Rearview Mirror

by B L Clark

  “I’m glad you’re starting to feel better.” Jill opened the water bottle and handed it back to Amber. She took her medicine, and Jill closed the bottle for her again.

  “So, what’s Erik’s concern?”

  “W-what? What makes you think Erik has concerns?” Jill looked around the room, avoiding Amber’s eyes.

  “I’m not stupid. I would actually be surprised if none of you had concerns.”

  “You would?”

  “Yeah. I know how protective you are of Nicole and everything she’s been through over the years. So, what are his concerns? Or what are yours? Or even Heather’s?”

  “You’re more direct now than you used to be.” Jill laughed. “The concerns are all the same. We don’t want to see Nicole get hurt when you go back to New York. We also don’t want you to drop out of our lives once you go back.”

  “Nicole and I have a lot to talk about. We need to discuss what’s going on between us, what we want for the future. Are we still compatible?”

  “Well…um…I’m guessing you’re still compatible if you’re sleeping together. By the way, did your doctor say that sort of activity was okay to do at this juncture?”

  “Yes, we still love each other. She is and always has been my everything…but we both have our own lives now, as well.”

  “So, have you thought about discussing this stuff with her?”

  “Yeah, we were out on the lanai earlier, and we decided that later today or tomorrow we’re going to have that heart-to-heart discussion. You know the one that says what we’ve been up to for the past ten years, where we want our life to go, where we want us to go or if there is even an us. Why are you looking at me like that?” Amber saw Jill’s wide-eyed look and gaping mouth.

  “You were out on the lanai? What the hell! None of us has ever seen that damn area, and you just get to waltz out there and see it? Nicole has some serious explaining to do,” Jill said.

  “Yes, I was out there, and anything further, you have to take up with Nicole.”

  “Fine. So, what are your feelings for her?”

  “You already know that. I’m in love with her and always have been.”

  “But what about the future?”

  “I can’t say until Nicole and I talk. That’s something we need to decide together,” Amber said.

  “Yeah, but you have to have something in mind for what direction you want things to go.”

  “I do, but until Nicole and I talk, I’m not saying anything.”

  “Well, poop. Fine. So, what’s it like living in New York?”

  “At first, it was scary, but I found this amazing brownstone after being in the city for a couple of years. It’s on this quiet tree-lined street, and there are only two units in the building. My landlords live below me. They’re this cute little old couple.”

  “That sounds nice. Are the places as small and expensive as they always say they are on TV?”

  “Most are, but again, I have these amazing landlords.”

  Nicole and Erik finished their talk and headed upstairs to check on Amber. Nicole knocked, and the two entered the room.

  “Hey, baby,” Nicole said as she went over and kissed Amber.

  “You all done with your talk?” Amber said.

  “Yeah,” Nicole said, smiling back at Amber.

  “So, what were you two gossiping about?” Erik asked.

  “Amber was telling me about New York,” Jill said.

  “So, did you two get your concerns all worked out?” Amber offered Erik and Nicole one of her lopsided smiles.

  “Jill! What the hell?” Erik exclaimed.

  “It wasn’t that big of a secret. I figured it out all by myself,” Amber said.

  “Yeah, we got them worked out. The big thing is that you and I need to sit down and discuss stuff.” Nicole took Amber’s good hand in her own.

  “I wanna know why Amber gets to see the lanai and the rest of us don’t,” Jill said, pouting.

  “Because it was created for her and me.” Nicole stuck her tongue out at her friends.

  “Fine, be that way then.” Jill pouted again.

  “We will.” Amber laughed as she tried to stifle a yawn.

  “All right, I think it’s time to go. Amber needs her rest,” Jill said.

  The group said their goodbyes, and Nicole escorted Jill and Erik out, giving them each a hug, then went back upstairs and found Amber fighting to stay awake.

  “Why are you fighting the meds?” Nicole curled up next to Amber.

  “Because we were going to talk…” Amber said, yawning again.

  “Sleep now. When you wake up, we’ll go out on the lanai, I’ll turn on the thunderstorm and waterfall, and we’ll talk.”

  “I love you, Nicole,” Amber said.

  “I love you, too.” Nicole leaned in and kissed Amber and then allowed her to curl up next to her as they both drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The Talk

  Amber woke up feeling the warmth of Nicole’s body next to her. By the even breathing, she could tell Nicole was still asleep. Amber eased out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. She was still a little groggy, but not so unstable that she would need to wake Nicole. Amber used her good arm to splash water on her face to try to fend off the residual affects from the medication.

  “Amber?” Nicole stretched out on the bed and found it empty.

  “I’m right here,” Amber opened the bathroom door, came back into the bedroom, and sat next to Nicole.

  “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah, I just wanted to splash some water on my face. The meds linger, and I don’t like how that feels.”

  “Are you hurting? Did you sleep well?”

  “I’m okay, I can tell it’s healing. I slept pretty well. I had this amazing snuggle buddy,” Amber said, offering a smile. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Yeah, I did.” Nicole took Amber’s hand in hers and played with her fingers. “Are you hungry?”

  “No, not really. I’m actually feeling a bit anxious about the talk we have coming up.”

  “Why are you anxious?”

  “I…I don’t know. I’m partially afraid that I’ll say something to hurt you, and that’s the last thing I want to do.”

  “I understand that. I have the same fear, but we need to talk. Right?”

  “Being an adult isn’t fun sometimes.” Amber laughed as she brought Nicole’s hand up to her mouth and kissed the back of it.

  “No, it isn’t. Let’s go get something to drink and then head out to the lanai.”

  Amber nodded in agreement. They made their way downstairs and eventually into the lanai.

  Jill and Erik went to visit Heather at the hotel after they left Nicole’s. They knew she would be waiting to hear how the talk went.

  “Hey, Squirt,” Jill said as they entered Heather’s office.

  “Hey.” Heather looked up from her computer. “How’d it go at Nicole’s?”

  “It went really well, actually.” Erik sat in the chair across from Heather.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah,” Erik said and then he and Jill filled Heather in on their respective talks with Nicole and Amber.

  “Did either offer any other information?”

  “Not a word,” Jill said.

  “Well, that isn’t helpful. When are they going to talk?”

  “Today, when we left, they were going to take a nap and then talk later.”

  “Sure, nap.” Heather laughed, making air quotes.

  “Actually, Amber took a pain pill, so I think they were legitimately going to nap,” Jill said.

  “So, when Amber gets the okay to go back, do you see this going well or not?” Heather asked.

  “I don’t know. Nic says they’re different people and adults, so she knows it’ll be hard, but they’re being open and honest,” Erik said.

  “I guess we’re just going to have to wait and see.”

  Nicole and Amber were finally situated
in the swing, and they were enjoying the sounds of the rain while they gathered their thoughts.

  “So, who’s going to go first?” Nicole said hesitantly.

  “I totally think you should.” Amber giggled.

  “Oh, really?” Nicole smiled.

  Amber captured Nicole’s lips in a heated kiss.

  “Please.” Amber kissed Nicole again.

  “Knight, are you bribing me with kisses?” Nicole said when they finally broke for air.

  “Is it working?”

  “Yes, damn it,” Nicole said as they both laughed. “Fine, I’ll go first.”

  “Thank you.”

  “So, Life since you left. It has been hard, stressful, lonely missing you. I guess I’ll start from the beginning. Erik called the day after you left. He told me your mom was hurt bad. I thought for certain you would either be at the hospital or show up there. Now I know and understand why you never did.”

  “You mean my mom never told you what happened? About my dad and Jeffrey beating me up that night? About her telling me to leave?”

  “No, she just said you left, but she never said why. There were times when she claimed she didn’t remember what happened to you or what caused you to leave.”

  “I don’t understand why she wouldn’t tell you that.”

  “Maybe she thought at that point if we knew we’d try to find you and bring you back. After your mom got out of the hospital, she moved in with me. I was renting this house at the time, and eventually, I bought it.”

  “How were you affording it? We were barely out of school,” Amber said.

  “Well, I had this big surprise planned for you before you left. I wanted to tell you that I had started my own company, and I was doing freelance software development and making pretty good money doing it. I’m actually still doing it. I got a few government contracts, so I can’t discuss most of what I do, but they pay well and allow me the opportunity to work when I choose and play around, as well. For fun, I created a couple of games for the Apple and Android platforms.”

  “That’s incredible, Nic. You always were so much smarter than the rest of us. For a long time, I wondered what it was you ever saw in me,” Amber said, not meeting Nicole’s eyes.

  “Hey, look at me.” Nicole lifted Amber’s chin until their gazes met. “I saw an amazingly smart woman who had the heart of an angel, the body of a goddess, and she didn’t care that I was a geek.”

  “You have to know that I was in love with you long before we got together,” Amber admitted, giving her a lopsided grin.

  “Good, because I was in love with you before we got together, as well,” Nicole said, laughing. “Shortly after your mom moved in, my parents were killed. It was a really hard time for me. Even though my parents were absent, they were still my parents. I hit a pretty low spot. I mean, my parents had just died, you were gone, and we had no clue where you were or if we’d ever see you again. Just as things started to settle down, Mrs. Woods got sick and died, then the stuff with your dad happened. Again, as things started to calm down, your mom got sick. It was sort of a waterfall of bad luck. Don’t get me wrong, there were good times in there, but the bad really seemed to overshadow the good.”

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I can’t believe I missed all that. Mrs. Woods was always so nice to me. Your parents, I really only met them a few times, even though we’ve been friends since we were five,” Amber said.

  “Nicole, I understand that you and Amber enjoy spending time together. I just don’t understand why that Jill Woods girl hangs around you two,” Sharon Brooks said.

  “Mom, we’ve known each other since we were five. It has always been Amber, Jill, Erik, and me as a group.”

  “That Harrison boy is trouble. He’s going to end up sleeping with one of you and ruining your lives,” Sharon said, shaking her head.

  “No, he isn’t. Jill doesn’t like him that way.”

  “Well, you had better not sleep with him. Wait until you find a guy that loves you.”

  “I’m already dating the someone who loves me and who I’m going to build a future with.”

  “What do you mean? Your father and I haven’t met anyone. You only talk about your little group.”

  “I’ve been dating Amber for a year now. I love her, and she loves me. Once we graduate, we’re going to get a place together.”

  “Over our dead body,” Sharon said before storming out.

  “I remember your mom and my mom having a heated argument about us moving in together after school,” Amber said, smiling.

  “Yeah, that wasn’t fun. Your mom had a good laugh when she moved in instead of you. She always teased me that I just wanted one of the hot Knight females to live with.” Nicole laughed.

  “What about your life over the past ten years? What did you do when you left? Why did you choose New York?” Nicole asked.

  “After I left here, as cliché as it sounds, I hopped on a train and just rode until I felt safe. Interestingly enough, New York City was where I felt safe.”

  “You rode until New York City and got off because you felt safe? Seriously?” Nicole laughed. “Baby, did you bump your head after the doctor looked at you?”

  “Yeah, I know. With all those people, I wasn’t going to stand out. I could hide in the shadows and be free of the fear.”

  “I don’t know how you could possibly think you were hiding in the shadows. You’re much too beautiful.” Nicole laughed before kissing the side of Amber’s head.

  “You, my love, are biased,” Amber said, giving Nicole a chaste kiss.

  “Yes, I am.” Nicole pulled Amber into a heated kiss. “Now continue.”

  “Mmm, can’t we just kiss instead? I love the feel of your lips on mine.”

  “Nope! Talk first, kissing later.”

  “Fine. After I got to New York, I found a place to stay and started to go to the galleries. There were never many people there, so while I healed, I didn’t have to deal with the looks or the questions that came with the injuries. That was when I met Zach and got the job as a replicator. I spent a lot of time with Zach and Travis until he passed away. Zach was devastated. I think we pretty much lived together from a month after we met until I found the brownstone I live in now two years later.”

  “Living in a brownstone sounds nice. What’s your place like?”

  “I’m really very lucky for the place I have. It’s the upper half of the house and it’s huge. There are three bedrooms, three baths, with roof access. It’s an amazing open layout. There’s a large bay window in the living room that overlooks the street. I like to sit at it and listen to the rain. Depending on the storm, if I open the windows on each side of the house, I can get something that sounds a lot like this.” Amber motioned around the lanai. “One of the rooms I converted into a studio to do my painting and film processing.”

  “You still process your own film?”

  “Yeah, I’m still that picky about my prints,” Amber said as they laughed together.

  “Um, as I recall, that wasn’t the only reason you processed the prints yourself.” This caused Amber to blush.

  “Aren’t you glad those aren’t the ones that Lucinda saw and wanted to show?” Amber watched Nicole’s eyes widen as she blushed.

  “So…um…do you have lots of friends in New York?”

  “Not really. I have Zach, Jessie, and a few others, but otherwise, I keep to myself.”

  “What do you do for fun?”

  “For a while, Zach, me, and a few others used to go out to the club to dance, but I just didn’t enjoy it as much. Without you there to dance with me…I didn’t want to dance with anyone else. You always filled my dance card.”

  “Erik and Jill did the same thing. They would drag me out or even set me up on dates, and ew, no thanks. Not that they chose bad people, it wasn’t you.”

  “I hate the idea of leaving you soon,” Amber blurted out and then averted her eyes.

  “What?” Nicole asked.

  “I hate
the idea of leaving you. I know you have your work and your life here, and I have my job and the art show going on in New York, but lying here in your arms feels incredible. It’s the closest to being home I’ve felt in ten years.”

  “I know, I feel it, too.” Nicole pulled Amber closer and kissed the top of her head. “I guess we keep avoiding the subject of the future, don’t we?”

  “Yep, I know I have to go back to the doctor in a couple of days. I’m scared to go.”

  “Why?”

  “Because then reality sets in, and I have to leave here…”

  “I don’t like reality!”

  “Nic, will you come to my show?”

  “Of course,” Nicole said.

  “I mean, not just to see it and be supportive. Will you be my official date for it?”

  “And how is that different from me coming to the show?”

  “Well, there’s a dinner the night before, a gallery walk-through, then you’d be my arm candy.” Amber laughed. “Mostly, though, you would have to stick with me instead of with Zach or if the others were to come. Plus, there’s an after party that I hear is pretty intense.”

  “Hmm, arm candy for a gorgeous woman or hanging with the people I’ve seen daily for years…that’s a hard choice, Ms. Knight.”

  “I’m serious. I’m scared that when I leave…that you and I are going to go back to being distant strangers. I woke up earlier because of it.”

  “That isn’t going to happen. I just got you back in my life, I’m not letting you go again.” Nicole squeezed her tight. “I love you too much to lose you.”

  “I…” Amber started to say when the emotions overwhelmed her, and she did the only thing she could think of. She rolled onto her back and pulled Nicole on top of her. “Make love to me, Nic. Make me feel the intensity of our love and our bond.”

  “My pleasure.” Nicole growled as her predatory instincts took over, and she lost herself in Amber.

  “So, how long do we give them before we start calling or stopping by?” Erik asked, his leg nervously bouncing.