Rearview Mirror

by B L Clark

  “We give them as much time as they need.” Jill glared at him.

  “Are they going to call us when they’re done talking?” Heather asked.

  “You’re as bad as Erik. We didn’t set up anything. I think we just have to patiently wait for them to contact us. This is a huge discussion for them. The outcome of this can change a lot for all of us, but we don’t have a say in it.”

  “Yeah, and they’re both very good at avoiding talking. Well, at least they were the last time they had to have a serious talk,” Erik said.

  “Oh, I remember that very well. You weren’t the one that walked in on them.” Jill blushed.

  “Huh?” Heather said.

  “Oh, Nicole and Amber were supposed to be discussing college and what they were going to do with their future. You know, get a place together? Move away? What they were going to be when they grew up.”

  “Okay.” Heather noticed that Erik’s eyes had glazed over.

  “Well, I knew they were supposed to be talking, but I still stopped by to see what they were up to. Mrs. Brooks let me in and told me they were upstairs. I figured it had to be safe to go up there, hell, Nicole’s parents were there. I was very wrong. I got up there, I knocked, and I heard something. I couldn’t make out what was said, so I stupidly opened the door and, well…I will just say they had a very spirited sex life.”

  “Really? Was it kinky?” Heather asked as a smile crept across her face.

  “Ugh, I say it again…you are as bad as Erik.” Jill hit her arm.

  “Ow, brute.” Heather rubbed the spot.

  “Wimp.” Jill laughed.

  “Do you think Nicole would move to New York if Amber asked her to?” Heather asked.

  “I don’t know. I hope they discuss that, as well,” Jill said before hitting Erik hard in the arm, causing him to jump and cry out.

  “Ow, brute,” Erik said, rubbing his arm.

  “You are both such wimps. Did you have a nice mental vacation?” Jill laughed.

  “Right up until the police brutality started.”

  Nicole and Amber had just finished their second round of lovemaking and were trying to catch their breath.

  “You know if you are this good at making love while injured, I’m going to be in real trouble when you have the use of both of your hands.” Nicole snuggled closer.

  “Mmm, I can’t wait.” Amber ran her hand down the front of Nicole’s body. “You are pretty darn good yourself. Have you been practicing?”

  “Only when I dream of you.” Nicole rolled on top of Amber and pressed their bodies together.

  “I like your dreams,” Amber said in a sultry tone.

  “You should, you star in them regularly,” Nicole said before Amber kissed her hard, causing them both to groan.

  “Hello, Zach,” Lucinda said as he entered her office.

  “Good morning, Lucinda.”

  “How’s Amber?”

  “The last I heard from her, she was doing better. She has a doctor’s appointment in a couple of days. I think that’s the one where they’ll give her the okay to fly.”

  “What happened down there?”

  “Amber will have to explain,” Zach said, smiling sympathetically. He knew he could explain it, but this wasn’t his story to tell.

  “She’s safe, though, right?”

  “Yes, she’s being very well cared for.” Zach smirked. “Here are the forms she had signed.”

  “Thank you. When you learn when she’ll be back, please let me know.”

  “I will. Have a good day.”

  Zach left the office and went to the studio to start work. He had never liked working in the studio without Amber being there. He hoped she would be back soon, but he was also concerned about what state she would be in mentally having to leave Nicole.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The Doctor

  Amber and Nicole made their way out of the lanai and into the kitchen to make something to eat after their extended lovemaking adventures. Amber looked through the cupboards and refrigerator and decided she would try to make dinner. She knew she was leaving soon and felt it was the least she could do. Nicole sat at the island and watched as Amber whipped up their dinner. Amber set plates and cutlery at the island.

  “How long should we make the gang wait to find out what we talked about?” Nicole took a bite of the pancake taco Amber had made for them. “Oh, my god, this is amazing.”

  “I’m glad you like it.” Amber smiled. “I always loved cooking for you. As for how long we make them wait, why don’t you invite them over for breakfast tomorrow and we’ll make some more breakfast tacos and we can talk things over?”

  “That sounds like a good idea, then the following day, you have to go see the doctor,” Nicole said sadly.

  “Hey, beautiful.” Amber lifted Nicole’s chin with a finger. “I’m sad about the idea of leaving you, but we agreed we’re still going to be a part of each other’s life. You’re going to be my smoking hot date to my art show. If you play your cards right, there may even be breakfast in bed.”

  “And a tour of your brownstone?”

  “I planned on you staying with me. I’m sorry if I didn’t make that clear to you, but when you’re in New York, I want you as close to me as possible.”

  “Oh,” Nicole said, embarrassed.

  “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

  “What if now that you’ve gotten us all back as friends and stuff…what if you start to get on with your life and find someone else? Not that I think I’m the perfect person, but I love you so much, and I just want you. I’ve always wanted just you. I can’t ask you to want me, and I can’t ask you to…I don’t know what I’m thinking. I’m mostly afraid of losing you again once you go back to New York.”

  “I love you. I know that making this work, and trust me I want us to work, will be difficult. I don’t know how we’re going to do it, but I’m not giving up hope or the idea of us. You’re the love of my life, and I think we’re the only two that can say that they met the love of their life at the age of five even if we didn’t know it then.”

  “You make it sound so romantic.” Nicole giggled.

  “It is, in our quirky way.” Amber leaned forward and kissed Nicole. “Why don’t you call the gang while I clean up and put the dishes in the dishwasher, then maybe we can cuddle and watch a movie or TV.”

  “I can clean up while I call them. We need to change your bandage, so why don’t you go get that together, and I’ll be up when I’m done.”

  “Okay,” Amber said.

  Amber kissed Nicole and then headed upstairs. She was feeling pretty sore after their amorous activities that afternoon, but she knew she couldn’t tell Nicole about it. Nicole would blame herself, and she couldn’t let the end of her time there be marred by negativity. It was going to be hard enough leaving in a few days, and Amber knew from how she was feeling that she was going to get the okay to go home. It was then that she realized that New York was home for her now. Even though the love of her life lived here and this was where Amber had spent the first part of her life. She had lived in fear and could never call this place home. Yes, a small-town girl in a big city, there was the fear and the unknown, but those were things that Amber could control and had overcome. She had made a life there, and she was excited to get back to it but more excited about showing it to Nicole when she came up for the show.

  After Amber left the room, Nicole gathered the dishes and rinsed them and loaded the dishwasher. She then grabbed her phone and called Jill. Nicole explained that they had talked and that they just wanted to spend a quiet night together, but she said she and Amber wanted the gang to come over around nine the next morning to discuss their decision.

  Jill tried to get additional information out of her, but Nicole knew if she gave in, she would never get off the phone. After hanging up with Jill, Nicole sat there for a minute thinking about Amber going back to New York. Nicole admitted to herself that yes, she would know where Am
ber was going and would get to see her off, but she was trying to convince herself that it was better than the way Amber had left before. Nicole knew she was going to see Amber again in less than two months, but she had grown used to sleeping next to her. Nicole shook her head to clear the thoughts. She couldn’t ruin the night and the remaining time that Amber had here with her fears and doubts. Nicole collected herself, called Erik and Heather, and then went upstairs to tend to Amber’s wound.

  Morning arrived, and Nicole and Amber showered together as had become their ritual. Once they were out and dressed, they moved to the kitchen. Nicole sat at the island helping Amber prep for breakfast and sipping her coffee. Amber had opted for orange juice instead of coffee. A knock on the door before the doorbell rang alerted them that their friends had arrived. Nicole told Amber to stay put and that she would get the door. Amber got her miniature assembly line set up for cooking and assembling the breakfast tacos.

  “Amber, goddess of food,” Erik said as he entered the kitchen followed by the three women.

  “G’morning, Erik.” Amber hugged him. “Did you bring your appetite?”

  “Does he ever leave home without it is a better question.” Heather walked over and hugged Amber.

  “Hi, Amber.” Jill hugged her before joining the others at the island.

  Nicole got everyone a cup of coffee and a glass of orange juice while Amber made the eggs, sausage, bacon, and pancakes. Once the cooking was done, Amber cautiously assembled the tacos. Pancakes as the shell, crumbled sausage for the meat, scrambled eggs for the lettuce, diced tomatoes and chilis for spice, then cheese, bacon, and syrup to top it off.

  “Baby, these are better than last night,” Nicole said with her mouth full.

  “Amber, will you marry me and be my live-in housewife?” Heather said.

  “Hey! Back off, Woods.” Nicole pointed a fork toward Heather.

  “Sorry, Heather, but…” Amber started.

  “You couldn’t handle her.” Nicole blushed, knowing that Heather was kidding but still feeling territorial.

  “Wow, Nicole. That’s quite a proclamation.” Jill laughed.

  “I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” Nicole said smugly.

  “All right, if you plan for me to ever cook for any of you, let’s get off the subject of my prowess in the bedroom.”

  “Baby, your prowess isn’t just in the bedroom,” Nicole whispered into Amber’s ear. The words mixed with Nicole’s warm breath on her ear caused Amber to blush and shiver with desire.

  “Subject change,” Erik called, feeling left out of the sexual banter.

  “So, what did you two discuss yesterday?” Jill tried to steer the conversation back to neutral ground.

  After refilling everyone’s drink of choice, Nicole and Amber explained how they had discussed what the past ten years had been like, and Amber invited everyone to come to the gallery showing. They all told her they would try, but sometimes, it was hard to get away. What Amber didn’t know was that Zach had already arranged for them to surprise her at the show.

  After their talk, they decided to go for a walk, and the group took a picnic lunch and went out to Old Miller’s Pond and spent the day reliving their childhood. Sitting by the tree, talking, laughing, Nicole and Amber kissing. All but Nicole and Amber went swimming. Amber still needed to protect her incision, and Nicole didn’t want her sitting out alone.

  “Sweetie, you can go swim with the others, I don’t mind watching. I can dip my feet in the water and still be nearby,” Amber said.

  “Why don’t we both go dip our feet in the water? I never had fun swimming without you anyway.”

  “You just liked me in my swimsuit.” Amber raised an eyebrow.

  “I’m not blind or an idiot. Hell yes, I loved you in your swimsuit.” Nicole leaned closer and kissed Amber on the cheek and then whispered in her ear, “I prefer you out of the swimsuit.”

  “Play your cards right, Brooks, and I’ll show you my birthday suit tonight,” Amber said before kissing Nicole passionately.

  “Damn, get a room, you two.” Heather laughed. “We’re in the water to cool down, not have you heat it up.”

  “I only have her lips for a bit longer, I’m going to kiss them as much as I damn well can,” Nicole said as she pulled back from the kiss.

  The group laughed. The sun was starting to set before they left the pond. They dropped Nicole and Amber off first and told them to call after Amber’s doctor’s appointment the next day. The two women agreed and went inside.

  “They’re both going to be devastated,” Jill said as they left Nicole’s house and headed home.

  “Yep,” Heather and Erik agreed.

  “Do you think they realize how devastated they’re going to be?” Heather asked.

  “Yep, and they’re fighting to hide it from each other.” Erik received shocked looks from the two women. “What? I can be observant and insightful. I’m just shallow because I’m a man? Pffft, whatever.”

  “I, er…” Jill stammered.

  “You’re the eyes of the group. You always have been,” Heather said as she wrapped an arm around Erik’s shoulder and sidearm-hugged him.

  “She’s right. You were the one that saw the whole Nicole-Amber romance before the rest of us,” Jill agreed.

  “Thank you.” Erik laughed as they headed to their homes.

  “Today was fun,” Amber said as soon as they got inside.

  “Yeah, it was a lot of fun having everyone together at the pond.” Nicole pulled Amber close.

  “Can we cuddle on the lanai again after we shower?” Amber asked.

  “Of course.” Nicole led them into the bathroom, and they showered and put on their pajamas.

  Once they were settled on the lanai listening to the sound of the thunderstorm, they became lost in their thoughts. It wasn’t until later that Nicole felt Amber shaking that she noticed something was wrong. Nicole had been so lost in her own head that she had no clue how long Amber had been crying or why.

  As they lay together, Amber started to cry, realizing how much she had missed everyone and what her family had truly cost her. There were so many years that were gone that they would never get back. She had missed out on their twenties together. When they were old and gray and discussing their life, they would have this gap. She hated her father and her brother for costing her that, for costing her the few remaining years with her mother and those years with Nicole. There was a full decade they weren’t getting back, ever.

  “Baby, why are you crying?” Nicole asked.

  “Loss” was all Amber could sputter out.

  “What do you mean loss?”

  “We lost so many years and so many people, not to mention the emotional and physical traumas. And it’s all because of my father and my brother. Two people who couldn’t give a rat’s-fucking-ass about if we were hurt or what we lost. How is it that people like that can be allowed to take so much and get away with it? What gave them the right?” Amber asked, anger in her voice now.

  “We gave them the right,” Nicole said, feeling Amber stiffen with her words.

  “What?” Amber was confused by Nicole’s statement.

  “We gave them the right when we didn’t stop them from hurting us, when we didn’t stop them from separating us. We’re the ones that made the choices and allowed them to control us. That doesn’t diminish what they did, but it’s the truth.”

  “You’re right, and it’s more that I gave them the right than anyone else. I was too scared to speak up, too scared to stand up to them, too weak. God, I don’t deserve anybody’s forgiveness or friendship.” Amber stood and walked to the edge of the lanai and looked out into the darkness.

  “Whoa, Amber.” Nicole quickly sat up and followed her. “You had been used by them from before you knew how to protect yourself or fight back. You didn’t know you had choices. We’re all at fault, but your brother and father are most at fault for orchestrating the circumstances that caused it all to happen. And they
are and will continue to pay. They also can’t hurt us anymore. Now come lay back down with me, my love.” Nicole led Amber back to the swing and lay her down again and cuddled with her.

  The couple drifted off to sleep in the swing, both holding on to the other tightly.

  Morning brought a heavy feeling in both women’s hearts. They were going to find out when Amber was going to be cleared to leave. Then they were going to have to admit completely and not just say the words that Amber would be leaving.

  Few words were said as they ate breakfast, got dressed, and prepared to go to the doctor. Jill, Heather, Erik, and Zach all tried calling the girls, but each received a text message back stating they would talk to them later, they needed time to process what today truly meant. Each person respected their wishes, but they knew there was no way the two women were going to be able to handle what the day meant.

  Nicole drove them to the hospital, and they walked hand in hand from the parking ramp to the clinic in the hospital. Amber looked around. It was only a week earlier that she was here and fighting for her life. For Nicole, this place had so many horrible memories and one good one. The one where Amber lived and she was able to keep her as a part of her life.

  “Amber Knight?” the nurse said.

  Amber nodded and started to get up when she saw the conflicting emotions playing across Nicole’s face.

  “Sweetie, please, come with me.” Amber offered her good hand. Nicole smiled and nodded, taking Amber’s hand and following behind her and the nurse into the exam room.

  After taking her vitals, the nurse left the room, and Nicole and Amber held hands but sat in somber silence.

  “I love you,” Nicole whispered without looking up.

  “I love you, too.” Amber softly squeezed Nicole’s hand.

  The doctor entered the room and understood what the nurse meant when she warned him that the moods were low.

  “Amber, Nicole, hello,” the doctor said.