This is Not a Double Date

by Grace Risata

  That little shit always turned things around on me. She should have been a lawyer instead of a science major.

  “Your life is currently more thrilling than mine,” Hailey complained. “I just need to get over the past and move on…but that’s easier said than done.”

  I knew exactly what was bothering her, and I honestly grieved for my sister. Once someone caught your eye and there was an instant attraction, it was difficult to pretend that feelings could be turned on and off like a light switch.

  My mind wandered back to the closet of the escape room…and the steamy kiss I shared with Roman. Why were men such hard creatures to figure out? If there were a trivia category on Hailey’s tablet involving ‘Mysteries of the Male Mind,’ then we’d both be utter failures.

  Oh well. Just because you don’t have a good chance of winning, doesn’t mean you give up on the game entirely.

  Chapter Nine

  Andi – Friday Night

  “Happy Birthday, Dad!” I exclaimed while opening the door to my apartment and giving the man a quick kiss on the cheek. “Just dump the food on my kitchen table. I made a spot for everything.”

  My mom walked in behind the birthday boy, arms laden with take-out bags from one of our favorite restaurants. The smells were mouth-watering and I eagerly anticipated the feast. Hailey was kind enough to grab some of the bags while I got to work pulling out plates, napkins, and silverware.

  “Are we eating first?” I asked, ready to dive right in.

  “Heck, yeah,” my dad replied. “I’m famished and it would be a crime to let these delicious entrees get cold. Pass me a plate!”

  We set up a grand buffet on the table that included a huge tray of barbecue chicken wings, a pan of mac n’ cheese, a rack of ribs, a tub of coleslaw, and a huge container of dinner rolls.

  “Are more people coming?” Hailey marveled in awe. “Who’s going to eat all this?”

  “There was a discount if I supersized to the party platter,” my mom explained. “Besides, I knew you girls would want leftovers.”

  I busied myself peeling back the aluminum foil lid on ribs and deeply inhaling the rich scent, when I heard what sounded like a knock on the door.

  “Ooh,” my dad mumbled, turning his head toward the noise. “A birthday surprise, perhaps? Did you hire a magician to perform?”

  Hailey rolled her eyes at the notion we would go to such great lengths, while my dad enthusiastically followed me to investigate this new development.

  Cautiously cracking the door open, I was stunned to see Roman standing on my welcome mat. Unlike his usual perfectly groomed self, he had clearly come from work judging by the dirty jeans, fluorescent yellow safety vest, and steel toe boots.

  “While I appreciate the fact that he’s dressed like a construction worker, I’d have preferred a female stripper,” my dad blurted in amusement while I turned five shades of red.

  “I’m sorry,” Roman apologized glancing back and forth from me to my father. “I certainly don’t mean to interrupt anything. I just wanted a quick word with Andi and then I’ll be on my way.”

  “Do you know this man?” my dad asked me with a raise of his eyebrow, most likely trying to determine if Roman was simply a representative from the electric company about to inform me that he was cutting the power or if he was someone more important such as a potential suitor.

  “Yes,” I replied, entirely uncertain as to how to introduce the two men. “Dad, this is Roman. He’s my…um…he’s a…he’s…Roman.”

  “Friend or foe?” my goofy father asked while puffing out his chest like a Viking warrior about to do battle.

  “Friend!” I insisted firmly, wishing I didn’t have to use those words on the off chance that Roman might think I only want to be his friend when that was not the case at all. Friends don’t want to see their friends naked or fantasize about doing very dirty things with them.

  Roman chose that moment to find his voice and make another plea to speak with me.

  “I just need a second alone with Andi, sir. I have one quick question to ask her and that’s all I need.”

  “Nonsense. It just so happens to be my birthday and we were about to sit down to a feast fit for a king. Come in and join us!”

  What? No!

  What the hell was my father doing? You don’t let your hunky crush meet your parents and little sister before you’ve even had a proper date! A woman needs time to prepare a man for such a relationship milestone. Not that Roman and I even had a relationship, which makes it all the more humiliating.

  “Dad! I’m sure Roman has better plans on a Friday night than to eat chicken wings at some guys’ fifty-fifth birthday party! Leave him alone!”

  “Andi, clearly you have much to learn about the male species. We value food highly on the scale of important things. It really doesn’t get much better than barbecue, cake, and the company of intelligent women, am I right, Roman?”

  At this point, all I could do was cover my face with my hands, click my heels together, and hope I might be transported to anywhere less embarrassing than here…which was literally anywhere that was not here.

  “Dad,” I hissed, pointing to the living room, “Please just go fill your plate and give me thirty seconds of privacy.”

  Once he was a safe distance away, I stepped out into the hall and began talking ninety miles an hour.

  “Roman, I am so sorry for my father. He has a tendency to be blunt and not pay attention to social cues. You certainly are under no obligation to stay and eat with us. That’s probably the last thing you want to do tonight. I mean who wants to join some dorky party with random strangers that you don’t even know? I mean obviously you know me, but that’s all. Not like there’s a hundred people in there…only me, my parents, and my sister…but still.”

  I paused to take a breath and realized that it might come off as rude…like I was rescinding the invitation because I didn’t want him there. Shit.

  “Not that I don’t want you to come in and eat with us, because the food is amazing, we’re playing games afterward, and there’s cake…so…yeah. You are more than welcome to join us, and you might even have a good time if you can put up with an old dude, his wife, and two competitive daughters who fight to the death in order to win at board games.”

  Roman stood wide-eyed at my outburst of word vomit. Maybe I should shut the hell up and let him speak.

  “I just got done with work and your apartment is on the way back to my place,” he explained. “I had every intention of swinging by for thirty seconds, asking you for your phone number, and going home to shower and eat leftover pizza. I appreciate your dad’s offer, but I’m not very presentable at the moment. If things were different…I would accept.”

  “What things?” I asked in confusion. Did he mean like if the situation was different and I wasn’t such a giant doofus? Or did he mean he’d stay if he was wearing clean clothes? “If your appearance is the only thing stopping you, then that’s ridiculous. My family doesn’t care about stuff like that. We’re certainly not wearing ball gowns and tuxedos. If you have no other plans tonight and you don’t mind my crazy family, please come in. I would like it if you joined us.”

  I chose to ignore the fact that I was unsure of his motive for wanting my phone number. There was a fifty percent chance Roman might actually ask me out…but that seemed too good to be true. Between the commotion of the birthday party and the sudden uninvited guest, I had become extremely flustered. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to relax and quit being such a spazz.

  “Are you sure?” he replied, clearly on the fence about what choice to make.

  “Absolutely,” I insisted, coming up with a plan. A flirty plan. “Anyway, I don’t just go giving out my personal number to any guy who asks for it. You have to earn it, Roman. I figure I’ll put you through the gauntlet tonight and see how well you do. Deal?”

  Did that sound flirty or weird? Probably weird. Damn it. If I had a dollar for every time something sounded good
in my head but creepy out loud, I could quit buying lottery tickets and retire to my own private island.

  “In that case,” he said with a smirk and a shrug of his shoulders, “I guess I better step up my game in order to get what I want.”

  Brushing past me and making his way towards the sounds of laughter and smells of tantalizing food, Roman walked right into my apartment.

  Fuck.

  What the hell do I do?

  Making a beeline to the table where three curious faces now stared at the newcomer, I was forced to make introductions.

  “Roman, this is my sister, Hailey, my mom, Pam, and my dad, Steve.”

  I’ll be damned if I tried to put a title on Roman. That was as much of an introduction as anyone was getting at this point.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” he commented politely, unable to shake anyone’s hands because they were holding plates piled high with food.

  “Likewise,” my mom stated, clearly confused on the man’s identity and why he stood in my kitchen. “Please help yourself and then come and grab a seat. We usually have parties at our house, but it’s currently a disaster. Unfortunately you’re going to have to eat in Andi’s living room with a plate on your lap.”

  My parents were a bit disappointed in the lack of amenities I had to offer. The apartment was open concept and not very spacious at all. Once you walk inside, the bedroom is on the right, the kitchen is on the left, and the living room is straight ahead. Not quite a presidential palace, but it’s all I can afford.

  “So, Roman,” Hailey began, drawing out his name as though it felt foreign on her tongue, “I hear you went to an escape room, hmm?”

  No. What the hell was she doing? Now he knows I told my sister about him.

  “Yes, Hailey,” he replied suavely, “I heard you would have loved the premise because it was set during the prohibition.”

  Whoa. Didn’t see that coming.

  My sister’s mouth hung open as she stared at the man who surprisingly knew something about her. Before she could form a reply, my dad made a simple request from the other room.

  “Andromeda, could you please bring me a bottle of water? I seem to have forgotten to grab myself a drink.”

  That was followed by, “Steven Cartwright! Why are you embarrassing your daughter? Did we not discuss this a million times already?”

  I let out a huge sigh, hung my head, and suddenly lost my appetite entirely.

  “Did he just say what I think he said?” Roman asked with a definite note of pleasure in his voice. “Your name is not short for ‘Andrea,’ but ‘Andromeda?’ Are you kidding me?”

  Hailey was more than happy to jump in with a full explanation.

  “Yes, Roman, you are correct. Our father is an astronomer and he’s obsessed with all things related to outer space. My mom was so madly in love with the man that she agreed to let him name their first child. Once he chose ‘Andromeda,’ she wisely decided to cut off his naming rights for future kids. I mean…I suppose I am named after Halley’s comet, but they changed the spelling to H-A-I-L-E-Y so I wouldn’t have to constantly correct people all the time. Andi is very sensitive about her name and she freaks out whenever dad tells people her dirty little secret. Out of spite, he tells everyone within minutes of meeting them. He just can’t understand why it bothers her!”

  “Because you have a ‘Pam,’ a ‘Steve,’ and a ‘Hailey.’ Those are all normal names given to human beings!” I complained loudly. “No one goes around with the name of ‘Andromeda’ except for aliens on Star Trek!”

  “I think it’s quirky,” Roman admitted. “It fits you, Andi. You shouldn’t be ashamed at all. Your father named his daughter after something he loved. It’s the nearest major galaxy to the Milky Way. Be proud.”

  This time I joined Hailey in an open mouth gawk at the drop dead gorgeous man in my kitchen. How did he know that?

  “What? You’re surprised?” he asked with a wink. “The human globe knows more than just Earth geography, Andi.”

  Roman finished filling his plate, graciously thanked me for handing him a soda, and walked into the living room to grab a comfy spot on my recliner.

  “Are you kidding me?” Hailey whispered while nudging me with her elbow. “The man looks like a damn super model. Stick him in a suit and he’d fit perfectly on the arm of any celebrity in one of my gossip magazines! He could be famous!”

  “I know! Why do you think I’m so freaked out that he’s here right now?” I whispered back as quietly as possible.

  “I’ll try not to embarrass you and bring up any stories of our childhood or anything,” she promised. “You need all the help you can get, girl!”

  Lovely. Even my sister pitied me.

  We joined the rest of the party in the living room, my sister plopped down on an oversized wooden rocking chair, and I was forced to sit on the floor like the family dog. It just keeps getting better and better. With my parents already happily occupying my large sofa, it became plainly obvious that I needed a bigger place if I was going to have guests come over regularly.

  “I can sit on the floor,” Roman offered, starting to rise from the recliner that seemed to fit him perfectly.

  “No, it’s okay,” I insisted. “Besides, we’ll be moving around once we’re done eating and the games begin.”

  “What kind of games?” he asked hesitantly, as though I might bust out a sword and expect him to joust.

  “You can be on our team, Roman,” Hailey stated without giving him the option of refusing. “It’s usually my mom and dad against me and Andi. That pretty much evens things out fairly. The science nerds against the history geeks.”

  “He has no idea what you’re talking about,” I explained, turning to Roman to clarify her remarks. “My dad is an astronomer, Hailey is a biochemist, I work in the ancient Egypt department at the museum, and my mom is a history professor at the university.”

  I paused to take a bite of my mac n’ cheese and look around at the group gathered in front of me. One person was definitely a league above the rest. Roman sat there with his rugged good looks, alpha masculinity, and posed as the perfect example of an attractive man right down to his smooth tan skin and kissable lips. He would stand out from the crowd no matter where he went.

  In contrast, my mom was a plain woman with straight blonde hair cut into a short bob, reading glasses hanging safely in place, and a no-nonsense look about her. With her usual outfit of simple black slacks and a white blouse, she preferred classic pieces that never went out of style. My father, however, had no idea what ‘style’ meant. He actually still wore his pocket protector from work along with gray pants that were a bit too short. If you can picture a nerdy man in your head, he fits the description flawlessly. Glasses? Check. Small, non-muscular build? Check. Names his daughter after a galaxy? Check.

  Then you have the Cartwright girls. Hailey and I shared the same chestnut colored hair, smattering of freckles, and large noses. At least we both avoided the glasses by insisting on contact lenses when we were in high school. Hailey was currently dressed in dark blue jeans, a pink cashmere sweater rolled up at the sleeves, and black flats. My ‘little’ sister was taller than me, had longer wavy hair that went half-way down her back, and knew far more about fashion than I did. On more than one occasion I wished we could have been the same size and shared outfits.

  Last but not least there was me, still wearing my work clothes that consisted of khaki pants, red button down shirt, and black belt. It didn’t exactly scream, ‘Date night with Roman.’ Had I known this was coming, I would have dressed differently.

  “I’m still not sure what games you’re referring to…” Roman confessed, snapping me out of my wardrobe ponderings.

  “You’re about to find out…”

  Chapter Ten

  Roman

  These people definitely took ‘competitive’ to a whole new level.

  Well…at least some of them did. Andi’s father didn’t seem to be quite as cutthroat as his
wife and daughters.

  “The next category is titled ‘famous Stevens throughout history,” Hailey informed everyone. “I picked it just for you on your birthday, dad. Mom will give the hints, and you need to figure out the people’s names.”

  I have to admit that the game was pretty easy to follow. One person held the tablet and had to guess the word on it, while their partner gave the clues. Once the person guessed correctly, they made a flipping motion with the tablet and a new phrase popped up on screen. Whichever team got the most correct answers in sixty seconds won that round.

  Hailey handed her dad the computer tablet and the room descended into chaos.

  “Okay,” Pam blurted excitedly, rubbing her hands together and getting her game face on. “The first one is a comedian…we used to watch him on Saturday Night Live…he’s been in a ton of movies…”

  “Ah, that would be Steve Martin,” her husband guessed correctly, slowly flipping the tablet for the next clue. “He was hilarious as a conehead and one of the ‘wild and crazy’ guys. Did you see the skit when he dressed up as King Tut, Andi? You’d appreciate that one.”

  “Dad, quit talking and get ready for the next clue!” she demanded.

  “Okay,” Pam continued, choosing to ignore the man’s chit chat and proceed with the game. “The next one is a famous author…he writes scary books...some examples are ‘Pet Cemetery,’ ‘It,’ and ‘The Stand.’ You love him.”

  “Ah, that would be Stephen King,” Steve murmured with a smile. “I would have to say that ‘The Stand’ is my favorite book of all time. I’m a sucker for post apocalyptic fiction.”

  “Flip the tablet and let’s move on,” his wife insisted, clearly wishing he’d take this competition a bit more seriously.

  “What’s the rush?” he asked, oblivious to the adrenaline rush coursing through his wife as her face turned red in anticipation of the next phrase on the tablet.

  “We’re being timed! We’re on a timer! The whole point of the game is to hurry up!” she shouted while flailing her arms. It reminded me of Andi when she gets worked up and makes wild hand motions. That was one major reason I was so enamored with the girl…a complete lack of pretense. Andi was who she was, and didn’t try and pretend to be anything else. Her purity and simplicity were a rare combination in this day and age. Usually most people put on airs or had some ulterior motive, but Andi wore her heart on her sleeve. I wasn’t accustomed to that type of behavior.