The Best Thing for Me

by Lauren Jackson

  "What are you doing?" he asked again, his voice lower this time.

  "I'm sorry." I said, slowly getting up and dusting myself off. I had a feeling I'd have a bruised bum tomorrow.

  He grabbed me, shaking me. My head bobbled unattractively.

  "I CAN'T!" I screamed, making him let go in surprise. "Do you think I want to be hurting you?"

  He stared at me. "Honestly? I don't know what to think."

  "Good. Maybe it's for the best."

  I grabbed my bags and pushed past him. I hadn't handled that well. I marched all the way home. I tried to open the door, but my hands were trembling so bad. I leaned heavily on the door, pressing my forehead against it. Suddenly, it was wrenched open. I fell flat on my face, using my broken arm to stop myself. I cried out in pain, cradling it to me. Hissing to myself, I continued rolling like a worm.

  "Ah, Emma!" Dad exclaimed. "What the? I was just coming to look for you."

  He pulled me up, (using my good hand). "You alright?"

  "Fantastic." I snapped. I stomped into my room, slamming the door.

  I didn't know what to do anymore.

  "Nope. No excuses."

  "Come on!" I begged. Literally. I was on my knees, hands entwined with each other, my head tilted back. "Please?"

  "No. You're going to school."

  "Please no." I pleaded, feeling desperate.

  "Get up and get ready. If you don't you're grounded."

  I made a face as I slowly got up. "You don't even know how to ground someone."

  "I can google it!" he snapped. "Now go."

  I rolled my eyes before I remembered I was angry. I sighed. I may as well just go. Better to get it over and done with.

  After putting on my uniform, I tried to untangle the snarls from my hair. In the end I left it down in a tangle of curls. I didn't care anymore. I didn't put any makeup on either. It wasn't like I had to 'dress to impress' anymore. I couldn't wait until Mel got home. I missed her insanely. Not having her or Jason around made me feel so incredibly lonely, even if it had been only a few days.

  It was a little sad really. I must be one of the only people in the world with one friend. (Jason not included as he was my former boyfriend). Hell, even the kid on 'A Diary Of A Wimpy Kid' had that annoying kid to count as a friend, making him have at least two.

  Dad was rattling off on something. I wasn't paying attention as I moodily put my food in my bag. I was internally ranting, grunting and sighing. I probably looked like a mad woman.

  "Emma? Hello? Argh, you never listen to me."

  "What?" I asked, distracted. "Sorry, I wasn't listening to you."

  He threw his hands up in air. "Don't worry. Have fun at school."

  I frowned at him. "Yeah. I'm sure I will."

  Walking briskly to school, I glanced down at my watch, a little late since I left it last minute to get ready. Just as I was about to enter, the bell buzzed loudly. I winced. They needed to tone it down a bit. I huffed, walking in, have an overwhelming sense of dread filter through my body.

  I got a few stares but completely ignored them. I had deleted my Facebook too. I'll just have to hear about Mel's Hawaii adventures when she returns. The thought of her coming back made me grin. I'd already organised to meet her at the airport. My mood instantly brightened.

  I didn't run into any of the 'It' people until it came around to lunch. I waited in the canteen line, my eyes resting on the last single pizza. So when a voice was right beside my ear, I jumped violently.

  Jeremy looked at me in amusement. "You sure scare easily."

  I hesitated before answering. "I know."

  I returned to my stare down with the pizza, feeling as though if I took my eyes from it, someone would grab it. My life was already sucking at the moment; no way was someone stealing my pizza!

  "So, um, what's the hap with you and Jase?"

  "I don't really want to talk about it."

  "He's pretty cut up."

  I bit my lip, avoiding his eyes. Of course I knew he was cut up. I wasn't blind.

  I felt like a terrible person, but, my family was already struggling. We literally couldn't afford for Dad's business to go under. I wasn't going to jeopardise my family for my own happiness.

  "You're not even being nice about it."

  "How can you be nice about something like that?" I snapped. "Jeremy you don't even know half of what is going on okay? So stay out of it."

  I ordered my pizza and scored myself some juice as well. I tried to now let my bad mood come over me. The lunch lady already thought I was strange with the whole 'sizza pingle' situation.

  "Fine. I was just trying to help."

  "Well thanks. I guess."

  Turning abruptly, I stormed off to my table, sinking into it, feeling terrible. Now I was being rude to people I didn't even know. Great.

  I just wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there forever. Sure, it wouldn't be fun, but I guess it'd be better than putting up with this. I hated myself. But more importantly I hated Mark Mayor so much, it made me sick. I didn't think I was even capable of this much hatred.

  After finishing my food and dumping it into one of the bins, I wiped my hands on my pants, being very lady-like. I wandered down to my locker to get my books for next class when I felt hands on my hips. I was turned around, my back pressing against the cool metal.

  "Tell me to stop."

  I kept my mouth firmly shut. He leant down, pressing his lips against mine.

  Oh how I had missed it!

  Even though it had only been a few days, it felt like so much longer to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him to me. He lifted me, as he tended to do. He seemed to like throwing me around the place for some reason. Possibly made him feel manly or something?

  "I've wanted to do that for days," he murmured, pressing his forehead against mine.

  I sighed. "This is so hard."

  "Why though? Why is it?"

  "I can't tell you."

  "Why?"

  "Because there's too much at stake."

  "I'm really not following you here."

  I sighed in frustration, leaning my head back. "I can't tell you."

  "Yes you can. You can tell me anything."

  I crumbled, yet again. In a rush said:

  "Yourdadisblackmailingmeintonotseeingyoubecausehedoesn'tthinkI'mgoodenough."

  He blinked at me for several moments. "Huh?"

  I re-explained it, a little slower this time. His eyes widened. He banged his fist into the locker, shouting in anger. A few people looked over in surprise. I tried to hide from the stares, but of course, Jason was completely oblivious to my shyness.

  "This is why I didn't want to tell you. You can't say anything! He has people watching me, Jason. My Dad will suffer."

  "Oh my God." he said, running a hand through his already messy hair. "I had no idea."

  "I know."

  "Well... we'll just have to sneak around him then."

  I stared him blankly. "Sneak around?"

  "Yeah. Date, but in secret."

  "Sounds..." I trailed off. "Kind of exciting?"

  He grinned at me. "Hell yeah it does."

  "Alright. Bring it on Mark Mayor!" I cried, banging fists with Jason.

  Oh yeah, life had really just turned around.

  27

  My mind barely registered that the door to my right had opened before I was staggering sideways into it. I gasped as I was swept off my feet, landing with a slight thud on a desk. His lips met mine in a rush and I winced, making him pull back.

  "What's up?" he asked casually as though dragging me into the storage room at school was a normal thing we did.

  "I bruised my butt," I panted, placing a hand over my frantically beating heart. "And you scared the heck out of me!"

  He chuckled, running a hand through his mop of messy blond hair.

  "That is such a typical thing for you to say."

  "Is not!" I protested, trying to make my breathing controlled agai
n. Jeremy was right, I did scare awfully easy.

  "Is so. How'd you manage that?"

  "When I fell over the shopping bags."

  He smile wavered for a moment, making me regret saying it. That was when we had had our big fight. Before he knew the truth.

  I rushed on, not wanting to dwell on that subject. "So. Um. Why are we in here?"

  He shrugged. "No one else is here, right?"

  "True..." I said slowly. "Still, I don't exactly see the need."

  "I do. No one can see. Who knows who Mark's got following us."

  My stomach did a slight dip and my mouth dried. I guess it still hadn't occurred to me that I could be spied on. I hated the idea and it made me extremely paranoid. I shuddered just thinking about it. I never thought this situation would happen to me. It only happened in movies, or a cheesy, cliché story found on the internet.

  "Hey," he said softly, placing his hands on my thighs. "It's going to be okay."

  I sighed, leaning in automatically, seeking his comfort. "I don't know."

  He glanced down, after I had pulled back. "Since when do you wear stockings?"

  "Since my long pants are in the wash and the zipper broke on my shorts. Mel had conveniently left a pair at my house."

  "Oh." he nodded.

  I smiled up at him. "So. How are you?"

  "I'm good," he said, giving me a lazy grin. "You?"

  "I'm good." I nodded.

  We lapsed into silence. I guess it wasn't as carefree and easy as it used to be. Now there was this new pressure. I didn't like it. At first, I thought the idea of sneaking around would be fun and exciting.

  Now... I wasn't quite so sure.

  The bell buzzed loudly. Jason sighed deeply, lifting me down from the bench. He pulled me into a tight hug, kissing me hard. The world spun as I latched my fingers onto his shirt. He laughed, stepping back.

  "You better leave first."

  I slowly nodded in understanding. "Okay. I'll see you..."

  "Later." he finished for me.

  I gave him a small smile before slipping out. A few people glanced at me curiously. I felt my face was flustered from the kiss. Also, my hair was a bit of a mess. I smoothed it over, walking briskly towards my locker. I grabbed out my books for my next two subjects slamming it shut.

  "Why are you grinning so broadly?" A voice asked beside me. I leapt about two feet in the air, whirling around. Penny, a girl from my group, watched me in amusement. Her curly hair was cascading down her back in ringlets. I loved curls. I used to have them when I was younger. Now, they were just more waves.

  "Um, I, er," I fumbled. Who knew if she was set up to spy? Oh Goodness... imagine that. Even my, well, not friends exactly, but 'group members' could possibly be in on it.

  So I lied. Well, not technically, but it still felt like it.

  "My best friend is coming home today." I said, grinning wider. "She's been in Hawaii."

  "Oh?" she asked, examining her nails, giving off the indication that she didn't really care about my answer.

  If I hadn't been studying her so closely, I thought I would have missed the small flicker of surprise in her eyes. Yes, I definitely couldn't trust anyone. I needed to always be on guard. I was such a bad liar, but this wasn't so bad because it was actually true. She was coming home today. I couldn't wait! I had already planned to leave school at lunch to go to the airport. Luke was taking me in. (Of course).

  I hurried to class, leaving Penny there by herself. I know it was rude, but oh well. I found my usual seat. When Jason entered, I kept my eyes glued to my pencil case. If anyone was watching, I knew I would crumble at the site of him. I'd probably grin stupidly or turn tomato red.

  I kept my attention on my pencil case until the teacher began the lesson. I forced my eyes to her. I didn't peek once.

  Really, I was quite proud of myself.

  When the bell signaled for lunch, I practically skipped to my locker, jamming my books in there. An excited grin found its way to my face. I almost ran all the way home. (Well, speed walked. Once I started walking fast, barely anyone could catch up to me. My speed walk was faster than Mel's jog).

  I wrenched the door open.

  "Yo-diggity!" I cried.

  "What?" Dad asked, peeping in from the kitchen.

  I shrugged. “I was just saying hey.”

  "What does it mean?" he asked, still confused.

  I always felt the need to call something out when I got home. It was sort of tradition nowadays.

  "Don’t even worry, Dad.”

  He frowned. I shrugged in response, going to my room.

  I put on some tight-fitting jeans and a nice black three-quarter length shirt. I ran my fingers through my hair, impressed it was still in natural waves, tumbling down to almost my elbows. I reapplied a tiny bit of make-up, and added some lip gloss.

  "Where's Luke?" I called, coming from my room and entering the kitchen. I grabbed a jar of Nutella from the cupboard and perched on one of the stools.

  "Gone for a quick run."

  I groaned. "Seriously?"

  "Seriously."

  "You know his quick runs are like eight kilometers, right?"

  "I'm aware of that," Dad replied, rolling his eyes.

  Once, Luke had invited me to go for a run with him. Being the awesome person I am, I tagged along for the ride.

  Worst. Decision. Of. My. Life.

  My definition of a 'quick run' is around the block. Not six kilometers straight. No walking. No breaks. For a non-fit person, that is a lot, in my opinion.

  "Don't worry. He'll be back soon." Dad finished wiping the last plate and leant on the counter. "So. You seem to be going better."

  "Yeah." I nodded. "I'm just glad Mel will be back."

  "How was school? With Jason?"

  I shrugged. "I survived without him before. I'm sure I can manage."

  I hate lying with a passion. Especially to my Dad. I always had been a bad liar. He seemed to believe me though. I just kept my eyes on my Nutella, to avoid blurting out something I'd regret.

  "I'm going to work on some stuff in the shed. I'll say bye to you before you go."

  "Okay."

  I went back in my room, sprayed some perfume and located my phone. I was about to log onto Facebook before I remembered I'd deactivated it. My heart pained slightly when I had no texts from Jason. We'd agreed to not text each other, for obvious reasons, but I still felt disappointed when I didn't receive any from him. I guess I was still getting used to it. I heard the front door open and ran out.

  "Luke! We need to go!"

  "Yeah, yeah," he said off-handily. He brushed by me, going straight to the bathroom.

  I suppressed the urge to kick him. I knew if I did, I'd probably end up on my back and unable to move for a good half an hour. I grumbled under my breath, not hiding my irritation at him. After about ten minutes, he came out, wearing dark jeans and a leather jacket. He looked very handsome.

  "Dressing to impress?" I jibed.

  "Shut up," he muttered, storming past me.

  I smirked, loving when I had something to hold over him. He always hated me teasing him. Dad reappeared in the house, grease up to his elbows.

  "You can tell what I've been doing," he joked.

  I grinned in agreement, shaking my head at him.

  Luke, being himself, didn't.

  "What have you been doing?" he asked.

  Dad and I exchanged a glance and I rolled my eyes, trying not to laugh.

  "Don't worry."

  "Tell Mel to come around soon."

  "I will. See ya."

  I let him peck my cheek before I hurried after Luke. He was already in his work car, with the engine going.

  "Excited?" I teased.

  He ignored me, backing back and slowly creeping down the hill.

  The forty-five minute drive seemed to drag on. I drummed my fingers on my jeaned legs, in beat of the music. I head bobbed every now and then, staring out the window. We hardly spoke the entire wa
y there, but I could tell her was starting to get excited.

  Finally, I saw the airport and felt a grin stretch across my face. As soon as he had parked, I was out of the car, running.

  "Settle down," I heard Luke call.

  I pretended to not have heard him. Her flight hadn't come out yet, which was annoying. I paced impatiently, while Luke just sprawled out on a chair, with his eyes closed. Finally, people began spilling out from the corridor. I held my breath.

  "EMZ!" A voice squealed.

  I didn't hesitate for a second after hearing her voice. I propelled forward, throwing myself at her. My legs went with me. She staggered backwards, her grin not faltering once.

  "Hi!" I beamed.

  "Hello!"

  I hugged her again, hugging her so tightly that she squeaked. She had never been so tanned. Her blonde hair had been highlighted, making her look even more stunning that she was when she left. She grinned at me which I returned instantly.

  "How was it?"

  "Amazing," she breathed. "I'll have to take you next time."

  I rolled my eyes. That was wishful thinking.

  Luke loped over, picking her up, spinning her. She kissed him roughly, planting both her palms on his cheeks. Her parents then emerged. I ran over, hugging them too. After we got all our greetings and hugs out of the way, her parents called a taxi home and Mel came with us.

  She gushed about her adventures and told us everything that had happened. I nodded with wide-eyes, so happy to have her back with me.

  "So, what's the hap with you?" she asked, when we were almost home.

  "Oh. Um. Not much."

  She frowned.

  "Spill."

  I inclined my head towards Luke and shook my head.

  She nodded in understanding.

  "Nothing to tell." I continued as though we hadn't sent silent messages to each other.

  "Whatever," she muttered.

  We gabbed about her trip some more, filling me on every exotic and exciting detail of her trip. I listened in awe, wondering what it would be like to travel to a different country.

  "Do you want to go home?"

  "Pfft, no." she shrugged. "Gotta see my second Dad!"

  I laughed as we spilled out of the car. She ran up to him.

  "Dad two!" She cried, hugging him.