Amish Widow's Secret

by Samantha Price

  “I’ll go as soon as I eat breakfast. Do you want anything while I’m out, Mamm?”

  “Nee, denke.”

  “Neither do I,” Cassandra said.

  After breakfast, Cassandra helped her mother wash the dishes while her sister posted the letter to Aunt Maud.

  “What if she doesn’t post the letter?” Cassandra asked.

  “Jah, she will. She doesn’t want you here.” Mrs. Yoder gave a giggle.

  “That’s true. I forgot about that. She’ll be pleased to get rid of me again.”

  “I don’t know why you girls can’t get along.”

  “It’s her; it’s not me.”

  “And she’d say exactly the same thing.”

  Cassandra picked up another dish to dry. “I’ll try harder to be nice to her.”

  “Denke, that would please your vadder and me.”

  When Cassandra placed the dish down, she pressed her hands against her stomach. “Do I look pregnant? They’re not going to guess, are they?”

  “Nee, you can’t tell at all. They won’t guess, so don’t worry. We’ll tell them you need some time to rest after your rumspringa and have decided to go to Aunt Maud’s.”

  “I don’t know if they’ll believe I’d do a thing like that.”

  “That’s what you are doing. They won’t question it.”

  “Okay. I’m glad you and Dat are helping me through this. I wouldn’t know what to do by myself. I don’t have any close friends.” She glanced across at her mother and saw her face. Her mother was holding back tears. “Mamm, what’s wrong?”

  “I’m sad, that’s all. Sad that this has happened and you’ll have to give your boppli up.”

  “You should be happy. You shouldn't see it as a sad thing."

  "I suppose you're right. I just can't help thinking that I've done something wrong as a mother for you to end up in this state."

  Cassandra’s mouth fell open in shock. How could her mother say things like that about her?

  Mrs. Yoder shook her head. "I don't know where I went wrong with you."

  "Do you want my help with anything else?" Cassandra asked.

  Her mother looked at the stack of dry dishes. “Nee.”

  "I'll be in my room, then." Cassandra threw the tea towel down on top of the dry dishes. She walked up the stairs to her room, upset that her mother and father were always disappointed in her.

  In the middle of the afternoon, there was a knock on Cassandra's bedroom door. She’d stayed in her bedroom all day keeping away from her mother so she couldn't possibly disappoint her any further.

  "Jah?"

  "It's just me," Gretchen said.

  "Come in."

  Gretchen pushed the door open and stuck her head around the door. "Are you coming to help with dinner? There’s a ton of vegetables to peel."

  "Okay, I'll be down in a minute."

  "Gut."

  Before Gretchen shut the door, Cassandra said, "What difference will it make if I help you? I'm only one extra person and you and Mamm normally do the vegetables yourselves anyway."

  "So, does that mean you're coming to help us, or not?"

  "I don't know. I'll think about it for awhile."

  Gretchen took a step further into Cassandra’s room and placed her hands firmly on her hips. "You haven't changed. You're just as selfish as ever. Just as well you're giving the boppli away because you’d be a rotten mudder."

  "That's a dreadful thing to say, Gretchen. Wait ‘till I tell Mamm what you just said to me."

  "Now you're a turtle tattler as well!"

  Cassandra stuck her nose in the air. “I think it's called a 'tittle tattler,' which means a gossiper—and that’s not me, it’s you."

  "Jah, well you would know. You're just as selfish as ever." Gretchen abruptly turned and walked out the door.

  Cassandra called after her. "I'm not going to help and if Mamm asks why, I'm telling her you’re the reason."

  Cassandra had felt miserable all day and had nibbled her fingernails right down to nothing. She was worried about too many things. She was concerned that Maud and she wouldn't get along. And what if she couldn't find good parents for the baby? She wasn't going to let just anybody take her baby away. It would have to be somebody really deserving of the child. Maybe a couple who had been desperate to have a child for years and years after they’d found out they couldn't have one themselves.

  Half an hour later, boredom led Cassandra to join her sister and her mother in the kitchen.

  "There you are at last," her mother said. "Would you mind setting the table and the children's table?”

  "I don't mind at all. How many are we setting the table for?”

  “There’ll be sixteen adults and eight children. The two babies aren't old enough to sit down yet."

  "They certainly know how to breed, " Cassandra murmured. Cassandra set about getting the dishes onto the table, pleased that all the vegetables had been peeled already. If there was one thing she detested, it was peeling vegetables. Most every time she was anywhere near a knife she ended up cutting a finger.

  Cassandra had become accustomed to living on take-out, or things that were pre-prepared.

  When they heard a buggy, Gretchen rushed to the kitchen window. “It's Flora and Amos," she announced.

  "I'll go out to see them." Cassandra hurried out of the house even though she hadn't finished setting the tables.

  Her eldest sister, Flora, screamed when she saw her, and rushed to hug Cassandra. "I didn't think you would ever be back. Are you staying for good?"

  "I think so. I'm going to visit Aunt Maud for some time."

  Her sister took a step back. “Aunt Maud?”

  On seeing the look on her sister’s face, her stomach immediately lurched. "Jah. Why what's wrong with her? Is she horrid?"

  Her sister shook her head vigorously "Nee, she’s a very nice person.” Her sister smiled and placed an arm around her shoulders. “Come and see how the two little ones have grown, and you haven’t seen my boppli yet."

  "Hello, Cassandra. It's good to see you."

  Cassandra looked up to see Amos, Flora’s handsome husband. Flora and Amos had always been so happy together and Cassandra had thought that she and Jake would've had a marriage just like theirs, but now, all hopes of her having a happy marriage were dashed. Once she found a home for her baby, she could have a fresh start in life.

  "Hello. It's good to see you too, Amos.” Cassandra greeted the boys as Amos lifted each one out of the buggy. They’d grown into mini versions of Amos.

  Then her sister pulled the basket out of the buggy. "This is Amelia."

  Cassandra stepped forward and peeped into the basket at the sleeping baby. She had a sweet little face with tiny pink lips. "She's as pretty as a picture."

  "It was nice to have a girl after two boys."

  "I wouldn't know what to do with a baby, but I guess something like that is too far away for me to think about."

  "One thing I can tell you as your older schweschder is that it's good to have a baby when you're ready to have one and not before. It's a lot of work, and it's a lot of work especially if you're by yourself."

  Cassandra looked up at her, shocked. Flora's words cut through the air. It was as though her older sister knew, but she couldn't know—there was no way. She didn’t have a large stomach and was still able to squeeze into jeans, so no one would be able to tell in her large Amish dress.

  Soon after that her other sisters and their families arrived. Everyone was just as pleased to see Cassandra as Flora and Amos had been. The house was loud, noisy, and full of people. It was good to see everybody, but Cassandra had soon had enough and just wanted them all to go home.

  Chapter 7

  For we wrestle not against flesh and blood,

  but against principalities, against powers,

  against the rulers of the darkness of this world,

  against spiritual wickedness in high places.

  Ephesians 6:12


  * * *

  None of Cassandra’s sisters had been surprised to hear that she was going to stay with their Aunt Maud.

  It was ten days later when the reply came from Aunt Maud. She said she would be more than happy for Cassandra to stay. A plan was put into place, and two days after Maud’s letter, Cassandra was on the train to Aunt Maud and Uncle Max’s place. The letter had stated that Uncle Max was picking her up from the train station and together they would travel by bus back to the farm.

  When Cassandra got off the train, the only Amish man standing there had to be her uncle. She walked up to him while he was looking everywhere in the crowd but in her direction. “Uncle Max?"

  He turned and when he saw her he smiled. “You must be Cassandra.”

  She smiled back and nodded, pleased to see a friendly face.

  “I haven't seen you since you were this high.” He held his hand three feet off the ground.

  “Has it been that long?"

  Uncle Max went on to tell her how many times he and Maud had visited her parents. Most of those times were before she was born. All Cassandra wanted to do was get to where she was going; she didn't want to listen to a lot of talk just to be polite, but she had no other choice.

  "I'm sure you're not interested. You look tired," he finally said.

  "I am, I'm sorry. It’s been a long tiring trip."

  "We can get the bus out front. Come on.” He looked at her bag. "Is this all you have?"

  She nodded.

  After a two-hour bus ride, they finally arrived at Oakes County.

  “Is your farm far away from here?"

  “Not very. I just have to find me a phone to call my boarder, and he'll collect us in the buggy." They found a public phone and the phone call was made.

  While they were on the sidewalk waiting for Uncle Max’s boarder, Cassandra asked, "So, I won't be the only one staying with you?"

  "We have a young man who works his way around the place, but don't worry, he won't get in your way. He stays in the grossdaddi haus and you'll be in the main haus with Maud and me."

  "It's so lovely of you to have me stay, and so kind of you to go to all that trouble of meeting me and bringing me back on the bus. It’s an awful lot of trouble for you.”

  He laughed. “I know what it’s like when you’re not used to traveling. It can be difficult to find your way around.”

  “And I suppose you know the reason why I'm staying?"

  He nodded. "Yes I do, but you're not the first young lady this has happened to and I'm sure you won't be the last."

  "I never thought it would happen to me. I mean, I hear things like this all the time."

  "Don't you worry about a thing. Maud will help you sort everything out."

  It sounded to Cassandra like Maud might have had many young girls come and stay with her. “Did my older schweschder, Flora, ever come to stay with you and Maud?"

  His face contorted and he looked away from her. "That’s something you might have to ask Flora."

  I knew it. She wasn't old enough to remember much about her sister before she married Amos, but she did remember enough to know that Amos and Flora had met and married quickly. Two years after that, they'd had their first child. So if Flora had accidentally got pregnant, where was the baby? She must've given the baby up for adoption. That's why her sister's face had gone so funny when she'd heard Cassandra was leaving to stay with Maud. And if Cassie knew Flora’s secret, that meant Flora knew hers, too. Now two of her sisters knew.

  "Jah, I will be having a talk with Flora."

  When the buggy arrived, it was Aunt Maud who was driving and not their boarder. Maud was just how Cassandra had pictured her. She was a shorter fatter feminine version of her father, and just like Cassandra's father, Maud had a ready smile. Cassandra looked at Maud’s hair that was poking out from under the front of her kapp. The thing that pleased Cassandra most about Maud was that her graying hair had once been dark just like her own. Most of the hair was now gray, but the rest of it was definitely dark.

  "Where’s our boy?" Uncle Max asked Maud.

  "I told him I would come and collect you. I was anxious to see Cassandra as soon as I could.” Maud got down from the buggy and gave Cassandra a warm hug.

  Cassandra immediately relaxed. She knew she was in good hands with these two. Uncle Max took over driving, and Cassandra chatted with Aunt Maud during the ride. When they got back to the house, all Cassandra wanted to do was sleep for a whole day and a whole night.

  "You go and have a lie down before dinner. Come on, I'll show you where your room is,” Maud said.

  The farmhouse was fairly small and built on a single level. There was a grossdaddi haus attached which was nearly as big as the main house. Maud continued to lead the way down the hall. She stepped into a room to the left and Cassandra followed her inside.

  Maud opened the windows. “I'll let some fresh air in. It’ll help you sleep. This room gets the morning sun.”

  There goes my sleep-in, Cassandra thought. She was only able to sleep in if the room was dark. Now she’d be waking up as soon as the sun came up. "That's good," Cassandra said to be polite.

  "We’ll talk about things tomorrow, or even the next day—there's no rush. Whenever you feel comfortable. I'll help you plan what to do," Maud said.

  "Denke. I appreciate that and I appreciate you letting me stay here. It's very kind of you."

  "Fiddlesticks. No need to keep thanking us. We’re family and we look after each other."

  Cassandra sat on the bed.

  "I'll close the door and let you have a rest."

  "Thank you, Aunt Maud."

  As soon as Maud closed the door, Cassandra lay back on the bed and closed her eyes.

  Chapter 8

  But I say unto you, Love your enemies,

  bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you,

  and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

  Matthew 5:44

  * * *

  Beef and cabbage casserole was on the menu for dinner. At least that's what it smelled like from Cassandra's room. Cabbage was something that Cassandra hadn’t had in a long time—since before she left on rumspringa.

  She got out of bed, guessing she had a bit of time before Maud knocked on the door telling her that dinner was ready. She unpacked her clothes from her bag and put them in the chest of drawers. Then she hung her dresses on the clothes pegs by the door.

  "Dinner is nearly ready, Cassandra," Maud said through the closed door.

  "Denke. I'm awake. I'll be there soon." Cassandra straightened her hair, and then put on and laced up her boots. She walked into the kitchen and stopped abruptly when she saw a man she didn't know sitting down at the kitchen table. He looked up at her and smiled and she stood still.

  There was something different about this man. He was ruggedly handsome. He ran a large hand through his dark hair as he stood up. It was then that she saw he had a dimple in his right cheek and a slight one in his chin. She took a step forward knowing that this must be the mysterious boarder who was staying in the grossdaddi haus.

  "I'm Reuben Scholl.”

  Cassandra cleared her throat and it took her a moment to find her voice. "I'm Cassandra Yoder."

  "It's nice to meet you, Cassandra Yoder. I hear you're staying here for a time on vacation."

  "Jah, I am."

  "Perhaps you might like someone to show you around while you're here? If it's alright with your Aunt Maud, would you like me to show you around tomorrow afternoon?"

  "I would like that very much. Is that alright with you, Aunt Maud?" Cassandra looked over at Maud, who was serving the food into large tureens.

  "If that's what you want to do, Cassandra. If that's what you think is best."

  Cassandra glanced at Reuben and she could see that Reuben also thought that was a strange response for her aunt to make. Maud could see there was an attraction between the pair and she didn't like it—that was clear.

&n
bsp; "I won't go if there's something you want me to do here," Cassandra said to her aunt.

  "We need to have a good talk, you and I, Cassandra, but we can do that tomorrow morning." Maud swung around from the stove. "Aren't you going to be too busy with all your building work, Reuben?”

  Reuben pulled his mouth to one side as his eyebrows shot up.

  It was obvious to Cassandra that Reuben had taken a liking to her, and Maud had most certainly noticed. It was bad timing to meet a man such as this one when she was in her present condition. Although she didn't know anything about the man, she was very interested to find out.”

  "I can't work the whole time and if I work quickly, I’m sure I'll have time to entertain our guest." He smiled at Cassandra, then looked at Maud, and added, “By working quickly, the quality of my work won’t suffer.”

  Maud nodded. “Okay.”

  He stared back at Cassandra and she gave a little giggle. She had never been one to do a girly giggle, but there was something about the way he looked at her that made her want to giggle. He made her feel tingly all over.

  "You’d better sit down, Cassandra, or Reuben will be standing up forever," Maud said.

  "Oh, please sit." She sat down at the table across from him.

  "Dinner is not quite ready. It’ll be another ten minutes or so. We’re waiting on your Uncle.”

  "That's fine," Cassandra said. Hoping to impress Reuben, she added, "Aunt Maud, can I help you with anything there?"

  "Not on your first day here. Perhaps you can help me tomorrow."

  "I'd love to." Cassandra flashed Reuben a big smile and Reuben was still staring at her. It seemed he could not take his eyes from her.

  "Where are you from, Reuben?" she asked.

  "All over the place. I left Ohio when I was thirteen and I’ve been traveling around ever since."

  "Like a gypsy?"

  He laughed. "I'm not too certain about that. I travel here and there and do work for people. I'm staying here helping your aunt and uncle rebuild their barn, and when I finish I'm sure something else will come up. Usually, when I finish one job, another is offered to me."