Hate Sober

by T. L Smith

“Can I help you?” she asks while looking me up and down.

  “Can you help m-me?” I stutter, shocked.

  “That’s what I said. You dumb or something?”

  “Or something,” I repeat back to her.

  Who speaks like that?

  “Look, bitch… you’ve knocked on the wrong house, so it’s best you leave.”

  I push past her and go straight inside. I don’t bother going upstairs to where the living and kitchen areas are located, instead I head straight to the bedroom where the rest of my things are located.

  “Hey, bitch, you can’t just walk in here. Do you know whose house this is?” she asks, but she’s screaming as she follows me through the house. I don’t answer, grabbing a suitcase and filling it full of my things.

  “What are you doing…” She seems to go quiet as she watches me reach for shit and then throwing it in my bag. “He’s going to be so mad.” She starts shaking her head as I look back to her.

  “Who are you?” She keeps shaking her head. “Who. Are. You?” I step up closer, so I am in her face. She’s wearing a very small, short dress and heels that are so high you know she’s had to train herself to walk in them.

  “I’m—”

  “She’s nobody,” a voice booms from behind her. Gunner’s standing there dressed in one of his perfectly cut suits as he reaches for her arm, pulling her back so she isn’t in the doorway but he is, and with the light behind him he’s a gorgeous sight to behold.

  “You can leave!”

  “But we didn’t…” She doesn’t say another word as she looks back to me. “You’re the wife, aren’t you?”

  I don’t answer. She doesn’t deserve an answer, let alone need to know.

  “Leave,” he says again with a sharp tone that even I flinch from. She goes this time and I hear the door gently click shut behind her.

  “Who was that?” I ask.

  He tucks his hands into his pockets while looking me over. “You look good, Everly. You sure you came here to collect your things?” Gunner steps closer, his hands staying firmly where they are in his pockets, like he doesn’t trust himself to remove them. I put my hands in front of me to stop him from touching me anyway.

  “I can fuck you the way you want. Is that what you want?”

  I shake my head. “No. Now who was that?” I ask, nodding to where she left.

  He stays close to me when he answers. “I was planning to fuck her.”

  “How?”

  He smirks. “The way you hated.”

  I shake my head and continue to pack. “Of course you were. I can’t touch anybody, but you can?” I bark at him incredulously.

  “I didn’t touch her. I couldn’t. Does that make you feel better?”

  My hands stop moving at his words. “I want you, Everly. With everything I am, I want you.” Realizing I still haven’t moved, I start packing again. My skirt has moved up my legs, and his eyes fall straight to the bared skin, his sexy smirk in place.

  “Stop looking at me like that,” I tell him.

  “Like what?”

  “Like you plan to do bad things to me. Things I simply don’t want, Gunner.”

  He looks up at my words. “You’re lying.”

  I shake my head. “What is wrong with you?” I scream at him.

  “It’s taking everything in me right now not to tie you to that bed and fuck that attitude out of you, Everly.”

  “Fuck you, Gunner Reid. Fuck you!” I push past him and go to the door. Honestly, it feels like déjà vu all over again. He follows me out and smiles when I turn back to him. I want to wipe that smug smirk off his face.

  “I’m going to fuck someone tonight, and when I do, I’ll think of you.” I offer him my sweetest smile as I climb into the car and drive off. When I chance a look at him in the rear-view mirror, I see his hands clenched and his lips in a thin, white line.

  What did I just do?

  “This isn’t the smartest thing to do right now,” I say to May as she pulls me inside the club. I wouldn’t have come tonight, but it’s her birthday, and on her birthday we celebrate. Even if I am having the worst month of my life.

  “It probably isn’t, but you’ve been stuck in your house doing absolutely nothing for far too long and we need to get out.”

  She’s right.

  After that night when I walked out of his place, I have gone to work then home, and done nothing else. May didn’t take it too well when I told her I was going to be staying at my own home since I got the keys back, but she understood I needed some alone time to process everything.

  I lied to him that night when I told him I was going to fuck someone else, but he didn’t need to know that. I haven’t heard from him since, and a few times I thought I was being followed, but I’ve put it down to me having little to no sleep and being overly paranoid.

  I asked for this, didn’t I? To not have him in my life, even if he still consumes my dreams. It’s unfair how someone can consume you so much.

  “I didn’t know, I swear.” May pulls me again, this time back toward the door. I look over her shoulder and see Gunner standing there with two women next to him, much like the first night I saw him, but this time he has a smile on his face.

  Pulling away from May, I straighten my posture and turn to her.

  “It’s fine. You go and get us some drinks. I’m going to say hello to my husband.”

  “Ev…”

  I don’t hear what she has to say after that as I start walking toward him. Gunner turns so he’s facing me, and the two women next to him don’t move. They both stand there like he’s the glue that binds them to him.

  When I finally reach him, my heart rate has picked up and my hands are shaking, but I smile anyway despite my inner turmoil. “Husband,” I say, making both sets of eyes on him turn straight to me.

  “Wife,” he replies smiling.

  My eyes travel to each girl, both with blonde hair the exact opposite of mine. They both eye me suspiciously, but keep a lock on his arms as they stand on either side.

  “I see you’ve downgraded,” I say smiling.

  I watch his lip quirk, but it’s gone before he speaks again, “Anything is a downgrade from you, Everly.”

  Neither girl seems bothered at all by the insulting. Perhaps it’s gone over their blonde heads that he’s downgraded by being with them.

  “I would hope so.”

  He doesn’t make a move to reach for me, simply stands there not moving.

  “Why are you here?” I ask.

  “Why are you here?” he repeats my question.

  I look back over my shoulder to see May standing at the bar talking to someone as she orders our drinks. “It’s May’s birthday. We’re celebrating.”

  “That’s nice,” he says, not sounding at all like himself.

  “Tell your girls to leave, so we can speak.”

  He looks to both of them and nods, and they walk away like they’ve been ordered to do so, like good little girls.

  “What do you want to speak about, Mrs. Reid?”

  My spine straightens at the use of that name. “I would like my things back from the storage unit.”

  “Is that all?”

  I nod.

  He steps in closer, his hand itching to touch mine. “Are you sure that’s all, Everly? You sure you don’t want me to take you out the back and fuck you against the wall?”

  “What?” I say with my eyes wide.

  “I haven’t been with anyone but you. And I’m craving you, Everly Reid.”

  “I’ve seen you now on two separate occasions with women. A man who wants his wife as much as you say you do, wouldn’t do that.”

  “Appearances have to be kept. I can’t be heartbroken over a woman, now can I? Especially not in my business.” He steps closer. “They would know you’re my weakness.”

  My hand falls on his chest, and I know the minute I make contact it’s a serious mistake. Touching him will always be my biggest mistake.

  �
�Let me have you, Everly.”

  “No.”

  He doesn’t listen to my answer, though, as he leans closer and his lips touch my neck ever so slightly. “Are you sure, Everly? I can be fast. Though, it goes against everything in me to have you fast when I could treasure you.”

  My breathing picks up and his lips drag across my neck and I nod my head. It’s all I can do. Fucking nod.

  He basically drags me, keeping one hand on me at all times in case I run. Gunner opens the back door, and the minute we’re in the dark, his hands go up my dress and he pushes me against the wall. His lips find mine in the dark, and I’m glad I can’t see him. I know if I look, I will see he’s as desperate as I am right now. Our hands fighting to find and touch everywhere they can, while they can.

  I am an idiot for being here right now.

  But this part? I’ve never had a problem with this, it’s the dominating I don’t like.

  My hands touch his face, stopping him from moving his lips down my neck and he brings them back to my lips, kissing me as if he’s breathing me in for the first time and I’m his last and first breath.

  He’s that for me.

  Our lips smash and his tongue glides, one hand pulls my leg against his waist to wrap it around. Then he pulls my panties to the side and in one swift movement, he is in me. My mouth opens even wider at the gasp of him entering me, and I forget how to move my hips. He doesn’t, though, and when he pushes into me and releases, then does it again, he kisses my lips and down to my neck then back again.

  Right now, in this very moment as he takes control and fucks me with everything he is, I remember our passion. I remember how much I loved being with him when it was just us two in bed. But that was all false. It’s not what he wants. He only did all those things so he could have me the way he wanted.

  I go still as he pushes inside me again and he notices. He notices everything, so he stops, his hard cock in me as a stray tear leaks down my cheek.

  “Everly.”

  I shake my head and move instead. I don’t want his damn words, and I don’t trust my own right now, so the best thing to do is let him fuck me and walk away from this, pretending we didn’t just fall into the love-drunk trap that is Gunner Reid and Everly Thorne.

  My hands grip onto his shirt and I hold on as the waves start to roll and my orgasm hits me hard. He leans down and bites my shoulder, not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough that I feel it down to my very soul.

  I shake, knowing he would rather do more, that he would rather bruise every part of my body to mark it as his own.

  When he stops, he doesn’t pull out straight away, instead he stays where he is, not moving, while his hand comes up and brushes my long hair back from my neck. “I’ve missed you, Everly.”

  I don’t reply. I can’t. I’m frozen on the spot. Incapable of movement. Unable to contemplate anything.

  “Everly?” He says my name, waiting for me to speak, but instead I push him back, freeing myself from him and pull my dress down.

  Walking back the same way we came in, I touch the door and he grabs hold of my wrist, spinning me around. When I open the door, the light shines out on his face, and when he sees mine, he drops my hand and looks to the ground, letting me go.

  He saw it. I think he saw the moment I knew this can’t work. Nothing about this is healthy. And I can’t do this ever again.

  The torment is over.

  That was our last goodbye.

  7

  Everly

  May spots me the minute I walk in her direction and her face falls, the smile that was there a second ago now completely gone. I turn, walking to the door, not wanting him to catch up to me.

  May meets me outside and she pushes my hair back, a soft, sad smile now on her face. “Are you okay?”

  “I need to go. Is it okay if I just leave?” I feel bad, but I can’t stay here any longer. I need to go home—oh hell, I don’t even know what I need. I just feel like I need my own space and to be as far away from him as possible. Perhaps even away from it all.

  “Of course. Do you want me to come with you?”

  Reaching out I touch her arm, give her a reassuring squeeze. “No. But, thank you.” I look past her and see him standing at the door not too far away from me. Dropping my hand from her arm, I reach up and hail the first available cab and don’t look back as my heart sits in my throat, unsure of exactly how I should be feeling right now.

  But one thing I do know is it’s not good.

  Not with him anyway.

  It can never be good.

  I’ve fallen for a man who’s twisted, fucked in the head. And in that man, I somehow found pieces of him that I love.

  That’s the hardest part to come to terms with.

  The parts I love almost surpass the other parts.

  Almost.

  The next day, after hardly any sleep, I open my front door, and standing there is a man dressed in a suit with glasses on his face. He looks up, pushes his glasses back, and smiles.

  “Everly Reid?” he asks. I nod my head. “Good. These are for you. If you could please sign, I will be on my way.” He hands me a pen and taps on the dotted line.

  “What is it?” I ask. There’s no way I am signing anything without knowing what it is.

  “It’s the deed to your house. Mr. Reid is gifting it to you.”

  My hand freezes as I look at him and let those words completely sink in.

  “Sorry… what?” I say in disbelief.

  “He asked that I come by and have you sign the forms so you can have the deed to your house back.” I nod, but I know my mouth is hanging open. “And he said to tell you to… just take it.” Of course he did. “That it’s yours anyway.”

  I sign on the dotted line where it states my name, and he passes me some legal forms before he leaves.

  Walking to my couch, I sit and read through it all. Sure enough, my house is mine again. All mine. I loved this place when I first moved in and I love it now. A stray tear leaves my eye and I wipe it away before getting up and going to work.

  When I arrive at work the smile on my face is hard to wipe away.

  It’s a good day.

  Which started off shit with my lack of sleep.

  “Squirt.”

  Shit! Shit! I turn to see him standing there, sunglasses covering his face as he looks at me.

  “Alec, what are you doing here?” I ask, while looking around making sure no one is here.

  “Your father is signing everything over to me in a few years when he retires. He told me today.” I nod, because that’s good. “I want you to be a part of it. It’s your family’s legacy, Squirt.”

  “No, Alec, that’s not going to happen.”

  He steps forward, closer to me. “You left him. Why do you still act like you care what he thinks?”

  “I do care. No matter what, I will always care. The love I feel can’t be switched off, Alec. It has to learn to live apart.”

  “You expect me to do the same?” he asks in disbelief. “For some inexplicable reason you expect me to just turn it off?”

  “I don’t claim to know what you feel, Alec. But whatever you do feel, you have felt on your own, so it’s one-sided. You can find someone who loves you the same way you say you love me. You should… no, you can.”

  “It’s not that easy,” he says, shaking his head. “I’ve wanted you forever, and knowing you choose him over me…” he clenches his jaw tightly, “… it makes me angry, Squirt. Really. Fucking. Angry.”

  “I don’t know how many more times I can apologize for something I’ve had no control over, Alec,” I say in a rush of breath.

  “You never tried.”

  I run my fingers through my hair. “I can’t try. What are you not understanding? I can’t. Quite simply, he has it all, and I have no more love left to give,” I say on a disillusioned breath.

  He steps closer while shaking his head. I feel all of him then, the powerful man that he’s become. I never really
saw him like that before, more of a protector, more like a brother.

  “You’re brainwashed by him,” he says, then turns and walks away.

  I watch his retreating form, unsure of what he meant or what’s happening.

  Not long after he leaves, I watch Gunner walk in. His strides are long and purposeful.

  “Did he touch you?” he asks while looking me over, touching my arm, turning me around to make sure I don’t have marks on me.

  “Gunner, stop touching me.” My pulse quickens with his contact, and when he drops his hand, he simply stares at me.

  “You aren’t meant to be near him,” he seethes.

  “I’m at work, Gunner.” I wave my hand around. “Not much I can do about people walking into a place of business.”

  “You don’t know him like you think you do, Everly. Stay away from him.” He turns to leave and this time it’s me who stops him.

  “Are you spying on me?”

  He halts. His shoulders sag just a touch, but I notice. His appearance is rough, almost like he hasn’t been sleeping. Turning around, he faces me. “Yes. I will always watch you.”

  “That’s just creepy,” I say.

  “I love you, Everly.”

  I check around, there are people milling about, not even paying attention as we argue it out in public. Our hands are glued to our sides as if we are restraining ourselves from touching each other. It almost feels like I have an invisible rope tied around my waist holding me together, not allowing any movement. Because, believe me, I want to touch him, even against my better judgment.

  “Don’t say that,” I say. “You struggled to say it, and now what? Now, it’s easy for you to say?” I ask him in disbelief.

  “You wanted it, I’ve given it to you. And now you’re going to argue with me about it?”

  “Yes. Dammit! Yes, I am.”

  “What do you really want to ask me?” Gunner steps closer.

  “Why did you give me my apartment back?”

  “I’m not good at letting go, and I’m trying to let you go.”

  “Let me go?” I ask, but in a much smaller voice.

  “Yes. That is what you want. Correct?”