A Time of Anarchy- Mayan's Story

by Roberta Kagan

  In a few months, May Nightsky would turn sixteen. But she felt much older. Sometimes she believed she was more grown up than her parents. She planned to go to California and begin living a real life. It was time to stop struggling to make her parents love her, and accept that they never would. If only her heart would stop begging for their affection, she would be free.

  Without a car or even a driver’s license, the only way to get to San Francisco was to hitchhike. She’d done it numerous times with Eve. It wasn’t difficult, and most of the rides they’d had were pretty nice people. Once she saw the Golden Gate Bridge she would at last be home. Then it was only a matter of finding a job, and a youth hostel cheap enough for her to afford. May had read so much about the movement going on in the area known as the Haight. It was the hub of the hippie consciousness, and every day young people flocked there from all over the world. She couldn’t wait to be a part of it. That was where she belonged. Her future awaited her.

  Outside the club, lovers lay entangled on the grass, necking. Small clusters of young men and women huddled together, leaning against trees, smoking marijuana, talking, and laughing. The front lawn of the Psychedelic Circus was nearly as crowded as the inside.

  On the street, the motorcycles stood like soldiers lined up for roll call; a few of them doubled up to the width of an automobile. May counted over forty bikes, most of them top of the line American-made motorcycles, 1200 and 900cc’s. Most of the bikers had gotten off their machines and were standing against the trees, smoking and passing a bottle in a brown paper bag. Others were talking amongst themselves.

  The biker who had been sent to talk to May walked back to the gang leader.

  It had grown fairly quiet because the band had gone on break. From where she stood, May could hear the bikers speaking.

  “She don’t want to come over here. She says if you want to talk to her, go on over there. Forget about her; she’s some stuck up bitch. Nothin’ special.”

  The leader sat straddling his bike. “Did I fuckin’ ask you what I should do?” His booming voice carried through the air. Rage flashed across his eyes. Then he kicked the kickstand and set the heavy black motorcycle down. Intrigued, he walked over to the girl. The girl who would dare to say no to him.

  The gang leader approached May and smiled a sensous, drawing smile. “Hi. I’m known as Crazy Red.”

  “Interesting name,” she answered, looking away from him.

  “You wanna know why? ‘Cause I

  am

  crazy. And I’m a hot-blooded red man! An Injun.” He laughed. “Don’t nobody tell me what to do. I don’t follow no rules or no laws. If you stick with me you’re gonna have a good time, ‘cause that’s what I do. I have fun. See that gang over there? That’s my gang. Those is my boys.” He put his thumbs in the belt loops of his tight black jeans and thrust his chest out.

  She looked at him, pretending to be disinterested, when in fact she was fascinated.

  His voice grew into a roar, commanding that she listen, “Let me just give you a heads-up as to who you’re talking to, so you can show some respect. You see that bike, little girl? That’s a Harley 900, chopped and customed. The finest piece of metal man ever made. And it’s mine, all mine. And if you’re a good girl, I might just give you a ride.” Red leaned against a tree. “You see these colors on my back? It takes a hell of a guy to win these colors. I’m the leader of that bike club.”

  “Impressive.” May lifted her bottle, taking a swig. She struggled to appear cool, but inside she trembled. He scared her, but she must not let him know. She dropped her cigarette, stomping it out with the toe of her shoe.

  “You are one stuck up little broad.” He sounded angry, but when she looked up at his face, he was laughing. “What’s with the duffel bag?” he asked.

  “None of your business.”

  She took a fresh red and white pack of cigarettes out of her purse and packed them against her thigh. After removing the cellophane, she took one out and before she could light it, he did. It surprised her. She had not expected him to have any kind of manners.

  “Thanks.”

  He nodded. “See, I ain’t such a bad guy.” He winked at her. May really studied him for the first time. She had to admit that she found him kind of attractive. He was much older, powerful, admired, and worldly.

  Just then a young girl sprinted toward them; her long bleached-out blonde hair hung straight down her back.

  “May, there you are. I was inside the club looking all over the place for you.”

  “Eve, I’m so glad you made it.” May hugged Eve, relieved to see her at last.

  “What the fuck happened? Why’d you leave home?” Eve said as she took the bottle from May and drank.

  “My father had a fight with my ma last night. She walked out on him. So he got drunk and beat the shit out of me. Like always, there was no body else there to take it out on. So after he fell asleep, plastered, like the asshole he is, I left.”

  “Where you goin’?”

  “California, I think.”

  “Fuck, you’re crazy. How you gonna get there?” Eve asked.

  “Hitch, I guess.”

  “There’s some kinda killer on Route 66. That’s the main road to California. I heard about it on the news on TV last night. Hey, you got another smoke?”

  May shrugged, but secretly she was afraid. She took the pack out of her bag and offered Eve a cigarette. Red did not offer her a light.

  Out of the corner of her eye, May saw Red. He had not stopped watching her. His eyes slowly scanned over her small firm breasts. And he unconsciously licked his lips. If he thought she was going to let him fuck her, he had another think coming, because she wasn’t.

  “You need a place to stay. Even just for the night?” Red said to May, his voice soft, gentle, inviting. “We’re gonna have us a party, smoke a couple a joints. You know, have a little fun. Son’s of Rebellion got their own club house; it ain’t nothin’ fancy, but at least you’ll have a pad to crash for the night. Then tomorrow you can get on your way to California, but at least you ain’t gonna have to start traveling in the dark. And if it makes any difference to you, I promise to be a complete gentleman.” He bent from the waist, making a mock bow.

  She thought about it. It was true she had nowhere to go, and she was dog tired. The hot Chicago summer was taking its toll and added to the strain with her parents the night before, she thought. Rest might be a good idea before beginning her journey. “Can I stay with you?” May begged Eve.

  “My folks would kill me. I can’t bring you home. Listen, I can’t even stay out much longer. I fucked up, got caught smokin’ pot. I’m grounded. I gotta go home before they realize I’m gone. I just wanted to find you and find out what was happening. I think you should go home, May.”

  “I can’t, Eve, not now.”

  Until this minute, May had put up a brave front. She was sure that Eve would help her, perhaps even go with her to California. But now her stomach was doing gymnastics. Fear and uncertainty gripped her insides as she watched Eve walk away. It was late, dark, and she was totally alone.

  “I guess I do need a place to stay.” May turned to Red.

  He smiled. “At your service,” he said.

  May looked at Red. He was attractive, and he could be gallant in a strange way. But if she could turn back time, her gut told her that she should never have left home.

  When May ran away she’d been confident that she and Eve would travel together. Now Eve was gone. For a moment she considered swallowing her pride and returning home, but she was still so angry with her father that she refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing she’d failed without her parents’ guidance. They didn’t deserve that degree of importance.

  “Okay. I’ll stay with you, but just for the night.” May said to Red.

  “You’re gonna like the guys and the clubhouse. Come on, follow me.” His voice was warm and sincere. She wondered why just a moment before she’d distrusted him.


  May took a deep breath. Her life was about to begin and that was a good thing, so why was she still so nervous? She followed Red back to his motorcycle, her legs buckling and unsteady as she climbed on the back.

  Once Red kicked his bike over and it roared to life, it was a signal to the rest of the gang, and they followed suit. The street trembled with the thunder of the engines as the wind blew wild through May’s hair. The motorcycles picked up speed, roaring ever louder.

  Red lifted his front wheel. For a second they rode suspended on one tire. Then the bike dropped back down to its original state, and the group sped off in formation like a flock of eagles. Red rode alone at the front, the rest of the gang close behind him. May felt pride swell within her as she saw the envious looks on the faces of the girls who stood in front of the club, watching. She was the girl on the back of the leader’s bike.

  It was late. The highways were deserted as the gang sped north on the Eden’s expressway up into the rural area toward Wisconsin.

  From her throne in the sky the full moon wept as she watched the young girl, so innocent, racing headlong into her destiny.

  Chapter 2

  The Son’s of Rebellion tore around the corner, pulling up to the entrance of a decrepit farm house turned garage, now used as the Son’s of Rebellion’ clubhouse. They parked their cycles. Some lit cigarettes or joints as they spread like a mass of cockroaches around the rooms.

  “Hey, gimme a beer,” a gang member wearing colors over his naked chest

  and dirty black jeans demanded of the man who stood in front of the motor oil-stained refrigerator. A stain of burnt orange rust circled the refrigerator on the concrete floor.

  “Throw one over here,” another one of the guys called out.

  Beer bottles popped.

  “Want one?” Red turned to May as he cracked the top off a dark glass bottle.

  “Uh uh, no thanks,” she replied.

  “Ya sure? We got plenty.”

  “Yeah, but thanks anyway.” Her instincts told her this was a night to stay sober.

  “Let’s smoke a joint,” Red said to May. “Hey Bill, gimme some reefer.”

  A lanky man, sickly-thin with a pock-marked face and blond hair so sparse his scalp shone through in the light, took a small plastic bag out of the pocket of his grimy pants and handed it to Red.

  Red smiled at May, dangling the bag of marijuana in front of her.

  “No, that’s okay,” May said. A strained smile came over her face. To hide their trembling, she tucked her hands under her thighs.

  From across the room, a wiry, muscular fellow covered with wrinkles and facial tattoos noticed May. His half smile revealed only a few remaining black teeth. “Hey Red, I want a piece of that ass…” He licked his lips. “Are you gonna let us initiate the little gal for you?”

  “No, Tomahawk, this one is mine; stay the fuck away from her if you know what’s good for you,” Red answered.

  May knew that Red could force himself on her. She would fight like hell, but she was no match for him. It was a gamble, but if her instincts were correct, the way he was leaning against the wall, his body told her that he was king of this realm. He wouldn’t be satisfied raping her; no, he wanted her to beg him. May prayed she was right; her safety this night depended upon it. Again, she reasoned it out. Women threw themselves at him all the time. Even now, she could see the looks on the faces of some of the girls as they strived for his attention. Well, she would never throw herself at him, or any other man, for that matter. Yes, she wanted to be loved. As hard as that was for her to admit, she longed to be loved. But not as a pitiful, weak being who spent her life waiting for a man to toss her a bone. If that was all there was to be had, then she would spend her life alone. No, if he wanted her, he must prove himself worthy. If things got ugly, he might take her against her will, but that was not the way to win her love.

  “You can stay here for as long as you want. This is my gang, and this is my clubhouse…” She had become so lost in thought that she hadn’t realized that Red was standing beside her, talking to her.

  “Thanks. If I could just crash here for the night that would be great,” she said.

  “Yeah, sure. Stay as long as you want. Make yourself comfortable. Like I said, I make the rules here.” He then went back over to stand by the other gang members. She watched him lean a bottle of beer against the counter and flip the top, then start guzzling.

  First, she slid into the corner, huddling against the wall. The cement was cool on her back. Then May fluffed her duffle bag and lay it down to use as a pillow.

  It was only for one night. She would try to get some sleep. But try as she might, she could not help but see Red’s eyes fixed on her from the other side of the room. The desire he felt for her covered his face. It was in his eyes as they burned through her like a meteor dropping from the sky might burn through the earth. So far he’d been a perfect gentleman, so why was she so afraid of him? A chill came over her, and she didn’t know why. He couldn’t know that she was a virgin; at least he couldn’t be sure. It was best if he didn’t find out. That little carrot would make her an even greater conquest. May was a little afraid of all men, and this one scared her. Even though she was flattered by his attention, it was best to move on and leave this place as soon as possible.

  The room overflowed with members of the Brood. They scattered, drinking, smoking dope and making love. Music blared from a radio in the corner. Through half-closed eyes May saw Red standing against a far wall, licking his lips, watching her.

  Red sauntered over to her. She hoped he would think she was asleep. He lay down beside her, reaching over her to caress her. “You smell so fucking good. Sweet, like a baby. It makes me want you so bad,” he said as he turned her body to face him. Then he grabbed her, taking her in his arms. Her dark eyes flew open in terror as he pressed his lips to hers. It was all happening so fast. The room was spinning. Her breath caught in her throat. She knew that the others were watching but it didn’t matter.

  Red’s excitement came on quickly, with heavy breathing. May could feel the hardness of his manhood pressed against her side. He held her in a death grip. Then he forced his tongue into her mouth, tasting and exploring her.

  May had hardly expected him to attack her so abruptly.

  His tongue was rancid with alcohol and cigarettes. And he was so close to her that the pungent body odor of sweat and leather filled her nostrils. May gagged. When he pressed his face against hers it was clammy with sweat. She pushed away from him with all of her strength, afraid that if she did not she would throw up in his mouth. She saw the shock and fury come over his face. He squeezed her arm with such intensity that she winced. Then Red released her.

  Once she felt his grip loosen, May leapt up and ran outside, vomiting on the asphalt. And it was then that it all dawned on her, the realization set in. As she looked around, May could see nothing but open fields for miles. Terror shot through her like an electric shock. A single tear cascaded down her face. She must not cry. If he saw her cry, he would know how weak she was. And she knew that could be her death. Maybe actual death, possibly just torture. Thoughts flooded her mind. May knew now that, even as bad as it was, she should never have left home. She swallowed hard, but her throat burned from the bile. Panic set in even further, and she felt a sharp pain in her chest. It was the realization that she was at his mercy.

  Red followed her out.

  The night was black. The sounds of laughter and arguments drifted from inside the clubhouse.

  She shivered as she saw Red standing there watching, observing…scrutinizing. If only she could have a glass of water, but she dared not ask for one. May sat down on the cement stoop, her head in her hands, as her mind raced. What was Red thinking? What did he plan to do with her? How could she have been so stupid and naive to go with him? She’d believed him when he said that he would never force her. Well, he hadn’t, not yet. But she knew she’d hurt his pride. And she trembled to think of the price she might
pay for not allowing him to do as he pleased with her.

  Meanwhile, on the other side of the road, Red leaned against a tree and watched May, consumed with rage.

  Unresponsive bitch. She’ll fucking pay for this

  . Then he walked back inside. As he entered the clubhouse, his gaze fell upon her muslin bag curled up in the corner. The wrath consuming him must be vindicated. He stomped over and kicked her bag several times. Frustrated, he almost punched his fist through the wall until a smile came over his face. Why was he so upset? He was in control, not her. The stupid girl would be back inside in a few minutes. Even if she tried to get away, she was miles from the road and civilization. Even the nearest gas station was fifteen minutes away, and that was driving time.

  He would have her yet.

  Alone, surrounded only by darkness, at four in the morning, the fifteen-year-old girl sat on the asphalt. Somewhere in the black of night an owl hooted. May knew that she had to go back into the clubhouse. There was no other choice.

  Dear God, please let me be able to convince this man to take me back to the city tomorrow. Give me the right words to say, the words that will make him release me. Help me please, God.”

  Her first sexual experience must not be in this filthy garage with a man who repelled her. It just couldn’t be.

  As she re-entered the clubhouse, her legs felt like jello, and they buckled, barely able to sustain her weight.

  Glancing around the room, she remembered a game she’d played as a child. It was called “I Am Invisible.” When her parents would fight, she would lie in her bed and believe that if imagined herself invisible she would be, and that all of the pain of their arguments could not penetrate her wall of invisibility. “I am invisible,” she whispered, her heart still pounding with fear. “I am invisible.” Trembling, she walked over to the corner where her bag awaited her and took it into her arms, cuddling the bag as if it were the last remnant of a time gone by. A time of childhood, a time of innocence… A time never to return.