Fugly: Book One of the Fenley East Series

by Talie D. Hawkins

  Hunter started looking at schools near where I was applying and living across the country didn’t seem so lonely. We just didn’t have a guarantee that either of us would get in anywhere near each other, but the thought kept us motivated. I was browsing brochures of my different options in New York when aunt Haley called me. I was surprised to see her name across my screen.

  “Hi!” I exclaimed when I picked up the phone.

  “Hey, you need to be here for Christmas,” she said, not making it sound like an option. “I know the city is probably the last place you want to be with the whole Tru situation, but I need you here because I can’t come home.”

  “Why me? Why specifically me?” I couldn’t avoid him forever, especially if I planned to go to school in the same state.

  “I have, like, two shows during Christmas week and I would feel a lot better if I had family in the audience. Hey, maybe you can all come out!”

  “I’ll talk to mom about it.”

  “So, how are things with Tru?”

  “Well, I saw him.”

  “And?” she almost screamed.

  “And we’ll see.”

  “Fine. I don’t know what happened with you two, but the media here is loving how he sulks around town, aside from that outing with that one girl, which turned out to be nothing at all. They spotted her kissing some older local model,” she said casually. I tried again to understand the world she lived in. Being hounded by photographers and written about in papers was normal for her. Even though I lived it briefly for the summer, it was still an odd concept to me. I was also trying to figure out why hearing her confirm that the girl was nothing to him made me feel relieved. “I better go. Talk to your mom and see what we can arrange.”

  After we hung up I went downstairs to see what my parents were up to. My dad was watching a football game and my mom was talking on her phone, but she motioned for me to sit down and started to say her goodbyes.

  “Sorry, that was Hunter’s mom. Things are getting pretty ugly at his house and I want to tell my friend she’s going about it all wrong.” She sighed and stood up from where she had been sitting at the kitchen island. I felt like I needed to offer her some sort of reassurance.

  “Hunter is applying to art school instead of a local college. He’s tired of sports and the popular kids. It’s not who he wants to be and he can’t picture himself being around that stuff anymore.”

  “Huh, I bet that went over really well with Ed,” my mom said with dripping sarcasm. “I kind of feel like take out. What should we eat tonight?” she asked, but I could see she was still thinking about Hunter.

  “Anything sounds good to me. Oh, Aunt Haley called me this morning. She wants me to go to the city for Christmas. She has shows and wants some family around. Could we all go?” I asked.

  “Sweetie, you know I love you, right?” she said with a smirk. “You will not get me to go to New York in the middle of winter. I live in a warm place for a reason. As much as it would stink not to have you here, I think it would be nice for you to be there with her. Maybe you can leave at lunch time on Christmas and I can still have you that morning. We’ll work it out.”

  “Cool, but I’ll need a new winter coat.”

  She slapped me with a kitchen towel before joining my dad on the couch, so I grabbed a snack and went back to my room. I picked up my phone, intending to text Hunter to tattle on our moms for talking about him, but I was surprised by a picture on my screen. It was a paper plate and on it was a smile made out of french fries, and ketchup was used for eyes and a nose. Above the fry face was a mustard sunshine. I looked at it and laughed, but I was shocked when I saw the picture was from Tru. A text under it said “Eating frites-pommes in Belgium. Of course I thought of you.” I smiled at the message and wondered what he was doing in Belgium.

  “But do they taste good?” I sent as a reply.

  “...I have had better,” he sent back, along with a smiley emoji. For a few moments there was nothing. As I looked up the time difference in Belgium I felt my phone buzz again. “Would it be out of the question for me to call you?” he asked in the next text.

  “Not out of the question,” I sent, and seconds later my phone rang. I answered it right away, but immediately got tongue tied.

  “Hey,” I whispered. I could hear him sigh on the other end before he started speaking.

  “I’d like to propose something. I have had a lot of time to think, and I’ll have a lot more while I’m in Europe for the next three months, and I keep coming around to the same thing. I can’t not have you in my life. I realize I may never have you the same way, but I’d very much like us to be friends. And before you go thinking all the same things I thought of, just know that I can handle this. I can handle if you talk about other guys or start dating. I’d rather deal with that than lose you completely.”

  “Friends?” I asked as if I needed clarification.

  “Friends,” he repeated.

  “Why are you in Europe?” I asked, buying myself a moment before I had to speak again. He sighed again.

  “Well, that wasn’t a flat out no.” I heard him take a bite, probably of the fries he had sent me a picture of, before he spoke again. “I needed a change. A distraction. My dad has been coming and going from Europe and I asked if I could tag along. It’s been good to be out of the city and all the prying eyes.”

  I was reminded of what Aunt Haley told me about the media having fun with him recently and I didn’t blame him for wanting to leave. “Now I have a world traveler friend,” I said and I could hear him suck in a breath.

  “I better go,” he said, and I was sure his voice cracked. “I have to find all the fries of the world and report back to you.”

  “I expect no less,” I said with a laugh. “Be careful, Tru.”

  “Always,” he whispered.

  I felt hopeful after the call ended. Maybe he and I really could be friends and that possibility felt a lot better than the anger and sadness I had been carrying around for weeks. I suddenly didn’t feel like being cooped up in the house, so I called Hunter and Monique and asked if they wanted to meet up for food since my mom wasn’t cooking. They both agreed and as we ate our hummus and pita the subject turned to college.

  “Are you still considering study abroad?” I asked Monique. She rolled her eyes at me dramatically and I couldn’t help but turn to Hunter and smirk.

  “Considering? Are you seriously asking me that? I have forms filed, deposits made, letters of recommendation sent to the appropriate people. I’m way past ‘considering’,” she said, using air quotes.

  “You’re the only teenager I know that uses the word ‘appropriate’,” Hunter teased. I had to laugh at that. “You’re in an awfully giddy mood, Fen,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

  “You just called me out for saying ‘appropriate’ and you just used the word ‘giddy’.”

  “You’re both too much,” I said as I shook my head. “And I am not giddy. I’m just feeling okay, ya know?” They both eyed me skeptically, but Hunter took my hint and changed the subject back to colleges and the list he had narrowed down. I kept the smile on my face, but inside I was worried for him. I was worried for how his dad would respond when he knew he couldn’t talk Hunter into trying for a sports scholarship, but I was proud of him for choosing to do something that made him happy. Little did we know things would escalate to a boiling point.

  Later that night as I was getting ready for bed I heard a knock on the front door. My mom got to it before me and all I heard was a gasp from her as she pulled Hunter inside. I stood at the edge of the hallway in shock at what I saw.

  “Who did this?” my mom asked, frantically. “We should get you to the hospital,” she said as she got up and grabbed her keys.

  “No, please...I’m okay. I promise it looks a lot worse than it is.”

  “Hunter,” I whispered. He had a thin line of blood coming from his nose and another around his bottom lip. I could see where it was split and swollen and his right
eye and cheek were already starting to turn purple with bruises. I sat down next to him and my mom went to the kitchen to get the first aid kit. She handed it to me and I nodded to her to let her know I would take over from here. Reluctantly, she left the room and I could hear her whispering to my dad from down the hall. I opened the bottle of alcohol and poured some onto a cotton ball. “What happened?” I asked, as I dabbed the cut on his mouth. He flinched and sucked in a breath.

  “You could say my dad was a little upset when I said I wasn’t playing baseball this year,” he said, with a humorless laugh, then he winced again.

  “He did this?” Hunter nodded yes and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “You’re not going back there. You’re staying here.”

  “That’s great because I was told not to go back.” My mom rounded the corner and marched back into the room. She had been listening and angry did not do justice to the look on her face.

  “I should go over there, or better yet, you are a minor. I should call the authorities,” she said as she marched to her phone, but we both yelled for her to stop.

  “Mom, no! He’s staying here. That’s enough for now.” She looked back and forth between us then put her hands up in surrender.

  “I’ll have your dad help me set up the guest room,” she said as she left us alone again. We sat there in silence for a few minutes, then Hunter sucked in a breath as he touched his cut lip.

  “I’m sorry, I should have offered you some ice,” I said as I got up to get it, but he grabbed my hand and stopped me. He swallowed hard then let go of my hand.

  “Thank you,” he said as he looked me in the eyes and I couldn’t remember a time when those words made me sadder.

  33.

  Hunter had been living in the guest room for a few weeks, and other than the fact that he slept under the same roof, nothing much seemed different. He had always been around our place anyway and it didn’t feel any different having him there full time. Thanksgiving was only a few days away and we all tried to play down the fact that Hunter’s family had spent it with us almost every year, but this year it would be different. His mom and dad wound’t be joining us because my mom made it clear that they were not welcome.

  We were both in the kitchen helping my mom decide what kind of pie to make when I heard my phone buzz. I instantly started laughing when I looked at it. Tru had sent me a picture of english “chips” with a red circle he had drawn around them and a line crossing them out.

  “No go on the english version?” I said in a text.

  “Affirmative. They taste like vinegar, and not in a good way,” he sent back. I sent him the green faced emoji that looked like it was going to be sick. I put my phone down, not realizing I was grinning from ear to ear until I looked up to see Hunter and my mom staring at me with annoyed expressions.

  “Sorry, so what did we decide?” I asked, clearing my throat.

  “Traditional. Pecan, apple, and pumpkin,” Hunter said as he looked at me. I nodded my approval then reminded him that we were meeting Monique and Amber.

  “So glad we have the rest of the week off,” I said as we got in his car.

  “Me too.” He started up the engine, but didn’t start driving right away. I looked at him and wondered what he was waiting for, then he turned to me. “Hey, what do you want for your birthday?” I wrinkled my brow in confusion at his question. I was genuinely surprised that he was thinking about my birthday, which was December first and coming up fast.

  “Did my mom remind you?”

  “No,” he said, defensively. “I never forget.” He was right. He had never forgotten. I had never had a party, but he was always there at some point in the day and I always assumed it was because his mom made him come over. “Something different? What about a wild birthday party?”

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “I think we both know parties are not my thing.”

  “What about a movie?”

  “That actually sounds great. I’m pretty sure they are starting to show classic Christmas movies downtown.”

  “Then that is what we’ll do,” he said as we took off.

  To my surprise, he included Monique and Amber in on my birthday plans and Monique was excited because they were showing Miracle on 34th Street.

  “Am I ruining Thanksgiving?” Hunter asked as we drove home. I looked at him curiously and when he glanced at me he could see the question on my face. “You know what I mean. Stuff with our families? Like, is your mom stressed because of me?”

  “Hunter no. You’re not ruining anything. If anyone was guilty it would be your dad...and your mom for taking his side. And really this will be like any other Thanksgiving, except that you’ll already be there instead of showing up at 2:30 and falling asleep on my couch and not leaving until the next day. You can fall asleep in your room and still wake up and eat left over pie with me in the morning.” We pulled in and he parked his car. He turned to me and I couldn’t read the look on his face.

  “You make it sound like the best day ever,” he whispered, holding my gaze in his. Our eyes stayed locked and something about the way he was looking at me gave me goosebumps, but we were both pulled out of our trance when his phone started ringing. “Jessica?” he said in surprise when he looked at her name on the screen. “I can’t even begin to imagine what she would want.” He stepped out of the car and took the call, speaking in hushed tones and pacing. I decided to give him some privacy and I went inside. I didn’t see him for the rest of the night, but I did hear him slam his bedroom door.

  As I wondered what their conversation could have been about I heard my own phone ring. It was a text from Tru with a beautiful picture of the sunrise over Big Ben.

  “Sleepless in London,” was all it said. I sighed and thought about responding, but I didn’t trust myself, so I put my phone down and decided I would try not to be sleepless too.

  I found Hunter on the couch the next morning. He didn’t look up from his phone when I walked into the room yawning.

  “Your mom went to the store to get ‘all the fixings’,” he said in a monotone. Tomorrow was Thanksgiving, which meant that today would be dessert day. We always made our desserts the day before and Hunter was usually around to help.

  “How are you holding up?” I asked, wondering if he was missing his family as the holiday grew closer.

  “Me?” He looked up at me in surprise. “I’m fine, why?”

  “You know. Is the absence of your family bothering you?”

  “No. What’s bothering me is Jessica calling and basically blackmailing me to get me back on the baseball team. Apparently they don’t think they can be state champions without me. I’m not even that good.”

  “Wait, back up. How...what could she be blackmailing you with?” He looked up at me then back down at his phone. He didn’t answer my question.

  “I need to go get some stuff done. I’ll see you in a while,” he said, offering me no explanation. I wondered if he was going to give in to her game and worried that he would give up everything he had been working at to keep whatever she knew under wraps. I couldn’t imagine anything he could have done that would be bad enough for him to want to keep hidden. I flopped down on my couch and felt frustrated that I couldn’t help him. I had to trust that if he needed me he would come to me.

  That night, as I was tossing and turning instead of sleeping, I heard a light knock on my bedroom door.

  “Fen, are you awake?” I heard Hunter whisper.

  “Yeah, come in,” I whispered back. I pulled my covers up and sat up in bed as he took the spot in my window seat. He looked around at the walls, studying the pictures he had seen a million times but never paid attention to. I could tell there was something he wanted to say, so I waited patiently for him to talk.

  “I fucked up, Fen.” I didn’t like how desperate he sounded.

  “What do you mean? Does this have something to do with Jessica?”

  “Yeah. How did I ever think I could trust her?” he said as he ran a nervo
us hand through his hair.

  “Trust her with what? What does she know?” I asked. He sighed and leaned his head back against the glass of my window. He looked up at the ceiling, silently, then finally started talking.

  “Do you remember what a mess I was during baseball season last year?”

  “Sort of.” Hunter didn’t really include me in much back then, but I didn’t think this was the time to point that out.

  “I was stressing. So much pressure from my dad. He always talked about getting scouts he knew to come see me play. Like every word out of his mouth had something to do with baseball. I started to hate it. I dreaded every game and my performance was starting to slip, glades started to slip...I was a fucking mess.”

  As I listened I realized I had been just as bad a friend as I accused him of being. He had been going through all of this and I had no idea. I was so caught up in myself and I couldn’t see past that.

  “I didn’t know it got that bad, Hunter,” I whispered.

  “Of course not. I hid it as much as I could. Fuck,” he said and he laughed a humorless laugh. “I hated everything. I just wanted something...anything to take the edge off. Something that could take me out of my own head for a while. The one time I did it, it was caught on camera by my super loyal ex-girlfriend.”

  “Hunter, how bad are we talking?” I was nervous for his answer.

  “Bad. I went to a party and found pills in the medicine cabinet. I took them home and decided to see if they would work for me. Jessica took some too, but lucky for her, she’s not in the video. Just me, a bottle of stolen pain pills, and plenty of alcohol,” he said as he looked down at the ground. The fact the he was pressured into sports and being popular wasn’t a secret. His dad was a star athlete in school and he expected the same from his son. What I didn’t know was how much this pressure hurt Hunter.

  “Why would she take a video of that?”