Renaissance Man

by M. Garzon

  “I don’t live in a bubble, Jaden. I have friends, I read. I know that what we share — what we are — is special.”

  “And yet, when I asked you to live with me, you were not delighted.”

  Our food arrived, defusing the slight tension, and the conversation turned to lighter things as we ate. Afterward, we drove back to the showgrounds to check on the horses. We walked hand-in-hand through the cool purple night. I nodded at a security guard before going in to check first Cal, then Hades.

  “I’m glad you’re not sleeping in a stall anymore, at least,” Jaden grumbled.

  “Someone should be sleeping here,” I groused. “He got a ribbon in a World Cup qualifier.” I closed the stall door and looked morosely over it at Hades.

  “Well, it won’t be you,” Jaden said, stepping up behind me. His arms snaked around me and he pulled me back against his chest. “I have plans for you,” he whispered in my ear.

  “Then it’s a good thing Karen’s husband is in town for the weekend, isn’t it?” I twisted in his arms and caught his surprised look. “I’m sharing a room with her, remember? Lucky for you, she’s gone to his hotel for the night. But don’t you have to work tomorrow?”

  “I’m going to take a day off.” I thought there was something grim about his face as he said it, but in the gloom, I couldn’t be sure.

  The show wasn’t running on Monday, so after feeding the horses I spent a relaxed morning with Jaden. We went for a walk around the lake and had a picnic lunch before returning to the showgrounds to lunge my horses and let them graze. I was in the tackroom hunting up a second lunge line for Jaden when Alex stopped by.

  “How’d it go last night, catnip?” I grinned at him.

  He shrugged. “It would’ve been more fun with you there.”

  Jaden strode in. His presence seemed to fill the small space, and his arm went around me possessively before he dropped a kiss onto my startled mouth. Jaden was quite demonstrative — I had his Latina mother to thank for that — but he was clearly marking his territory.

  “Jaden, you remember Alex?” I didn’t know whether I was more angry or amused.

  The guys nodded at each other. Alex was pale with shock, and I half-reached for him in concern.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  Alex tore his eyes away from Jaden and stared at me in consternation. “I thought... I mean, isn’t this guy your cousin?”

  I felt my stomach sink. “Not by blood,” I said carefully. “We’re only related by marriage.”

  “But you’re still related.” He started backing out of the tackroom, a look of frank horror on his face.

  “Alex, wait-”

  Jaden’s fingers tightened around my shoulder, preventing me from following. I turned my face up to him, distraught.

  “Let him go,” he said quietly.

  “You did that on purpose,” I whispered. I felt hollow.

  “It wasn’t my intention to hurt him.” His gaze was so sincere that I wrapped my arms around him and rested there, suddenly spent by it all.

  Jaden left after an early dinner, and I cocooned myself in the motel room with a bag of popcorn and the TV remote for company, prepared to watch enough comedies to keep the doldrums at bay. The thought of losing Hades was like a splinter in my brain, and it was all I could do to keep my attention diverted. I’d barely made a dent in the popcorn when there was a knock at the door.

  I brushed crumbs off myself before opening it to find Neil Donald standing there. My heart gave a kick. “Is Hades okay?”

  “The bugger tried to bite me today, so I’d say he’s feeling fine,” Neil said with forced joviality. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.

  “Here.” He thrust an envelope at me. “Regardless of what happens with the horse, this is yours. I think it covers all the shows.”

  As soon as he left I ripped open the envelope. Inside was a check for almost five thousand dollars. I staggered to a chair and dropped down limply. I examined the back of the check, then the front again, before noticing the scrawled notation, ‘Prize money – rider’s share’.

  When the shock had worn off enough I bounded to my feet and called Jaden. “Guess what?” I babbled the news excitedly while pacing the room until his lack of surprise aroused my suspicion. “Did you do something?”

  “I met him for a short, friendly conversation. That’s all,” he assured me. “I left on very good terms.”

  I should probably have felt indignant that he’d meddled in my affairs, but I didn’t. He’d merely done what I’d been too cowardly to do for myself.

  “Thanks,” I said quietly. I did a brief happy dance around the room before the splinter snagged again but, although I tossed and turned much of the night, I had to admit that small slip of paper helped soothe my distress.

  * * *

  My nerves went right back to jangling after Monica called the next morning.

  “The potential buyer would like to try Hades out today,” she said, stressing the word ‘potential’ as though that made things better. “Around three o’clock, all right?”

  Rage swept through me. “It has nothing to do with me, does it? So you can do it anytime you like,” I responded tersely.

  “Oh... well, I thought you’d be there,” Monica said uncertainly. “You’re his trainer.”

  “Sorry, I have plans for the day.” Plans to not kill anyone, which might be dashed if I were around Brittney when she touched my horse.

  I threw my phone on the bed with an inarticulate growl.

  Karen gave me a mild look. “Bad news?”

  “Brittney’s trying Hades.” I spat each word as though they tasted bad.

  “And I take it you’re not planning to attend?”

  I just looked at her.

  She sighed. “It’s not smart to burn bridges in this business, kid. Even if the Donalds sell, they could get another horse someday.”

  I sagged onto the bed. Karen was right. I knew it, and I knew that I was acting immature. Horses were a business, as Dec was always reminding me, and I had to start thinking of them that way. But I simply couldn’t do it. Horses were my life. Every thought I had of them was shrouded in layers of emotion. To me, Hades was a friend and partner with whom I’d traveled across rough, unknown terrain. We had bonded through mutual discoveries and learned interdependence. There was no dollar value for that.

  I set aside my despair and went to ride Cal and let him graze. At home he got time outside every day, loose in a paddock, which gave him a chance to just be a horse.

  Most modern horses’ lives are so very unnatural; instead of spending all their time meandering and grazing, they spend twenty-three hours a day confined to a small space — about the equivalent of a large closet for a human. When they’re taken out to be ridden or worked, every footstep, turn of the head, and change of balance is micro-managed. They can’t even scratch an itch on their backs if they want to. It was so vital to their physical and mental well-being to have some small moments of freedom, and although some show horses were deemed ‘too valuable’ to be allowed such interludes of sanity, it was something I’d never want my horses to do without. Unfortunately at shows turnout was impossible, so instead, I took them out on a leadrope and let them graze. It wasn’t the same, but it was a pleasant break for them.

  When I brought Cal back Hades looked at me expectantly. I hesitated. Of course, he wanted to go out, but I didn’t want to ride him — I wanted Brittney to get the full impact of what she was in for. And if I was being honest with myself, for once I didn’t want Hades relaxed and happy.

  Hades gave a nicker.

  “Oh, all right,” I muttered.

  After Hades had grazed I went in search of a late lunch. Alex was leaving the snack bar, dressed in breeches and a T-shirt.

  “Hey, catnip,” I greeted him.

  He gave me a preoccupied look but didn’t stop. “Hey. Sorry, I’ve, uh, got to go,” he muttered.

  I felt myself droop. I didn’t need any additional worri
es that day, but I felt quite sure that Alex’s new attitude was due to Jaden. I sighed. I could have used a friend that afternoon.

  I debated going back to the motel, but when the time came I couldn’t do it. I ended up spying instead. When Brittney arrived I skulked in the shadows of an empty stall in the next row. Brittney herself went in to get Hades, which was a surprise. Maybe Elise had the afternoon off. A moment later she staggered backward — Hades had probably shoved her, as was his wont.

  “Hey!” Her yell carried to me.

  Hades flung his head up, and it looked as though his ears were pinned. Yelling offended him. Brittney turned and started trying to lead him from the stall. He took a few steps before planting his feet. She turned and gave the lead shank a jerk. Hades rose immediately, rearing high above her. She stumbled backward and a thunk carried clearly through the calm air.

  I ran over. I rushed past Brittney, whose mother was helping her up, and slowed only as I stepped into the stall.

  “Easy, buddy,” I murmured. Hades’ head was still high, his eyes rolling. I was suddenly convinced that the experience had reminded him of Rodney’s. I couldn’t have said why; maybe it was the anxiety that poured off his body. “You’re all right, baby,” I said tenderly, stroking his neck. I made no attempt to grab the lead rope, just kept rubbing his neck and shoulder until he lowered his head and gave me a small nudge.

  “There you go,” I crooned. When I rubbed his forehead he dropped his head further. “Oh!” I exclaimed. Anger surged up inside me, but I backed away calmly before stalking out of the stall.

  “Good going, Brittney. You made him cut his head!”

  “I did! He’s a maniac,” she yelled at me. Brittney’s mom was fussing over her while Monica and Neil looked on in concern. Monica tore herself away and came over.

  “Is it bad?” she asked, peering into the stall over my shoulder.

  “It doesn’t look too deep, but the vet should look at it. The poll is a sensitive spot — it’s a bad area to hit.” The cut was on the top of his head, between his ears, but my main concern was the possibility of a head injury.

  “It looks like we’ll have to postpone,” Neil told Brittney apologetically. “Next time we’ll get him tacked up for you, okay?”

  Brittney shot me a venomous look before taking her mother’s arm and marching off. She passed Karen on the way.

  “What did I miss?” Karen asked. As Brittney’s trainer, she would normally have been present while Brittney rode a potential new horse, and I wondered whether her late entrance was intentional. I was back at Hades’ side, moving his halter away from the cut and probing gently around it for signs of swelling or pain while I gave Karen a rundown of the event.

  She sighed. “You know, if you’d gotten him ready this wouldn’t have happened. She never tacks up her own horses anyway.”

  I’d been having the same guilty thought, and I stayed with Hades until the vet came. When I led Hades out of his stall he rolled an eye suspiciously at the vet, who climbed onto a mounting block for the examination.

  “It is far from the heart,” the vet said cheerfully in a strong French accent. After quickly cleaning it, he stuck an oddly-shaped bandage over the wound. “To keep out the dirt.”

  “He has a jumper class tomorrow,” I said anxiously. “Will he be okay to compete?”

  “Mais oui,” he reassured me. “It does not even require stitches. If his behavior changes, call me.”

  “So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked Monica and Neil awkwardly. Neither of them looked happy, but they nodded.

  “Let’s go get some coffee,” Karen suggested. We left Hades crunching a carrot and took Karen’s car to Tim Horton’s. I got an iced cappuccino since the day was humid and hot, but Karen stuck with her regular black brew. I watched as she dumped a small mountain of sugar into it.

  She leaned back in her seat. “Mike thinks I should cut down on sugar,” she said. Mike was her rarely-seen husband. “But I’ve already quit drinking. Sugar and coffee are the only vices I’ve got left.” She grinned at me, and I smiled back. Our relationship had changed over the past year; she was still a demanding coach and mentor, but she treated me as an adult now, and as a friend.

  Her brown eyes assessed me. “What are you going to do about Hades?”

  I was startled by her question. “There’s nothing I can do,” I protested. “He’s not my horse.”

  “Your actions still have an effect, Téa. Look at what happened today. You could choose to make this transition as smooth as possible for Hades and be as helpful as you can to the Donalds, or you can fight it every step of the way. It won’t change the outcome, but it will change how everyone sees you, and whether they’ll want to deal with you in the future.”

  Her words were spoken matter-of-factly, but I hung my head, ashamed. “You’re right. I just... I don’t want to lose him.” My voice broke, and I cleared my throat, embarrassed. “I told you about not having a contract, right?” Karen had returned to our motel room during my brief post-check happiness.

  She repositioned her sunglasses on her short, sun-streaked brown hair and sighed. “I’ve seen it before with riders just coming out of the junior ranks. So many will work without a contract because they feel that if they refuse, there are twenty more just like them lined up to take their place. But in your case no one was lined up for Hades — he was a monster.”

  “They’ll line up now, though,” I said miserably.

  “Maybe.” Karen eyed me thoughtfully. “How long has it been since anyone else got on him?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Neil wanted to ride him about a month ago, but I talked him out of it.” Yet another reason a contract would have been smart, I thought ruefully. “Um, I guess it’s been almost two years.”

  “Well then, Brittney may be in for a rough ride. I tried to change her mind, you know,” Karen said gently. “She’s a strong rider, but she doesn’t have your light touch, and that’s what Hades likes.”

  Nine

  Hades seemed perfectly normal the next day, but I checked with the vet anyway before preparing to ride. When the vet laughed and called me a mother hen I felt confident that my horse was fit for his class. It wasn’t a big one because I was saving his energies for the next Grand Prix on the last day of the show.

  We breezed around the course and won the class. “Uh-oh,” Karen said as we emerged from the ring. “Looks like his cut opened up.”

  I walked Hades to a quieter area and dismounted. Maybe he’d rubbed his head on something — though I hadn’t noticed him do it — because the bandage was gone and the cut had reopened slightly. A small trickle of blood flowed into the white stripe on his forehead. His face was sweaty and the blood had smeared, making it look much worse than it was, but the cut itself looked fine.

  I gave him a reassuring pat. “Let’s get you cooled off.” I started walking.

  “Speaking of which,” Karen said, falling into step next to me, “I may have found you a groom.” She motioned a woman over to us. Blond hair fell in curls to her shoulders, and she looked at Hades before she did me. I liked that.

  “My, he is a big boy, isn’t he?” She turned and held out her hand and I halted Hades to take it, meeting friendly blue eyes. “I’m Tania.”

  “Téa.”

  Tania smiled. “Oh, I know who you are. Do you want me to take him?” she offered. I hesitated, but then figured this was a good test.

  “He’s a bit of a handful,” I warned, handing the reins over. I stood still as they began walking. Hades turned his head to look for me and planted his feet when he realized I wasn’t coming. Tania tried to encourage him forward, and he gave her an irritated shove.

  “Can I push him back?” Tania asked. I appreciated that she checked first.

  “Sure thing — he kind of expects it, in fact.”

  Tania gave Hades a little push. “Come now, none of that. Let’s get you cleaned up, and then you can have some nice hay,” she said in a no-nonsense tone. Hades pricked h
is ears, gave one last look at me, and followed her.

  I grinned over at Karen. “She might just work out.”

  “She’s very good. We’re lucky she quit her last job.”

  I showed Tania where everything was and then helped her take care of Hades. Afterward, we went to find the Donalds and I introduced Tania as a Hades’ new groom. They were pleased that we’d found someone, and she left amongst handshakes and congratulations. I turned back to the Donalds, uncomfortable. They were thrilled with our win that afternoon, although the class hadn’t yielded much money, because it boded well for Sunday’s class with its one hundred thousand dollar purse.

  “Monica, Neil,” I said, making myself meet each of their gazes in turn. “I’m sorry about the way I’ve behaved. The next time Brittney or anyone else comes to ride Hades, I’ll be there to help.”

  Monica’s face softened, and I reached out to pat Taffy, ensconced in today’s zebra-stripe bag with matching bow. After a minute Neil nodded.

  “I have to tell you, though, that if you wait until next year, you could get a lot more money for him,” I said. “We’re just starting to see what he can do. Once he’s winning consistently you’ll have your choice of buyers.”

  Neil passed a hand thoughtfully over his balding head. “I think we’ll be hanging on to him for at least a little while.”

  Relief made my steps light for the rest of the day, even though Alex barely nodded at me when I passed him. I was still feeling good the next morning as Tania helped me tack up Cal, but apparently, my sunny outlook wasn’t shared by all. There seemed to be an odd mood prevailing on the showground, and several times I noticed people put their heads together and whisper as we walked by.

  Karen was at the stable when I got back from riding.

  “Was there a memo to be moody today?” I asked her as I hopped off. I had barely pulled the reins over Cal’s head when Tania materialized.

  “I’ll take him,” she said cheerfully.