soon….” The voice said and drifted off.

  “No. Don’t go…” I said with heavy heart when tears suddenly fell down my eyes. My hand touched my face to wipe them but as they cleared, I realized I was dreaming because they fully opened. I rose from Melissa’s bed thinking of Ren holding me because there was no one else I wanted more than ever.

  I could not talk to Ren at her house just in case someone came home, but at least I had a sanctuary for now. I wanted to make arrangements to meet him at the garden the next day after school. The day went on but not to my surprise, I didn’t hear from Unity at all for the next two days.

  ******

  School let out early from my last class. I ran to my car to get ready to go meet Ren. The garden was better looking when night fell but the sun was serene on it too. I thought it would be good to go when the lake was more visible. I fell in love with the garden, it was my safe haven for now. I can’t imagine ever living in another city, if I decided to stay on earth.

  Ren sat next to hold me, going in and out of white smoke. I guess my tears can even give a ghost anxiety. I felt incredibly depressed and sad. To the point where I don’t know why I ever trusted my mother to begin with. Not that I had many options to stay but I still should have not trusted her. Maybe it would hurt less.

  “I’m sorry.” Ren said not knowing what else to say.

  “It’s not your fault. It hers. I know she’s going to go back to him. I know she’s going to make us leave Portland.”

  “You don’t have to go. You’re going to be 18.” Ren tried to interrupt with hope.

  “Where am I going to go Ren? What am I going to do? I can’t support myself…I just don’t want to be here anymore. I’m so tired of her doing this over and over again. She’s left before and she promised we wouldn’t go back. I had to change schools, and I couldn’t see my grandma or even make friends when this happens. It was hell.” I pushed away from Ren frustrated.

  “I don’t want to be here when she goes back.”

  “Veracity, don’t do anything rash, maybe it will fizzle out.”

  “She makes me miserable when she does this. I love her, but I hate that she doesn’t love me back.”

  I looked at him and put my head against his four head just crying and crying.

  “What do you want to do?”

  “I think I’m just gonna go with you.”

  “How do you plan to do this? You’re making me worry.” Ren recanted.

  All they have to do is take this bottle of pills. I pulled it out from my book bag. It’ll make me go into a deep sleep I won’t even know I’m transferring over.”

  “Veracity I want you to be with me for infinity. But I don’t know if I want you to kill yourself to do it.”

  “What do I have here? What is really here for me besides my mother introducing misery into my life? Like she always has. I’m invisible to her when it comes to Luke. You don’t know what it’s like Ren.”

  “I know what it’s like not to be loved by your own parents.” Ren rebutted with a straight face.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I was adopted Veracity.”

  “Ren, they loved you. Maybe your mother had good reason…”

  “Does it matter?” Ren responded with some anger.

  “Yes, it does.” I said to argue back.

  “Her name is Clare, my real mother, she has a whole other family now.”

  “There has to be an explanation.”

  “Like your mother has hers?”

  “Not fair Ren.” I immediately stood up from the bench.

  “I gotta go.” I stated now upset with him too.

  “What? Why are you leaving?”

  “Ren, I love you. I just have to go.”

  “Don’t do anything stupid City. Ren demanded in a low tone of voice but grabbed my arm to ensure I was listening. I looked up at him with a signal in my eyes to let me go. The energy he was using lasted a lot longer to hold onto my physical form, which scared me a little. But, he finally let go.

  He apologized. I walked off but then slightly turned back to look at him for a split second.

  “It’s my decision Ren, not yours. If you want to be there when I go, great, if not, like you, I will make it on my own wherever I am.”

  Ren’s eyes flickered with frustration and deep sigh came out of him, but he did not follow. White smoke slowly filtered around and he vanished watching me walk away.

  ******

  I decided it was time to head home. I went back to Melissa’s to pack my things. I needed to face my mom and figure out my plan. A big part of me wanted to tell Luke what I felt and how I never want to see him again after all the lies and abuse, but I don’t know if I had the guts to really do it.

  I decided to take a shower at Melissa’s before I left. The night came quickly and even though I was tired, I tossed my bag over my shoulder to head out. I was ready to be back in my room because it may be the last time I would ever see it again.

  ******

  The house was dark, but the living room lights were on. It shed just enough light through the windows and the kitchen when I walked in. I called out to Unity, but no one was home.

  A cell phone ring tone was going off over and over again. I recognized it to be Unity’s right away. I looked around the room, but I couldn’t tell where the noise was coming from. Then I realized it was coming from he room. I ran over to her bedroom thinking she was in there after all. Maybe she just didn’t hear me. But the room was empty, and the phone was lying on the bed alone still ringing. The word MOM was flashing on the main screen.

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “Veracity?”

  “Oh, hey grandma...” I crouched down on top of Unity’s bed.

  “Have you heard from your mother?” Grandma Amelia asked with stress in her voice.

  “No why?”

  “She’s in trouble…”

  My eyes squinted with confusion.

  “She left her phone here but she’s not here. What is going on?”

  “I think she’s with Luke.”

  “Will you do me a huge favor and look for Luke’s number on her phone and call?”

  “I’m not calling Luke grandma.” I answered with distress.

  “Listen, I need you to just call and make sure she’s okay City, I can hear her thoughts in and out and they are not good.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t feel something is right with her, just call.” Grandma Amelia demanded.

  I tried to tap into a mediative state, but I couldn’t feel anything. My powers were not great enough yet against her, but why could Grandma Amelia sense more, I thought.

  “Why can’t I feel anything?” I asked with a distraught but annoyed vibration.

  “She is blocking you; she didn’t ever want you to know she was with Luke.” Grandma Amelia explained.

  “City, please call her.” Grandma Amelia pleaded again.

  “He will probably hang up on me but okay, I’ll do it for you. I will call you right back.”

  I disconnected our call. I dropped Unity’s phone back on the bed and gr
abbed mine from my pocket. I took a deep sigh.

  The phone rang quite a few times, but he answered.

  “Hey Luke?”

  “Who is this?” He asked with his condescending tone.

  “Veracity …”

  “What do you want?”

  “Nice to hear from you Luke.” I had to answer sarcastically.

  “I’m not your father. I believe Unity already told you.”

  “Yes, thank God for the little blessings we have, huh?”

  “You’re just like your mother, you know that? What do you want?”

  “Where’s my Mom?”

  “Stalking me outside my house, drunk as usual.”

  “What? What do you mean?”

  “I have asked her to leave repeatedly. And, I was just about to call the cops…but, maybe you can get rid of her for me?”

  I clinched my fist. I wanted to beat him down the way he beat my mother, but I needed to play nice to get my mom on the phone.

  “Luke don’t play with me. Can you give the phone to my mother?”

  “Sure.”

  I heard Luke open and yell at Unity.

  “Unity it’s your daughter! Hurry up! We have to be somewhere.”

  I then heard Unity crying and yelling back.”