Sparrows & Sacrifice

by Nellie K Neves

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  “The key is Iris,” Liam said in a hushed tone. “If we can get her to tell us when the shipment is coming, then we’ll have him.”

  Their cabin felt tight with the five of us crammed inside, Ryder, Liam, Gabe, Tasha, and me. We’d arrived at different times to avoid suspicion, though Tasha had it the worst since she wasn’t supposed to be out of the house to begin with.

  “I don’t see what the problem is,” Tasha said, annoyed as usual. “Cyrus hates her, I can’t imagine the feeling isn’t mutual. She’ll be easy to turn.”

  “It’s her husband,” I said. Ryder’s hand rested on my back. It had nothing to do with steadying me, but his close proximity made it hard to form sentences in a linear thought pattern.

  “You’re probably the closest to her, Lindy. Could you talk to her?”

  I stared at Ryder with wide eyes, as if he’d betrayed me somehow.

  “Sure, I’ll let her know I’m here to overthrow Eden’s Haven and ask politely if she could help me do it.”

  He smirked. “You know best.”

  My deep throated growl sounded far too much like him, and I sensed his pride. But they were right. With an injection scheduled within the hour, I had the opportunity.

  “Fine. I’ll do it tonight.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  I hadn’t missed a single injection in my time at Eden’s Haven. I’d learned the cost when I’d been at the Rockin’ B. Iris’ rigid schedule kept me accountable as well. The needle tips rattled from the doorway of Willow’s cabin before I ever knew she’d arrived.

  I peeled back the packaging for the syringe. She handed me the wet wipe and allowed me a moment to clean the space on my upper thigh. In the past, I preferred to be alone during my injections. Injection sites left me exposed, not to mention the pain and the feeling of weakness I hated sharing with anyone. My private moment, and I shared it three days a week with a stranger.

  “Hurry up.” Iris snapped the command at me, more impatient than normal. “I promised Fern I would watch Moonlight tonight.”

  “Where’s Fern going?”

  Iris rolled her eyes with the drama of a teen. “Off with Raife, I suppose. She said they needed to talk about serious matters. I hope it goes how she’s expecting. That child still needs her mother.”

  A tactful way of saying, “Hopefully, Raife doesn’t kill her.” I appreciated even her veiled attempt.

  The needle slid into my skin with ease. Five years of injections gave me plenty of practice. The bruises and welts still appeared, but that had more to do with the medication, not my technique.

  “She’s a sweet girl that Moonlight, isn’t she?”

  We’d never engaged in small talk before. My words pricked her suspicion.

  “She’s not as bad as the other children.”

  I depressed the plunger on the syringe and let the medication ease into my leg.

  “Do you have any children, Iris?”

  A dangerous question, especially since I knew the answer. One child, killed last year in a bank robbery. That event triggered a break in her husband and started the nightmare at Eden’s Haven.

  “I did.” She motioned for the syringe. “He died last year.”

  “I’m so sorry.” I handed her the syringe before I pressed my palm against the injection site. “Was it here? Was it sickness?”

  In one definitive motion, she snapped the needle with a pair of pliers and let the tip fall into the can.

  “George was caught in a bank robbery. He was shot.”

  “Oh Iris, I’m so sorry.”

  Every other night after she snapped the needle from my syringe, she left in a hurry.

  Every other night.

  “It was my fault, you know. I had transferred some funds to him for his tuition. His father didn’t approve of it, but Georgie was our only child. I had to help him.”

  My medication seared my veins from the inside out. Coherent thought amidst the pain challenged me.

  “You can’t blame yourself,” I whispered through tight lips.

  Her tears glistened in the low light of the lamps. “Why not? His father does. That’s why I’m here and not in the house.” She never spoke about Cyrus as her husband. “He has sentenced me to this life of watching after all the women and children because I failed so miserably as a mother. He won’t even look at me anymore.”

  Love, always a horrible slave master. It still held her in its clutches, even after everything he’d put her through. She waited for the day he’d send for her. The long anticipated day of forgiveness always waited over the next horizon.

  “I’m sorry about the whole thing. I lost my son as well. I need comfort as much as—” Iris let the emotion take over and buried her face in her hands.

  “It’s not right.” I let my words sink in a little before I spoke again. “The way he treats you is not right.”

  “It’s my fault.” She sobbed into her hands. “This is my punishment.”

  I set my hand on her shoulder. “It’s not, but if you let all these women and children continue to suffer under your watch, that will be your fault.”

  Her head jerked up. My stomach tightened as I looked into her narrowed eyes. I’d overstepped. She saw me through my disguise.

  “Who are you?” Iris asked.

  The damp air settled over my skin. We were alone, but I swore I felt eyes on us, surveillance, the demons and goblins that haunted the property, feasting on the evil that floated in the air.

  “He’s robbing banks, Iris. Can you live with yourself knowing some other mother might lose her son?”

  She started to argue, but no excuse could take away the guilt. “He said we needed the money. He said the banks owed us because of what happened to our son.”

  “You’re a good person,” I whispered. “You take care of us as if we were your own. Don’t let him do this. Make the killing stop.”

  Her face turned away from me, eyes searching the night through the open door. A full minute passed before she asked, “What do you need from me?”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  “What do you mean they’re bringing in the weapons in the morning?” Gabe hissed through his clenched teeth. “There’s no way we can be ready by then.”

  “We have to.” I glanced to the others huddled in the cabin. “Iris won’t betray him again. This is our window.”

  “I’ll get the message to Shane tonight,” Ryder said. “The agents will be ready, I’m sure of it.”

  “How sure?” Liam’s eyes narrowed. “Because our success depends on them. We can’t overthrow the whole regime with a team of eight.”

  Ryder didn’t bother to respond to Liam’s question. “Lindy can signal our start time with her medallion. Two clicks and we’re all set.”

  “Sparrow, you tell the women to be ready,” Gabe said, “and I’ll get a message to Sky.”

  I squeezed Ryder’s hand. “You better get going if you’re going to get back again.”

  The words teased at my lips, but confessing my love didn’t seem appropriate in front of the other two rebels. With a quick kiss to my forehead, he disappeared, and I began counting the minutes until he would return.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  I waited for him in Willow’s cabin, sitting, then pacing, then staring at my sparrow medallion as I considered the morning’s lofty aspirations. Fatigue weighted my eyes until I couldn’t fight any longer. I drifted off staring at the bronze outline of the bird, hoping Ryder hadn’t been caught.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Morning light found me with Ryder’s arms wrapped around my waist, tight in his embrace, face nuzzled against my neck. I breathed a sigh of relief and rolled deeper into his arms and warmth.

  There’d never been a more perfect time, his face a half a breath away from mine. My fingers slipped over his jaw, following the edge like a path, every inch of it littered with stubble. Showers, food, my microwave—all of it within our grasp and the excitement left me breathless, but still he didn’t kno
w. He had no idea how deeply I cared for him, and I wrestled with my decisions about the future.

  Chapter 34

  Breakfast held no indication that the day would be any different—apples with a small amount of toast for the recovering children. Fern’s face betrayed her distress, her jaw puffy and swollen. She met my eyes for a moment and, like her mother had done in the past, she pulled my thoughts from their hidden places to examine each one. By the time she walked away, I still didn’t know her verdict.

  Genesis slid in next to me. “Fern is on board.”

  “With us?” I whispered.

  My ally spoke evenly and without emotion to avoid detection. “She asked Raife to leave last night, for their daughter’s sake. As you can see from the bruising around her jaw, the answer was no.” Genesis bit into her apple with a crunch. “She wants in.”

  I doubted her ability to betray her husband, but we needed all the help we could get. “Have her get the women and children out. That will free me up to shoot if I need to.”

  “Understood.” Genesis pushed free of the table. She hesitated and looked out over the fields. “You know, if I never eat an apple again, it’ll be too soon.”

  I stared at her half-eaten apple, edges starting to brown. Chopper blades lit up my ears, but it flew far enough away that no one else paid it any attention. In my bones, I knew Uncle Shane had kept his promises yet again.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  We gathered all the weapons we could find in Willow’s cabin. Knives from the kitchen, two guns Liam and Gabe had hidden, plus a few homemade kerosene bombs Genesis constructed. Not much considering the ammunition we faced. The heavy lifting belonged to the armed agents. In reality, our job was to get the innocent to safety.

  We’d built a plan based off my instincts and operated reliant on trust of a team I barely knew. I worked carefully in Willow’s cabin, arranging the knives from largest to smallest, then by type, then by size again. Busy work, something to keep me from breaking out of my skin. I registered Ryder’s footfalls entering the cabin, but my nerves were raw. My body went rigid as his hand grazed my back.

  “Is it time?” I asked without turning around.

  “No, not yet. The ammunition hasn’t arrived. FBI wants those guns.”

  I choked on my disappointment and went back to arranging the knives.

  “How are you holding up?”

  “That’s a stupid question.” I snapped the words at him.

  He knew me better than to take offense. “I know I’m supposed to be waiting patiently, but we could be home tonight. I’m wondering where that puts us.”

  Gripping the largest knife by the hilt, I stabbed it into the wood to release my tension.

  “She’s prettier than I am.” A ludicrous pairing of words in that tiny cabin with everything we were facing, but I couldn’t help it. “Vanessa, she’s prettier than I am.”

  Ryder didn’t hesitate. “I guess she is.”

  Hot jealousy boiled up inside my chest. I jammed another knife even deeper into the wooden shelf. “You’re a jerk.”

  Ryder turned my earlier words back on me. “Well, it was a stupid thing for you to say.” His exhaling breath drained out of him. “It’s true, she’s pretty, but beauty fades.” His hand caught my waist. I marveled at his bravery to touch me after the words he’d said. “But you don’t.”

  I spun a knife by the hilt and wrapped my fingers around it, ready to bury it deep in the wood once more.

  “I don’t what?”

  Ryder eased closer, his other hand resting against my hip.

  “You don’t fade. Not in presence, not in personality, and never in my heart. You don’t fade. She’s pretty to the world. You are my world. She’ll never have anything on you.”

  He had a way of redeeming himself at the perfect time. I had to give him that.

  “When I ask how you’re holding up, I don’t mean about all this,” His lips bumped against my neck, “I mean you, Lindy, how are you holding up? Has anything changed? Are we any closer to being free of those memories?”

  Every finger tightened on the hilt, but not out of anger, out of desperation to hang onto my final shred of self-control. His lips pressed against my earlobe, my jaw, and my neck again.

  “I swear I’ve lost my mind a thousand times since we got here, but you stay strong no matter what. When do you break down?” Ryder asked. “When do you let yourself lose control? When do you fall apart, Huckleberry?”

  The knife rattled against the counter because my grip evaporated. My body pressed back into his, shifting to give up my neck, my shoulder, anything as long as he never stopped touching me.

  “I try not to,” I said. “I never know if I’ll be able to put it back together again.”

  “You can break with me. I’ll fix you every time.” His hands pressed at my hips and turned me to face him. “I’m not going anywhere. You know you can trust me.”

  For the first time, the words carried the weight they were supposed to. My fingers slipped over his collarbone, past the cotton ribbing of his neckline, and laced around his neck. I wasn’t sure if I kissed him, or if he kissed me, just that we were kissing, and I never wanted to stop. His hand slipped over my lower back and pushed up between my shoulder blades, lifting me into his embrace and away from everything we worried about. The phrase I longed to tell him bounced around in my mouth, but I dared not pull away for fear the fire within me might collapse in on itself. Instead, I pulled him closer.

  Ryder lifted me onto the counter, our heights shifted so I was taller, and his hands rested against my thighs. Neither of us pulled away to break our kiss. The words I needed to tell him burned my mouth like hot coals, but I held his shirt tight in my grasp and leaned into his affection.

  “Ryder,” I whispered between breathless kisses, “Ryder, I have to tell you something.”

  He stared up at me, breathing through his mouth because there wasn’t enough air for what we felt. “No, whatever you want to say can wait. I don’t want a deathbed confession I have to question later. Tell me tonight. Whatever it is, tell me tonight.”

  He pulled me from the counter and collapsed into my kiss again. Desperate to stretch out our last moments on earth, I gave into his request. We clung to every stolen moment like the dying wishing for five more minutes on earth. It all made me want to cry and laugh and scream at once, and I hated that I loved it so much. The feeling of being alive in that very moment, of knowing that he loved me as much as I loved him.

  The door creaked and Tasha cursed.

  “Really? Right now?” She waited for us to break apart before she said, “Come on, it’s time. The guns are here.”

  Ryder watched me with round eyes, maybe second guessing his choice to wait, but our moment had vanished.

  “I guess it’s time, Little Sparrow,” Ryder whispered.

  With trembling hands, I pulled the medallion from my shirt and pressed the center twice.

  Chapter 35

  Chaos exploded around us. Helicopters filled the sky overhead. Agents in helmets and bulletproof vests poured from the woods. Cries from the children caught the wind. They’d scattered like field mice. Genesis screamed over the cacophony, but the children refused to follow. Taking me by the hand, Ryder pulled me behind a building as the first sounds of automatic gunfire rattled the air.

  I poked my head out from around the cabin and spotted Fern crouched behind our overturned table, pale Moonlight smothered against her chest. I stood to run to them, but Ryder pulled me back.

  “Wait!” I turned, ready for a fight, but instead he pressed my gun into my hands. “I stole it back last night. I think it missed you.”

  Holding my gun in my hands spoke to how much had changed in minutes. Sparrow vanished. I was Lindy Johnson, and I was a force to be reckoned with.

  “I’ll cover you,” Ryder said as he urged me to the edge again.

  I dashed out, keeping low to the ground, knowing the federal agents would see me as a threat with a gun in my hands.
Friendly fire proved as dangerous as my enemy’s at Eden’s Haven.

  My feet slid in the mud as I pulled in close to Fern and Moonlight. “Come on,” I told Fern. “Hold her, and we’ll run on the count of three.”

  I pointed in the direction and counted down. She took off a little before my count ended and I rose quickly to cover her escape. A bullet whizzed by my head and sunk into a cabin wall, wood splintering and throwing shards into my face. A second bullet whizzed overhead. Ryder’s shot caught the assailant in the chest and dropped him.

  Genesis gathered Fern in her arms and shoved her toward the mass exodus of women and children. Two more children pushed past me, swishing the fabric of my skirt. I pressed my palms to their backs to hurry and direct them. Beyond the tree line two men with “FBI” emblazoned on their vests welcomed the children and moved them to safety.

  “Lindy! Get down!”

  I responded in the next second, smashing my body into the dirt. Mud clung to my skin as I crawled to the nearest building. Bullets splintered the wood near my head. Fear for Ryder’s safety split my focus. I couldn’t keep him safe. Distance hedged up between us, multiplying with every second. I released the clip from my gun and checked the indicator on the side. Seven bullets left—not enough, not when Eden’s Haven stockpiled an unlimited supply of automatic weapons.

  A twig snapped to my left. I turned to stare down the muzzle of Thomas’ rifle.

  “Hey, little pig. Why are you all alone?”

  Arrogance seeped from his pores. To him, I was nothing, another animal to slaughter. I glared up at him, my hatred hot in my veins. My hand shot up and gripped the barrel of the rifle, twisting it and jamming it back into his chest with all the rage I harbored for him. He fell back, unprepared for my retaliation. My kick connected with his torso. Air expelled from his lungs as he tumbled backward. I whipped the rifle around and slammed the wooden base hard over his head, once, twice, and then a third time. When he finally stopped moving, I tucked the rifle under my arm, leveled it at his head, and shook with fury.