by Rona Jameson
Fallon slipped her other hand into mine and backed toward the door. “We need to get it over with and, hopefully, I won’t blush.”
Grinning, I moved closer until her back was up against the door, and captured a quick kiss. “You’ll blush,” I whispered, knowing that she wouldn’t do anything else as I unlocked the door. “I’ll get the car. Give me fifteen, twenty minutes.”
“Oh,” Fallon moaned, sliding down in the seat as I pulled into the driveway. Mom was out front pulling weeds while Dad came around from the back. It made me twitch having to face them and I felt like a younger version of myself about to get in trouble for something.
Without looking at Fallon, I climbed from the car and hugged Mom.
“Did you have fun last night?”
If only she knew!
“The best night,” I admitted, and smiled over the top of the car at Fallon, who, as predicted, had gone bright red.
Mom rushed around and scooped Fallon up in her embrace. “Did you too?”
“Yes, Mom. It was amazing.”
I grinned like an idiot from behind Mom before straightening my features and turned toward Dad, who was watching us both closely. Dad didn’t say anything but a frown appeared across his brow as we headed inside.
“I’m going to get changed,” Fallon stated, trying to make a quick escape.
She wasn’t quick enough.
“Can I talk to you both in the kitchen?” Dad asked in a tone that meant no argument.
Fallon glanced at Mom and Dad while we waited for her to come back downstairs. She looked scared, so I wrapped my arm around her neck and kissed the top of her head, not caring what anyone thought right then. She was mine to protect and that was what I was doing.
“Where did you go last night?” Dad asked before our butts hit the chairs.
“You gave your permission for us to stay out?” I questioned, confused.
“Rogan, your dad wants to know exactly where you stayed because Chase turned up here looking for you. The both of you.” Mom fidgeted and took the seat across from us, showing a united front with Dad.
Chase knew where we were, so why the hell would he show up at the house? That didn’t make sense, which meant either Mom or Dad were lying to trip us up, or Chase really had shown up after prom.
Fallon continued to fidget, so I slipped a hand over hers on her lap and squeezed.
“The truth is I ditched Amber not long after we arrived. I didn’t want to be there with her, and she came out with a load of stuff about Fallon. We left and went to the park while the prom was still on, then afterword, Greg Flynn had invited us back to his place. We crashed there, as originally planned.”
“I don’t like the idea of you both spending the night together,” Dad muttered, shaking his head.
Mom looked startled and glanced between us both.
“We spent last night with about sixty other people,” Fallon added.
She hadn’t exactly lied either considering the motel had thirty rooms, and it was prom. At least I’d had the sense to actually leave my car outside of Greg’s house. It was a ten minute walk through the trees at the back of his house to the motel.
“Frank did say he saw Rogan’s car parked outside one of those large houses on the other side of town.” Mom turned to Dad.
Thank you, Uncle Frank.
“Are we done here? I know I want a shower and my own bed. Fallon probably does too.” I hauled her up and nodded toward the stairs.
I waited until she’d disappeared and then turned to our parents. “What is this about?”
“It doesn’t matter now,” Dad muttered.
Mom wouldn’t meet my gaze and finally got up to do the dishes.
“What did you think?” I placed my hands on the table in front of Dad, who didn’t even flinch. “Dad, you always get to the point. Why not now?”
“I’ll tell you why,” Dad shouted, leaning toward me, “because I don’t even want to think about it.”
“Think about what?” I yelled back, having no idea why I pushed him to answer. I didn’t want them to know anything. I didn’t want it to be spoken about. Was it my guilt talking?
“Are you sleeping with Fallon?” Dad actually asked and I felt like I was going to puke.
I was stunned at Dad’s outburst. Thank God, because it saved me from giving myself away.
“Who told you that?”
Mom snapped, “I’ve had enough of shouting in the house. This isn’t like us.”
“Who put that into your head?” Dad winced at my tone, and I laughed. “Let me guess, Uncle Frank.” I shook my head. “You do realize he’ll do anything to cause trouble between us all. He’s always been jealous of the happy family you have.” I turned away, and said over my shoulder, “Let’s not forget that it was because of him you put Fallon and me in the same bedroom. So, of course, doing that would make his tongue wag.”
Hitting the stairs hard, I slammed into my bedroom. I stripped and took another shower, feeling a deep-seated sadness as it started crawling through my body. Why did it have to be so wrong for Fallon and me to be together? Why?
Tears of anger fell as quickly as the water pounding down my back, and then they changed into tears of anguish. Our being together would cause too much pain, and even then, I wasn’t sure I’d last it out. I may only be eighteen, but I knew I’d always want Fallon by my side. The thought of anyone else made me sick. I didn’t need anyone else, just her.
But would I always have her?
25
Fallon
After being confronted by our dad, it had made us realize just how close we were to being caught. But it didn’t matter to us. We couldn’t stop; we just made sure to never touch at the house anymore. There was no more sneaking around. It had become too risky.
We now had our own private place close to the river where we could be alone. It was where Rogan had made love to me numerous times.
It had been here while I’d lain, secure in his arms that I’d realized summer was moving too quickly for us. We spent lazy days here or further along the river with our friends, Chase having not turned up at the house the night of prom looking for us. But before we knew it, we’d have to say goodbye. I didn’t want that. I wanted to cling to Rogan and beg him not to leave, or to take me with him.
“A nickel for your thoughts,” Rogan whispered, a long blade of grass between his lips.
I rested my chin on his chest and held his gaze. “I’m thinking about you and college and how I don’t want to say goodbye to you.”
“I’m only going to be a few hours away.”
“Ten hours round trip,” I added miserably.
He ran his fingers through my thick hair. “Me going to college isn’t the end of us, Fallon. You know that, right? Nothing will ever stop me from being with you.”
“I know.” I chewed on my bottom lip. “I’ve been thinking about driving again.” It was the truth but it made me sick to my belly thinking about it. I hadn’t driven since the accident.
Rogan’s hands massaging my scalp paused. “Don’t push yourself. Wait until you feel ready, and not because you feel that you have to.”
Sighing, I rested my face against his chest, comfortable in his embrace. “I’m afraid, but I’m also angry at myself for not getting right back into driving as soon as I was well enough. I’ve left it too long.”
I felt him shake his head in the vibration from his body. “One day you’ll suddenly get the urge to drive. I really believe that will happen.”
Silence surrounded us for a long time and I was in the middle of a brief nap when Rogan said, “I want a house by the ocean, and I want to share it with you and a dog.” He chuckled. “Cats too, if you want.”
I smiled. “What brought that on?”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about our future. To have a relationship out in the open, we’ll have to move away from here. We’ll make new friends. He sat up, keeping me straddled over him. “I have it all planned.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” He grinned. “I promise you, Fallon,” he said, excited, his eyes alight. “One day, we’ll be together the way we should be.”
Listening to Rogan talk about our future made me lighthearted and filled me with joy, but there was also fear buried just below the surface. Fear of the unknown; fear that, one day, our lives would come crashing down around our ears.
“I don’t want to go anywhere right now, but the others will be at the house soon.”
“Hmm,” I mumbled, wanting to stay in our secret place, too.
Julia was quiet in the back garden with the guys. They were sitting on lounge chairs talking, and I was afraid to join them in case they were discussing college. I wasn’t naïve. I was well aware of what college guys got up to and that scared me. Not because I didn’t trust Rogan, which I did, but because he’s a hot looking guy and the girls are going to be all over him. So I certainly didn’t want to hear Leon and Chase’s plans for any of it.
I caught Julia’s quick glances toward the house and was sure she’d figured out that I was using the excuse of making drinks for everyone to hide. Julia would be right too.
On a heavy sigh, I turned and picked up the tray with the homemade lemonade, along with sliced pound cake.
Nothing felt real as I walked across the lawn and it hurt that I couldn’t show how much I loved Rogan. He looked so handsome relaxing on the lounger wearing his long-sleeved tee and sweat pants. I wore yoga pants and one of Rogan’s sweatshirts.
Placing the tray down on the table, I felt Rogan’s eyes on me while everyone else dug into the refreshments. So I gave in to what I wanted and climbed on the lounger with him. I curled up against him and sighed when his arm wrapped around me. He kissed the top of my head and I didn’t move. The silence from our friends didn’t even bother me.
“You two are weird.” Julia sat on the lounger facing me. “You need a boyfriend.”
Rogan tensed against me at Julia’s words and his hand on my waist dug in before he realized what he was doing.
“And you”—she pointed at Rogan—“need a girlfriend.”
“Julia, I’m eighteen and in no rush.” He hesitated. “Besides, if anyone came sniffing around Fallon, I’d have to kill them.” He grinned. “So don’t go getting ideas about setting her up, or me for that matter.”
Leon kicked the bottom of the lounger. “You act like lovers,” he grouched before joining Julia.
“Get off their case,” Chase said from behind us. “Things are changing and we’ll be college freshmen while the girls will be back here finishing high school.”
“Thanks for that reminder,” Rogan complained.
“I’m planning on having the whole college experience,” Chase continued. “This is why I’m not attached like you guys.”
“What?” Leon jerked his gaze toward Rogan and me. “You need to tell us something?” He narrowed his eyes.
“Okay, bad choice of words,” Chase muttered. “You have Julia, and Rogan and Fallon are always together is all I meant.” He trailed off into silence. “Jeez, lighten up.”
“Not funny, man.” Leon stood and tugged Julia with him. “We’re heading out. Have fun, assholes.”
“I’ll call you later,” Julia shouted as Leon dragged her behind him.
“Sorry. Now I really feel like the odd one out,” Chase added.
“Don’t worry about it,” Rogan said. “They’ll forget about the time I spend with Fallon once we’ve separated.” He tightened his hold. “I won’t, though.” He placed another kiss on the top of my head.
“What’s going to happen when you’re gone? I mean…” Chase trailed off.
Rogan moved us into a sitting position, me between his legs with my back against his chest. “I can’t switch off what I feel because what I’m doing with Fallon isn’t allowed. I love her. No distance is going to change that.” He looked at me snuggled in his arms. “I’m probably going to be an asshole when we’re not together, but you’ll get used to it,” he said to Chase.
Rogan held Chase’s gaze, and I felt him sigh. “Mom and Dad are home.”
Groaning, I reluctantly moved to sit beside him with a small gap between us. “I hate this.” The tears on my lashes slowly fell as I listened to our parents moving around in the house.
“You’re staying for dinner, right?” Rogan wasn’t really asking Chase, he was telling him that we needed him to stay.
“One of these days”—Chase lay back on the lounger—“you’re going to get caught and I won’t be around to act as a buffer.” He glanced between us. “I love you guys and I consider you both family, so please, if for no other reason, be careful.”
“We try to be.” I said so quietly I wasn’t sure they heard me.
“Try harder,” Chase replied. “The thing is, if anyone is really looking at you both, they’ll see what I do.”
Rogan tilted his head at one of his best friends.
“I see the connection you share, and I see that it goes a lot deeper than it should. I’ve seen it for years. Since before either of you knew yourselves. Just be careful.”
Rogan’s fingers slipped over mine and I smiled at the feel of his touch. Anyone looking wouldn’t know we held hands, but we did, even if it was brief.
Standing, Rogan brushed my thigh with his fingers and I joined him, along with Chase, whose stomach loudly rumbled. Laughing, I teased, “You planned on staying for dinner regardless of Rogan’s command, huh?”
“I distinctly remember hearing your mom state that it was burgers on the grill tonight.” Chase grinned. “No way am I missing your dad’s burgers.”
I winked at Rogan and then wrapped an arm around Chase’s waist, his arm wrapping around my shoulders. He kissed me on the top of my head just like Rogan always did. It didn’t feel the same, but Chase offered Rogan a wicked grin. “She likes me more than you.”
“Don’t tease him.” I poked Chase in the stomach.
He caught my hand. “No tickling.”
I rolled my eyes and caught the look exchanged between Mom and Dad as we approached. I knew they thought something was going on between Chase and me, and I didn’t mind them thinking that. Even Chase didn’t mind because it helped keep the speculation off of him.
“We got you some bedding and things for college today.” Mom grinned, pulling Rogan to her for a hug. “I’m going to miss my baby.”
Dad rolled his eyes behind Mom’s back. “Don’t worry, you will still have Fallon.” He grinned wider when he noticed the look of horror on my face.
“I’m more than capable of looking after myself.” I moved over to Dad and smiled against his chest as he pulled me in close.
“I know you are, sweetheart.” He kissed me on the cheek. “It’s going to be strange for you as well with Rogan being away.”
Tears formed on my lashes, which I rapidly blinked away, not wanting anyone to see how upset I really was.
I dreaded the day he left, knowing things were going to be different between us no matter how much Rogan insisted we’d always be the same.
It was down to minutes before Rogan left for college, and I still didn’t know how to say goodbye to him. He’d be home for Thanksgiving, but it wouldn’t be the same as having him with me all the time.
My hands trembled as I heard a soft knock on the bedroom door before Rogan slipped inside.
The moment our eyes met, I knew he was just as upset.
Tears welled in my eyes as he reached for me, his face burrowed into my neck. His arms held me against his warm body.
Everything inside of me hurt to the point that I was afraid I would fall to pieces. My throat ached with anguish as I tried to hold back until he’d left. I didn’t want him to witness how heartbroken I was.
Rogan pulled away, and cupped my face, searching for something and that was when it happened. I smothered a sob and fled, hot tears slipping down my cheeks.
Rogan pounded downstairs behind me, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I flung the
backdoor open and ran out into the heavy downpour currently water logging the footpath around the edge of the garden.
My feet splashed in the water while my tears continued to blind me. I knew exactly where I was going as I ran away from Rogan leaving me.
By the time I arrived at our place by the river, I was drenched to the skin, my hair dripping.
Rogan burst through the tall grass just as drenched, his breathing fast and heavy.
“Do you think this is easy for me?” he shouted, moving closer, angry. “I’m going off to college without the girl I love and it’s killing me.” His voice broke and a tear rolled down his cheek. “I don’t want to go, but if we want a future together then I don’t have a choice, and neither do you.”
“I love you,” I sobbed, throwing myself into his arms, searching for his lips.
My lips smothered his groan, as his firm mouth demanded a response from mine. His tongue sent shivers of desire racing through me, warming me through to my broken heart.
Our tears fell together under the tree we’d claimed as ours at the beginning of summer. We slowly parted and stared at each other, we knew things were changing in our lives and that we had no control over it.
Rogan cupped my face and brushed at my tears with his thumbs, smiling through his own. “Tears in the rain,” he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on each of my eyelids and the tip of my nose. “I love you, Fallon.” His last kiss was placed on my forehead where he lingered.
“I love you, too.” I forced myself to smile as he slowly backed away and disappeared from view.
I raised my face to the sky, letting my tears fall with the rain.
26
Rogan
Being a freshman in college sucked big time when the girl I was in love with was back home. I knew she was just as miserable as I was, but I was relieved her tears had stopped. Every time it had rained since I’d left, it had reminded me of Fallon and her tears in the rain. It was heartbreaking, but she had been so beautiful standing in the rain, soaked to the skin and clinging to me. It had killed me to drive away, knowing Fallon was alone by the river. Mom had looked worried when I’d asked her to check on Fallon after I’d gone.