by Bloom, Tracy
‘Good idea,’ muttered Ben.
‘Braindead, why don’t you take the honeymoon suite? You and Abby. We’ll look after Logan tonight. He’ll be fine with us,’ said Katy.
Braindead stared at her for a moment before muttering a thank you. He hoisted Logan into his arms and then took his wife’s hand as they headed back towards the hotel.
* * *
Changing rooms again was not as simple as it could have been. Katy and Ben walked back into the honeymoon suite where they had lain on the bed earlier and talked about their night so excitedly. She knew it was entirely the right thing to do to let Braindead and Abby have the honeymoon suite, they needed time alone, but nonetheless she had been looking forward to sleeping in the kingsize bed even if that was the only thing that would be happening in it. She stuffed her still-soaking-wet dress into a carrier bag and slung it onto the top of the case before putting on her pyjamas. What a ridiculous night it had been.
To top everything off, there had been an altercation in the hallway while the kids’ cots were transported late at night. As Ben and Braindead tried to manoeuvre a cot into the lift, a porter had suddenly appeared and started shouting at them in Spanish, waving his arms around. Of course, the cot got jammed and the only option was to go and find Gabriel to translate to the poor porter that they were not trying to steal the cot, they were merely trying to save their friends’ marriage. The porter looked somewhat dubious at this explanation and remained stuck to Ben’s side until finally two cots and three children were safely installed in their bedroom.
‘Want Daddy,’ said Logan to Katy as she shut the door and wondered how on earth they were going to settle three children and get some sleep. It was ten o’clock.
‘He’s with Mummy, sweetheart,’ she said to him. ‘You’re having a sleepover with us just for tonight and do you know what we are going to do because it’s a special sleepover?’
‘No!’ said Logan, his eyes wide.
‘Just because you are here we are all going to get into bed and watch cartoons as a special treat until you go to sleep.’
‘Tractor Ted?’ asked Logan.
‘Yes,’ said Katy. ‘Of course, but only if you get your pyjamas on super quick and get into bed.’
‘That bed?’ he said, pointing to their bed.
Katy looked at him and thought she might cry.
‘I wouldn’t if I were you,’ said Ben to Logan. ‘Katy is the worst snorer and she farts,’ he told him.
‘Mummy not fart,’ said Logan with a frown.
‘This one does,’ he said, pointing his finger at Katy. ‘Like a trooper. You are better off in your own bed, mate. Believe me. Now go and brush your teeth quick.’
‘I do not fart in bed!’ said Katy crossly.
‘Did you want Logan wriggling next to you all night?’
‘No.’
‘Well then.’
She threw a pillow at Ben.
‘And so ends our romantic night,’ she told him.
* * *
Braindead finally shut the door of the honeymoon suite when all the sleeping arrangements had been settled. He paused with his hand on the door handle. He was so tired.
He turned round and trudged into the main room with the enormous kingsize bed and the beautiful view of the bay. It was even nicer than the honeymoon suite they’d had on their own honeymoon, he thought. Poor Ollie. It must have been something close to torture sleeping in here.
Abby was sitting on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands. She hadn’t really said anything since they got out of the water. She’d sat shivering next to him on the boat, clutching Logan on her knee as though she was in her own world. When they got back to the hotel she had packed her bag in silence and made her own way to the honeymoon suite before kissing Logan goodbye. Then she had fled to the bathroom and locked herself in whilst Braindead took Logan down to Ben and Katy’s room.
Braindead sat down slowly beside her. A million questions flew through his head but he didn’t know where to start. He had no idea what frame of mind she was in. The truth was he’d had no idea for some time.
‘I’m sorry,’ Abby muttered through her fingers. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘What for?’ asked Braindead.
She took her head out of her hands, taking a deep breath.
‘For being an utter cow.’
Braindead said nothing. She had been a cow. It was a fact.
They both stared ahead.
‘Why have you been a cow?’ he ventured. He couldn’t go, ‘There, there, it’s okay,’ because it wasn’t: it was not okay.
She turned to look at him and he watched as her face crumpled. Ugly crumpled. He had never seen her like that before. She looked like someone was forcing an invisible hand over her face and squashing it up.
She heaved and then began to sob.
He couldn’t watch and do nothing. He reached forward, pulled her to his chest and held her. Held her until the sobs grew less. Held her while he wondered whether they were going to survive this storm.
It was some time before Abby recovered enough to raise her head to reveal a river of streaked mascara and snot running down her still-crumpled face.
Braindead got up and went into the bathroom to fetch some tissues. He couldn’t find any so he brought out a wet flannel, which he’d added too much water to. It dripped all the way through the bathroom and bedroom and then onto Abby.
‘Thank you,’ she muttered, taking it off him and wiping her face. Water dripped profusely onto her knees.
She looked at it when she’d finished, wondering where to put it. Her face was now soaking wet and she needed a towel.
‘Give me a minute,’ she said, getting up and going back into the bathroom.
When she came back, Braindead was still standing up. Too restless to sit down, he was practically pacing the room.
Abby dropped down on the bed and took a deep breath.
‘I don’t know what’s been wrong with me,’ she said. ‘I… I just I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m a terrible mother, I know I am and I’m so sorry. I just can’t do it and I know I should know what to do but every time I look at Logan I just panic and… and… I freeze and I’m so scared that I’ll do it wrong and that would be a disaster so it’s just easier to let you do it because you’re so much better than me and… and I’m scared, Braindead, all the time. I feel scared and I’m never scared but I have this feeling in my tummy that won’t go away and I think it’s fear but I don’t really know but it makes me feel sick and then… and then…’ she paused, looking down at the floor, kicking her toe against the carpet.
‘And when I wake up in the morning the feeling is really bad and I don’t want to get up.’ She looked up at Braindead, tears flooding her eyes at this admission. ‘I don’t want to get up. I dread going to sleep because then morning will come and I’ll wake up and I know I won’t want to get up and I feel so sick and I don’t know what to do about that. Because I feel so terrible but I don’t know why really. I just feel so unhappy.’
She sank her head into her hands again.
Braindead looked down at her.
She looked up suddenly.
‘Do you still want to be married to me?’ she said, tears rolling down her cheeks.
‘Yes!’ said Braindead without hesitation or thought. ‘Of course I do,’ he added, taking a seat beside her again and putting his arm around her. ‘Do you still want to be married to me?’
She turned to look at him but didn’t speak. Braindead thought his heart might stop.
‘Yes,’ she eventually whispered. ‘Of course I do.’
They both cried and rocked on the edge of the bed.
‘But you looked happy talking to that man,’ said Braindead eventually, fighting back the tears. ‘You’ve looked happy this week going out with those girls.’
Abby started to shake her head.
‘I kind of was. I was trying to be the me that I was before we got married,’ she said. ‘I thought
that might help. I thought if I could pretend I was that me again then I might be happy again and I sort of was, and it was good to get drunk and forget everything for a while, and it even made me feel good to have men chat me up.’ She looked down, ashamed. ‘I kept thinking I’d found myself again, you know. That I knew who I was again. I know how to go out and have a good time on a night out. I just don’t know how to be a good mum or a good wife and… and I feel like a total failure.’
‘No,’ said Braindead. ‘You’re not a failure. Don’t ever think that. Marrying you was the happiest day of my life along with the day Logan arrived. You gave me all that. How can you be a failure?’
‘But you don’t need me any more,’ she said. ‘You don’t want me even.’
‘What do you mean? Of course I want you.’
She looked back up into his eyes. ‘You don’t look at me how you used to,’ she said.
‘I do.’
‘You don’t. You look at me like… like I am just a mum… not your wife, not the woman you married.’
Braindead stared back at her and swallowed.
‘You don’t want to spend any time with just me. All you care about is spending time with Logan. I’m jealous, Braindead. Of our son!’
Abby buried her head in her hands again and started to sob quietly.
Braindead rubbed her back, fighting back the tears himself.
‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured over and over. ‘I’m sorry.’
When she finally seemed to calm down he gently grasped her shoulders and lifted her up so he could see her face. He wiped a tear from her left eye and then her right.
‘You’re a mess,’ he said.
‘I know,’ she agreed.
‘But you’re my mess,’ he said, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘My most beautiful, gorgeous, sexy mess that ever there was.’
‘Really?’ she asked. ‘Do you really think that?’
‘Of course I do,’ he replied. ‘I love you so much and all I want is for you to be happy.’
‘I’m sorry I’m not happy,’ she replied looking down.
He tipped her chin back up towards him with his hand so she had to look at him. ‘We’re going to work that out,’ he told her. ‘Together. I married you Abby. The love of my life. We’ll work it out. It’s what we promised to do the day we got married.’
She gazed into his eyes for a second longer before she smiled a watery smile and whispered, ‘I love you.’ Then the tears started to flow again.
He held her and she held him back until they slowly lay down together in the honeymoon suite.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ben had set his alarm for the following day. They’d found that getting up at 7 a.m. and getting into breakfast early was by far the best way to ensure that they managed to have a calm and peaceful meal. It had taken them nearly a week of trial and error to work this out.
None of the kids were awake so Ben and Katy crept into the bathroom to do their ablutions and then one by one gently woke the three children. They changed nappies, pulled on shorts and T-shirts, brushed teeth and were standing in front of the lift by 7.30 a.m. with three still bleary-eyed children.
‘Do you think we’re early enough?’ asked Ben, nervously looking at his watch.
‘Hope so,’ yawned Katy. ‘I need about twelve cups of coffee today.’
The lift door pinged open, revealing an elderly couple looking very bright and breezy for this time in the morning.
‘Which number?’ asked Millie, taking her station by the buttons.
‘Zero,’ said Katy, giving the elderly couple a warm smile.
‘Will Uncle Braindead and Auntie Abby be at breakfast?’ asked Millie.
‘Maybe not just yet,’ replied Katy.
‘Maybe they stayed up late watching Peppa Pig too,’ said Millie.
‘Maybe,’ said Katy.
‘Can we do that again tonight? Peppa Pig, I mean,’ asked Millie, ‘or are we only allowed when Logan’s mummy and daddy have had an argument and might get divorced?’
The woman in the lift looked up at Katy sharply.
‘What’s ’vorced?’ asked Jack.
‘It’s when mummies and daddies don’t like each other any more,’ said Millie before Katy could step in.
‘But there’s no need to worry about that,’ said Katy. ‘That’s not going to happen to Logan’s mummy and daddy.’
There was quiet for a moment.
‘If Logan sleeps with us tonight, can we watch Peppa Pig until midnight again?’ asked Millie.
‘Oh look, we’ve arrived,’ declared Ben, dashing out of the lift like his bottom was on fire. ‘Quick, kids,’ he shouted over his shoulder. ‘We need to get our seats.’
Katy tried to maintain her dignity and leave the lift in an orderly manner but she did jostle the elderly man in her desire to get in front of the couple in the queue for breakfast.
As she walked through the doors into the dining room with Logan still in her arms, she looked over to their favourite seats and sighed with relief to see Ben waving back at her triumphantly. She made her way over to the coveted area, which had a large table in the window next to a small child-height table ideal for the toddlers and for Millie. But best of all it was positioned next to a screen playing cartoons so that the adults could eat in peace whilst the kids were occupied. Utter bliss and so worth getting up at 7 a.m. in the morning for whilst on holiday. Just for a bit of peace at breakfast time.
‘Well done,’ she said to Ben, plopping down her bag and letting Logan down. ‘Do you want to go and fetch their breakfast whilst I wait here? But could you just grab me a coffee first and then all will be well.’
‘You betcha,’ said Ben, diving off to the coffee machine then depositing a cup in front of her before going off in search of a plateful of carbs to keep the kids happy for at least half an hour.
We’ve nailed this, thought Katy. Just as we get near to the end of our holiday. Perhaps they should have booked for two weeks and then they might have had half a chance of enjoying the second week, having worked out how to do everything. Or maybe not.
‘Oh, well done,’ said Daniel, approaching with Silvie and Gabriel. ‘We thought we might have missed it but I said to Gabriel I thought you’d be on it, given you have three kids with you. And you got a high chair. There you go, Silvie.’
‘How did you sleep?’ asked Gabriel, looking concerned.
‘Funnily enough, like an angel,’ replied Katy. ‘I think all the excitement must have worn me out.’
‘Any sign of Braindead and Abby yet?’ asked Daniel.
‘No,’ said Katy, shaking her head. ‘I think they will want to be down soon,’ she added. ‘Braindead doesn’t like to be parted from Logan for too long, does he?’
‘They will have had much to talk about hopefully,’ said Gabriel. ‘I hope they talked all night and are exhausted. That is what they need.’
‘We shall see,’ said Katy. ‘We shall see.’
‘Morning,’ said Ben, arriving back at the table. ‘I have Silvie’s customary pancake here,’ he said, setting a plate down in front of her. ‘For Madame. Enjoy,’ he said, smiling at her.
‘By the way,’ he then whispered to Katy. ‘There’s Nutella by the toast section, so I’ve hidden it under the jam for safe-keeping until you’re ready for it.’ She had been most upset that for the last two days it had run out before she got to the toast course of her breakfast. ‘Why don’t you go and get yours and I’ll sort out this lot,’ he said, nodding at the kids.
Half an hour later and they were having a civilised conversation about hanging baskets whilst the children played with their leftover food and spat milk at each other. Katy thought this might actually be the high point of their holiday.
Braindead and Abby appeared hand in hand at the door and looked around.
‘Over here,’ shouted Ben, standing up and waving.
‘Holding hands,’ muttered Daniel under his breath.
‘I know,’ said Ka
ty, silently praying that was a good sign.
‘You look knackered,’ said Ben, looking them up and down. ‘Good night in the bridal suite, was it?’
Katy groaned. What was her husband thinking? She doubted very much if Braindead had made full use of the bridal suite. Very much indeed. Indeed it was clearly destined that none of them were to make proper use of it.
‘How are you feeling?’ Katy asked Abby, who had so far been looking furtively at the ground.
‘I’m okay,’ she said quietly. ‘I’m sorry,’ she blurted out. ‘For making you go out and everything. I’m so sorry.’
‘Oh, Abby!’ said Katy, standing up and putting her arms around her. ‘It’s okay.’ They stood there for a long time whilst Katy looked over her shoulder at Braindead. He mouthed ‘Thank you’ at her.
‘We’d like to take you all out for a meal tonight,’ said Abby, pulling away. ‘On us. All of us and the kids.’
‘Yes!’ exclaimed Gabriel. ‘What a marvellous idea. And I know just the place. The man on the boat recommended somewhere. Somewhere with real Spanish food. Where the locals go. He said it has the best food in the region and the best wine, naturally.’
‘Oh, that sounds perfect,’ said Katy, laughing. ‘Wow, how exciting. Proper Spanish food, not pizza and chips. Do they do paella, do you think?’ she asked Gabriel. ‘I’ve been dying for a decent paella ever since we got here.’
‘They will cook whatever they think is best that day. But it will be absolutely delicious, I’m sure,’ replied Gabriel.
‘Has anyone seen Ollie?’ said Abby. ‘I need to find him and invite him. He should come with us. I feel so bad about what they did to him on the boat.’
‘I think he would love a civilised meal with us,’ said Katy. Then she suddenly had a thought as she recalled the night before. ‘Can I invite one more person?’ she said.
‘Who?’ asked Abby.
‘I’ll tell you later, but is that okay? I think they need a decent night out as well and… and I think they would enjoy our company.’
‘Invite who you like,’ said Braindead. ‘Let’s just enjoy ourselves, hey? I think it’s well overdue.’