A Time of Anarchy- Mayan's Story

by Roberta Kagan

  He took her into his arms and held her tightly. She leaned her head against the cool leather of his jacket.

  “I’ll always listen, May,” Cricket said. A few tears fell from her eyes wetting his jacket.

  While she lay against him looking around the room at the magazines that had been strewn across the tables, the salesman came in and invited them into his office.

  Chapter 36

  The red Dodge Charger hummed along the busy street. It had been polished to a candy apple shine, and although it was two years old, the black interior had maintained its smell of leather. May smiled at Cricket as she rubbed the seat with her fingers.

  “Is it hard to get used to driving a car instead of a bike?” May asked. She smiled to herself. He looked good behind the wheel.

  “Nah, I drove a jeep a few times in the army.”

  “I never knew that.”

  “You never asked.”

  “Now why would I ask that?”

  “Beats me…” He laughed a little.

  “I like the car; it’s really nice. How about you?” May asked.

  “Yeah,” he said, nodding his head.

  “You don’t sound too happy.”

  “I’m happy; we made a good deal.” He lit a cigarette. “This is going to sound a little strange, but leaving my bike back there was like saying goodbye to a friend. I mean, I’ve had her since I was sixteen.”

  “Geez, Cricket, I’m sorry. You want to go back and change your mind?”

  “No, babe, it was time. I need to have a car instead of a bike now. It’s just more practical. And with winter coming and all, well…”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure. Besides, you look pretty pleased with the change.”

  “The truth is I am. I mean, it will be so much easier to go to the food store. It was such a pain in the neck to carry all those groceries home on the back of a bike. And we could never buy a lot because it was just impossible to get it all back to the apartment.”

  “Yep, and it makes me happy to see you so happy.”

  She smiled at him. “Are you sure you’re all right with this change?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure; it was my idea.”

  “Cricket?”

  “Yes?”

  “Can I ask you a favor?”

  “Sure… Anything, Babe.”

  “Can we go to the library?”

  “Yeah.” He laughed. “Is that all?”

  “And the food store too?”

  “Yep. We’ll do both. And we’ll load the trunk up with food and books.”

  She lit a cigarette. “It’s been a long time since I had a new book.”

  “You love to read, and that makes me laugh. I mean, why would you do that if you didn’t have to for school or anything?”

  “It’s funny Cricket, but books always took me out of my shitty life. I mean, when my folks were fighting and everything was a mess, or when I had to wear hand-me-downs to school that didn’t really fit, I could escape feeling like shit by going off into a book. Reading takes you places.”

  “I should try it, huh?” He laughed.

  “You should. You might be surprised how much you like it.”

  “You think so, huh? I can’t see me sitting around reading all day… It’s not my style.”

  “Okay, but maybe someday,” she said.

  “Hey, you know what?” he said. Then he winked and smiled.

  “What?”

  “You’re a real fox; you know that?”

  She laughed. “I’m glad you think so.”

  May showed Cricket around the library. And although she made suggestions of things he might like to read, in the end he wasn’t interested. But he waited patiently while she made her selections.

  Then they went to the food store and loaded the cart with enough food for an entire week, complete with a carton of cigarettes.

  Cricket put all groceries in the trunk and they headed home to the apartment.

  “You’re right; the car is a hell of a lot easier than the bike for hauling shit. I think I’m going to start really getting used to the convenience,” he said.

  Chapter 37

  If Cricket’s arms had not been filled with bags of food, the couple would surely have entered the apartment hand-in-hand, or worse, Cricket might have had his arm around May…and that would have been disastrous. But an angel was watching over them.

  Chapter 38

  Red was sitting on the sofa when May and Cricket opened the door. There was a bandage on his right shoulder. His face contorted in anger.

  “Red?” Cricket couldn’t hide the surprise in his voice. “You’re back a lot sooner than I expected.”

  Red looked at May but she could not meet his eyes. She was afraid that he would see what had happened between her and Cricket.

  “You guys brought a lot of fucking food,” Red said as he observed the bags.

  “Yeah,” Cricket said, not looking at Red. “Listen, I traded my bike in for a car.”

  “You did fucking what?”

  “I wanted a car, man. Just accept it.”

  “Cricket, you got rid of that bike? What the fuck, man?”

  “I don’t want to do that shit anymore. How many times do I have to tell you, Red? I don’t want to be a biker. The war and the army changed me. I want to get a job and a place of my own. I want to live a real life. Can you dig it at all?”

  “No! This is our life. We’re the Son’s of Rebellion, man; that’s who we are, you and me, since we was kids, and we formed this gang.”

  “Red, come on man; this is bullshit. We’re both getting older. Don’t you want some kind of real life?” Cricket glanced over at his brother. “Hey man, what happened to you? What the fuck is that bloody bandage on your shoulder?” Cricket asked.

  “We had a run in with the Brothers. Five of our men were shot down like cattle. Two of ‘em are dead. I had to leave them in the desert in Nevada. There was no way to bring them boys home. It was Louie and Moose. The others that was hurt, me included, rode home bleeding like pigs. I’m fucking mad, Cricket. The Brothers attacked us right after we got the smack. There was a shootout, but they got the drugs. We lost a lot of money and two of our own blood brothers. A fucking lot of money…”

  “Listen, let it go Red. This is only going to lead to an all-out gang war. You want that?”

  “I don’t give a shit. I want revenge.”

  “Shit,” Cricket said, and he sat down at the kitchen table. May listened, putting the groceries away as quietly as possible. “How much heroin did you guys have?”

  “Let’s just say plenty.”

  “Red, one of these days you’re gonna get arrested and sent back to prison. Is that what you want? Just be glad that all you got was an injury to your shoulder. Let it go, man.”

  “It’s not that easy. If we let this thing go, then the Brothers will think we’re pussies and that they can do whatever they want with us.”

  “Who the fuck cares what they think, Red?” Cricket shook his head.

  “You in? You gonna help your Brood brothers or not?” Red asked.

  May felt her breath catch in her throat. Her heart was pounding.

  “I’m done with fighting. I told you that when I got back from ‘Nam. After what I seen there, I don’t want it no more. Give them the drugs, and just fuckin’ forget about it. This can only end in no good,” Cricket said.

  “Don’t tell me my only brother is a coward. A fuckin’ yellow-belly coward.”

  “Call me whatever you want to, but I’ve seen too much death in my life, and I can’t handle any more.”

  “They shot me man…” Red said, and he stood up walking over to Cricket. “Don’t you give a fucking shit? They tried to kill me.” Red pulled his tee shirt back to better expose the bruised area around his gunshot wound. It was purple and red, with pus oozing out of the bandage. A putrid smell filled the air. May turned away, afraid she might vomit. “Doesn’t this make you want to fight? Look what they
did to me!”

  “I see it. But I also see that you’re alive, Red, and if we wage this all-out war, there is gonna be a hell of a lot more death.” Cricket got up and took a knife from the drawer. He cut the tee shirt away from Red’s injury. “Here, let me clean this up before this infection gets even worse.” Cricket soaked a clean dish towel in soapy water and began to remove the blood-soaked bandage.”

  “Saber took the bullet out. He cut me and pulled it out,” Red said.

  “Geez, Red, this is nasty. You should go to the hospital. I think you need an antibiotic,” Cricket said as he cleaned the infected wound.

  The smell from the infection was making May woozy.

  “I can’t go to no hospital. What the fuck am I gonna tell them, that I was playing with a gun and shot myself in the shoulder?” Red laughed, and then he winced with pain.

  “You need an antibiotic,” Cricket said. “Tell them whatever you gotta tell them, but go and get an antibiotic; otherwise you’re gonna get real sick.”

  “Fuck man. If you say so little brother, I’ll go.”

  “You better go; and if I were you, I’d go now.”

  “Well, I ain’t done with those motherfuckers. You can say you don’t want no part of it, and you can stay here and babysit the bitch, but the guys and me are gearing up for an all-out battle. We are gonna attack them on their own turf.”

  “Red.” Cricket shook his head. “I’m not going into any battle. I’ve been in enough battles to last a lifetime.”

  The color drained from May’s face.

  “Fuck man, think about it, okay? I’m doin’ what you told me to do. I’m goin’ to the hospital. The least you could do is think about backing your own.”

  Cricket shook his head. “I’ll think about it, but I can tell you now, my mind is made up. I’m not going to any battleground ever again.”

  Chapter 39

  After Red left for the hospital, May broke down. She began sobbing. Cricket went to her and took her into his arms.

  “Talk to me,” was all he said.

  “I’m afraid, Cricket. I am so afraid. If he finds out about us… Oh my God…” Her slender body was shaking.

  “Shhhhh. It’s okay. I don’t think he would take it as badly as you think.”

  “You won’t tell him? You promised.”

  “Not if you don’t want me to. I’ve told you that, May.”

  “I don’t; I don’t want him to know! Ever!”

  “Then I won’t tell him. Shhhh, Baby. Calm down. It’s cool. Everything is okay.”

  “And you aren’t going to get involved with this thing with the Evil Brothers, are you?”

  “Hell, no.” He smoothed her hair as he held her gently. “Don’t worry about that.”

  “Cricket, I want to leave. I want to run away… Let’s go to California. I feel like something bad is going to happen. I want to get the hell out of here now.”

  “Not yet. Give me a little time.”

  “Please Cricket, let’s go to San Francisco. We can get lost in the crowds. He’ll never find us. I can get a job, and so can you. Please, Cricket, please.” Her voice broke with desperation.

  “Is this what you really want?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, if you really want it that badly, then okay we’ll go. I promised you I would, and I will.”

  She felt a surge of hope rush through her. “Oh Cricket, you make me so happy. How soon?”

  He kissed her forehead. “Sooner than I originally thought. How about within the next couple of weeks? Red’s about to run off and start another World War. When he’s gone we’ll have plenty of time to get out. California, huh? I’ve been as far as Nevada, but California?” He smiled.

  “Yes, California.”

  “Hey, I hear there’s gold in them there hills,” he said, and they both laughed.

  He wiped the tears from her face with his thumb. “Let me get you some water. You scared me for a minute. You got so upset,” he said as he walked over to the sink and poured her a glass of water. He handed it to her and she sipped it slowly.

  “Do you have anything saved?” she asked.

  “Yeah, a few hundred dollars. And by the time we go, I’ll have a few weeks of work in, so that will give us more.”

  “I had some money from when I was working, but Red stole it all.”

  “Well, I could do something to get some extra…”

  “Like what?”

  “Sell a little dope and make a few bucks that would give us some extra cash to fall back on.”

  “What if you get caught?”

  “Then I’d end up in jail. But I’ve done it before. I’ll be careful.”

  “It’s not worth it, Cricket. Let’s just take what we have and get out of here.” May gazed up into his concerned brown eyes.

  “I want to do the right thing by you, May. I’m a man and it’s my responsibility to take care of you, my girl. I have to be able to do that. Let me think about it. Let me decide what’s best for us. It just seems to me that if we had a little more money we would have an easier start in California until I can get a job.” He touched her cheek gently with his fingers. Then he gazed into her eyes and smiled at her. Softly, tenderly his lips met hers, and she melted.

  Chapter 40

  All that day May cringed, knowing that she would share her bed with Red when the night came. After everything that had happened between her and Cricket, she wasn’t sure she could bear Red’s advances. When she thought of his hands on her body, she felt sick. But most of all, she was afraid that somehow he would instinctively know as soon as he touched her that she and Cricket were lovers. May told herself again and again that there was no logic to her fears. Still, they gave her anxiety, and still she believed that Red would sense something different in her. That he would magically know, and that would be the end of both her and Cricket.

  It was late when Red got into bed. He’d stayed up talking with Cricket, while May had gone to sleep early. She heard him as he opened the door to the bedroom, and her heart raced with nervous tension. First he went into the bathroom, and she listened as he ran the water. Soon, he would be right there beside her. She crossed her arms over her chest and clutched herself. Her teeth were chattering and she shivered. I must stop this, she thought; if I don’t he’ll know for sure that something isn’t right. I can’t risk him finding out. She rubbed her arms harder and tried to breathe deeply, biting her lip hard enough to draw blood and forcing her teeth to be still. Red came out of the bathroom and got into bed. May lay silent, concentrating on keeping her teeth from making noise. She tasted the salty blood as she listened to her own heart pound, and forced herself to take deep breaths. The familiar smell of Red, whiskey and sweat, wafted toward her. Involuntarily, her gag reflex responded.

  “Hey, Baby, are you okay?” Red asked.

  “Yeah, my stomach is a little sick. I think I ate something that was bad.”

  “I missed you,” he said. Red turned over and touched her arm.

  “Me too, Red.” She wondered what Cricket was thinking in the room just across the hall. Was he wondering if she and Red were making love, if you could call it making love? After being with Cricket and learning what real love was, she could no longer make believe that what she shared with Red was anything real or beautiful. It was nothing more than a man and a woman together in the physical sense. And for her it was not a pleasure, only an awful obligation.

  Red turned toward her and she heard him wince slightly. She was sure it was from the pain in his shoulder.

  “I mean I really missed you, little girl. I ain’t never felt like that over some chick,” he said.

  She could not answer; anything she said would be a lie and she was afraid he would detect the lie. May had lied to him already saying she missed him. It was best to be quiet before he sensed something.

  He hesitated for a moment. “I bet you really missed me, huh?”

  “Of course I did.” She tried to brush off his question with as qui
ck an answer as she could give. “Does your arm hurt?”

  “Yeah, a little. Nothin’ I can’t handle.”

  “Have you ever been shot before?”

  “Sure, plenty.”

  She didn’t believe him.

  “You know Red, I don’t mind waiting until your wound heals before we have sex. I mean, it might pull on your stitches, and that would make you have to go back to the hospital to fix them.” She mustered all of her courage to offer this suggestion. May prayed he would not take it the wrong way and fly into a fit of anger.

  “Sounds like you don’t want me…”

  “No, come on Red, that’s not it at all. I just don’t want you to have to start all over again with healing. I hate to see you in pain. If you can just be patient, you’ll be better really soon, and then we can be together.” She swallowed hard, the terror of lying to him made her palms cold and sweaty. This suggestion of hers could have one of two effects on Red, she thought. Either he would agree and she could have peace, or he would go crazy with rage. She held her breath, waiting to see which would occur.

  It seemed like an hour before he spoke, but it was in fact only a few moments. “Yeah, you’re right. If I pull these damn stitches out, then I’ve gotta start all over again. I’d rather get this thing healed. You could give me head, but I know your stomach is feeling sick, and I wouldn’t want you to puke on my cock. But when I’m done, Baby, you’ll see just how much I missed you.” He patted her arm gently. The tenderness in his touch surprised her.

  At least for now, she was free of Red’s appalling touch. She thought about telling Red she was pregnant, another lie. May felt like the spider web of her life was closing in on her. Still, if he thought she was having his baby, it might keep him off of her for a while, hopefully until she and Cricket left for California.

  Chapter 41

  May hardly closed her eyes. The entire night she thought of Cricket as she listened to Red snoring loudly. When Red got up in the late morning and dressed, she knew he was leaving for a while. She squeezed her eyes shut and lay on her side, waiting until she heard the key in the lock of the apartment door, and then she got out of bed. The rooms were quiet. She waited for ten minutes to be sure that Red was gone. Then she looked out the window for his motorcycle. It was not there. Quietly, she crept into Cricket’s room. He lay upon his bed. The radio played softly. May thought he was asleep. She didn’t want to disturb him, so she turned to go.