by A. D. Ellis
My heart fluttered when he melted into her.
“They all come from bad trauma?” Grif whispered and I knew he was remembering his own parents and trauma.
“The one who got to go back to his mom was the least affected. She’d been selling drugs. He was in foster care while she got her CNA license. Now that she’s making legal money, the courts feel she can care for him. The grandma lives with them so she can watch him when Mom is at work. He’s school-aged. I met the mom; I think they are in a better situation now.”
I poured cherry pie filling into the pie crust. Not the canned filling; Momma would die before using that. I was talking real pie cherries, the red-tart pitted kind. “The other boys have it worse?”
Momma rubbed her chest before dabbing her eyes with her apron. “Oh, those poor babies. Malnourished, broken bones, locked in dark closets, and burned in hot water baths.” She shuddered. “Maybe two of the most traumatized little ones I’ve ever seen.”
I didn’t even think when I heard Grif gasp. I put my arm around him and pulled him close.
“Brothers?” I asked, not taking my arm from Grif’s shoulders.
“Yes, two-years-old and three-years-old. Different fathers from what I was told. One of the fathers is incarcerated. The other was part of the abuse. Both the mom and that father are in jail right now. But based on the history and severity of abuse, both have lost their rights to the children. The boys were adopted by a beautiful couple from California. Two dads, great jobs, one works from home, already had an amazing nanny lined up with a great family support system. I think those boys will end up just fine. More than fine.”
“It’s always good when a kid gets the perfect forever family,” Griffin whispered.
I nearly lost it. I put my lips against the top of his head almost as if I was kissing his head. “The forever family wins in that case too.”
Griffin took a shaky breath and moved from my arms to add some pieces of butter to the pie he was working on before covering it with the top crust and cutting slits in the crust to vent it for baking.
As the preparations drew to a close, Momma washed her hands and surveyed the kitchen. “Well, boys, it looks like we’ve done as much as possible for now. Thank you for your help. Who’s in the mood for a game?”
“Yes!” Griffin whooped and rushed from the kitchen only to return with the Disney edition of Trivial Pursuit™.
“Oh Lord, we may as well all prepare to have our asses handed to us.”
“On a platter,” Grif agreed with a swish of his hips and a twirl as he left the room to set up the game.
Two hours later, Grif had won two games and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. I wasn’t a master of Disney like Griffin, but having him, Momma, and Pops by my side while we all laughed and joked was quite possibly one of the best things on earth.
“Well, I’m thoroughly beaten and ready for bed.” Pops stood and stretched. “Good to have you boys home. Sleep tight.” Pops shuffled from the room. I recognized at that moment that he seemed a lot older than when I’d last been home. Pops wasn’t a big man, but he’d always been larger than life in his quiet supportive ways. It gave me pause to realize he was aging.
“I’m going to check the kitchen, then I’ll be up.” Momma stood and kissed us both before bustling off to the kitchen.
“Does that woman ever stop?” Grif mused.
“Not that I’ve ever seen.”
Griffin gathered up the game before we headed up the stairs.
“You tired?” I asked.
“Tired, yes. Sleepy, no.”
“Want to watch a movie?”
“Yeah. You can choose, but you have to do it my way.” Griffin grinned.
“Is your way telling me the movie you want to watch?”
“No, it’s fair.” Griffin grabbed an old tie from the closet.
“Oh, kinky,” I teased.
“Shut up.” He tied it around my eyes and maneuvered me to the DVD shelf. He spun me five times and then told me to reach out and pick a movie.
I stumbled to the right, but Grif caught me and held me steady. I reached for the shelf, running my hand along the DVD cases a couple times before picking one.
“Yes!” Griffin crowed. “Disney for the win.”
I yanked the tie from my face and rolled my eyes. “That shelf is ninety percent Disney, of course it won. What did I pick?”
Griffin smiled and waved Peter Pan in front of my face.
I shook my head and chuckled. “Well then, let’s get it started.”
Grif and I settled into bed propped against pillows, our shoulders, hips, and thighs touching.
After watching most of the movie with Grif whispering much of the dialogue, my eyes began to flutter shut. As the golden ship took to the sky and floated across the screen, I slipped into a pleasant sleep knowing Griffin was in my bed and by my side.
I had the most amazing dream. Griffin was in my arms, he wanted to be with me, we were a couple and everything was perfect. We were content and happy.
And then I woke up and Griffin really was in my arms. He was warm, cuddled in my embrace, his nose nuzzled against my chest. I wanted this every day for the rest of my life. Without thinking, I ran my hand down Grif’s back.
He tensed and I knew he was awake.
A thousand thoughts ran through my mind.
“Grif.” My voice was horse.
“Yeah?” He whispered.
My heart thundered like I’d run a marathon. “What if… what if what we think is our reality is actually keeping us from all we’ve ever dreamed?” I held my breath in anticipation.
“I’m dreaming, right? Waking in your arms while you philosophize with Peter Pan quotes has to be a damn dream.” Griffin’s words were gravely and he wriggled in my arms.
I took his answer as encouragement. He didn’t flinch being in my arms. He didn’t gasp and try to get away. He didn’t tell me I was being ridiculous. Yet. So, I continued.
“You mean more to me than anyone in this whole world.” I murmured the words against his head.
“More Peter Pan? You’re pulling out the big guns.” Griffin’s smile was evident in his voice. “What do you want me to say, Q?”
“I’m tired of waiting on you between our reality and all we’ve ever dreamed.” Okay, I was likely running the Pan quotes into the ground, but it helped me say what I wanted to say.
“I never asked you to wait. You don’t have to wait for me. Where is all of this coming from?”
“That’s not the point. I’ll always wait for you. And this isn’t new; I’ve wanted more with you probably since that jack-off session way back when. You and me, G. It’s the only thing that makes sense to me. But I’m ready to stop waiting. I want to change our reality. I want those dreams.”
Griffin was silent for several moments before he sighed. “But our reality is good. What if our dreams can’t match what we have?”
“But what if they can?” I rested my hand on Grif’s lower back and pulled him close. “Why don’t we jump? Take the chance? Let this happen?”
Grif shook his head against my chest. “It’s our history. There’s so much against us. We’re foster brothers, you’re private school versus me being public, you’re sporty while I’m Disney, dancing, and makeup.”
“And I’ve loved those differences from the first day I met you.” I rubbed his back.
“You did not love everything about me from day one,” Griffin argued.
“Okay, maybe not day one. But not long after. At least from the night we pushed these beds together.”
“I’m your grandparents’ adopted son. How are you going to explain our relationship if we get together?” Griffin continued to voice his concerns.
“Tell the fuckers I’ve got a hot-ass brother and dare them to say something about it?” I laughed and hugged Grif tight. “I’ll respect your choice if you are adamant about not taking a chance on us. But I need you to know I want something more with you. I love you and
that will never change.”
“But what if we don’t work? I can’t lose you.” Grif’s words wavered.
“You’ve had me since we were ten years old. No matter what happens, you’ll always be my brother and my best friend.” I pushed him from me so I could tip up his chin and see his eyes. “I think what we have could explode into something amazing, what dreams are made of, a forever type thing.”
“Forever?” Griffin squeaked.
“You’re stuck with me forever either way. I figure we might as well see how things go with adding another layer to our relationship. If it doesn’t work, we go back to being only brothers and best friends. But think about how awesome it would be to go from two B’s to three B’s.” I raised a brow and grinned.
“Three B’s?”
“Brothers, besties, and boyfriends.”
“I’m pretty sure those three words aren’t usually put together.” Griffin shook his head but he smiled.
“Yeah well, we’ve always been unique. Why stop now?”
Griffin cuddled back into my chest. “So how would it work? Just boom we’re boyfriends?”
“Nah, I’m thinking we could flirt and mess around, take things slow and see how we’re feeling about it. If it’s weird to mess around, we’ll call it quits.” I breathed softly against his ear. “But I remember that night in this bed.” My lips brushed his ear. “I remember that kiss.” I pushed my hips into him. “I don’t think it’s going to be weird at all.”
Griffin groaned. “Okay. Can I think about it? Maybe take a shower to clear my head?”
I nodded. “I’m not going to be mad if you say no. I’ll be sad because I want you in my arms and my bed, but you’ll never not be in my heart, so it’s all good.”
Griffin nodded and rolled from the bed.
“You and Griffin seem to be doing very well.” Momma stood at the kitchen counter stirring up what I assumed was pancake batter. No one made buttermilk pancakes like Momma. She’d ruined me for all other pancakes.
I narrowed my eyes. What was she insinuating? “Yeah, we’ve settled in well. It’s great to be back together. I loved spending so much time with Dad, but I missed Grif like crazy.”
“Mmhm.” Momma hummed as she added the final touches to the batter. Then she flicked some water on the griddle. As it sizzled, she smiled over her shoulder at me. “Perfect. Come help me with these pancakes. You pour. I’ll flip.”
I smiled. Making pancakes with Momma had been a favorite childhood memory. It usually involved whichever foster kids were staying with us at the time, but I loved when Momma would pull a stool to the counter and let all of us kids take turns pouring the batter, and practice flipping the pancakes. I poured three connected circles in a Mickey Mouse shape. “For Grif,” I explained.
“I figured,” Momma replied dryly. “You know, I knew the moment I stuck the two of you together that you’d have something special. I knew you’d protect him. I knew you’d have a brotherly love. But when that turned into an inseparable friendship, I couldn’t have been happier.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t thrilled sharing my room with him, but it all worked out best in the end. Momma always knows what’s she’s doing.” I bumped my hip against hers.
“And now?” Momma busied herself with flipping the pancake.
“Now? Griffin and I are great. Brothers and best friends always. No worries there.” I knew Momma was like a dog with a bone. She had something to ask or say or a point to make. I settled in and waited.
“Pops and I were friends first.”
“Yeah, I remember. That’s a great story.” It really was. I couldn’t imagine my grandparents as young kids, but I loved hearing about them growing up as best friends.
“Oh, I used to get so mad at that boy. But he was my very best friend from the very first day he moved next door. We were about five and took to each other like fish to water. When we were older, Pops wanted us to date, but I was worried it would mess things up.”
“But it didn’t, right?” I knew Griffin and I would be taking a risk, but I also knew I’d never stop loving him or considering him my brother and best friend, so I had concluded that the risk was worth it.
“No, it didn’t mess anything up. We were so used to being together and taking care of each other that adding a romance side to it came as easily as breathing.” Momma waited for me to pour more batter. “But it doesn’t always work out so easily.”
“If you knew two best friends were contemplating becoming more than friends, what would your advice be?” I trusted Momma with my life, and I had no issue telling her what was going on with Griffin and me.
She was quiet for a moment. “I’d tell them to respect their original relationship, protect it at all costs, and never stop loving each other. If a romantic relationship is meant to be between best friends then it will feel right, come easy, and be simple.” Momma took a deep breath. “The unknown is scary. But the what-could-be has a chance to be so dang amazing, why risk missing out?”
“That’s what I’m hoping for.” I poured another pancake as Momma removed one.
“And if the relationship was built on trust, friendship, love, and respect then it can withstand an upset if a romance doesn’t work out.” Momma scooped up the last of the pancakes onto a platter. “What’s Griffin thinking about this possible new possibility?”
“I think he’s more like young you; I’m more like young Pops.”
“Ah, yeah. I can see that. Griffin has had a lot of uncertainty in his life, I’m sure the worry of losing the security of your friendship weighs on him.”
“But how do I convince him that I’ll never leave him, even if things don’t work out romantically?” I swiped a pancake from the platter and smiled when Momma smacked at my hand.
“You gotta be patient. Make a romantic relationship with his best friend so life-altering and fulfilling that he can’t resist. And if it peters out, you stay by his side because he’ll always be your brother and best friend.” Momma kissed my cheek and pulled me into a hug. “Now, go tell Pops and Griffin that breakfast is ready. You can shower after we eat.”
I hollered at Pops to come in for breakfast. Momma swatted me with a towel. “I could have done that myself, child.” I ran from the kitchen laughing. Once upstairs, I paused outside the bathroom door to tell Grif it was time to eat. Right before I made a smartass comment about saving me some water, I heard Grif’s low groan and the sound of something falling. Holy shit. Was Griffin jacking off in the shower?
I leaned against the door and willed my ears to hear more. But the water shut off soon after.
Was he thinking about me? Was waking up in my arms what made him need to rub one out? God, I hoped so.
Lost in thought, I jumped when the bathroom door opened.
Griffin stood there, wrapped in a towel with drippy hair and flushed cheeks. His wide eyes stared at me and his cheeks probably could have started a fire. “What are you doing?” His voice was a cross between a horny husky and a caught-in-the-act squeaky.
I smirked. “Just came to tell you that breakfast is ready.”
Griffin swallowed.
My cock jerked as I watched his throat. The steamy warmth of his damp body, the fresh scent of his soap, and the memory of his groan as he came in the shower mixed together to torment me. “So, yeah. Breakfast is ready. Hurry up and come down or the pancakes will be gone.”
Grif groaned again. “Pancakes? God, I love Momma’s pancakes.” He headed toward the bedroom.
“Same and I’m not saving you any.” I caught myself before slapping his ass. I wanted to touch him, but I needed to make sure he was onboard. “See you down there.”
8
Griffin
I watched as Quincy ate what had to be his eighteenth pancake and smiled when he pushed back from the table and announced he was stuffed.
“Momma, I’m going to shower. You can leave the dishes and Grif and I will take care of them.” Q kissed her on top of the head. “Thank you for brea
kfast.”
Momma patted his hand. “You’re welcome, baby. Enjoy your shower.”
My mind thought back to my shower. My cock had been rock hard from the moment I’d woken up in Quincy’s arms. I’d hoped the shower would relieve the issue, but it hadn’t. I’d taken my length in a soapy hand and stroked. Quincy’s words, his touch, everything about our morning together had come rushing back, and I came harder than I ever had. Hell, I’d even knocked a shampoo bottle off the damn shelf.
And finding Q outside the door almost made me hyperventilate. Had he heard me? What would he think if he figured out I was jacking off in the shower? Surely he knew I didn’t have a ton of experience with intimacy. I couldn’t be blamed for jerking off, right? Guys did it all the time. But they weren’t often thinking of their brother/best friend.
Quincy wanted more between us. God, I wanted more too. But we were so damn different. And I couldn’t stomach the thought of losing my best friend if things didn’t work out. Plus, Quincy had a lot more experience than me. I was sure of it. I’d given exactly one blow job in high school and it was a disaster. The guy had offered to return the favor, but I’d been shaking so badly and thinking of Quincy that I told him I was good. I’d had some kisses here and there, but no sexual contact beyond jerking off with Quincy and a poorly executed blow job in high school.
I wasn’t ashamed of my lack of experience. I wasn’t dying to add to my sexual repertoire just for the sake of adding to it either. And any chances I’d ever had to gain experience were always avoided or turned down. For exactly one reason. Quincy. Anything I’d ever wanted to do always seemed wrong unless it was with Quincy. And none of it could ever be with Quincy.
Right?
“Griffin.” Momma stood across the table, hands on hips, saying my name in a way that made me realize I’d totally zoned out.
“Huh? Oh, sorry. I spaced it.” I stood and took my plate to the sink.
“Why don’t you wash and I’ll dry. We need to get lunch cooking. We’ll eat around one o’clock since we had a later breakfast.” Momma bustled to bring dishes to the sink. “Duane can you put the turkey in. The oven is ready. Bird needs about three and a half hours to bake. I did the macaroni this morning so it just needs kept warm.”