Seeking Shadows (Royal Bastards MC Tampa Chapter Book 3)

by K E Osborn

  She jerks her head back. “What do you mean?”

  I wave her off. “It doesn’t matter. Don’t fucking interfere.”

  “I just want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, Dash. We were close once… I… I miss my friend.”

  I exhale. “I don’t know if we can ever go back to that, Ivy. Too much has happened.”

  Her eyes glisten as she stares at me. “Here’s your bags.” She hands them to me, then turns and walks off without saying anything else.

  I let out a long sigh as West grips my shoulder. “Brother, if I ever have as fucked up of a relationship with women as you do, please put me out of my misery.”

  I snort out a laugh. “Yeah, right! Thanks for the moral support.”

  “You’re welcome. Want help carrying these to your room?”

  “Yeah, that’d be good.”

  We pick up all the luggage and head back toward my bedroom. When I get there, I gently knock on the door. I’m not really sure why. It’s my damn room, but I feel like it’s the right thing to do. The door slowly opens, and Shadow pops her head through. Instantly her shoulders relax when she spots it’s me, and she opens the door, letting West and me inside. We place the bags down, and I pat West on the shoulder as he glances over at Cruz in my bed. “Never thought I’d see the day you manned up, Justice.”

  Grabbing his cut, I spin him around and push him out the door. “Goodnight, prospect.”

  West snickers as I close the door in his face and then flip the lock. Shaking my head, I turn to see Shadow’s already searching through her bag. She pulls out her charger and plugs it into the wall. Seems she’s making herself at home. Moving over to the closet, I shrug out of my cut and place it inside, then I pull off my shirt and move for my jeans.

  “Hey!”

  I spin to face Shadow as she glares at me. “What?”

  “You can’t get naked with my kid in the room.”

  “I’m not getting naked, just down to my boxers.”

  “No, keep a shirt on, too. He doesn’t need to see all…” she waves her hands through the air flippantly, “… that.”

  Reaching into my closet, I pull out an oversized RBMC T-shirt and yank it over my head. I raise my brows, and she nods her head in approval. “Thank you.”

  I continue undoing my jeans, pulling them and my boots off, then make way for my inflatable mattress. It’s only a single, and it’s thin, so this is going to be interesting, but I will sleep on it for however long I need to keep Shadow and Cruz safe.

  I pull back the duvet, sliding in. As soon as I slip onto the inflatable bed, I sink into it, almost touching the floor. This is definitely made for kids. I let out a long sigh as I fluff my pillow.

  Shadow sits on the edge of the bed and I glance up at her. “You okay?”

  “I can’t believe I’m back here.”

  “At the club?” I ask, completely confused.

  She sniffles. “Running.”

  I roll on my side, propping my head up with my arm and look at her. “Shadow, you’re safe. You have me, you have all those brothers out there who are going to lay down everything to fight for you—”

  “But why? What have I done to deserve that?”

  “Because you’re my girl. In turn, they will look after yo—”

  “I’m not your girl.”

  “In your eyes. In my eyes, you’re still my girl, and I want to protect you. You and Cruz.”

  “Dash…”

  “Shadow…”

  She scrubs at her face like she’s frustrated, but she doesn’t say anything. She just stands and starts taking off her clothes. Her eyes meet mine. “Close your eyes, Dash.”

  “I’ve seen you in your underwear, remember? The beach, the water, our hands going rogue—”

  “Stop! I don’t need reminding right now, thank you! I just need to go to sleep. Now close your damn eyes.”

  Doing as she asked, she shuffles about getting changed. I think about peeking, but I don’t, giving her the privacy she desires. With a flick of a switch, the light dims, and I open my eyes to stare up at the ceiling as she moves into bed next to her little man. He moans out a little in his sleep, making me peer over at them.

  “Shh, baby. Go back to sleep.”

  “Mama? Where are we?” Cruz asks.

  “We’re going on an adventure. You’ll see it all in the morning. Go back to sleep, baby.”

  He shifts as he grumbles. “Mama, it’s dark.”

  “I know, baby, it’s okay.”

  I sit up on this godawful mattress and lean over to the wall light that has a dimmer switch and turn it on. Light illuminates the room and Cruz instantly sits up in shock, spotting me as I dull the brightness, so it’s basically a night light.

  “Dash! You’re here, too.” He beams excitedly.

  “Yeah, buddy, I’m here. Hey, I have something for you.”

  His sleepy eyes light up as I lean over to his bag and grab his bear. I shuffle over on my knees to the edge of the bed, handing over Mister Sprocket to Cruz, and he reaches out, grabbing him. “Fanks Dash, you’re da best!”

  Shadow looks at me and mouths ‘thank you’ as I shuffle back over to the mattress. Climbing back in, I pull the duvet back over me. “Night, Cruz.”

  “Night, Dash.”

  I glance over, and Shadow is staring at me. I turn on my side facing her so I can keep my eyes focused on her too. She bites down on her bottom lip as she often does, then she gets comfortable in the bed. It’s so hard to read what she’s thinking as she slowly smiles then mouths ‘goodnight.’

  I mouth it back to her, and her eyes slowly flutter closed.

  I can’t help but keep my eyes on her long after she falls asleep. All I want to do is keep them both safe.

  I hurt her.

  I’ve scared her.

  But if I can make this right somehow, I need to.

  Because there’s a glimpse.

  Still a chance in there for me to get her back.

  I’ve seen it multiple times today. She’s angry, mad as hell. I understand that. But we’re still salvageable. I feel it deep down inside.

  She’s still my girl.

  Whether she knows it or not.

  I have to be the one to show her.

  I have to be the one to prove it to her—make the proof undeniable.

  Chapter Nineteen

  SHADOW

  “Mama?” Cruz’s voice echoes in the back recesses of my mind, but I am so drained I can’t quite wake up yet.

  “Mom, Mooom, Mama, Mom, Mooo—”

  “Okay, I’m up!” My eyes flutter open, even though they’re heavy as hell, to see Cruz leaning over me. But we’re not at home. Everything around me is foreign, and it hits me all at once, the events that happened in the early hours of the morning.

  A crushing weight hits my chest. I look into the hopeful eyes of my son, and it nearly breaks me. My hand comes up caressing his cheek. “Did you sleep well, baby?”

  He nods dramatically. “Did we have a sweepover?”

  I glance down at Dash who is not surprisingly awake and staring up at us. “Yeah, we did. And we’re gonna stay here for a few more nights with Dash and his friends. Is that okay?”

  Cruz looks over at Dash with the biggest smile crossing his face. “Dash is my fwend.”

  Dash shifts to get up from the inflatable, then moves over to the bed, sitting on the edge. “Yeah buddy, I’m your friend.”

  “Will you eat bweakfast wiv me?”

  Dash leans in, ruffling Cruz’s hair. “Hell, yeah. We gotta have breakfast to make us big and strong, remember?”

  Cruz rushes from me over into Dash’s arms, lifting them to squeeze his muscles. “You do need to work on your muscles.”

  I let out a loud laugh as Dash widens his eyes in shock, then reaches out grabbing Cruz, pulling him to him and tickling. Cruz bursts out into a fit of giggles as his arms flail about while trying to get away. I can’t help but sit back, watching the two of them
play together.

  As mad as I am at Dash, seeing him so great with Cruz is all I could wish for.

  Cruz is all that matters in all of this.

  “Dash stop, or I’m gonna pee!” Cruz yells through his giggle fit.

  Dash plops Cruz down on his lap, wrapping his arms around him. “Can’t have that now, can we? So, are we eating breakfast in our jammies this morning?” Dash asks.

  Cruz’s face lights up as his eyes shoot to me like he’s pleading. “Can I, Mama?”

  “I guess. You’re not going to daycare today, so yeah, why not.”

  “Yes!” Cruz cheers, high-fiving Dash as he helps Cruz to the floor. Dash stands, walking over to his closet. He pulls on his jeans, then looks at Cruz, who’s distracted by the trophies on the desk. Quickly, Dash pulls off his shirt and replaces it with his usual black tee and cut.

  I stand, making my way to my luggage to pull out a long summer dress, even though it’s technically fall. Dash looks me up and down with a slight smirk then walks over to Cruz. “C’mon, buddy, let’s let your mama get changed. She’s gonna look real nice.”

  Cruz places his hand into Dash’s, and they head for the door. Dash is trying, but I don’t think I’m ready. Not sure that I’ll ever be ready to forgive him for putting us in this position. “Be good for Dash, I’ll be right behind you.”

  “Bweakfast time, bweakfast time, nummy nummy, bweakfast time!” he chimes a little song with Mister Sprocket in his hand as Dash leads him out of the room.

  Slumping back on the bed, I let out a long exhale. Holding the dress up to my chest, I take the moment alone to process.

  I’m here.

  At Dash’s club.

  For God knows how long.

  I have to try and make this work because being here and fighting with Dash the entire time is going to be hell. So I stand with a newfound pep in my step and get dressed, then head for the door to make my way out into the main room.

  The sound of laughter echoes through the bunker. I didn’t really take in just how creepy this place seems last night, but in the light of day, it’s like an old war bunker. Perhaps someplace where you would hide in an apocalypse. But if this bunker is going to be the line of defense between Tyler and Cruz, then so be it.

  I spot Dash and Cruz sitting at a table. Cruz is already stuffing his face full of Frosted Flakes, and people surround them every which way I look. Widening my eyes, I race toward Cruz. The last thing I want is for him to be overwhelmed with all this new craziness I have swept him into.

  As I approach, he’s giggling and smiling at everyone. “You talk funny.”

  A tall, cheerless looking man tilts his head at Cruz while everyone else smirks. “You look funny!”

  Dash snorts. “Ominous, don’t be a dick.”

  “Bwad word, Dash!”

  Dash grimaces. “Sorry, buddy.”

  “I love your jammies!” a woman tells him as she slides in next to Dash. She looks a hell of a lot like Ivy, but I’m sure it’s not her.

  “Fank you, dey’re a triceratopses.”

  Everyone raises their brows as I step in behind Dash, resting my hand on his shoulder. He glances up at me with a genuine smile. “That’s a big word for a four-year-old.”

  Cruz shovels some more flakes into his mouth.

  “He knows all about dinosaurs, they’re his favorite topic. Right, baby?” I tell them all.

  Cruz hums under his breath, gulping down the flakes. “The velocecraptor is the bestest!”

  Dash chuckles. “I think so too.”

  No one corrects him, and no one makes fun of the name.

  Cruz’s eyes light up as he fist-bumps Dash. “Mama, did you meet my new fwends?”

  Everyone here turns to look at me, making me suddenly feel like the center of attention. “I haven’t yet, baby. Why don’t you introduce me?”

  Cruz places his spoon down like this is a big job. “O-tay… this is chicwita.” He points to the woman sitting beside Dash.

  She shoves her hand out for me. “Hey, it’s Chiquita, or Eva, or Nycto’s Ol’ Lady, I’ll answer to any of those.”

  I shake her hand as Cruz continues, “That’s Omi… Omi? Ominous! I don’t know what that means. You all have really weird names!”

  “Cruz!” I berate.

  Ominous laughs. “He’s not wrong, but he is fucking smart, I’ll give him that.”

  “Bwad word!” Cruz grumbles.

  Ominous leans in, ruffling Cruz’s hair. “Don’t care, little man. And trust me, when you’re older, you’ll be saying them too.”

  “Ominous, go away, don’t corrupt the poor kid,” another biker instructs.

  “Fine! Just don’t pee on the sofa!” Ominous turns, walking off.

  “He’s even moodier than he was at the bar,” I mumble under my breath.

  Eva waves her hand through the air. “Don’t worry about Ominous, anything involving any kind of emotion, and Ominous can’t handle it. He doesn’t know how to deal with people enjoying their time or how to embrace new, fun things. He’s…”

  “An asshole?” I mumble.

  Everyone snickers, including Cruz, and I inwardly berate myself.

  Eva stands and heads over to me. “He is, and he isn’t. He has moments where he shows he cares. You just gotta break through his tough exterior. You’ll see. He’ll warm up to you and you him. You just gotta give him a chance.”

  I glance back down to Cruz who appears completely unfazed by being here. The only person affected by our situation is me. So I turn back to Eva. “So, Ol’ Lady, huh?”

  Her eyes sparkle like I’ve just lit a fire inside her. “Best job in the world. Though it’s not really a job, more a calling. I wouldn’t want to be anything else.”

  Dash casually shifts his eyes to meet mine, but I ignore him.

  “How on earth did you get involved with the club, anyway?”

  Everyone chuckles as she exhales heavily. “That, my dear girl, is a story over vodka and tacos. Lots and lots of vodka.”

  “But you’re glad you are here?”

  Her face lights like she’s warming from the inside out. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I have my man, my sister, the brotherhood, one big family. Everything I need is right here.”

  I raise my brow. “Your sister?”

  She hesitates for a moment, then her eyes shoot past me, looking toward the stairs to the lower bunker. I turn to see Void and Ivy coming up, and it all clicks into place. Why she looks so much like Ivy—it’s because they’re sisters. “Oh,” I mumble.

  Eva leans into me, grabs my arm then leads me away from Dash’s prying ears. “I love my sister. I will always want to go in to bat for her, but the way she left things with Dash was shit. He deserves someone to fight for him like he always fights for them. Like he’s fighting for you, Shadow…” She pauses then continues, “Dash is a fucking amazing guy. One of the best we have here. I just hope you see what we do in him.”

  I clear my throat. “I did. I saw it. I saw him, but it all kind of fell away when he put my son in danger.”

  “I understand. But he’s still here fighting for you both. So, maybe try and show him the same respect.”

  Jerking my head back, I scoff. “Is that an order?”

  She slumps her shoulders. “Of course not. I just don’t want you to lose something so fucking good because you got scared and angry.”

  “You forgot hurt…”

  “That’s okay, be all of those things, just get over it quickly. Or you might find yourself messed up over a guy you could have had, but you let him get away.”

  “Shadow,” a booming voice calls from the other side of the room, making everyone turn around.

  Nycto and Void stand by the large double gray doors with the club logo displayed across the metal.

  “Me?” I ask hesitantly.

  “Is your name Shadow?” Nycto mocks.

  Swallowing, I nod. “Umm… yes.”

  “Then you’re up. Dash, you too. Get in her
e.” He turns, walking inside the room.

  Instantly, I spin to face Dash, panic washing through me. “What about Cruz?” I blurt out.

  “I got him cariño,” Eva offers, walking over and sitting down next to Cruz. “We’ll have a lot of fun, won’t we?”

  Cruz nods his head matter-of-factly. “Mm-hmm,” he mumbles through his Frosted Flakes.

  Dash stands next to me. “He’ll be okay. Eva will look after him.”

  My stomach rolls, but I lean down placing a kiss on his head. “Mommy will be right back, okay, baby?”

  “It’s o-tay, I’ll be fine, Mama.”

  I can’t help but smile at my big boy. “I love you.”

  He simply keeps eating.

  Dash places his hand on the small of my back, ushering me toward the room.

  “Where are we going?” I whisper.

  “The chapel. It’s kind of like a meeting room. It’s a sacred place, so you’re lucky to be going in there at all.”

  I raise my brow as we walk through the large gray doors into a medium-sized room, dimly lit much like the rest of the bunker by industrial wall lamps. A large metal table sits in the middle with the same logo branded onto the center. Rivets line the outer edge of the table and burnt orange rust stains smatter the trims. It has character, appeal.

  Nycto sits at the head of the table, Void to his left. Dash walks in not taking a seat. That surprises me. Maybe it’s a respect thing. He said this room was sacred, maybe there’s a hierarchy in here too.

  “Shadow, take a seat.” Nycto requests.

  Dash pulls out a seat and gestures for me to sit in it. My eyes linger on him, but I slowly slide into the seat, leaning against the giant table, then wait for Dash to join me.

  Only, he stays standing.

  There’s definitely a rank thing happening here.

  Taking a deep breath, I turn from Dash to Nycto. “Look, if I’m going to talk to you, I want everyone here to be comfortable. I don’t want to feel fucking awkward while I do this.”

  Void rolls his shoulders like he’s not on board with this while Nycto tilts his head at me. “And by that you mean?”

  “I mean… why the hell is Dash standing like a damn soldier. That’s making me uncomfortable… I want him to sit down. I want to talk this out like civilized people. I don’t want rank and shit to come into play right now.”