A to Z

by Marie Sexton

  “So what happened? Did you tell him to go fuck himself?”

  “Not exactly.” I didn’t miss the look of disapproval on his face. “I just didn’t have a chance,” I said defensively, “that’s all. He called to cancel for this weekend, just like I knew he would. I let it go at that.”

  “So you gonna keep seein’ him?” he asked incredulously.

  “No.”

  He turned to look out the window, but I could tell he was smiling.

  First thing Monday morning, Ruby came in. She seemed upset.

  “Zach, I’ve had a vision,” she said immediately.

  “Was it a dream,” Angelo began suddenly, with a wicked grin on his face, “where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?”

  Ruby and I both gaped at him. “Of course not,” Ruby said with disgust. “Why would you even ask such a thing?”

  “Just wonderin’.” He was looking at her, but he held up a DVD case, facing me. Real Genius. I had no idea what that was supposed to mean.

  Ruby shook her head at him then turned back to me.

  “There was a bird. It tried to land in your hands, but a giant horse scared it away.”

  As usual when Ruby announced her visions, I had no idea how to respond. I just smiled. “That’s fascinating.”

  She nodded sagely. “I hope you’re not planning any horse riding this weekend.”

  Before I could answer, Nero Sensei burst through the door, breathless. “Do any of you own the blue convertible parked in front of Jeremy’s?”

  Which meant another kid had puked off the balcony.

  “Hope the top wasn’t down,” Angelo said lightly.

  Sensei shook his head as he headed back out the door. “No, but it’s a soft top, and Tim had cranberry juice before class. It’s gonna stain.”

  Ruby followed Nero out the door. Angelo turned to me. His eyes were sparkling and he was grinning from ear to ear. “Best job I ever had,” he said, and I had to smile back.

  THREE days later Tom came by the store. “Hey, baby. I missed you this weekend.”

  “I’m sure you did.” He didn’t seem to notice the sarcasm in my voice. He stepped closer and started to slip his arm around my waist. I took a step back, away from him. It didn’t seem right to have this conversation in front of Angelo, though. “Maybe we should go in the back and talk.”

  “No! ” Angelo said, and there was something like panic in his voice.

  I saw a flash of anger on Tom’s face, and then the smile was back. “Sure, baby. That sounds like a great idea.”

  “No.” Angelo sounded calmer this time. Tom’s back was to him, and he mouthed the words, “Don’t trust him,” then said out loud, “I’ll go in back.”

  Once he was in the office with the door closed, Tom started to reach for me again. I sidestepped him. “Tom, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

  He froze with his smile still on his face. “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t think this is really going anywhere. We don’t have anything in common. We never spend any time together. What you want and what I want is obviously not the same thing.”

  His smile was gone, and he wasn’t handsome anymore at all.

  He looked furious. “This is because of him, isn’t it?”

  I was baffled. “Who?”

  He pointed toward the office. “Him! Your little pet. What did he tell you about me?”

  That confused me. “Angelo has nothing to do with this.”

  “Bullshit!” He practically spat the words at me. “Whatever he said was a fucking lie.”

  “He never said anything about you at all.” That wasn’t exactly true, but I was pretty sure he wasn’t talking about Angelo calling him a dickhead.

  “It was him. He’s the one who came on to me!”

  Nothing would have surprised me more than that. I knew without a doubt that Angelo would never have done anything of the sort. “You’re telling me that Angelo came on to you?” I asked skeptically.

  He looked triumphant. “Yes!”

  I knew he was lying. Yet with all that smoke, there had to be fire somewhere. I obviously couldn’t trust his version of events, though. “Hey Ang! Can I talk to you?” The door opened, and he came out, but I could tell he was surprised to see that Tom was still there.

  “What’s up?”

  “Tom is under the impression that you’ve told me something about him.”

  “You mean,” he said scathingly, “something other than that he’s a dickhead?”

  I couldn’t believe he said that, and I couldn’t help but smile.

  Tom turned about ten more shades of red and looked like he was about to start tearing the place apart. “Yes, apparently something more than that. Something about you coming on to him.”

  His eyes flashed with anger. But there was no guilt, as there would have been if Tom had been telling the truth. “You think I would do that?”

  “No.”

  “You fucking liar!” Tom yelled.

  “Ang?”

  He looked right at me. “I know what he’s talkin’ ’bout. I never told you ’cause I didn’t want to upset you.”

  I didn’t have time to puzzle through what could have happened. Tom grabbed my arm. I turned to look at him. He was smiling, but it was a twisted smile, and he just looked evil. His voice had turned malicious when he said, “You’re wrong, Zach. You said that what you want and what I want aren’t the same thing. But you’re wrong. We do want the same thing. We both want for you to continue to rent here.”

  “You sick goddamn piece of shit motherf—”

  I interrupted Angelo—behind me, displaying an impressive talent for stringing every bad word he knew into a single sentence—to ask Tom, “Are you serious?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “I can’t believe what I’m hearing.”

  “We talked about this the first night, remember?”

  My mind flashed back to our first date. I was trying to remember exactly what he had said to me, but I couldn’t. All I remembered was being so attracted to him.

  I finally found my voice. “You’re actually saying that I can stay here as long as I let you fuck me.”

  He smiled and put his hand on my cheek, brushed his thumb over my lips, then whispered in my ear, “We don’t have to fuck. I’m perfectly happy to just take advantage of that sweet mouth of yours.”

  I pushed him back, turned away. I actually had to fight the urge to vomit. I halfway considered doing it on his shoes.

  Suddenly something flew past me, and I looked up to see Angelo shoving Tom hard toward the door. “Get the fuck out!”

  “Watch yourself, punk!” Tom snapped.

  Angelo walked up to him, kept walking up to him, until their chests were touching and they were nose to nose. Or would have been, if Angelo had been taller. Instead it was more like, nose to chin. Still, it was impressive. Tom actually backed up a step and bumped into the wall behind him.

  “Say that again, asshole.”

  “I’m not afraid of you,” Tom said, but the slight quake in his voice suggested otherwise.

  Angelo grinned at him, and it was a nasty kind of grin.

  “Oh yeah? Maybe you should be, white boy.”

  “Are you threatening me?”

  “Not so fuckin’ stupid after all, are you? Lemme give you some advice, dickhead. Get the fuck out of here. You come back, me and my homies gonna track you down and make you sorry.”

  “I could go to the cops.”

  “And tell them what? How you’re tryin’ to extort sexual favors outta your queer tenants?”

  “They won’t believe you.” And I had to think that Tom was right.

  Angelo’s grin got even meaner. “I got proof, man.” Without turning away from Tom, he pointed to the surveillance camera in the corner. The one that hadn’t even been turned on since Mr. Murray had retired back in the days of
VHS. But it did the trick. All the blood drained from Tom’s face. Angelo kept talking. “We got the whole thing on tape, man. So go ahead and bring the cops down here, and let’s all have a nice little fuckin’ chat.”

  “Look,” Tom said, and there was a note of panic in his voice.

  “I think this is just a misunderstanding. I only meant—”

  “We know exactly what you meant. I won’t say it again: get out.”

  “Okay.” Tom held his hands up in surrender. “It’s cool. I’m leaving.”

  Angelo moved back a step and gestured toward the door. Tom walked over and opened it, then turned to me. “You’ll be hearing from me,” he said. And then he was gone.

  …Angelo

  TOM finally leaves, and I turn ’round to see Zach starin’ at me like I’m his fuckin’ hero. Makes me feel about ten feet tall, too, to see that look on his face. ’Course, I’m also flyin’ high, just knowin’ he finally ditched that jock asshole. But I try to sound casual. “What?”

  I been a little worried that he’ll be all depressed over losin’ Tom, but he’s smilin’ at me. “‘White boy’?”

  I shrug. “Sounded good at the time.”

  “You have ‘homies’?”

  “No, man,” I tell him, “I was just fuckin’ with him. I never been in a gang.” He shakes his head at me. He’s still lookin’ at me with somethin’ like amazement on his face, and I feel myself blushin’. “I been in plenty of fights,” I tell him, “and even more almost-fights. It’s all about posturin’. You just gotta act tough.”

  “What if it didn’t work? What if he took a swing at you?”

  I grin at him. “Sensei say, ‘Big like door, swift like glacier’.”

  He actually cocks his head at me in puzzlement. “What?”

  I shake my head at him. “Never mind, man. It was a joke. A wasted one, apparently.” Still cracks me up that Zach can’t ever seem to keep up. But I also know we probably haven’t seen the last of Tom. “He’s gonna cause you all kinds of trouble. You know that, right? Won’t take him long to realize there wouldn’t be sound on that tape, even if the damn thing was actually on.”

  “Yeah, I know.” I can tell he doesn’t want to think about it yet.

  “What was he talking about, Ang?”

  “Nothin’.” But I know from the look he gives me he’s not gonna drop it. I don’t want to tell him that Tom thought we were lovers. Afraid he’ll see that I wish it was true. “That day you came in late, he was just bein’ an asshole, that’s all. Said if I didn’t put out for him, he’d tell you that I offered to do it for money.”

  Zach looks horrified. “I wouldn’t have believed him.”

  “I know, Zach.” I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I reach under the counter and pull out a box of movies. “Check this out.

  Forgot to show you earlier. Bought these from the kid across the hall in my buildin’. Said they came from his uncle. Bunch of old pirate movies. Gregory Peck. Burt Lancaster. Whole bunch of Errol Flynn.

  I never seen half of these. I gotta make room for them on the shelf.”

  “You bought them for the shop?”

  I’m not sure why that surprises him. “’Course, man. What else?”

  “How much did you spend? I should reimburse you.”

  “Don’t worry ’bout it.” Truth is, the kid didn’t know what he had. Sold me the whole box for twenty bucks.

  “Thanks, Ang.” I’m surprised by his voice. Like he’s really touched. And when I look up, the look on his face is like he wants to hug me. It makes me feel like I’m gonna melt away and be happy doin’ it, too, just ’cause he felt somethin’ for me at that moment. I know it’s nothin’ like what I feel for him, though. I hate bein’ so crazy in love with him. Be easier if I could reach inside and turn it off. I can’t stand that I just wait for these moments when somethin’ I do makes him happy. “Are we going to watch one of them tonight?”

  “You just assume I’m comin’ over?” I’m just tryin’ to get my balance again.

  “Only if you want to.”

  “No.”

  “No, you don’t want to come over?” Did I say that?

  “No, I got another movie picked out for tonight,” I tell him.

  “So, you are coming over?”

  Sometimes it’s like we’re not even speakin’ the same fuckin’ language. “Isn’t that what I just said?”

  So after closin’ A to Z, we go to his place. Stop on the way to grab some takeout Thai food. He’s a wimp and has to order everything mild. He thinks the stuff I eat is so spicy hot it should come with a waiver of liability. He actually said that once, but he was laughin’ when he said it. Just smellin’ it makes him sweat.

  Makes me laugh.

  Once we’re settled on the floor around the coffee table, me with a beer and him with a glass of wine, I put the movie in.

  “Is this another ‘cult classic’?” he asks me. He asks that every time. Ever since I made him watch THX 1138. He didn’t get that one at all. Since then I try to keep things a little more mainstream for him.

  “No, this one’s modern. V for Vendetta. You seen it?”

  He looks right in my eyes and smiles, and I swear my heart doesn’t even beat for a second. “Of course not.”

  I can’t help but grin back. “I think you’ll dig it.”

  ’Course I’m right. At the end, he looks over at me and says, “I liked that one.” He sounds amazed.

  “I picked it for you. It’s all ’bout standin’ up for yourself.

  ’Course there’s more to it than that. It’s about tyranny and what happens when people give up freedom for security. But it’s also ’bout decidin’ to fight for what you want.” I look over at him. Look into those amazin’ blue eyes. “You gotta decide what you want to fight for, Zach.”

  Zach…

  LIFE went on, for a little while, at least. Business at the store had picked up over the last few weeks, and I knew I had Angelo to thank for it. He knew everybody’s name and what kind of movies they liked. They always asked for suggestions, and he always gave them.

  The fact that people could actually find what they were looking for didn’t hurt either.

  Tom called once. I saw his name on the caller ID and didn’t answer. He left a message. “Hey, baby. I’m drawing up leases this week. I want to give you one more chance. Just give me a call, and we can work everything out. I promise.”

  I didn’t call him back.

  Two weeks later, I received a new lease in the mail. My rent had almost doubled. Failure to sign meant I had to quit the premises by the end of the month. That gave me about three weeks. There was a sticky note on top which said: We can still fix this. Call me.—T.

  “What happens now?” Angelo asked when I showed it to him.

  “I have no idea.”

  Ruby and Jeremy came in at the same time.

  “What’s wrong?” Jeremy asked.

  “I’m being evicted.”

  He looked shocked, but Ruby just nodded. “Me too.”

  “You’re not, Jeremy?”

  He shook his head. “No. Tom mentioned the rent might go up.

  But the lease that came today is for the same amount as always.

  Sensei said his went up a little but not too much.” I had to wonder if it was coincidence that the two straight men were the ones not being evicted. Or maybe it was more a matter of Sensei’s black belt and Jeremy’s seat on the city council.

  “You gonna fight that asshole?” Angelo asked Ruby.

  She smiled at him. “No reason to, dear. I was planning to retire after Christmas and move to Florida with my sister. This just means

  I’ll move a little sooner.”

  We barely talked the rest of the day. It was like we both felt some dark, ominous beast dogging our steps, just waiting for us to let our guard down. At the end of the day, Angelo showed up at my door. He had been coming over almost every night. I didn’t even ask him anymore. It just seemed to go without sayin
g that he would be there.

  “Thought you might like company.”

  “You thought right.” He blushed and turned away. “What are we watching tonight?”

  “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Wanted to find somethin’ happy, but,” he said with a shrug, “this one seemed appropriate.”

  I vaguely remembered reading the book in high school, but all I could really remember was a nurse with blond hair and big boobs.

  “What’s it about?”

  “How people will do bad stuff to get control over you. But I think maybe it’s about hope too.”

  “It’ll be great, Ang.” I had an urge to hug him, but I knew he would never tolerate that. Instead I grabbed the back of his neck and kissed the side of his head. He turned red and pushed me away, which made me laugh. “I’ll order pizza.”

  “Get jalapenos.”

  “Only on your half.”

  He was in an unusually somber mood. He wasn’t laughing or joking at all as we watched the movie, and I had no idea if I should try to talk to him or just leave him alone. Finally he looked over at me and said, “What you gonna do, Zach?”

  “I have no idea. I imagine I’ll have to close the store.”

  “Can’t just move?”

  “I guess I could. But I’ll never find another location as cheap as that place was. My profit margin is pretty small. I’m just not sure it’s worth it.” He looked more upset about it than I was. “It’s true what I told Matt. It’s amazing I’ve managed to stay in business this—”

  “Matt!” he suddenly said.

  The way he said it, I actually thought for half a second that Matt had walked into the room. I barely managed to stop myself from turning around to see if he was behind me. “What?”

  He was really getting excited now. “Matt! And Jared! They have a location. Remember? We should call them! You should go check it out. Jared said it’s just sittin’ there. His family owns it.

  They might give you a good deal. And they said there’s no movie rental place in Cobra. Or Cola. Or whatever fuckin’ town they live in!”