by M. Garzon
The first blast hit him right in the head. He gave an inarticulate yell, but I braced my feet and kept the water on him. He didn’t react the way I expected, though. Instead of dodging or trying to flee, he walked straight into the spray. I backed up, moving the jet up and down his body, but he was on me in a few strides. He seized my wrist and took the hose out of my hand.
“You’re in for it now,” he said grimly. He turned the hose on me.
“Aaah!” I shrieked and danced away but his steel grip was on my wrist, and I had the end of Cal’s leadrope in my other hand so I couldn’t escape. Cal tossed his head up and snorted. He liked water, but he’d never seen it used as a weapon before.
“Wait,” I spluttered, unable to see, “Cal!”
When the assault stopped I heard giggling behind me and turned to see Catherine and several of my students looking on gleefully as I dripped everywhere.
“Can one of you girls take Cal?” Jaden asked. Catherine stepped forward, grinning as she took the sodden leadrope from me.
The minute my hands were free Jaden swooped down and heaved me onto his shoulder. I heard gasps from our entourage, but he ignored them and marched away.
“Put me down!” I demanded. This was exactly not the way I wanted to be seen by my students and employee. Jaden didn’t slow. Water dripped onto his booted heels from my upside-down hair.
I reached down and smacked his solid butt with one hand. “Jaden! Put me down.”
“Do that again and I’ll double it on your small ass,” he growled. We entered a shaded area and I was set unceremoniously on my feet. I barely had time to note that we were between the shed and the hedge that ran behind it before Jaden advanced on me. Startled, I backed into the wall. He stopped with barely an inch between our wet bodies. My eyes traveled from the shirt clinging to his muscled chest, up his corded neck, and over the droplets bejeweling his chin. His mouth, pressed into a firm line, made my insides tighten, and I tipped my head back to find his spiky lashes surrounding tawny eyes that burned straight into mine. I froze. I could feel his breath on my face, the heat from his body caressing me like fingers. A tremor passed through me.
“If I could get you alone for an hour I would make you pay for this in unimaginable ways,” he breathed.
“A whole hour.” I swallowed; I barely had breath to speak. “You must have a lot planned.”
“You have no idea.”
“We could go to our copse,” I suggested.
He hesitated. “Not today.”
I was struggling not to touch him, not to fling my arms around him and press myself into him. “Why not?”
“Do you realize that we resolve every disagreement by falling into bed?”
I was incredulous. “How is that a problem?” I bit my lip, staring at his mouth, and tried not to imagine it on my skin.
A shimmer of amusement crossed his expression. “Why do I feel we have a case of role reversal at play here?” He bent his head slowly, until it hung right next to mine, still without touching. “I can’t believe you sprayed me in anger.”
I was going to make a joke, but what came out of my mouth instead was, “I can’t believe you fought me over following my dream.” My sense of betrayal strangled my voice down to a whisper. “You told me once you never wanted to keep me down.”
He pulled back a few inches, enough for me to meet his volcanic gaze. “I don’t want to keep you down, Téa. I want to keep you close — I hope you can see the difference.”
He leaned further away, and suddenly I couldn’t stand the space between us. I reached for him, twining my hands behind his neck and plastering my wet body against his. His heat seared through our layers of clothing; I expected clouds of steam to rise around us at any moment. His mouth settled on mine with a groan and he kissed me ardently, holding my head in his hands. When he stopped he pressed his forehead against mine.
“Well, I can honestly say that I’m sorry to be going,” I offered in a thready voice.
“We’ll resume where we left off when you get back,” he promised. He was referring to more than the kiss, of that I was sure.
* * *
I decided to bring Cal to Orangeville. I’d already spent more money than I’d planned on showing him that year, but it was the only way to keep him in training. Karen had been right in predicting that the furor over Hades’ picture would be forgotten, and other than Alex’s icy silence, the show was ideal. Hades won two classes, and I got home Sunday night in high spirits despite my tiredness. The next day I visited Teri, who was back at her parent’s house and looking better, before taking the money I’d won and buying more paint. I spent two incredibly boring days painting fencing, sending Seth increasingly irate text messages, and counting down the minutes until I’d see Jaden. We’d talked while I was away but we hadn’t discussed our fight, nor the fissure in our relationship, which seemed to crack wider and wider with every little bump we hit. It petrified me, and I’d dealt with the fear by ignoring it, but I knew we couldn’t go on this way.
Jaden’s car pulled into the driveway earlier than I’d expected, and I dropped my paintbrush and jogged over. He got out, loosening his tie, and froze at the sight of me.
“Hi,” I said breathlessly.
His smile was like a sunrise. “I’d hug you, but... well, have you seen yourself?” I glanced down at my paint-smudged clothes.
“It’s giving me ideas,” Jaden said, his voice husky.
“Everything gives you ideas.” I laughed before racing off to put away my supplies and have a shower. I bounded down the stairs, still toweling my hair, and found Jaden on the couch next to Dec, watching the news.
“I’m going to get some take-out.” Jaden unfolded his lean body from the couch. “Come with me.”
“How’s work?” I asked as I buckled my seat belt. He’d been working late the previous few days. I was determined to maintain an interest in his work, no matter how boring his current job was compared to polo.
He grimaced. “As good as can be expected. I’m stuck inside all day doing meaningless paperwork.”
“But isn’t it challenging?”
“If you consider it challenging to build resistance to overwhelming tedium, then yes. I deal with office politics more than I’d like, but I suppose it’s the same everywhere.” Since I knew less than nothing about office politics, I refrained from comment. I told him about the show before moving on to barn gossip.
“Have you heard? Mateo and Summer broke up.” Jennalyn had shared that tidbit.
“No, I hadn’t. I’ve been out of the loop.”
“Well, you know Mateo’s handicap has gone up to six,” I said. Jaden’s expression tightened. The fact that Mateo’s polo ranking was rising while Jaden’s own was dropping surely rankled. “He wants to go to Argentina this fall, and spend the winter in Florida so he can hit all the big matches and keep boosting his ranking. I guess Summer wasn’t ready to go with him.”
Jaden nodded in understanding. “Summer has a very comfortable life here. I can’t imagine her following Mateo around for the sake of his career.”
I frowned. “I guess Mateo hoped that she would. He thought she loved him.”
“I’m sure she does, in her own way. Not everyone is as brave as you are, Téa.”
“I’m not brave,” I said in a small voice. “I’m terrified... of losing you.”
He reached over and gripped my hand. “That will never happen, querida. We’ll figure out a way that works for us.” There was a beat of silence. “And despite what you think, you’re one of the most fearless people I know. Teri’s accident hasn’t even given you pause.”
I studied the long-fingered hand in mine. I traced each one of his fingers, from the knuckle down to the nail, as I spoke.
“I’m just not afraid of the same things as most people.” I swallowed hard, wondering how to explain without sounding either crazy or maudlin. My voice was very quiet when I began.
“My mom died when she was only thirty-five. She
died after spending her whole adult life working to take care of me and my brother. She never got the chance to do all those things she was saving for ‘someday’, the things she’d do when we were grown up, when she had enough money, when she had the time... those things never happened.” I cleared my throat. “I’m not afraid to die, Jaden, but I’m petrified to not really live while I have the chance.”
I met his gaze carefully, feeling the sheen of tears over my eyes. His fingers tightened around mine, and his face was stunned and dismayed all at once.
“That’s why all this talk about marriage and kids... it throws me for a loop,” I admitted. “It’s nowhere near where my head is at.” Jaden’s brows went up, but he didn’t interrupt, so I bumbled along. “Think back a few years, Jaden. When you were eighteen, you left everything behind — your friends, your family, even your country — to chase your dream, and you did it. You kicked polo ass. No one and nothing can ever take that away from you. The confidence and happiness you derived from it are woven into your very being. And polo, I might point out, is probably a more dangerous sport than riding jumpers.”
We were at the restaurant; he parked the car and turned to face me before answering. “You’re right. But being afraid for your safety is so much worse than worrying about my own.”
I nodded. I understood that part.
“And in any case, the more immediate issue is that we barely see each other.” He rubbed the side of his face. “At least you’ll be back in school soon. Our schedules are bound to sync up better then.” I bit my lip. I’d been thinking seriously about quitting school, but now didn’t seem like the time to mention it.
We were both quiet on the drive back, the smell of Chinese food filling the car and making my mouth water. After dinner Jaden helped me finish packing; I was leaving the following morning for the show, and since he had to work he couldn’t stay overnight.
“We have unfinished business,” I reminded him, running my hand down his chest and over his stomach, feeling the outline of his muscles under my fingers. I still couldn’t believe how he’d left me hanging after the incident behind the shed.
He braided his fingers through my hair and pulled me close before whispering in my ear, “And it will remain unfinished until you return.” And then he pulled me, indignant and frustrated, to his car to say goodbye.
Angelstone was only two hours away, but it wasn’t close enough to go home every day so I stayed at a motel again. Getting a camper of my own would be a great idea, I mused as I checked in the next day.
The weather had cooled, and Tania got Hades ready for his first class while I walked the course with Karen. Brittney was on Karen’s other side, pretending I didn’t exist. She was riding George, the Nation’s Cup winner, in the class, and I wondered how Hades would fare against a world-class jumper like him.
Not well, that’s how. Hades and I had a disagreement over a distance — he saw it long, I wanted to go wide and put in another stride — and we ended up in that awkward in-between spot and knocked down a rail. I was surprised he didn’t plow through the entire jump, considering, but it cost us the class. Tania gave me a look of sympathy as she took Hades, but Karen shook her head at me and frowned. I was pretty sure I’d be getting an earful from her later, but even that couldn’t be as bad as watching Brittney go after me.
It’s hard to have a big ego as a rider because horses are great equalizers. If you ride a variety of horses in a variety of situations, chances are good that you’ll eat dirt regularly enough to keep you humble. But Brittney wasn’t that kind of rider; although she was competing at a high level, she had ridden a succession of ultra-expensive, push-button horses. She was a decent rider, but she had a wildly inflated idea of her own skill. I saw her bring George into a combination way too slowly, and he lengthened stride gamely and got himself out of it without any help from Brittney. I turned away, shaking my head in disgust. She’d be in the ribbons without having done anything to earn it.
Neil fell into step with me as I headed back to the stables. “I was talking to another trainer,” he said. I suppressed a groan. It wasn’t considered diplomatic to talk to other people’s clients but some trainers did it. And in all likelihood, the trainer full of free advice wanted Hades for him-or-herself.
“He said this bitless bridle business is nonsense at Hades’ level,” Neil went on. “He said you could’ve won that class if you’d had a bit.”
“Neil, I tried half a dozen bits on Hades last year. He didn’t go well in any of them,” I reminded him.
I thought that was the end of it, but when we were alone later Karen seemed to agree.
“I’m just saying, don’t be married to one type of tack. The classes you’re riding in are going to get bigger and faster, and you’ll be in more jump-offs. You may need something stronger than the bitless bridle, something with more precise control.”
I hesitated. Karen was a good mentor, and in most things horse-related I took her word as law. She had proven time and again that she understood horses on a very deep level. If it weren’t for her former substance abuse problems, I was certain that she would have reached the very pinnacle of our sport.
I chose my words carefully. “I don’t know Karen, Hades really hated bits before. I don’t want him to lose trust in me.”
“He’s not going to mistrust you based on one ride. Why not just give it a try?”
Out of respect for Karen’s judgment, which was nearly always right, the next time I schooled Hades I chose a simple D-ring snaffle from Karen’s collection. It was a mild bit, inoffensive to most horses. I saddled him myself, unclipped the lead rope, and slipped the reins over his head. As I raised the bridle Hades’ eyes went wide. He’d obviously noticed, and he gave me a look that said it all.
Not this again! Haven’t we been through this? Did I not make myself clear?
“Come on buddy, just try it... for me?” I coaxed his mouth open, gently raised the bit, and slipped the bridle over his ears, not an easy feat as he had raised his head in protest and he was much taller than me — his ears were out of my reach unless he deigned to lower his head.
“Come on, it won’t be so bad, I promise.” I adjusted all the straps to make him as comfortable as possible and led him to the perimeter of the schooling area, away from the other horses. I began warming up doing simple transitions and trotting circles, but Hades was tense, obviously unhappy. And the more I worked, the more unhappy he got. He was taking this personally. I sighed. I should have known. When he started grinding his teeth and whipping his tail from side to side I gave up. I slowed to a walk, dropped the reins and patted his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, big guy. You’re right, we had a deal and I won’t go back on it.”
My conversations with Neil and Karen left me determined to prove myself, and Hades must have felt the same because we came in second in our next class. It was a two-star class, meaning it counted in the world rankings, and Neil was downright gleeful when he found me in the tackroom with Karen afterward. I was cross-legged on a tack trunk, slurping an iced coffee.
“Guess where the top horses are headed next? Spruce Meadows!” I’d never seen Neil so excited. “I want Hades there too. Monica entered him a month ago, hoping he’d qualify.”
Karen and I exchanged a stunned look. “Spruce Meadows — you realize that’s near Calgary, right? It’s the other end of the country,” I said.
“Hey, if you wanna run with the big dogs, you gotta go to the big dog park.”
While I was trying to figure out what that meant, Karen spoke up. “When we go to Spruce Meadows it should be for the North American tournament, not the Masters. Hades isn’t ready for international competition yet.”
“Well, I think he’ll do great,” Neil blustered, puffing out his chest.
Karen gave me an exasperated look that said clearly, “Manage your client”.
I turned to Neil. “We don’t want to overface the horse so early in his career. We could ruin his confidence.”
“His? Or his rider’s?” Neil demanded, his face pugnacious.
I felt myself redden and stood up, hands fisted at my sides. “I have no problem riding him in the Masters. But don’t expect him to perform like a seasoned veteran, because he isn’t one.”
“Excellent,” Neil said, rubbing his hands together.
After Neil left Karen shook her head at me tiredly. “You need to disconnect that wire between your temper and your mouth, Téa.”
I shrugged. “I know. But how could I pass up the chance to ride at Spruce Meadows?”
“Look, kid, you’ll get there, but you’re getting thrown in at the deep end this way.” She sighed. “Well, it could be worse. I’m bringing other clients, and we can enter Hades mostly in the Champions’ Welcome classes.”
“What’s that?”
“They have a tournament right before the Masters, just to ease the international riders into it.”
I gulped. “The international riders. Right.”
Karen shot me a grin. “Hey, you wanted to experience Spruce Meadows. Buckle up.”
* * *
Teri was the first person I told, when I went to her house the day after the show.
“Wow, Spruce Meadows. You have hit the big time.” She grinned at me. Three weeks after the accident, the bruises had mostly faded from her face. Her nose was a bit bumpier than before, and her broken shoulder and ribs were still bandaged, but she could move around on her own. We were slouched on the flowered couch in her parent’s small living room.
“I’m starting physio soon,” she said.
“That’s good.” I paused as Teri’s mom bustled in with smoothies for both of us.
“She doesn’t think I eat enough so she packs these full of calories,” Teri said, holding up her glass.
“And you both need them,” Teri’s mother stated tartly. She disappeared upstairs.