Seeking Shadows (Royal Bastards MC Tampa Chapter Book 3)

by K E Osborn

  Shadow walks out from the kitchen carrying another tray of wings and hands them to Frank. “Geez, Frank, I swear if you have a heart attack, your family can’t come at us for compensation for blocking your arteries…” Shadow spots me then gives me a wink.

  “Darlin’, my arteries are already fucked. I may as well go out a happy man, eatin’ whatever the hell I want. Hand me the hot sauce, will ya?”

  Shadow rolls her eyes, sliding Frank over the sauce. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Scar, can we order one of those portable defibrillators so when Frank here keels over, we’re ready for him?”

  Everyone chuckles, including Frank.

  “I ordered one a couple months back. I’ve been watching where this is heading for Frank. It’s in the breakroom.”

  Everyone laughs again as Frank munches down on his wings.

  Shadow makes her way over to me with a pep in her step. I love the family atmosphere she has created for herself here.

  And I hate that I’m about to rip it all away from her.

  She steps in front of me, waggling her brows. “Couldn’t keep away from me, huh?”

  “Couldn’t even if I tried…” My eyes shift from hers in regret. I don’t even know how to broach this with her. Her hand comes out, resting on my forearm, and I look up at her.

  “You okay?” she asks full of concern.

  Apprehension overtakes me, but I know I need to do this. I have to get her and Cruz back to the safety of the club as soon as possible. “Can we talk?”

  She hesitates. A sudden wave of panic washes over her face. “Yeah… are we okay?”

  My eyes shift around the bar. Everyone is watching us, the scene instantly making me uneasy. I turn back to face her, then tilt my head toward the hall. “Can we go to the break room?”

  Her nostrils flare, her face paling.

  Scarlett lets out an overzealous scoff, letting me know she isn’t impressed.

  Shadow spins on her heels and heads down the bar for the break room. I stand and follow with the eyes of everyone in here on us.

  She enters the room first. As soon as I’m inside, she closes the door behind me and folds her arms over her chest in defiance. “So what? What is this, Dash? You breaking this off? Because of Cruz? Why? Why are you doing this now that my son has formed an attachment to you, you fucking asshole!” She rushes forward, shoving me in the chest.

  If only it were that simple.

  She turns, storming away from me in anger, pacing the break room floor. I stand back trying to figure out how I am about to shatter her safe little world, the one she has created for herself and her son.

  “Shadow… I’m not ending us, far from it.”

  She spins back to face me, a slight gleam of hope in her eyes until she spots the despondency in mine. She throws her hands in the air in frustration. “Then what? What has you looking like I killed your puppy?”

  Stepping off from the wall, I grab her shoulders forcing her to look at me. Her eyes meet mine, my breathing comes faster as I grit my teeth. “I did something.”

  “Okaaay?”

  “I thought I was doing the right thing.”

  Her eyes widen as she breaks away from my grip, and she takes a step back. “Dash… what. Did. You. Do?”

  I step forward to reach for her, but she takes a step back with determination written across her face.

  “I wanted to know more… I needed to know more.”

  Her face contorts, and she starts backing away, fear now etched in her features, her eyes wide as saucers. “Tell me you didn’t!” The sheer panic on her face almost cripples me.

  I’ve done this to her.

  “Shadow, I wanted to be able to help you. To protect yo—”

  “Did they see you? Tell me, Dash, do they know you were looking?” Her tone comes out almost irate as she tries to hold back her tears.

  Slowly, I bob my head in confirmation.

  Her entire body sags like she is going to collapse, and I rush forward, grabbing hold of her as she begins to cry. “How could you be so fucking selfish? Oh, God! Oh, God.” Her eyes widen, and she stands, stumbling a little as she goes. “I have to go to, Cruz… if he finds him… Dash, what have you done?” She shrieks, turning and runs for the door. I reach out grabbing her arm to halt her. Shadow turns back, anger flowing through her veins so furiously they protrude from her flesh as she opens her palm and slaps me hard across the face. “Don’t you ever, ever… come near my son or me again. You’ve done enough damage!” She yanks her hand from me and races off through the bar.

  I take off behind her as she grabs her bag from under the counter.

  Scarlett focuses on me as Shadow runs for the front door. “What the hell did you say to her, you asshole?”

  “I’m gonna fix it. Trust me, Scarlett, I’m gonna look after her,” I yell back before I race out onto the street. Shadow is already in her car, the engine started and tires spinning to head home, I can only assume. I run to my bike and follow her to ensure I get her and Cruz back to the safety of the club with me.

  It’s imperative.

  Vital.

  There is no other action that can be taken.

  This is my fault.

  The burden mine to bear.

  I must keep Shadow and Cruz safe.

  At. All. Costs.

  Because if I can’t, then Shadow and Cruz will take off, and I will never see them again. They will be without protection, and the Order will most likely find them, and I don’t want to even think about those consequences.

  So, I need to protect them.

  Even if she hates me for it.

  Chapter Seventeen

  SHADOW

  I can’t believe this is happening!

  I have spent four years in fear of this precise moment.

  That the Order—that fucking Tyler would find our location.

  I’ve been so careful with everything. I haven’t dated, I haven’t even shown any interest in men because I knew something like this would happen.

  I am sooo fucking stupid.

  I’ve put not only myself, but more importantly Cruz, in danger, not to mention Iris. She’ll be on Tyler’s hit list too. I don’t even know where to start with how fucking angry I am at Dash. I specifically told him not to do anything.

  Driving like hell to get home, I think of all the plans Iris and I made for if this moment should it arise. We have pre-packed emergency bags ready to run with. I just don’t know how this will be for Cruz. He’s so settled into a routine, and I hate pulling him away from his home.

  But we have no other choice.

  We have to leave.

  We’ve been compromised.

  We knew this was a possibility.

  That this day would come.

  Pulling my car to an abrupt stop, I yank open my door, slamming it shut, and I hear the roar of Dash’s Harley rumbling down the road. I don’t wait for him. He can take a long walk off a short pier for all I care right now. I rush to the entry, up the stairs toward my apartment, my pulse beating rapidly, hoping like all hell that Cruz and Iris are safe.

  That Tyler isn’t already here.

  Oh, God!

  As I grab the keys from my bag, they rattle as I fumble to get them in the lock.

  Somehow, I manage, and shove the door wide open to the sounds of the television on low and the room dimly lit. I let out a small whimper as I rush in, but as I go to close the door, a foot stops me from closing it. My heart leaps into my throat as I look up to see Dash. I relax, but only a little, as I turn my lip up at him. “You’re not welcome here!”

  He pushes the door open, walking inside anyway as Iris turns the television off, standing abruptly. “Everything okay, dear?”

  I shut the door quietly so I don’t wake Cruz. “No. This asshole did some digging and now the Order has been alerted that someone was searching for them in Tampa…” My breathing is so rushed now with anxiety I feel like I am going to pass out. “We need to leave, Iris, it’s too risky for
us here.”

  Dash widens his eyes. “She knows?” he asks.

  “Iris has been with me since I ran. She helped me with Tyler when I left. He’ll be after her, too. So, we need to leave. Now! All three of us. And you! You need to forget you ever saw us.”

  He steps up to me, grips my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. “Can’t do that, Shadow.”

  I scoff. “It’s not up to you, Dash. You fucked it all up when you specifically ignored my instructions. Now move! We have to get out of here, stat.”

  I go to push past him, but he keeps his hold firmly on me. “I’m not letting you run, Shadow. Any of you.”

  “Right, like you have any sort of say in the matter!”

  He throws his hands in the air. “I caused this! I will fix this. I can’t let you run because they’ll find you. If their aim is to kill you, Shadow, they fucking will. I don’t want that. You mean too much to me.”

  His words hit right where they were meant to, and I soften briefly before anger strikes me again. “No! I can’t stay. I can’t fight. What the hell am I meant to do, Dash?”

  He grips my hand, looking me in the eyes. “You come to the clubhouse. I already have permission from my president. The room is already set up for you and Cruz to stay. You come and you’ll be protected by the club… by me. We won’t let anyone or anything near you. I swear.”

  I shove off him and start pacing. “You can’t promise me that. Tyler, he’s crafty. If he found you hacking into his servers, he’ll know where your club is, and that is now the least safe place for us.”

  “Voltage has his IP address pinging all over the place. I won’t go into all the geeky details, but he’s well hidden. He has to be. There’s no way they’ll track our exact location, just that someone was looking. I promise, they don’t know where the clubhouse is located.”

  I throw my hands in the air. “If they don’t know where the hack came from, then do I really need to hide at all?”

  His somber eyes meet mine. “It’s better to be safe than sorry, Shadow. I don’t want anything to happen to you or Cruz. I couldn’t fucking stand it.”

  I slump down into the sofa as Iris moves over to sit next to me, she reaches out, grabbing my hand. “My darling girl, all that matters is the safety of our boy in there. He’s who you need to be thinking about right now. Not your anger toward Dash. If the club can offer you protection, can offer Cruz protection from Tyler, then you bet your ass you’re going with him.”

  My bottom lip quivers as I stare at the woman who has become like a mother to me. “I don’t know what I’ll do if he finds us, Iris.” A fat tear falls down my cheek, and she leans in, wiping it away.

  “Oh, honey, we’ve evaded him for four years. We can keep doing it. That boy in there will never know his father. Not as long as you and I have anything to do with it.”

  “And me, too. I swear, Shadow, I won’t let Tyler get anywhere near Cruz,” Dash softly adds over my shoulder.

  I turn to look at him, wiping my face as I do. “If this backfires and my son is hurt in any way, Dash—”

  “I’ll guard him with my life. You have my word.”

  I turn to Iris, who gives me a reassuring nod, and I inhale deeply to calm my nerves. “Okay, on one condition.”

  Dash moves around in front of me then kneels at my feet. “Anything.”

  “I can’t have half-naked women running about the club and whatever explicit shit goes on there with Cruz around.”

  “I’ve already had that discussion with the president. It’s taken care of.”

  A warm feeling flows through me that he’s thought of everything for our arrival into the club. I’m mad as hell at him, and I honestly have no clue if I can get past the fact this has happened, but for the sake of Cruz, we need to go with him, as much as it pains me.

  “Fine, but I need you to protect us at the club, Dash. I don’t want people sleazing in on me or anyone going anywhere near Cruz.”

  His eyes close and then open slowly like he’s disappointed in me. “We’re not fucking perverts and miscreants, Shadow. You’re there with me, my brothers will respect that. Respect you. I don’t know what you’re expecting, but a bunch of assholes hitting on you is not it.”

  My eyes fall from his as I roll my shoulders. “There with you?”

  “As my girl.”

  I snort out a laugh. “I’m not your girl, Dash. You blew that chance when you looked into the Order against my explicit instructions. Whatever we were, wherever we were headed, that’s over.”

  His green eyes dull and drop away from mine. It’s like I’ve shattered a piece of his soul. He stands, taking a step away from me. “I understand. You should pack… we need to leave.” He turns and heads for the kitchen to put some distance between us. The pull as he walks away is like the force of a magnet finally breaking apart.

  It’s painful.

  Almost unbearable.

  But it’s the only way.

  Iris reaches out grabbing my hand. The gesture soothing in a way. “Shadow, you should go easy on him. It’s plain to see you both have chemistry. He adores you, he’s great with Cruz, and above all else, he wants to protect you both. Don’t be so quick to dismiss what you have with him.”

  “He put us in danger. He was reckless.”

  “Only because he was trying to protect you to start with,” she exhales. “You’re being too hard on him, but it’s not my place to tell you what to do, or how to live your life. I’m just a bystander watching you make a mistake.”

  “You always were forthright with what you think. I’ll take it under advisement… you better go pack. We need to leave soon.”

  Iris shakes her head, gripping my hand tighter. “My darling, we need someone here. Someone to figure out if our cover is truly blown.”

  I stare at her in shock. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying… I’m staying.”

  I shake my head adamantly as I shift closer to Iris. “No… no! No way, you have to come with us. We need you!”

  Her hand comes up smoothing my hair down the side of my face. “Shhh… it’s okay, Nova. You’re okay.” Hearing her call me by my real name does something, it’s soothing me somehow. My bottom lip trembles as her kind, old eyes meet mine. “We need to know. We need to know for sure if we’ve been blown. The only way to do that is for one of us to stay.”

  “Then I’ll stay. You go with Cruz to the clu—”

  “He needs his mother. I’m old, and anyway, I’ll cramp your style at the clubhouse.”

  Tears prick at my eyes. “If Tyler finds you…”

  “He’ll kill me? Maybe… but we trained for this, Shadow. I know the exits. We have cameras in my room down the stairwell. I’m set up. If he comes, I’ll be able to inform you, then you and Cruz… and Dash, can get out of here.”

  “How am I supposed to do this without you?”

  She leans in planting a kiss on my forehead. “Because you now have an entire motorcycle club backing you. You’re strong, Shadow. You can beat this. Now go, pack your things. I’ll get Cruz’s belongings ready, then we can say a proper goodbye.”

  Wiping my nose with the back of my hand, I nod. “I love you.”

  “Oh, my darling, I love you too. Now, please, go.”

  I stand from the sofa, the weight of the world raining down heavily on me. But as I walk past Dash, he looks at me with sympathy. He must have heard the entire conversation. I continue past him into my bedroom and grab my emergency luggage from the closet. I wheel it out, then grab an overnight bag, piling essentials into it. A shadow appears in the doorway, I glance up and Dash is standing there. He walks in taking a seat on the edge of my bed but says nothing as he watches me pack.

  Anger washes over me again.

  The thought of having to leave Iris behind infuriates me.

  “Did you hear all that?” I grunt out.

  He simply nods.

  Sniffling, I slam my moisturizer into the bag. “You see? You see what you’
ve done? You’ve condemned the woman who is like my mother to possible death at the hands of the Order. I hope you’re fucking happy, Dash. I hope you’re as fucking torn apart inside like I am right now!”

  He exhales. “I didn’t want this. When I looked into the Order, I did it only so I could protect you.”

  “There are consequences to every fucking action, Dash. I told you there would be. Why? Why didn’t you fucking listen?”

  He reaches out, his hand resting on mine. I’m not sure why, but I let him. “I’m sorry. I mean that. For what you’re having to give up. For what and who you might lose… I’m so… fucking… sorry.”

  My eyes shift up to his, they’re glistening with his apology. It’s obvious he’s telling the truth. He means it. It’s coming from the heart, which only makes it harder for me to hate him.

  “I can’t… I just… I really can’t—” I stop because I don’t even know what I am trying to say.

  He pulls his hand away from me. “I get it. I do. I fucked up, but I’m gonna make it up to you.”

  “I don’t think you can.”

  He shrugs. “I’m gonna try, anyway.”

  Our eyes lock, the air changing around us, the magnet pulling us back together as we stare at each other. I don’t know what it is about Dash, but he has this way of drawing me in to him. Of making me want to be near him, even when I’m aggravated with him.

  His hand comes out, caressing the side of my face. My breathing hitches as our eyes remain locked, his lips almost touching mine. Dammit, I want to kiss him, I want to give myself to him, but it’s too much. Sniffling, I close my eyes, letting out an exhale. “Please, don’t,” I whisper, a tear falling down my cheek.

  He gently wipes it away, then slowly, he removes his hand from my face.

  I open my eyes to him backing away as I clear my throat. He reaches past me, grabbing my luggage. “We need to get moving.”

  I shove a few more essentials into my handbag, then zip it shut and stand from the bed feeling like absolute shit. How can I be so torn? I want to kiss Dash more than anything, but I’m so fucking angry at him that my body physically aches. I don’t know how to contain the two emotions.