Love Me Still

by E. L. Todd

  “And you knew about her?”

  “I can’t believe you didn’t tell Skye,” Trinity barked. “That’s just wrong.”

  “Cayson didn’t do anything wrong,” Slade argued.

  “Sleeping with another woman when you have a pregnant wife is wrong,” Trinity snapped.

  Slade turned to me for an explanation.

  “Laura slipped a note in my bag.” I handed it to him.

  Slade snatched it and read it. Then he released a quiet groan. “Shit, this is bad.”

  Trinity violently pushed me. “Get out of my apartment and don’t come near my best friend.”

  “Trinity, stop.” Slade got between us. “He didn’t do it.”

  “Please don’t tell me you believe him.”

  “Of course I do,” Slade said. “Can you really picture Cayson doing something like that?”

  Trinity kept her mouth shut.

  “You can’t,” Slade said. “And he didn’t do it.” He turned to me. “Come on, let’s go.”

  “Where are you going?” Trinity demanded.

  “That’s fine if he can’t stay here,” Slade said as he walked out with me. “Because I’m going with him.”

  ***

  We entered the small apartment over his shop. It was a cramped space with a living room that served as a bedroom, a tiny kitchen, and a bathroom that could only hold one person.

  “I know it isn’t much,” Slade said. “But for now it will do.”

  I couldn’t care less. “Thanks.” I tossed my bag aside then sat at the edge of the bed. My mind was going a million miles an hour and I felt dizzy, but I also felt empty and broken.

  Slade sat beside me. “Okay…what happened?”

  “I told you.” I stared at the dirty carpet beneath my feet.

  “Skye actually believed that letter?”

  “Can you blame her?” I snapped. “That damn piece of paper is so condemning. I understand how bad it looks. I really do. But I wish she would believe me. I’m not a liar and I’m certainly not a cheat.”

  “That didn’t mean anything to her?”

  “No.” I rubbed the side of my face. “She says if that were the case I would have told her what happened when I got home.”

  Slade sighed. “I—”

  “You better not say I told you so.” I didn’t want to hear it tonight.

  Slade shut his mouth.

  “I told her I didn’t bring it up because of the baby. She dropped a bomb on me the second I got off that plane.” My heart permanently throbbed and it wouldn’t stop. Seeing the way she threw my stuff in the entryway and kicked me out was unbearable. We were so happy and now all of that was gone. I wish I had just told her even if it ruined the moment. It was much better than this.

  “I’m sorry, man,” Slade said quietly.

  “I don’t know what to do…”

  “Skye just needs to cool off. Give her some time and she’ll come around.”

  “This isn’t a fight, Slade. She actually believes I slept with someone.”

  “When she calms down she’ll remember that you would never do something like that. Remember, you guys are married and have a kid on the way. She’s not going to leave you.”

  That was my worst nightmare. “You think?”

  “Even if you really did cheat on her, which you didn’t, she would still work it out with you.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know about that…”

  “Because of the kid. So, her being pregnant just saved your ass.”

  I’d never given it much thought. In my dreams of the future neither one of us cheated.

  “Think about it,” Slade said. “If Skye cheated on you then apologized for it and said it would never happen again, would you leave her?”

  As pathetic as it made me sound, I knew my answer. “No.” And not just for the baby.

  “She’s not going to leave you,” Slade said. “This is going to be a bumpy ride and it won’t be resolved for at least a few months. But you will pull through. I know you will.”

  “Really?” I needed all the assurance I could get.

  “Really.” He patted my shoulder and stood up. “I’m going to talk to Skye. Maybe I can make her see reason.”

  “I think it’s pointless right now, Slade.”

  “She and I became a lot closer when you were gone. She’ll listen to me.”

  I hoped he was right.

  “Get some sleep,” Slade said. “I’ll let you know how it goes.”

  I lay down and stared at the ceiling. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. All I could do was lay there and think about the mound of shit I was under. I had to keep telling myself everything would be okay.

  Because if I didn’t…I didn’t know what I would do.

  Chapter Two

  Slade

  I used my key to get inside. As soon as I stepped in the entryway, I saw all of Cayson’s belongings piled on the floor like a donation to The Salvation Army. When I stepped further into the room, I heard Skye crying from the kitchen. She was sobbing, actually.

  I wasn’t an emotional guy, and the sound of a woman crying was just irritating, but it squeezed my heart painfully. “Skye, it’s me.”

  She immediately stopped her tears then sniffed.

  I walked through the living room then arrived at the kitchen.

  She was sitting at the table, used tissues scattered around her. Her eyes were puffy and swollen, and her nose was red from constantly rubbing it. Her small stomach extended under the table. She quickly blinked and tried to cover her emotion. “Slade, you can’t just walk in here anymore.” Her voice was weak and shaky.

  I pulled out the chair beside her and sat down. “I thought you might not answer it if I knocked.”

  She bunched the tissues in her fists like she was trying to hide them from me. “Please go, Slade. I just want to be alone right now.” She wouldn’t look directly at me.

  “Skye, I know how incriminating that letter is—”

  “You knew the entire time and didn’t tell me.” Accusation dripped from her voice like acid. “You lived with me and didn’t say a word. Slade, I’m your cousin.”

  “He wanted to tell you, not me. And he’s not lying, Skye. He told the complete truth.”

  “And how would you know?”

  “Because Cayson wouldn’t lie to me. He called me the day after it happened because he was terrified how you would react.”

  “He should be.” Her eyes were glued to the table.

  “She kissed him and he pulled away. End of story. Nothing else happened.”

  “If that were true, why did she say they slept together?”

  “She didn’t.” I pulled the letter out of my pocket. “Nowhere in the letter does she say they had sex.”

  “And all those nights they spent together were…them playing cards?” she asked viciously. “I’m not stupid, Slade. I know exactly what she meant. All those nights I slept alone he was screwing some girl in a sleeping bag.”

  “He didn’t do it.”

  She finally looked at me, and her face was full of hatred. “I know he’s your best friend but I’m your cousin. You should be on my side.”

  “And I would be if he was guilty. But he’s not.”

  “He is, Slade. I know it’s hard to take in but it’s the truth. Living in denial isn’t going to change anything.”

  “You know Cayson just as well as I do,” I said. “If Cayson is ever guilty of anything, he owns up to it. He doesn’t make excuses for his wrongdoing. He’s always honest and faces the consequences of his actions. Or am I wrong?”

  “No,” she admitted.

  “If he slept with you, he would tell you.”

  “Or maybe he fell in love with this girl…” Her voice faltered because of the heartbreak. She cleared her throat and kept going. “He was going to break it off with me when he returned but when he realized I was pregnant—”

  “Shut the hell up,” I snapped. “That would never happen.”
>
  “Cayson would stick around just for the baby. That’s the kind of guy he is.”

  Did she smack her head? “That doesn’t make any sense. Cayson has been in love with you forever. You really think he would throw it all away for some whore in India?”

  “She was doing the same thing he was doing, helping other people. I’m sure they had a lot in common.”

  It took all my strength not to roll my eyes. “Cayson is in love with you and only you. You really think he would fool around after being married for a few months? That doesn’t make any damn sense.”

  “But yet, it happened.” Her voice was ice-cold. “I saw her when I Skyped him. She was very pretty, and she was staying in his tent. He was completely alone for months…he was lonely and isolated.”

  “Even if he thought you were dead he still wouldn’t have done it,” I argued. “And you may have thought she was pretty but I can promise you Cayson didn’t.”

  She gave me a questioning look.

  “Just the other day, some smoking hot chick came into my shop and asked for some ink. Apparently, she’s the hottest stripper in town. The guys told me about it. But when I saw her I didn’t react at all. I didn’t see the perfect ten they were talking about. Shit, I can’t even remember what she looked like. When you fall in love, you’re numb to everything else but that one person. The way I feel about Trinity is the way Cayson feels about you.”

  “I’m very happy that you’re so committed to Trinity,” she said quietly. “But that isn’t what happened with Cayson and I.”

  Shit, this was worse than I thought. “Cayson is the last guy on the planet who would cheat. Even if he wanted to he wouldn’t do it.”

  “Things change when you’re in a different circumstance.”

  I sighed in frustration. “Laura is obviously a psychopath that’s obsessing over him. Don’t let her stupid letter destroy your marriage.”

  “Cayson destroyed our marriage.” She grabbed another tissue and dabbed her eye with it. “She told him to go back to her if he decides to leave me. Why would she make a statement like that unless she knew he wanted her?”

  “Because. She’s. Crazy.” I wanted to strangle her right now.

  “Slade.” She held up a hand to silence me. “I know you mean well, and I know you believe him because he’s your best friend, but stay out of this.”

  “I can’t let you go on believing this horseshit.”

  “Just go.” Her voice was lifeless like she had no fire inside her. “I just want to be alone right now.”

  How did I fix this? “Cayson shouldn’t be sleeping in the apartment over my shop right now. He should be home with you.”

  “This isn’t his home anymore.”

  “Skye, Cayson would never do anything like that. Have some faith. You have to—”

  “Slade, go. Or I will throw your ass out.” She stood up then gathered all the damp tissues before she threw them away.

  If I stayed, it would just make everything worse. “Fine. But this isn’t over.”

  She turned to me, her eyes still swollen. “Don’t mention this to anyone but Trinity.”

  That gave me hope. She wanted to keep it a secret. Maybe it was because she wanted to work it out with Cayson. “My lips are sealed.”

  ***

  I walked inside my apartment at three in the morning. Surprisingly, I wasn’t tired. I was too stressed out for sleep.

  Trinity came out of the bedroom wearing one of my t-shirts. Her hair was messy from laying her head on a pillow, and her face was free of make up. I liked it when her face was bare. She was naturally beautiful without even trying. “What happened?”

  The tension suddenly settled between us. We were on opposite sides of the battlefield. “Cayson is staying at the apartment over the shop.”

  “You should put him on the street,” she said viciously.

  “Then I went to Skye’s and tried to talk her down. It didn’t work.”

  “Talk her down?” she snapped. “Her husband cheated on her. She has every right to be pissed off and angry. Leave her alone, Slade.”

  “He didn’t cheat.”

  She narrowed her eyes in disgust. “I can’t believe you’re taking his side like this. This is disgusting. So if you cheated on me Cayson would stand beside you and try to convince me you didn’t?”

  “No. Cayson would be more disappointed in me than anyone else. I know he didn’t do it. He would never lie about something like that. Why would he call me when he was over there and lie to me? It doesn’t make any sense, Trinity.”

  “Cayson is just desperate because his son is involved.”

  “No, he’s desperate because he loves his wife and would never hurt her like that.” Why wasn’t anyone else standing with me? It’s like Skye and Trinity forgot who Cayson was entirely. “I know he didn’t do it.”

  “That letter made it pretty clear he did.”

  “Are you telling me there’s no possibility that Laura is just a psychopath? That she meant something else when she referred to their nights together? That Cayson’s story is really that unbelievable?”

  “Yes,” she said coldly. “Not when Skye has concrete evidence like that. And Skye saw her inside his tent through the computer screen. She was attractive and available.”

  “What does that matter?” I snapped. “She could have been a supermodel and Cayson wouldn’t have looked at her twice.”

  “Well, he looked at her when he fucked her—for three months.”

  Goddammit. Having Trinity hate Cayson wouldn’t get Skye to forgive him any sooner. Trinity needed to be on my side otherwise it would make everything worse. “Trinity, you trust me, right?”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “Do you trust me?” I demanded.

  “I wouldn’t be married to you unless I did.”

  I pressed my palms together like I was begging. “Then just trust me on this. I know Cayson didn’t do it. Believe me.”

  “And what information do you have that I don’t?”

  “He’s my best friend. I know him better than anyone. If he really did cheat on her, he would have told me.”

  “No, he wouldn’t,” she said. “Because he knew you would tell me, and then I would tell Skye.”

  “He knows I would never do that. I kept his secret until he came home. No matter what, I will never betray his confidence. Just take my side on this. I know Skye is your best friend but I would bet my life that Cayson is telling the truth. Baby, please believe me.”

  She narrowed her eyes in a menacing way. “You should be ashamed of yourself. Skye is your cousin, your blood. You should be on her side.”

  “I am on her side,” I snapped. “Cayson didn’t do it so she’s suffering for no reason.”

  She held up her hand and sighed. “Shut up, Slade. Sleep on the couch tonight.” She stormed back into the bedroom then slammed the door.

  Instead of sleeping with her anyway, I moved to the couch. It was unlike me to let a fight linger between my wife and I. But I was so upset by everyone’s lack of faith that I didn’t want to share a bed with her.

  I just wanted to be alone.

  Chapter Three

  Skye

  “Everything okay?” Ward eyed me from across the desk. He had a notepad in his lap and a pen in his hand.

  “I’m fine.” I kept my eyes glued to the screen as I searched for the data I was trying to find. I preferred not to go to work today but I didn’t want to arouse suspicion. I was going through the most traumatic experience of my life but I didn’t want to talk about it. While I was pissed off at Cayson for what he did to me, the way he ruined our vows just months after we made them, I didn’t want everyone to hate him.

  Ward would want to break his neck even if Cayson was his soon-to-be brother-in-law. Conrad and I had become close working together, and now he was like a protective brother. Even though Cayson was his friend, he would knock him out. Roland would be livid and have a few words to say. Everyo
ne would hate him. And I didn’t want to think about what my father would do…

  While Cayson deserved the heat, I didn’t want my son to grow up with a father that was unanimously hated. It might make him hate his own father, and that was the last thing I wanted. I knew Slade and Trinity could keep it to themselves. Even though Trinity would want to badmouth Cayson all over town, she wouldn’t do it if I asked her not to.

  “Skye?”

  “Hmm?” I turned to Ward. “Did you say something?”

  “Are you sure you’re alright?” His eyes drilled into my face.

  “Yes…just a little tired.”

  “Do you need something to eat?” The protective side of him came out. “How about some water? I can take you to the doctor. Have you been taking your vitamins?”

  I wanted to throw my desk at him. “Ward, I’m fine. If I need something I’ll let you know.”

  “If you’re tired you might have low iron. That could make you anemic.”

  “Honestly, I’m fine. Let’s get back to work.”

  Ward finally dropped it—thankfully.

  ***

  I wasn’t hungry and didn’t plan on eating lunch, but I knew I had to for the baby. It was important I kept up a healthy diet and consumed a third more calories than usual. That’s what my doctor told me, at least.

  I put my computer to sleep then grabbed my purse. Just when I stood up, the door opened and Cayson stepped inside.

  Just when I finally calmed down and stopped crying, he showed his face again. He had a lot of nerve coming to the office—a lot. I clutched my purse to my side and stared at him with hatred. My heart was so far broken that it could never be reconstructed. My life had been a fairytale and he ruined it—viciously.

  He stared at me with solemn eyes that looked empty and black. His shoulders weren’t as broad as they usually were. They sagged under an invisible weight. He stared at me with longing but didn’t dare touch me.

  “Get out of my office, Cayson. And don’t come back.”

  He didn’t react at all. “Have lunch with me.”

  “No.” I wanted to throw my stapler at him. I wanted to scream and shove him as hard as I could. But I couldn’t do that at work. Everyone would hear me and I’d have a lot of explaining to do later. Then I realized exactly what he was doing. I couldn’t do anything other than remain calm. “You’re just making me hate you more.”