This is Not a Double Date

by Grace Risata

  BUZZ.

  “Time’s up, dad!” Hailey announced with unrestrained glee. “It’s Roman and Andi’s turn. Let’s see how our guest performs under pressure. Are you ready?”

  She turned to me and I nodded. Much to my relief, the categories hadn’t been too hard up to this point. Andi and her sister had already played one round to demonstrate how the game works and they got ‘State Capitals.’ The two obviously had a close sisterly bond judging by the inside jokes they used to give clues.

  Most people wouldn’t have said, “The state you threw up in after eating too many corn dogs on our family vacation,” as a hint for ‘Boise.’ It was quite eye-opening. I just hoped I’d get something easy and be able to impress Andi.

  “Okay,” Hailey warned, frowning. “You guys are stuck with ‘scientific terminology.’ I originally downloaded this category for myself, so you can pass if you want.”

  “We’ll play,” I insisted, not wanting to look like a wimp or a dumbass. I was neither. “Unless Andi is afraid she won’t know the words and can’t give adequate clues…”

  Let’s see just how competitive my little nerd could get.

  “It’s go time,” she replied, evil grin firmly in place.

  I nodded my head, took hold of the tablet, and held it up to receive my first hint.

  “Ooh, ooh,” she stammered. “Blank and Eve…from the bible…”

  “Adam?” I questioned. That wasn’t a science term. Unless…

  “Atom!” I amended, finally understanding where she was going with this. All she really had to do was get me to say the word. As long as I paid attention to the fact that it had to be science related, I was golden. Returning her smile, I eagerly flipped the tablet and waited for the next hint.

  “Shit,” Andi mumbled. “Um…every month a girl gets her…”

  “Allowance?”

  “No…if she’s not pregnant…”

  “Period!”

  “Yes…put that together with my kitchen furniture over there,” she shouted while flapping her arm and pointing to the other room. “Make a sentence!”

  “Period table…periodic table of the elements!” I yelled, getting way too excited over this game.

  “YES! Flip the tablet!”

  We rushed through a rapid sequence of clues and answers as though we were of one mind and had played this countless times before.

  “Plant Science!”

  “Botany!”

  “Ben Franklin got zapped while flying a kite!”

  “Electricity!”

  “The little red headed guy from the Muppet show…a vial of liquid…”

  “Beaker!”

  “The thing a scientist looks through to see a tiny virus!”

  “Microscope!”

  “Newton’s law of BLANK. In outer space you’re weightless!”

  “Gravity!”

  BUZZ.

  Andi leapt into my arms and gave me a giant victory hug. If we wouldn’t have been in a room with her parents and sister, I might have taken the opportunity to turn that celebratory embrace into so much more. My girl smelled amazing from whatever shampoo she used on her hair, and it took all my willpower to pull away after a suitable length of time had passed.

  The night soon descended into chaos with Hailey laughing so hard she had to run to the bathroom to prevent an accident. Andi informed me that this was a regular occurrence and not to be alarmed.

  “Don’t embarrass your sister in front of the guest,” her mother chastised with a smile, clearly amused by her two daughters and their gentle teasing of each other.

  “Don’t blame me,” Andi replied, holding her hands up in a show of innocence. “I tried telling her to wear a diaper, but the girl is too stubborn to listen to my advice.”

  Involuntarily yawning, I quickly put a hand up to cover my mouth so as not to be rude.

  “Are we keeping you up too late?” Steve asked with concern. “I hope you don’t have to work tomorrow, Roman. We wouldn’t want you falling asleep on the job after partying too hard the night before.”

  “Dad! This is practically the furthest thing from actual ‘partying,’ that you can get,” Andi declared in embarrassment while using air quotes to draw attention to the word. “He probably stays up well past midnight raising hell. It’s only quarter after ten!”

  “Nope,” I disagreed. “I’m way too old for that. This is about all I can handle. You people are pretty competitive. I’m just glad to be holding my own.”

  I opened my mouth to smile and another yawn erupted in its place.

  “I’m sorry. I was up way too early for work this morning and I have to help a buddy put on a new roof tomorrow. I really should be going home and getting some sleep. I’ve intruded on your family party enough as it is.”

  I stood up to leave and was met with a chorus of protests. Andi’s entire family thanked me for helping to celebrate her dad’s birthday, and I honestly felt like I fit in with them even though we just met. They were extremely welcoming and friendly…behavior that was quite foreign to me.

  “You’re a formidable player, Roman,” Steven complimented while giving me a pat on the back. “I hope to see more of you in the coming weeks. You appear to be a fine young man, not to mention the fact that Andi seems quite fond of you.”

  “What did I tell you about embarrassing our daughter?” her mother warned while shaking her head. She then turned her attention to me and admitted, “I agree with everything he just said, but I’m not saying it out loud because I don’t want to get in trouble. Oops! I guess it’s too late for that!”

  Hailey raised an eyebrow and mumbled, “Remind me never to bring anyone home to meet my parents. This is all the evidence needed to firmly cement that decision.”

  Andi, meanwhile, simply grabbed my hand and led me out into the hallway as I waved goodbye to her family. Once the apartment door was firmly shut and we finally had some privacy, she began to stutter an apology.

  “I’m sorry for that whole scene of—”

  I chose to ignore her and instead went in for the kiss I’d been dying to steal all night long. The chemistry between us at the escape room had been electric and I needed to make sure it wasn’t beginner’s luck.

  Andi’s soft lips parted, our tongues met and began to weave in a choreographed rhythm, and I realized this was no fluke. She was made for me. From the way her hot little body fit perfectly when pressed against mine, the sweet smell of her perfume as it invaded my senses, and the way every cell of my being seemed to wake up and take notice of this amazing creature standing in the hallway currently whimpering under my masterful touch.

  I had it bad for the woman.

  Which, in my line of work, was a fatal flaw.

  No, I’m not talking about my nine to five job…I’m talking about the other one. The one that I’d like to pretend didn’t exist at all, yet I couldn’t get out of my head. Even if I tried, several people were there to remind me.

  Fuck them. Fuck them all.

  I had a little bit of time yet. A little longer to pretend I could have everything I ever wanted.

  I just had to try not to hurt Andi in the process.

  And I hadn’t yet found a way to accomplish that.

  Staring up at me with a beautiful innocence, she mumbled words I could barely hear.

  “You’ve definitely earned my phone number.”

  We did the technology dance, pulling out cell phones and swapping digits.

  “I really did have a great time tonight, Andi,” I confessed. “I’d love to see you tomorrow, but I’m not sure how long it’s going to take to do the roof for my co-worker. He’s a hard-working guy but doesn’t have enough cash to hire out the job. I offered to help him because I have experience laying shingles and he has none. It’s hard physical labor and I’m going to be dead tired by the end of the day. Maybe we could get together on Sunday? I’ll bring lunch and a movie? Or we could go out. It’s up to you…if you’re interested.”

  “Hell yeah,” sh
e responded, eagerly nodding her head. “Just so you know…this is a date then.”

  “Yeah…” Where was she going with this? Of course it was a date.

  Andi must have noticed the blank expression on my face, because she opened the floodgates and began speaking a mile a minute.

  “The first time with me, you, Cara and Tyler, I was specifically told fifty times that it was not a double date. My friend made it abundantly clear that it was a platonic group outing and that’s all. So I’m just confirming that this is a date on Sunday.”

  “Really? You have to confirm that?” I asked in mock outrage while barely holding back a grin. “Do you think I go around kissing all the girls the way I just kissed you? What kind of a jackass do you take me for?”

  “I’m not sure. Maybe you should kiss me again,” she suggested with a gleam in her eye. I was beginning to like flirty Andi.

  “Maybe, if you play your cards right, I’ll do more than kiss you on Sunday. This Sunday. The day after tomorrow. The day when I’m going on a date with a beautiful girl named ‘Andromeda.’ Not a friendly meet-up between friends, but a sexy romantic date between a man and a woman.”

  Leaning over and cupping her chin in my hand, I kissed Andi with every ounce of passion I had in me. Blending tender, sexy, charming, dominant, possessive, and any other trait that I could throw into the mix, I made it abundantly clear that I wanted her.

  Finally pulling away, I studied Andi from head to toe in order to see what effect I had on the woman.

  Gasping, weak in the knees, eyelids half closed in ecstasy, goofy grin plastered all over her face.

  Bingo. I think I made my point.

  “Are we on the same page now?” I asked arrogantly.

  “Mmhmm,” she murmured. “I’m on that page. I like that page. It’s a damn good page. I want to keep reading that page.”

  “Excellent. Go back to your dad’s party and have sweet dreams tonight. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “And you’ll see me on Sunday,” she declared happily.

  “Absolutely.”

  I gave my girl one last quick kiss and made an escape before I was further tempted to take her with me. It had been far too long since I had the pleasure of female companionship. Especially with someone like Andi. Smart, funny, beautiful. She was the whole package.

  As I drove home from her apartment with a smile on my face, appreciative after experiencing the way a real family is supposed to behave, I got pulled back to reality when my phone rang.

  It was my douchebag cousin.

  “Did you go to Andi’s apartment and get her phone number? Did you find out any details that might help us down the road? You’ve got to get your ass in gear and figure this shit out. We don’t have that much time left.”

  The last thing I needed was more pressure from him right now. I felt guilty enough already. Andi was a good woman…and after meeting her parents and sister…that just made things even worse. She deserved a nice guy. Someone to have a future with, someone she could trust, someone decent. Basically, all the things I wasn’t. Now was the absolute worst time for such an amazing woman to drop into my lap. Believe me, I’d try anything to find a way out of the shitstorm that swirled around my life like a category five hurricane…but I had no options. Not under the circumstances.

  It’s a damn shame is what it was. Just another reason to hate my family. As if I needed another one. There were plenty already.

  “I went to Andi’s place but she didn’t buzz me in,” I replied truthfully. For some reason the exterior entrance to her apartment building was wedged open, so I walked right in and knocked on her door, never even having to use the intercom security system. I found it best to add some truth to your lies so they flowed more smoothly off the tongue. Just another trick I learned from dear old dad. “Maybe she had plans and wasn’t home. Don’t worry about it. I’ll try again tomorrow.”

  “I’m getting sick of you wasting precious time. I didn’t hear one single question about her job come out of your mouth when we were in the escape room. What the fuck, Roman? Are you doing this or not? I have no problem bringing in outside help to get things handled properly.”

  Forcing myself not to erupt, keeping my temper in check, and not playing my hand, I casually countered, “You were busy screwing Cara, so that might explain why you didn’t hear my conversation with Andi. I guess the squeaks of the bed drowned out any of our discussion. Thanks for that, by the way. If you don’t even like the bitch, can’t you tone it down a little?”

  Change the subject and go from defense to offense. Another gem of advice from my parents on how to get yourself out of a sticky situation.

  “Just because you don’t like someone’s personality doesn’t mean they don’t have a killer body that’s ripe for the picking. It’s not my fault she keeps throwing herself at me. Why should I turn down a quick fuck with a hot chick? Life’s too short for that, man.”

  “Yeah, okay, whatever. I’ll talk to Andi tomorrow and let you know what happens,” I promised in an effort to buy myself some time. I just hope he believes me…

  Chapter Eleven

  Andi – Saturday Night

  As I tied the laces on my stinky rented bowling shoes, a myriad of emotions fought for the attention they so rightfully deserved.

  Annoyance, hurt, confusion, and regret all took up residence in my heart.

  What the hell was my problem now? Thank you for asking, but I have no logical answer for you. I wish I could explain it myself.

  The day actually started off pretty damn good. After the sizzling hot hallway interlude with Roman, I was high on life and loving everyone and everything. I slept like a baby, woke up with a smile on my face, and was ready to conquer the world.

  I survived the inevitable phone calls from my mom and Hailey demanding more details about Roman and congratulating me on finding such an amazing guy. Since he absolutely put all my fears to rest by proclaiming our Sunday plans as definitely a date, I had no reason to hide my feelings for him when speaking to the two people in my life that knew all my secrets.

  Honestly, I think they were more impressed with Roman’s game playing skills than anything else. Looks can fade over time, but being able to hold your own with my family and fit in with our dorkiness is truly priceless.

  Yes, I was on top of the world. I suspected nothing out of the ordinary. That is the reason I wasn’t suspicious when Cara called me at seven o’clock and told me to get ready for a surprise. That is the reason I had no apprehension when she insisted I put on something pretty and meet her at the bowling alley down the street in exactly fifteen minutes. That is the reason I was completely gobsmacked when I got to the bowl-o-rama and discovered just who was waiting there.

  Naïve Andi expected to find Cara, Tyler, and Roman. I foolishly assumed that Roman had finished the roofing job earlier than expected, and called around to see if his cousin was interested in hanging out.

  Stupid, Andi. Stupid, stupid, Andi.

  I should have known better. I should have noticed how poorly Roman got along with Tyler after their fight at the escape room, and realized he wouldn’t have willingly set up another group date. I also should have taken the time to ask Cara what was going on before agreeing to any plans.

  Some of us have to learn things the hard way.

  Imagine my surprise to pull into the bowl-o-rama parking lot, walk inside, and run into Cara, Tyler, and a third person that I’d never met before.

  “Hey, Andi!” Cara greeted me with a beaming smile while rushing over to make introductions. “This is Tyler’s best friend, Duke. He was totally excited to come out with us tonight and meet you!”

  I politely gave the man a shy ‘hello’ while trying to figure out what was happening. Why was this guy here instead of Roman? Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but I distinctly remember that Tyler’s buddy already had a girlfriend. That’s how this whole big adventure started in the first place. His best friend had to work late and bailed on their double d
ate to Rage Fest, thus leading me to be called at the last minute. Had Duke’s girlfriend suddenly got sucked into a black hole? Something fishy is going on…and I don’t like it one bit.

  “Hey, sweetheart,” he responded suggestively, eyeing me up from head to toe in a very uncomfortable way that I didn’t appreciate at all. There was really no reason for him to look at me like that. I wore light brown jeans, a tan and blue checkered plaid short-sleeved button down shirt, and white tennis shoes. Nothing about my outfit screamed ‘come and get it, boys!’ I mean…I was ready to bowl and nothing more. I didn’t even have too many buttons undone to show cleavage.

  In contrast, Duke was dressed to kill. The man was definitely a heart breaker. Just picture your average womanizing sleazeball with the charisma of a politician, the arrogance of an A-list movie star, and a lifetime supply of gel to make sure no hair was out of place.

  That was Duke in a nutshell. Skin tight black jeans showed off his tight ass, sparkling new name brand sneakers gave the impression of wealth, and silver aviator sunglasses perched atop his head on the off chance it got too sunny in the bowling alley and he needed eye protection. Or maybe he was hoping to go incognito and avoid the throngs of ladies bound and determined to throw themselves at him? Not sure. Perhaps he was hiding from his girlfriend? Maybe they broke up and she turned into a stalker? I can’t exactly ask that without looking like a lunatic.

  Let me not forget to mention that Duke was adorned with no less than four thick gold chains around his neck, wore a white v-neck t-shirt that was sized a lot smaller than it should have been in an effort to draw attention to rippling muscles, and he had his dark hair slicked up in a short, spiky style that was currently trending. At least that was how the guys wore it in all the celebrity gossip magazines that Hailey liked to read and pass along to me.