Love Me Still

by E. L. Todd

How could I sit here and smile at the screen and deny that? How could I pretend I didn’t fantasize about coming home to her every night and seeing her in the kitchen with an apron around her waist? I was ready to hang up my bachelor days and commit my life to one person.

  Lexie.

  ***

  I gathered everyone at dinner at Mega Shake. We combined two large tables in the center of the room so we all could fit. The meeting was last minute so I understood if everyone couldn’t come. For those who couldn’t come, they would hear the news soon enough.

  “What’s up, brother?” Trinity walked in with Slade behind her then sat down.

  “You’ll see,” I said vaguely.

  Slade sat beside her but he hardly looked at her. There was a permanent sneer on his face. He didn’t speak at all, which was highly unusual.

  “You guys fighting?” I asked.

  “No.” Trinity said it quickly like she was angry I even asked the question.

  Slade still didn’t speak.

  “Okay…”

  Roland and Heath came in next. “What’s with the meeting?” Roland asked. “Usually one of the girls pulls a stunt like this.” He sat down a few chairs over.

  “You’ll see.” I didn’t want to repeat myself so I’d rather wait until everyone was there.

  Skye walked inside, moving like a snail. Her face was ghostly pale and she seemed lifeless. She took a seat on the other side of Heath. It was odd she didn’t sit next to Slade and Trinity.

  “Where’s Cayson?” I asked.

  “He had to work late.” She eyed the menu and didn’t make eye contact with me.

  Slade shot her a glare.

  This was getting weirder.

  Everyone else filed in and sat down. No one ordered because they all wanted to hear what I had to say. Dad sat beside me with Mom on his other side.

  “So, what’s up?” Dad asked. “Where’s Lexie?”

  I wanted to tell everyone this way because they were going to find out eventually. Nothing remained a secret in a group like this. “Thanks for coming. There’s something I want to say.”

  Trinity watched me with careful eyes, clearly having no idea what I was going to say.

  “I was hoping that you guys could organize a party for next weekend. Maybe at the Preston Manor or something.”

  “Why?” Dad asked.

  “Because…” I smiled and didn’t care if they teased me for this. I’d gone back and forth a lot on this subject but now I was absolutely sure of what I wanted. “I’m going to propose to Lexie.”

  “No. Fucking. Way.” Roland slammed his hand on the table.

  Dad grinned from ear-to-ear.

  Mom fanned her eyes because they watered. “Oh…this is so wonderful.”

  “My brother is getting married?” Trinity blurted. “I can’t believe it.”

  Slade came out of his sour mood. “That’s awesome, man. I really like Lexie.”

  Skye was a little more upbeat but she still seemed out of it. “Do you have the ring?”

  I pulled the box out of my pocket and opened it.

  Trinity gasped. “That’s the most beautiful ring, Conrad.”

  “Hey,” Slade said defensively.

  “It’s one of the most beautiful rings,” Trinity corrected.

  “Lexie Preston.” Sean let the name roll on his tongue. “It fits.”

  “Congratulations, honey.” Scarlet hugged Mom.

  “Thank you,” Mom said. “My daughter is married and now my son is getting married…I’m so happy.”

  I felt like such a pussy right now.

  Dad hugged me. “Congratulations.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I’ll plan the party,” Trinity said excitedly. “It’s going to look so amazing. It’ll be the best engagement party ever.”

  “Hey,” Slade said defensively.

  “Oh get over it,” Trinity said. “Our time is over.”

  I chuckled as I watched everyone get excited.

  “When are you going to ask?” Theo asked.

  “Next weekend,” I answered. “I think I’m going to take her out to a nice dinner then get down on one knee.”

  “That’ll be lovely,” Mom said.

  “With a ring like that you don’t need to do much other than show it to her,” Trinity said with a laugh. “It’ll do all the talking for you.”

  “Hey, your ring is nice too,” Slade reminded her.

  She rolled her eyes then turned to him. “I love my ring and I would never want another one.”

  That calmed Slade down.

  I tried not to roll my eyes at their conversation.

  “I’m happy for you, man,” Roland said. “Conrad takes a wife…who knew.”

  “Yep.” I wasn’t ashamed to admit I was in love and wanted to spend my life with one person. I knew I was a bit pussy-whipped and lame but I didn’t care. I wanted to come home to her every day—and never be apart.

  Chapter Seven

  Cayson

  My life was a living hell.

  I was staying at the tiny apartment over the shop, and I was sleeping alone all over again. Slade said Skye would come around and I just had to be patient but that was becoming impossible.

  I didn’t do it.

  Why didn’t she just believe me?

  Even if someone put a gun to my head I still wouldn’t have done it.

  How could she ever doubt me?

  I hated Laura, and not in a joking way. I actually hated that bitch for putting that letter in my bag. What the hell was she thinking? And she made the letter sound so damn incriminating. It seemed like she did it on purpose and hoped this would happen.

  After everything I did for her, this is how she repaid me?

  I had a wife pregnant with my child and I was kicked out of the house. I wanted to be with her all the time, to feel the baby kick and to get Skye ice cream at three in the morning. What if she felt sick in the middle of the night and needed help? None of this was fair.

  I hoped visiting her at the office would help matters but she sent me away anyway. The only fortune I had was the fact Skye hadn’t told anyone what happened other than Slade and Trinity. She said she didn’t want anyone to hate me, but I hoped it was because we were going to work on our relationship and I was going to move back in and no one would know we even had this fight

  I hoped that’s what would happen.

  I approached the house then pulled out my key. Before I stuck it in the door, I realized it might not be a good idea. I shoved them back into my pocket. Then I knocked.

  I knocked on my own fucking door.

  Footsteps were heard on the other side and then they stopped. I knew she was looking at me through the peephole. There was a good chance she might not answer. Then she opened the door.

  She wore a loose dress with her hair over one shoulder. Even though she looked devastated and broken, she was still beautiful. Her lips weren’t as red as they usually were and her eyes looked more gray than blue.

  I missed her.

  “Hi.” She gripped the door like she needed it for balance.

  “Hey.” It shouldn’t be this way. It shouldn’t be this tense to speak to my loving wife. I was the victim of a crime and now the only thing I cared about was being taken away from me.

  “I don’t want to talk, Cayson. You should just go.”

  “I need a few things.” I’d only grabbed one bag of clothes. I needed my slacks and collared shirts for work. I couldn’t wear the same two outfits over and over again.

  “Oh…” She relaxed when she understood why I was there. She opened the door wider and allowed me inside.

  All my things were piled in the entryway where I last saw them. They were thrown aside like garbage. My things were stuffed into garbage bags so I didn’t know what was what.

  “You should just take everything.”

  There wasn’t enough room in the apartment. I looked through the bags until I found what I needed.

  Skye kept her
arms across her chest and stayed back.

  “So, what was that dinner about?” Skye asked me to lie and say I had to work. The fact she kept me from my own family was painful. I had to live a lie just to give her what she wanted.

  She took a deep breath before she spoke. “Conrad is proposing to Lexie.”

  I stopped searching through my bag and stood up. “He is?”

  She nodded.

  A small smile formed on my lips. “That’s great. I’m happy for him.”

  “Me too.” Her voice was lifeless and empty.

  “When?”

  “Next weekend.”

  “That’s awesome.” I really like Lexie. She was good for Conrad.

  “Trinity is planning an engagement party afterwards.”

  I wasn’t missing that. “I’m going. You can’t stop me.”

  Her eyes moved to my face, and there was no fight in there.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m not missing one of the greatest nights of Conrad’s life—no matter what’s happening between us.”

  Skye didn’t fight it. “Okay. We’ll just try to act normal.”

  Maybe I could kiss her and touch her and make her realize just how devoted I was to her. “How’s the baby?” I wanted to talk to her as much as possible. I missed her like crazy.

  “He’s been doing well.” Her hand automatically went to her stomach.

  “You’ve been eating and taking your vitamins?”

  She nodded.

  I extended my hand to touch her stomach.

  Skye immediately stepped back.

  That broke my heart. I slowly lowered my hand.

  “You have your things,” she said. “Now leave.”

  I didn’t want to do this anymore. It was unbearable. “Skye, this isn’t how marriage is supposed to work. I’m supposed to stay here until we work this out. Making me live in some apartment isn’t the right way to go.”

  “Well, you aren’t supposed to cheat in a marriage,” she jabbed.

  “I didn’t cheat on you.” Every time I took a breath my lungs hurt. “I swear I didn’t. I would never do that.”

  She held my gaze but there was no emotion in her eyes.

  “Skye, if I did it I would admit it—like a man. But I didn’t. I don’t know how many times I can say that. I want to come home to my family. I want to be here just in case you need me. What if you need something in the middle of the night? What if you need me to take you to the doctor?”

  “My parents are right next door.”

  “But I’m the father,” I said. “I’m the one that gets to do all of those things. It’s my responsibility. I didn’t cheat on you so I don’t deserve to have that taken away from me. Even if I did cheat, I still don’t deserve it. I want to be as involved as possible. That’s my son too.”

  The daggers in her eyes diminished. “If I need something, I’ll call you.”

  “It’ll take me thirty minutes to get here. Let me come back.”

  “No.” She wouldn’t budge. “This isn’t your home anymore, Cayson. It’s mine.”

  I wanted to scream. “Skye, you’re making a mistake. I’m totally innocent.”

  “I wish I could believe you,” she whispered. “I really do. But I know, beyond a doubt, you’re lying to me. And that hurts more than the crime itself.”

  “Did you ever think that she put that letter in my bag in the hope you would find it?” I asked. “That this is exactly what she wants?”

  “She succeeded.”

  “But I didn’t sleep with her. She kissed me when I was unconscious—”

  “You already told me all of this.” She stepped back. “I don’t want to listen to it again.”

  I bowed my head in defeat.

  “Please leave.”

  How long would this go on for? How long would she make me suffer? “Skye.”

  She sighed in irritation. “What?”

  “I love you from the bottom of my heart. You’re everything to me. I need you to believe that. I need you to understand that. I’ve never been so happy as I’ve been since you became my wife. That’s the honest truth. Please tell me you believe me.”

  She held my gaze for a long time, her face unreadable. “I do.”

  I released the air from my lungs.

  “You were far away and isolated. You had no one else to relate to besides Laura. A part of me can understand why you did it. Three months is a long time to be alone…”

  “But—”

  “But that doesn’t excuse your behavior.” Her eyes burned in pain. “Under that logic, I could have done the same thing. And I know you wouldn’t have swept it under the rug like you’re asking me.”

  I’d never felt so defeated in my life.

  “I believe that you and I have something very special, and you never would have done something like this if you stayed here. But you did go, Cayson. You did leave. You spent three months with some girl, and feelings were bound to happen. I almost can’t hold it against you. But despite the unusual circumstances I can’t just let it go. That trust is gone, Cayson. I used to look at you as a best friend that would never hurt me. But now…everything is different. I can’t go back to what we were and act like everything is okay.” She shook her head. “It’s just not possible.”

  The tears were in the back of my eyes and they were about to break through. Her words were knives that sliced right through me. My body was weak and losing its foundation. My heart wasn’t pumping blood the way it used to. It forgot how.

  Skye stared at me without pity. If she knew I was on the verge of breaking down, she hid it. Wordlessly, she ascended the staircase and walked down the hall. The sound of a closing door came to my ears.

  I stared at my things on the floor and felt the moisture move to the surface of my eyes.

  I’d lost my family.

  ***

  Slade walked inside the apartment with groceries. “Hey.”

  I was sitting on the floor leaning against the bed.

  He put everything away then approached me. His eyes took me in with pity, the same way I looked at him when Trinity left him. He lowered himself to the floor and sat beside me. “Conrad is getting engaged.”

  “I heard. Good for him.” It was hard to be excited about anything when my life was shit.

  “Sorry you weren’t there.”

  “Wasn’t allowed to go.” Skye forbid me from being there. She didn’t even want me around anymore.

  “Have you talked to Skye?”

  “A few hours ago.”

  “It didn’t go well, I take it.”

  I shook my head. “I’m scared, Slade…”

  “Don’t be,” he said. “You will get back together. She’s just mad right now. We both know she can’t live without you.”

  “She doesn’t trust me anymore.”

  “She’ll come around and see reason,” he promised. “She still in a state of shock.”

  “She won’t let me touch her. When I tried to touch my baby she wouldn’t let me.”

  “She’s just mad right now.”

  I closed my eyes as the pain washed over me. “She hates me…”

  “She doesn’t hate you, man. Even if you really did cheat on her she wouldn’t hate you.”

  “I don’t know what to do. I keep telling her I’m innocent but she doesn’t believe me.”

  “We’ll figure it out.”

  “It’s been weeks and she hasn’t come around.”

  “Dude, listen to me.”

  I opened my eyes.

  “You will get back together. I promise.”

  “How can you make a promise like that?”

  “Because I will never stop until I get her to believe you.”

  I wanted to put my faith in that but I couldn’t. “I understand why people kill themselves…”

  Slade turned his alarmed eyes on me. “Cayson, you—”

  “I’m not going to do it,” I said quickly. “But I understand why people consider it. I’ve never bee
n in this much pain in my life, and now that I have I’m desperate to end it.”

  “It will end,” Slade said. “Don’t say stuff like that.” His eyes were still wide with fright.

  “You actually think I would leave my son? Let him grow up without a father?”

  Slade breathed a sigh of relief.

  “I would never do that.” But it was still a tempting solution if Skye never realized I was being truthful.

  “Want to go out and eat some dinner?”

  “Not hungry.”

  “We can play air hockey or something.”

  “Go home to your wife, Slade. You spend all your time with me.”

  He turned sour. “She doesn’t want me there and I don’t want to go there either.”

  I turned to him in concern. “What’s the problem?”

  “We’re just butting heads. She thinks you did it and I know you didn’t.”

  “Slade, don’t let Skye and I ruin your marriage. That’s the last thing we want.”

  “It’s just hard to talk to her when we have such different opinions. We’re equally passionate and that just makes it worse.”

  “Slade, just take her side.”

  “No,” he snapped. “I know you didn’t do it.”

  “Believe me, it’s not worth losing her over. I would never want that for you.”

  “I’m not going to lose her,” he said. “We’re just…not getting along right now.”

  “But that can change over a long period of time. Take the advice from the guy who lost his wife. I don’t want you to ever feel what I feel now.”

  Slade stared at the ground.

  “Talk to her and come to some kind of truce. I’d rather you jump on the bandwagon than defend me if you’re going to lose her over it.”

  “She would never leave me.”

  “Things change.”

  He shook his head.

  “Do that for me. Please.”

  He chuckled lightly. “You’re worried about me when you’re the one drowning.”

  “You’re my best friend. I’ll always look after you no matter what. Now please talk to her.”

  “Fine,” he said. “I will later.”

  Chapter Eight

  Slade

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “No, you need to pull your head out of your ass and realize what’s really going on.”

  “Ahh!” She grabbed her purse and threw it at me.