The Best Thing for Me

by Lauren Jackson

  I sat at the table with Dad as he told me about his day. I nodded, not replying, just listening. I stretched, feeling stiff from not moving for so long. Dad shot up out of his chair, banging his fist on the table, resulting in me jumping in alarm.

  I stared at him in surprise. I opened my mouth to ask him what was wrong when he yelled.

  "EMMA MAREE ROSS IS THAT A HICKEY ON YOUR UPPER ARM?"

  I looked down at it. Luke paused his Xbox. Uh oh. This must have been serious.

  "Er-"

  "THAT'S IT! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THE MOVIES."

  "Um, Dad-"

  "INFACT YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO GO TO HIS HOUSE AGAIN!"

  "But-"

  "ALSO, HE IS NEVER ALLOWED HERE AGAIN!"

  "Would you-"

  "YOU WILL STOP SEEING HIM THIS INSTANT!"

  "DAD!" I yelled, standing up, making it my turn to bang my fist on the table. I tried not to wince at the sudden impact. "Will you let me explain?"

  He narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything.

  "I ran into something. It's just a bruise."

  "Like that's believable."

  "Dad, honestly. It's not a hickey. I don't even know what one looks like."

  "Oh." He collapsed back on his chair. "Sorry. I overreacted."

  "Really?" I asked sarcastically, sitting down again. I felt a little angry at the fact he chose to carry on like that. Very childish.

  "But I guess you're at that age..."

  "Please no Dad," I said in horror, covering my ears.

  "I guess I can't stop you. For the love of God use protection."

  "Dad!" I groaned, burying my head in my hands. "You're making this so awkward."

  I peeped through my fingers and his face was bright red. I felt my own cheeks heat up. Luke’s Xbox was still paused which made things even worse.

  "Have you?" he asked.

  "No Dad." I shook my head. "And I don't plan to yet. Please drop it."

  "Okay," he sighed in relief.

  I scurried away from the table, avoiding Dad at all costs. After a few hours, I threw on some tight jeans, a grey three-quarter shirt and a black jacket over the top. I put on some make up as well, actually getting a little excited to dress up. After being satisfied with my reflection, I planted a kiss on Charlie's head before singing out bye to the other two.

  "Oh and before you go," Dad called. "Have you heard from Mel?"

  "Yeah she wrote on my Facebook wall when she landed in Hawaii, but not since then."

  "How long is she gone for?"

  "Two weeks."

  He nodded. "Okay. It’s weird not having her around. Have fun tonight."

  "Thanks."

  I waved before stepping out into the chilly air. The cold nipped at me and I hurried over to Jason's. I didn't want to bother Dad with driving me, he had too cook dinner and had a long day. Also, Luke was... well. Luke. He was occupied, so this left me to walk. I reached his house and wrapped on the door twice. Jason stepped out, pressing his lips against mine as a 'hello'.

  "Ready to go?"

  "Obviously..." I teased. “Otherwise I wouldn’t be here yet.”

  He rolled his eyes. "Okay, let's go."

  "We're not even going inside?" I asked, wondering why he was so eager to get going.

  "Dad's home."

  "Oh."

  I remained silent as he flung his arm around my shoulders. After a while of walking, I caved.

  "Are you okay?"

  "Yeah."

  "Is he sober?"

  "Yeah."

  I glanced at him. He wasn't his usual self. I didn't want to press it though, so I just let it slide. We reached the cinemas. We purchased all our usual stuff before settling in.

  "This better not be sad."

  He laughed. "Don't worry, it'll be fine."

  "Mhm."

  "You look nice tonight."

  "Thank you." I beamed. "You look nice yourself."

  "I know," he joked, causing me to scoff.

  The movie started. The further the movie continued, the more I tried to hold in my tears. They blurred my vision. I sniffled, refusing to let myself cry. I was going well until the end. I lost it. I let out one of those embarrassing sobs which wracked my whole body. A few people turned around to stare at me, to check whether I was actually okay.

  "You okay, babe?" Jason asked in amusement.

  I tried to wipe the tears away but they kept coming.

  "No! This is a horrible movie."

  "I must admit it is sad." he said.

  I noticed tears in his eyes. "You're even crying!"

  "Shut up," he muttered, turning his face away. "Am not."

  "Are too!"

  "Shh!" someone behind us said.

  Jason stuck them the finger and my mouth fell open slightly.

  "Hey," I nudged him. "That's rude."

  "Sorry Mum."

  I pursed my lips, furiously wiping at my cheeks still. It ended and we exited, whilst I had my head ducked out of embarrassment. We reached his house. I had completely forgotten what he said about his Dad being there, being too caught up with my own misery from that movie.

  "You better not come in..." he said, reminding me, just as the door opened.

  A man I barely recognised stood there, his chest puffed slightly, showing his masculinity. He looked much, much different sober. He stared at us in surprise. His eyes swept over me and I swear I could actually see them calculating. He was like a lion, sizing me up before he pounced and ripped my body a part.

  "Dad," Jason nodded.

  "Who are you?" he said bluntly, ignoring Jason.

  "Emma." I smiled politely, placing my hand out for him to shake.

  He stared at in distaste.

  "Emma's my girlfriend, Dad."

  He gave me an obvious dirty look. My stomach clenched painfully as his stare was like laser beams sizzling at my skin.

  "Really?"

  "Really." he responded defensively.

  "Huh." he shrugged. "Come inside now. It's late. Emma, go home."

  "Hey!" Jason growled.

  "It's fine. Thanks, I had a great time. See you tomorrow."

  I gave him a quick smile before hurrying away as quick as I could.

  His Dad was so horrible!

  My hands trembled slightly as I made my way home, feeling even more terrible than I did in the actual movie. My phone buzzed at me and Jason’s name appeared on my screen.

  'Sorry about that babe. He's an idiot.'

  'It's fine. Not your fault. Are we still on to hang tomorrow? '

  'Yeah. Are you coming to mine? '

  'Yep.’

  'Okay, see you then. xo.’

  'Yeah X.’

  I really hoped his Dad wasn't there tomorrow...

  Okay, so Jason wasn't replying.

  Great.

  I trudged to his place, the cold wind slapping my face harshly. I mounted the steps, knocking on the door. No response. I knocked again only to have it wrenched open, my fist still raised.

  It was his Dad, Mark.

  "Oh." he said in disapproval. “It's you."

  "Um, yeah. Is Jason home?"

  "Yes."

  "May I see him?"

  "No."

  "P-pardon?" I asked in surprise. My cheeks were stinging from the cold and I could feel the heat pouring into them. A thin layer of sweat gathered across my palms, but I refused to wipe them in front of Mark. I didn’t want to show him that I was nervous. He stepped out, shutting the door behind him.

  "I don't think it is wise you see my son anymore."

  "What?" I blurted in horror.

  "You're trash and someone like you will never be with someone like him." He barked at me, making me feel so insignificant and small.

  My mouth hung unattractively open. I felt like I had been slapped.

  "But we've been dating for months, why now?"

  "Because I said so."

  "What if I don't want to stop seeing him?" I challenged boldly, although my body was
on the verge of trembling in fright. I was terrible at confrontations. He stepped forward, grabbing my arm. His fingers bit into my flesh. I winced in pain, knowing it would definitely bruise.

  "If you do not stop seeing him I swear to God, your Dad will not receive any more building jobs. Things are pretty tight, yeah? Wait until I spread the word that he's no good. Let's see how tight things will get then."

  "Y-you can't do that!" I gasped. Was this some kind of sick joke? Surely stuff like this does not happen in real life?

  "I can and I will. Unless..." he said, inching his face closer to mine. "You break it off."

  "He won't believe me." I whispered. "He will know something is up."

  "Well, you better hope for your Dad's sake, he does."

  With that verbal slap in the face, he pushed me back. I tripped, falling down the stairs. I landed with a painful thud. Pain skittered up my still mending arm. I yelped in pain, my face crumbling. The door was slammed shut, the sound ringing in my ears.

  Slowly, I got up, my legs shaking. My whole body trembling, actually. I forced myself to walk home, tears pouring down my face. Heading straight for my room, I curled into a ball on my bed, sobbing. I ignored my Dad, I ignored everything.

  I stayed there all night as I cried myself to sleep.

  26

  "Emma? What are you still doing in bed?" Dad's voice asked in surprise. By the sounds of it, he was standing at my door. I buried myself deeper into my toasty blankets, not wanting to interact with any other human today. My bed would be sufficient enough company.

  I faked a cough. "Not feeling well."

  "Really?" he asked in concern, coming over, sitting on my bed. It dipped and I found myself sinking into it. He slowly removed the four blankets and pillow from my face. My face was flushed from being smothered.

  "You're not sick."

  I coughed again. "Yeah I am. And my arm hurts."

  "This doesn't have anything to do with why you came home crying and refused to speak to anyone all last night? And why Jason rang three times on the house phone and you didn't speak to him?"

  "Definitely not."

  He sighed, resting an arm on my blankets. I couldn't feel the gesture though as I was deeply drowned in my blankets. "Want to talk about it?"

  "No." I replied moodily, tears welling in my eyes again.

  "What did he do?" he frowned. "Need me to go sort it out?"

  I smiled weakly. "No Dad. It was me."

  "I highly doubt that."

  "Can we just not speak about it?" I asked softly, a tear falling down my cheek.

  He pulled me into a hug. I returned it, sobbing into his chest. I tightened my arms, feeling as though I could just squeeze the pain away. If only it was that easy.

  "I don't know how to handle this, Emma."

  "It's not your problem."

  "I wish your Mother was here."

  I stiffened. We never spoke of her. Well, very rarely anyway. Swallowing nervously, I gripped him even tighter. It must have been so hard for him, to raise us on his own for all these years.

  "Me too." I sighed, getting teary again.

  I wished more than anything I could just have one more day with her. I never even got the chance to know her properly. That was the worst thing.

  "Alright, so I'm assuming no matter how hard I try, you're not going to school?"

  "Not even if you dragged me by my hair."

  He gave me a small smile. "Okay. I'll be back sometime this afternoon."

  "Have a good day." I couldn’t keep the bitterness out of my voice.

  "Charlie!" Dad called. He came trotting in, tail wagging with his ears flopping adorably. "Keep her company?"

  He bounded onto the bed, licking my cheek. I ruffled his hair, glad he was here. I didn’t want to be around anyone today, but Charlie was acceptable company.

  "I'll be fine." I assured Dad. "I have Nutella, Charlie and Prison Break."

  "You do realise one day you will have completely watched the series?"

  "Um, this is my fourth time watching the series."

  He shook his head, chuckling. I forced myself to smile, but it was hard. He smiled back before getting up and leaving. I heard him and Luke bustle around the house for a bit more before the house became silent. I cried a bit more, before finally getting over feeling sorry for myself. That didn't stop me from curling up in bed though. I did indeed turn Prison Break on, feeling better.

  "You're so lucky you're not in a relationship." I muttered to Charlie.

  The day dragged on slowly. I wasn't sure of the time, but Dad came into my room. I hadn't even heard his car come up the driveway, which was weird.

  "Please tell me you've moved today." he frowned.

  "Of course. I went to the kitchen, bathroom and then the kitchen again."

  He groaned. "Get out."

  "What?" I squeaked.

  He rolled his eyes, ripping the covers from me. I winced at the sudden coldness. "I mean out of the house. Not forever, just for a few minutes. Get some fresh air."

  "I'm quite content here."

  "Emma." he said sharply, clicking his fingers. "Out."

  I groaned, slowly getting up. I chucked on some leggings and a hoody. I glanced at the mirror. It'd felt like ages since I'd seen myself. My tanned face had purple bags underneath my eyes. My hair was ratty and unattended. My eyes were ringed red and my nose raw from tissues. I looked like a mess. I felt like one too.

  "Do you want to go get some food?"

  "I guess I don't really have much of a choice." I muttered darkly.

  He handed me a list and gave me some money. I forced my legs to carry me out of the house. The cold air nipped at me, making me regret not wearing something thicker than tights. I hugged myself, walking slowly down the hill. I trudged into town, trying not to scowl.

  School kids roamed the streets.

  Ugh.

  I hadn't realised the time. I would have been even more reluctant to come. A black car with tinted windows, which (reminding me of something on a cop show) pulled up beside me. I flinched as I recognised the voice instantly, which made goose bumps erupt over my skin.

  "Emma." the voice said.

  "What?" I said angrily.

  He raised his eyebrows in amusement. "Just making sure you're still aware of our agreement."

  "Yes."

  "And just to have you know, I want you to cut all ties from him. I have people watching you, so don't think you can pretend."

  "Cool. I'm going now."

  I began striding away when the car crept forward, still lingering at my side.

  "What now?" I snapped, getting extremely irritated.

  "Someone's not happy."

  I stared at him flatly. He chuckled.

  "I'm being serious Emma. You don't want Luke to be involved either."

  I halted. I got that weird feeling when your stomach does that weird dip thing. My mouth dried. I licked my lips, trying to get moisture on them, enabling me to speak.

  "I-I understand, okay? Now leave me alone." I managed to croak out.

  "Very well."

  The car took off in ultra-speed. I swore to myself. (Something which was extremely rare as in non-existent. I never swore). I stormed to the grocery store. I jammed the things in one of those red carry around baskets, with a bit too much force. Knowing me, I probably broke the eggs.

  "Hi, how are you?" a young man asked me with a smile.

  "Terrible."

  "Oh no," he said sadly, scanning my objects. "Why's that?"

  I sighed. "Don't worry. How has your day been?"

  "Not bad." he smiled.

  I handed my money over, and clutched the shopping bags in my hand.

  "Keep the change." I muttered.

  I walked out again, feeling like crap. I hated being negative but right now, I could not help it. I felt off, yuck and sorry for myself.

  "EMMMMMAAAAAAA!" A voice bellowed making me jump so much that I dropped my bags.

  I cried out as a can
hit my foot. I leapt backwards, holding my foot in my hand, muttering yet more swear words to myself.

  "Sorry!" Jason said hastily picking up my bags.

  I tried to snatch them off him, but he held them out of my reach.

  "We need to talk."

  "I need to get home." I said bluntly, trying to get them.

  I didn't look at him. I knew I would crumble if I did.

  "Emma." he said softly. "Look at me."

  "No."

  He placed the bags down, a lot more gently than I had and cupped my face. I stared into his amazing face, seeing his vibrant blue eyes and locks of messy blond hair. He looked so attractive.

  I crumbled.

  I knew I would.

  I wrapped my arms around him. My nostrils filled with his scent. I inhaled, tightening my arms. He returned the hug, lifting me.

  "Crap!" I cried out, pushing him away, my feet hitting the cement. "I can't do that!"

  "Why?" he asked, confused.

  "They're here! They're watching!"

  "Who?"

  I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I need to go."

  "Emma."

  "Jason."

  "Can you at least tell me what I did?"

  "You didn't do anything wrong." I said honestly, my eyes pleading for him to understand. "It's me Jason. I don't mean to do the whole 'it's not you it's me thing' but it's true."

  "I highly doubt that."

  "You sound like Dad." I muttered.

  He raised an eyebrow at me in question.

  "I have to go."

  "Tell me what you did then." He urged.

  "I don't love you." I said as bluntly as I could. It was the only reason I could think of.

  "You're lying."

  "Why do you think I never said it back, Jason?"

  He opened his mouth and closed it again. His eyes began watering, making them seem liquefied. I immediately regretted my words. No matter how much his Dad was blackmailing me, how could I have said that? It was so horrible!

  Instantly, I started crying too.

  "I'm sorry." I cried out, choking on my own words. "I-I didn't mean that!"

  I thought he was going to walk away so I buried my face in my hands.

  "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

  I jumped backwards, my foot getting caught in one of my shopping bags, causing me to topple the ground. I fell painfully on my butt. He made no move to help me, not that I would expect him to, after what I said.