Confused? God this girls’ delusional.
“You can tell people whatever the fuck you want. I’ll just deny it.”
“Hmm, see that’s where you’re wrong. I don’t think you will.”
I can see the satisfaction on her face, which means she thinks she has something over me. I won’t react to whatever it is, like I’ve always been raised not to, as I need to stay a step ahead. Always. The Reed last name has to come good for something right…?
“Is that so?” I ask, folding my arms across my chest.
“You see, I know you stole new girls glasses off me to give them back to her considering she’s wearing them and all, and I also know that someone gave her a ride home last night. I also know that a little someone looked ready to kill when Lucy all but announced to the whole cafeteria that Tucker and new girl were missing together…. Which funnily enough, caused you to go missing too.”
I shrug. “Your point.”
“Oh, silly me, I didn’t tell you the best part. Since daddys’ venture with your father is soooo profitable for your family, he has done nothing but reassure me that I can go to him about anything to ensure my happiness with you. You see, I know I can’t make you faithful, I know how our fathers work in that way, but I’m still willing to be the happy doting wife you see. Your father respects that about me.”
“Respect? You think he respects you?” The disbelieving laugh escapes before I can stop it causing her eyes to narrow angrily.
“He does. He knows what this union would mean for us. For our future.”
I hated hearing Ambers voice on any normal day, but with talk of my father, I was more than ready to bail before I started breaking something.
“Get to the point Amber,” I snap.
“Your father said I could go to him about anything to ensure my happiness. And I’d just hate for something to be said about the scholarship students and how they are ruining our education here. I mean, where would someone like new girl even go? Or maybe her and Tucker can go to another school. Together. Where they belong…”
Fuck. Me. This girl was beyond a joke. If she thought she was going to get a reaction out of me she was dead wrong. I’ve played these games my whole life.
“And why should I care? You tell my father what you want.” I take a step away, just as she shouts, “If you really don’t care that she will end up back with an abusive parent. I swear the photos of what that man did to her really make you question how safe it would be for her back with him.”
Every nerve-ending in my entire body - turns to fucking stone.
“You’re lying.”
She smirks, “Am I?”
She’s lying. She has to be. But when I turn on the spot and see the smug look on Ambers face, I know she’s telling the truth. She’s gloating like she just won the major prize.
“I want to see proof.”
She rolls her eyes dramatically. “Ofcourse you do. I’ll show you, just to prove to you I’m telling the truth. But then, you and I are making this happen Paxton. It’s what everyone wants. Your father, my father, me…. We are meant to be together. You’ll see.”
I’m frozen to the spot when my own imagination runs wild with someone putting their hands on Hendrix. Someone hurting Hendrix. And I don’t like how that image makes me feel. I don’t even feel Amber come up to me and plant a kiss on my cheek, and I don’t notice that her friend Casey is standing to the side waiting for her. All I can see is that the girl I felt thawing my insides, was so dependent on this place for not only her future – but for her fucking safety too. And because of me – that could all be ripped away from her. She, could be ripped away from me too.
And I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I was not letting Hendrix leave here. That was for fucking certain. So I had to do whatever I could to ensure she was still safe here.
No matter the consequence.
Chapter Seventeen
Hendrix
I was wiping down the counter listening to Bella talk about some show she liked to watch, scanning my eyes around the half-empty diner. Compared to how busy we were last night, the place had been dead quiet tonight.
“It sure is slow tonight….” I mutter, leaning my chin on my hand against the counter top.
“Well yeah it always is when there’s a local game on. Your school is playing against the Raiders tonight. They aren’t that good and the game will be a walk in the park for your Academy team, but the entire town still packs the place like it’s a final.”
Thoughts of Paxton in my room earlier causes my hand to brush my lips again. I’d been kissed before sure, a few times in high school, but I never got close enough to people to feel the things that his kiss seemed to initiate inside me. And it was dangerous to get too involved with someone like him, as I’m sure his life was more than complicated. I’d barely scratched the surface and I already had whiplash.
“Oh, well is there something else I can do to keep busy?”
When Bella doesn’t respond, I look up at her, only to see her eyes widen in surprise.
“I was hoping I’d find you here.”
I turn, smiling to see Tucker standing shyly, his hands tucked into his low-slung jeans.
“Hey. Why aren’t you at the game?”
He scoffs. “I’ve seen enough football games to last a lifetime. Besides, Academy will kill the Raiders. I see enough ego everyday in that damn place to want to volunteer to see it tonight too.”
I laugh. Tucker did sometimes have an easy way about him. He didn’t hold himself together like he was afraid his secrets would just escape like someone else did.
“And, I was hoping maybe we could take that rain check and I could take you out.”
At the mention of him taking me out, I hesitated. I mean, I knew I didn’t like Tucker like that, and for some reason, after the kiss with Paxton earlier - it felt wrong. It was no secret that Paxton and Tucker didn’t like each other either, but I felt I needed to know why for some reason too.
“I don’t finish until ten.”
“You can clock off. It’s so quiet tonight so I’ll close up early.” I glance at George who has just strolled out from the kitchen, his plaid shirt folded up to his elbows.
“Are you sure sir?”
He waves me off. “Yes, go, go. It was merely another trial anyway and I’m happy to say you have a job. Come and see me tomorrow and I’ll give you your shifts for the next two weeks.”
I smiled. “Oh my god thank you. You won’t regret it I promise you.”
“So, it sounds like we need to celebrate then?” Tucker adds close to my ear.
I gulp, almost forgetting the awkwardness of Tuckers question. But I liked him as a friend, so as long as I reiterated that to him, this didn’t need to be uncomfortable.
“As long as this is just two friends celebrating one of their successes, then I’m happy to go out Tucker. We’re friends right?” I added softly, causing him to smile.
“Sure Hendrix. Whatever you want. Just two friends celebrating.”
The conversation came easy enough as we sped through the dim-lit streets of Armadore. I was far more relieved that any awkwardness between Tucker and I seem to vanish too. I was starting to like the dynamics of Lucys group and I didn’t need any unrequited feelings making things more complicated than they needed to be right now. I had way too much riding on this as it was, and I already had enough complications with Paxton right now running through my head to want to add anything else.
“So where did you say we were going again?”
“Well we’re celebrating aren’t we? So we’re going to the only decent bar in town.”
“Bar? You do realise we are both underage right?” I ask with both brows raised.
“Ahh, I’ll rephrase that. The only decent bar in town that doesn’t look at your fake id. Not amongst the crowd they draw tonight anyway.” He turns into a carpark and shoots me a wink over his shoulder.
“I wish you’d told me. I don’t have a fake id.
Actually, I don’t have any kind of id.” My fingers fidget in my lap, as the reasons why I didn’t bring any of that with me, had more to do with my past than my future.
He reached over and gave my exposed knee a gentle squeeze. “Don’t sweat it Hendrix. You’ll be with me, you’ll be fine.”
Despite Tuckers confidence and warm smile, I couldn’t hide the uneasiness that crept in. I didn’t understand why he made me feel so uncomfortable, when a more formidable beast seemed to make me feel safe. As we found a spot, his phone dinged, and he undid his seatbelt as he scrolled through the message.
“Fucking hell, he just loves to take what he wants doesn’t he?” he mutters snidely.
“Who does?” I turn over my shoulder just as Tucker flashes his phone at me. And there on Instagram is a picture of Paxton with Amber. Let me rephrase that, a picture of Paxton, with Amber draped over him, kissing him, right outside my dorm building. I can’t see his face, but the broad shoulders and dishevelled dark-blonde hair – is definitely said beast I was only just thinking about. My heart literally sinks when I think about what he was doing and where he was, mere moments before that photo was probably taken.
I don’t notice Tucker pocketing his phone, but when he reaches out to me and asks if I’m okay, I shake my head and offer a smile. I’m such a stupid, naive girl. I needed to use my brain more and forget this strange gut feeling I had that I could trust him. I was right the first time. I didn’t know him, and I was so out of my depth with these people I needed to remember my place here. This isn’t a fairytale. I step out of Tuckers jeep slowly, careful not to slip on the loose gravel when he meets me at the front of his car, placing his lower hand on my back to steady me.
“You okay?” he asks, as a couple of girls giggle loudly as they pass us. I couldn’t help but notice that their form-fitting dresses and six-inch heels were a far cry from my white pinafore and boots. At least I had a tight black tee underneath it, instead of my usual long-sleeve button-down. Whilst I didn’t own the kind of clothes they had on, at least for me, it could’ve been worse.
Tucker saw where my eyes were set, and after he glanced at the girls and then back to me, he looked ready to say something. But before he did, I threw my fake grin his way.
“And they’re wearing heels and still walk through here on steadier feet than I do.”
His hand pressed more firmly into my lower back. “Yeah, but where’s the fun in that…?” he said, tugging my body a little closer to his side before leading me toward the front door. Just like he said, the bouncers barely glanced at Tuckers id, and they didn’t even bother asking me for mine as we entered. And it’s not because I look old enough either, if anything, I scream minor. But when we step onto the main decked floor, it’s obvious that the only people that come here are minors like us. A quick scan of the packed dance floor and bar, to see that the only people who look over twenty-five were the security guys. Even the bartenders look barely old enough to be serving.
“I’ll get you a drink,” he shouts, so close to my ear that my braid sways like it’s in the wind. I didn’t reply, but let him tug me toward the bar as my eyes continue to scan my surroundings. The closer we got to the bar, it appeared it was at least a little quieter here, and to my surprise, we were lucky to find two empty stools at the counter as well.
“Two rum and cokes,” Tucker orders, sliding one over to me when the bartender passes them over. I held the glass in my hand, not risking leaving it on the counter with so many people around. I’ve seen enough teenage films to know this would be the type of situation where anyone could slip something in my drink. And despite the uncomfortable feeling sitting in my stomach being alone with Tucker, this wasn’t going to end up like an episode of One Tree Hill.
“So, what’s Lucy, Mercedes and Gabe up to tonight?” I ask, as Tucker moves his sight between the main door and me.
“Probably went to the game. It’s what everyone does around here.”
“Can you ask them to meet us here afterward?”
“Already done my lady,” he mocked, bowing slightly causing me to roll my eyes in jest. “So, I’ll raise the first toast, to Hendrix for totally kicking ass on her first day.”
“Technically this was my second day.”
“Okay, okay. Kicking ass on her second day and totally owning her...”
“If you say bar wench, or diner girl I’ll hurt you,” I smile as I elbow him playfully in the ribs. He leans closer, “I was going to say future.”
My heart stopped. It was something so random but it reminded me of the conversation I’d had with Paxton. About wanting to build my own life. My own future. I shook my head, hating that everything seemed to be reminding me of him.
“Well good. You’ve avoided the ass-kicking. I know I’m small, but I’m feisty.”
“Oh, I hope so,” he waggles his eyebrows playfully causing me to laugh.
It must have been an hour or so later, that I found myself laughing all that much more. Glancing at the bar I noticed I’d downed two of those drinks, and I rarely drank alcohol. Okay, I never drank alcohol. But to be honest, I was proud of myself. I felt like I was free for the first time in my entire life. For the first time I wasn’t looking over my shoulder every second, or wondering how bad the day was going to be. It was liberating. If only the rest of my friends would arrive soon so this didn’t feel so much like a date. Even a little bit tipsy, I didn’t want Tucker getting the wrong idea.
“What time did you say Lucy was coming?”
I’m sure those were the words I spoke out loud, but when Tucker grinned and tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear, I was concerned that maybe that’s not the words he heard. He leaned toward my ear. “Do you know how pretty you are?”
Okay, this was definitely not the answer to the question I asked. I suddenly seemed sober enough to pull back.
“Hey, friends remember. And friends don’t call each other pretty.”
“Sure, they do.”
“No Tucker, they don’t.”
He dropped his bottom lip playfully, and I shook my head, leaking a giggle as I did. He was a little more wasted than I thought he was.
“Hendrix!” Lucy shrieked, wrapping her arms around me.
“You guys made it!” I replied, glancing at her, Mercedes and Gabe.
“Duh, of course. Even if we weren’t here to celebrate your new job, the entire football crew come here anyway after our home games.”
Holy. Shit.
If the football crew came here, that meant that….
I didn’t have time to even think his name, because as the bar erupted in loud cheers, all they seemed to be chanting is one name. And it was the name of the one person who made my stomach clench. The name of the beast whose gaze alone shook my very soul.
Just like he was right now from where he just entered the bar.
Paxton.
Chapter Eighteen
Paxton
I was so off my game tonight. Like so off that Coach reamed my ass at least six times. I was slower, sloppier and my head just wasn’t in it, which was definitely not like me at all. I never thought I’d be thankful that my father never showed interest in my football, because tonight would’ve proved to him what he’s been saying all along.
That it’s a waste of time.
And it sure as hell wasn’t me out there tonight.
Gripping the ball in my hands after I’m freshly showered and dressed in the locker room, it suddenly feels less at home in my grasp like it has in the past. And that pisses me off. I punch the locker, the heavy ding that echoes through the room not merely as satisfying as I’d hoped it would be. Even the throb in my hand, doesn’t seem to dull the ache in my chest. I fall to the bench, tossing the ball across the room, and ignoring our Manager who yells obscenities at me as it sails past his face. Football used to be all I had, all that I understood and that understood me in return. But something changed tonight. It didn’t call to my hollow chest like it used to. And I know it had more
to do with a dark-haired beauty who I can still taste on my lips, and who also failed to turn up tonight, than it did with any of the other shitstorm brewing in my life.
“Pax you ready to hit it?” Banks questions, as he hooks his elbow around my neck.
I don’t answer, but bend and grab my bag and head outside.
I shouldn’t care about some scholarship girl, when everyone knows I could have any girl I wanted. Any of them would be more than willing participants to whatever desire I needed to quiet the raging storm that’s always brewing inside me. But the thing is I didn’t want just anyone anymore. I’d done more of that shit since Freshman year and now, it was just a countdown to my life being really over. I wanted more for myself than some time-fillers and wasted associations. I guess I wanted something real. Something that wasn’t forced or planned for me like my entire life always had been.
I wanted something that was mine. And on my terms.
And I wasn’t sure how she did it, but Hendrix had slipped into that barrier somehow, and now I had no idea whether I was going to push her out - or pull her in closer and never let her go.
Austin, and River are already at our cars, as Banks and I make our way over to them. They don’t comment on my shitty performance as they know if there’s something up I’ll talk to them. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t even know where to begin if I tried.
“Paxy! Babe wait up!” Amber calls, as she jogs to catch up with me. Her over-perfumed scent reaching my nose before she bundles right up against my side.
“What do you want Amber?” Austin snaps in my defence as we reach them.
“Don’t speak to me like that Austin. Paxy, tell him not to speak to me like that.”
I don’t answer her, but merely look as uninterested as I can at her instead which only irritates her further.
“Maybe if you told him about us, he wouldn’t speak to me that way,” she whines, causing my heart to stop.
She was not pulling this shit on me right now after the game I just played.
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