Love Me

by Cristin Cooper

  “When is your next day off?”

  “Monday. Why?”

  “Perfect. I’ll clear my schedule. Plan to sleep over on Sunday.”

  18

  Like a kid on Christmas Eve. The excitement built to the point I couldn’t sleep. Time seemed to stand still, and it became difficult to concentrate on work. After catching myself spacing off for the third time today, I gave up and left work several hours early.

  After a really long dry spell, I was finally having sex…with Kevin. We had been dating for over a month. Before I married Craig, I would’ve slept with the guy by now. That probably said a lot about me, but I loved sex and refused to be ashamed of it.

  But no matter how much I loved sex, I never imagined how much I would enjoy the anticipation of being with him. I never experienced that before, at least not to this degree. The nights of kissing, touching and almosts became worth it. It made me crazy but in the best way possible.

  For the past three days, I prepared for this evening. Waxing, shaving, scrubbing, primping and shopping until I felt sexier than I had in ages. Who knew removing some hair would make me feel so sexy?

  “Turn around.” Tim made a circling motion with his hand as he looked at me from every angle.

  “What do you think?” My heart tried to jump out of my chest as I stared at myself in the full-length mirror. I wanted Kevin to remember tonight because I knew I would never forget it. I had never been with someone I wanted as much as him.

  “You are going to knock his socks off. You might want to eat something before you go.”

  “I told you, he’s making dinner.” I spun around, checking to see how I looked from behind. These stilettos made my ass look fantastic.

  Looking at Tim’s reflection in the mirror, I caught his mischievous grin. “Not after he sees you.”

  “Really?” I couldn’t remember the last time I needed this much reassuring, but I didn’t just want to look sexy, I wanted to blow his mind.

  Tim leaned back on the bed, bracing himself on his elbows looking relaxed while I decided what to pack in my overnight bag. “So what’s the plan?”

  “I don’t know what he’s planning, but I hope dinner, sexy times, more sexy times, and maybe sleeping. That’s as far as I got. He cleared his schedule for tomorrow, so I guess we’ll spend the day together.”

  Tim surprised me when he pushed off the bed and hugged me. “I’m happy for you, Kimmie. You deserve this.”

  “Really?” I still wasn’t sure I deserved a guy like him, but I wanted to.

  He cradled my face in his hands and looked me in the eyes. “Really.” It was a very Ryan thing of him to do, so I hugged him back. “Have fun tonight and call me tomorrow,” he demanded.

  “I will if I’m not too busy sexing my boyfriend. “

  “Wow.” Kevin took my overnight bag and set it on the floor next to the front door then pulled me against his body. Nothing on this planet could’ve erased the smile on my face.

  The lust in his eyes reflected mine.

  He looked incredible dressed in a button-up shirt and slacks. I found his bare feet strangely sexy. Even wearing a Kiss The Cook apron couldn’t take away the sexiest man title.

  I did what the apron said. I ran my hands up his chest and circled my arms around his neck and kissed him until we were breathless. “Kimberly, how hungry are you?” The sound of his husky voice made my stomach flutter.

  “Depends,” I panted as I ran my fingers through his hair.

  One arm tightened around my waist while his other hand skimmed up my back until he reached the back of my neck. “On?” he said against my lips.

  “If you’re talking about food or each other.”

  Before I knew what hit me, his mouth was on mine as he walked me backward towards the bedroom. He removed his hand from my waist to open the bedroom door just as the timer went off.

  Our breaths came out desperate and uneven as he leaned his forehead against mine. “Don’t move.”

  The moment he let go, I cursed the dinner and the timer for taking his attention away from me. He adjusted himself then walked to the kitchen to remove dinner from the oven and check to make sure everything had been turned off then untied his apron as he moved toward me like he wanted to eat me.

  My legs shook seeing the want and desire in his eyes. We weren’t even undressed, and I knew this was worth the wait. That he was worth the wait.

  I reached for him, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt as he wrapped his arms around me and unzipped my dress. When I reached the last button, I ran my hands back up his firm chest running my fingers through the light spattering of chest hair. I planted a kiss on his neck loving the feel of his skin on my lips.

  His fingers gripped the bottom of my dress and slowly slid it up. “Lift your arms.”

  I let go just long enough for him to pull my dress off all the way. I pushed off his shirt letting it drop next to my dress. I stood in front of him in my panties and bra and never felt so beautiful or desired. His moans as he ran his fingers up my body and over my lacy bra went straight between my thighs.

  I unbuckled his belt and pulled it off while he unzipped his slacks and let them pool at his ankles. His fingers laced with mine as he opened the bedroom door. My breath caught when I noticed the room glowing in candlelight. Rose petals adorned the bed and champagne chilled at the end of the bed.

  “You did this for me?”

  He shook his head. “For us. I told you, I wanted it to be romantic.” No man had ever put this much thought or effort into being with me. I hated crying, but I came dangerously close to losing it.

  Time disappeared as I found out what it felt like to be worshiped and adored. He took his time to caress and kiss every part of me. Every time I pushed for more, he slowed us down. For the first time in my almost thirty-seven years, I knew what making love meant.

  Afterward, he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight against his body. A few minutes later, my body shook from pent-up emotions. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I tried to tuck my head down so he wouldn’t see.

  Running a finger down my cheek and under my chin, he forced me to look at him. “What’s wrong?”

  My feelings got stuck in my throat, and it took a few minutes before I could even speak. “I feel so much.”

  He moved over me, bracing his body with his arms. “Good or bad?”

  “Good. Very good. Just overwhelming.”

  He didn’t make me explain; he just kissed me and ran his fingers over my body until I stopped crying.

  After exposing my vulnerable underbelly to Kevin, I expected to wake up embarrassed or at the very least raw and exposed, but instead, I knew I was safe in a way I had never been before. He didn’t get scared off by my tears or tell me to stop crying. He just let me be emotional and cry it out. For the first time in my life, I knew I wasn’t too much.

  Kevin’s grip on my hand tightened as we leisurely walked hand in hand. He had his medical journal and my design magazines tucked under his free arm as we made our way to The Coffee Pot for some morning caffeine.

  From showering together to deciding where to go for coffee felt like it had been something we had done a thousand times. It felt…right.

  Even though the day had begun to heat up, we both preferred to sit outside with our iced coffees. When neither of us could decide what pastries to get, Katie, Jason’s new barista, advised us to get multiple items to split. Kevin took her advice and bought one of each.

  As I flipped through the magazines not really paying attention, I stuffed my face. I couldn’t help but think about last night. When I looked up at Kevin and noticed the gleam in his eye, I knew he had been thinking about it too. He dropped his medical journal on the table and looked me in the eyes. “I’m ready to go whenever you are.”

  I laughed at how quickly he rid our empty cups. He was a man on a mission and who was I to get in his way?

  We tumbled into his apartment already kiss drunk. He didn’t have the door close
d before we were undressing each other. Last night we did slow and sensual, but this was nothing like last night.

  I fisted my hands in his T-shirt before pulling it off. He had my tank top off and bra undone before I had slipped out of my shoes. “Bed,” he said against my neck.

  “Too far,” I stated.

  We tumbled onto the couch, still pushing and pulling our clothes off. It didn’t take me long to find out he was just as good at fast and sexy as he was at slow and intimate. I couldn’t wait to find out what else he could do.

  19

  “Hello?” I mumbled into the phone still half asleep wondering who I would have to kill for calling so early.

  “Happy Birthday to you…” I pulled the phone away from my ear and smiled as the singing continued.

  “Who is it?” Kevin asked as he snuggled closer spooning me from behind.

  “Mmm.” I loved it when he held me while he slept. “It’s my sister and kids.”

  I waited until the song ended before placing the phone back to my ear. I loved that they remembered, but the timing sucked. I had planned to sleep in today.

  “Aww, I love you guys!”

  After Nate, Claire and Jakey took turns wishing me a happy birthday, Anna took me off speaker phone so we could talk without an audience. “Hey Sissypants, thanks for calling.”

  “I’m sorry if we woke you, but the morning is the only time everyone is home at the same time these days.”

  “It’s okay.” Kevin’s hold on me loosened as he fell back asleep, giving me the perfect opportunity to slide out of his arms and the bed. I wasn’t concerned about waking him, but since we began dating four months ago, I had made it a point to keep him and my family separate. Kevin and I were in a good place, and I wasn’t ready to bring my family into the mix.

  “How are you doing? We haven’t talked for a few weeks.” I closed the bedroom door before I answered.

  “I’m good. Work is always good. We’re preparing for a busy December, so this might be one of the last few days I have off until January.” I switched on the coffee maker that Kevin prepared the night before and leaned against the counter, settling in for some sister time.

  “You’re still going to Mom and Dad’s for Thanksgiving, right?” She didn’t attempt to hide the fear from her voice. Thanksgiving had always been a tough day for so many reasons, but a full day side by side with my mother challenged me, to say the least. It wasn’t just the inquisition that she put us through, but the under the table comments about what she didn’t like about our lives. I had to bring extra wine to help us get through it.

  “I’ll be there. Don’t worry.”

  “You better,” she warned.

  “So, tell me about you.” Considering my life consisted of work and Kevin and I didn’t want to talk about Kevin, I made sure to turn the questioning around. “How’s school?”

  “It’s good and as hard as I expected. I had to hire a tutor because,” she sighed, “Math” we said at the same time. “But he’s been helpful.”

  I filled my mug and carried it to the living room where I snuggled on a large stuffed chair that had replaced Craig’s recliner. I loved this chair.

  “Is he single?”

  “Don’t even go there…MOM.” She said mom as if it were a swear word. And in this case, it might have been.

  “Ouch. I need ice for that burn. That wasn’t very nice.”

  “Then you shouldn’t do mom things.”

  She had a point.

  “Fine. But you’re doing okay in math?”

  “I’m at least passing. It’s still just as hard today as it was a zillion years ago in high school, but my math professor is nice, so that helps.” Something in her voice changed at the mention of her teacher. She sounded…lighter. I froze in my chair, afraid if I moved she would somehow sense my awareness of the change.

  I waited and hoped she would hint at something, but she didn’t. Instead, she talked about running and how a friend told her she should do a marathon. The idea didn’t sound the least bit appealing, and I had a feeling we shared the same opinion, but I liked that she was doing something to take care of herself.

  “Oh my gosh! I can’t believe I forgot to tell you. My friend Kitty invited us over for dinner last weekend and Nate brought the girl he likes.”

  “Tell. Me. Everything.” My oldest nephew plus a girl? I needed this kind of gossip.

  “She isn’t anything like the last girl he dated.”

  “Thank goodness,” we said at the same time.

  “She’s smart, super sweet, cute and I think she likes him. Claire, of course, tortured her.”

  “Speaking of Claire, how is she?”

  The phone went silent then I heard her whisper, “You want a thirteen-year-old?”

  “That bad?”

  “I love her, Kimmie. I really do, but I also hate her. I’m a horrible mother.” I bit back a laugh. I knew she didn’t find it the least bit funny that her daughter acted just like her, but I did.

  “She’s a teen. You’re supposed to hate her,” I reasoned.

  “But I didn’t feel this way about Nate.”

  “Because Nate is like Ryan and Claire is like you.” I found a little bit of joy stating it, considering she called me ‘Mom.’

  “So annoying.”

  “Tell me about it. I had to live with you,” I teased.

  “I hate you.” It felt like ages since I joked with my sister, and when I heard the laugh in her voice I felt a wave of happiness hit me in the chest. I missed old Anna.

  “And love me. I know, I know.”

  “I do.” She sighed. “I’m sorry I have to cut this short, but I need to drop Jakey off at preschool and get to class.”

  “No worries, I have to get…” I caught myself before telling her I had to get Kevin up for work. That was close. “Uh…breakfast.”

  “I’ll talk to you later?”

  “Yeah, if not I’ll see you at Mom and Dad’s.” I laughed when she groaned.

  “Love you.”

  “Always,” I said before hanging up.

  Relaxing in my chair, I thought about Anna and the changes in her life. I had a feeling she was hiding something from me. Maybe hiding wasn’t the correct word, but I knew she didn’t tell me everything. Not that I would judge her, considering I did the same thing with Kevin, but I couldn’t help feel a deep sadness that before Ryan died, we wouldn’t have hidden anything from each other.

  If he were here, he would have at least known about Kevin, and because he would’ve known, Anna would have.

  I pushed off the chair with a resolve not to be sad today. Last year, I spent my birthday at a gay bar crying in my beer because all my dreams were slipping away. Not this birthday. I looked down the hall at my closed bedroom door and smiled.

  No, this birthday would be the best one yet. I had a hot sexy man in my bed and a few hours before he had to be at work. I think birthday sex was on the list of things he had planned for me today. We might as well get started.

  Music blared from the speakers as eighties videos played on the projection screens. With a couple of drinks in us, Tim and I danced and sang along with every song like we were preteens. Kevin had lost steam about an hour ago, and Tim’s date took off with another guy not much later. I don’t think it surprised Tim considering how his date had flirted with our cute waiter all throughout dinner. He had shrugged off getting ditched, but I knew better. I bought us some shots, and that seemed to cheer him up.

  Needing another drink, I pointed to our table and mimed taking a drink since he couldn’t hear me over the music. He waved me away and kept dancing.

  As I neared our table, Kevin stood and met me half way. He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “I love you,” he said loud enough for me to hear over the music.

  My jaw dropped, and I became acutely aware of all the noise making it much too loud for me to process what he just said.

  Did he just say what I think he said?

  No. Way.

&
nbsp; I had kept a nice buzz all evening, but maybe I was drunk. “Say again?” My voice trembled, and my heart raced fearing I didn’t hear him correctly and terrified that I did.

  He held me tight against his chest. I felt his heart race with mine. “I love you, Kimberly Franklin. I. Love. You.”

  He said I love you—to me?

  “You love me.” I blinked and stared at his smiling face.

  “I felt it for a while, but I didn’t want to scare you, so I didn’t say anything. Then I watched you dancing and singing off key, and I realized I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I’m sorry it wasn’t more romantic.”

  “You love me,” I repeated like a parrot.

  His shoulders bounced as he laughed at my response. “Come here.” He took my hand and walked us out into the lobby where we could hear each other better. He turned and faced me, standing close enough that my chest rubbed against his. “This can’t be a surprise?”

  I was speechless. I couldn’t stop staring at him as a wave of joy filled my chest. But he wasn’t done turning me into goo.

  “You are the most stubborn, desirable, aggravating, funny, charming, sweet woman I have ever met. I’m crazy over the moon for you.”

  My cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. “I don’t know what to say. Besides this is the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

  “You don’t have to say anything.” I wanted to tell him I felt the same way, but I held back. My whole life I had rushed, pushed and shoved my way through each romantic relationship and they never ended well. I didn’t want to do that with him.

  I placed my hands on his face and drew him in for a kiss. I wasn’t ready to say the words out loud, but I wanted to show him exactly how I felt.

  I love Kevin Masterson.

  20

  “Don’t leave me!” I held onto Anna as if my life depended on it. How could she leave me here––with her? What happened to the buddy system?