“The only thing you are to him Amber, is a parking garage,” Banks interrupts, cackling loudly.
“Really?” she asks, a cocky smile crossing her over-pouty lips. “Oh babe, can I get a ride to Drakes?”
Drakes was the bar we all partied at after the games, and despite me wanting to be as far away from her as possible – I didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of her talking this shit if I didn’t have to. I’d deal with that later. So, I just sighed, walking to Austins passenger door and in the process turning my back on her.
Austin didn’t say anything, or question me as he unlocked his car and got behind the wheel. I fell into the passenger seat, not bothering with the seatbelt and just letting everything run through my head about what I was going to do about this situation. I wasn’t in control right now. And everything, especially for these last two years, should have been in my fucking control. I heard Amber get in the back, and it wasn’t until we took off that I felt her hands wrap around my shoulders from behind me.
“You’ll see babe. We are going to be a happy family just like I planned. You’ll see.”
No, I won’t see. And that’s the fucking problem.
After removing Ambers hands, I had to put up with Austin side-eyeing me the whole damn way to the bar. I don’t usually drink that much during the season, despite the rest of the guys indulging in drugs and alcohol, but I knew tonight that something strong would be high on my agenda. I didn’t like touching the stuff after seeing what it did to my mother, after dear old dad basically poured the stuff down her throat and threw in some pills for added effect. It’s at a point now, that she needs it to numb any feelings she has regarding her whole fucked up life she has with him. It’s the only reason I stay tied to that fuck of a father, because I couldn’t bear to leave her with him on her own. Oh, how the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…
As soon as Austins car pulls up I’m out the door and in front of the bouncer before he’s even fully parked. I know Austin will grind me later for what the fucks going on, but I’m in no mood to share anything with him when all I feel is the walls caving in on me. I flash my id, not that they ever look at it anyway, and shove through the doors allowing the noise to assault my senses. But a mere second is all it takes for my eyes to find her like a bee to honey. Her heads tilted back, a relaxed laugh singing softly from her beautiful mouth. A mouth that I’d had today, and if I was being totally honest, would have again as soon as possible. I tug my bottom lip beneath my teeth just thinking about what I wanted to do to her as I took her in. The only time the burden of my night actually started to lighten at all was watching her like a god-damn stalker hidden in the shadows. But that didn’t last long either when the bar started a raucous once they noticed me.
“Pax-ton! Pax-ton! Pax-ton!”
As the crowd began chanting my name, those hazel eyes widened in utter shock as she turned and finally saw me. I barely heard the noise assaulting me, and I barely noticed the masses closing in. All my eyes saw - was her. And all my lungs did was finally take a breath that felt like it was the first one all night. My gaze then narrowed automatically, when I saw Tucker with his hand on her knee sitting far closer to her than he should be. She wasn’t his damn it! And just as my fists balled beside me, her gaze lowered and she looked away from me with more than disappointment flashing across her beautiful face.
What the fuck was that all about? Did she not remember the way she felt in my arms when I kissed her today?
“Babe, let’s go get a drink,” Amber whispers, kissing my cheek before I even knew she’d done it.
And just like that, I stalked toward the one thing that seemed to have my attention, disregarding everything that was at stake right now, because all I could focus on…
Was her.
Chapter Nineteen
Hendrix
I don’t know why I was shocked to see Amber come in with Paxton. I mean, I’ve even called her his girlfriend, and I can still see that image of her with her lips all over him. What I don’t expect though, is to feel dirty and ashamed. Mere hours’ ago those assaulting lips of his were all over mine, only to be over someone else shortly after. I can’t believe I thought maybe he felt something like I did. That there had somehow been this kind of connection there. It’s crazy. I shake my head, angry at myself for being so naïve. I’m not used to dealing with people like Paxton Reed, and I can’t believe I let him kiss me the way he did. That’s not who I am. And I need to make sure I don’t forget that. And beneath the anger at myself I feel utter disappointment too. Disappointed that I actually believed he was different. I thought I saw him. I thought I understood him somehow…
Turns out I didn’t understand anything.
“You okay Hendrix?” Tucker whispers, sliding another drink toward me, and because I don’t want to answer that question - I just take it. Guzzling some of it down in the very same movement. I stifle a cough, trying to ignore the burn, because anything to help dim the let-down now filling my chest was more than okay in my book.
“Hendrix.”
That voice. I can’t stop the chill that ripples across my skin, or my teeth that seem to find my lip and begin nibbling it. I have to stop being affected by this guy I obviously don’t know, so again, to block facing my reality, I take another unladylike gulp of my drink.
“It looks like you’ve had enough.”
He reaches for my glass, but the moment I feel his hand touch mine I shove away and my angry eyes find his.
“I’m fine,” I snap, his eyes narrowing furiously too. The tension radiating off him like a volcano about to erupt.
“What do you want Reed?” I hear Tucker grind, vaguely feeling his hand snake around my waist.
Paxtons eyes notice the movement too, and he looks two seconds away from completely combusting. I take another swig, coughing more loudly this time, before he snatches the glass from me before I have time to stop him.
“I said, you’ve had enough,” he snaps.
I shiver with the sound of his voice, but not in the way I had earlier. I couldn’t even bare looking at him right now and risk letting him get to me again. So, I moved my flushed face toward the floor like a coward instead. My default setting was still set to run sometimes. I was getting there, but I wasn’t perfect.
“And it’s your business because?” I mumble, my eyes moving between my docs and his white trainers. Everything was starting to blur now, but at least I couldn’t see those eyes of his boring into me.
It didn’t mean I didn’t feel them though.
“Hendrix, can we...?” he starts softly, but when I saw his feet take a mere step toward me, I shuffled backwards, overshooting my landing and falling right into Tuckers lap, whose arm instantly came around my hip to steady me.
“I think you can see Hendrix is more than okay,” Tucker states cockily, tugging me a little closer. Drinking or not, I didn’t feel comfortable being in his lap just to get a rise out of Paxton. But when I hear Ambers whiny voice approach us, I needed the shelter more than anything right now.
“Oh well, this looks cosy,” she quips snottily, a hint of annoyance behind the venom.
“Ugh Amber, what will it take for you to move away from us right now? Like literally the furthest away from us that you can in this place?” Lucy asks sighing heavily.
“Well, that all depends on where Paxy goes. Where he goes, I go.”
With my eyes still on the floor, I try desperately to focus on that and nothing else. I didn’t want to see them together, or her hands all over him. It only made me feel sick that he was all over me today too.
“You okay?” Tucker whispers, tugging me closer. I nodded, and this time, I didn’t care to stop him.
“Pax can you please just go back over there so this virus follows you. We were celebrating over here, and your presence is literally downing the vibe for our guest of honour.”
“Celebrate? Well what a coincidence. Isn’t that a coincidence babe?”
I still didn’t
glance up to look at Paxton but I could swear his eyes just narrowed like he was pushing words through his gaze alone. I don’t know how I knew that - but I just did. I always felt his attention, even when I didn’t go seeking it. Moments passed, the air palpable; an odd intensity that seemed to grow in the air and the low rumble I heard in his chest.
“Amber, please just leave,” Lucy snapped again breaking whatever strange awkwardness that was surrounding us, before adding, “Pax,” as a kind of plea. But I still couldn’t make myself glance up at him. I just couldn’t. I barely knew him, like I told him in his car the other night and I honestly had no idea who he was or what these people were capable of. But there was this strange pull I always felt when he was around that I didn’t trust myself with. When I dared a glance at his adidas-covered feet, I was both relieved and upset that they were retreating.
“But we should tell them about our news….” Ambers voice dwindled as she got further away from us. And as soon as I could feel he was no longer with us, I dared a glance in his direction. And sure enough, he was stomping away with Amber hot on his tail. His entire back was stiff and rigid, whilst Amber flapped about behind him. He was furious.
“God, I hate her. She is like some disease that just gets worse the longer you have to deal with it,” Mercedes swipes, before continuing on about tonights’ game and how she couldn’t be happier that Austin apparently took a hard hit that knocked him on his ass. But despite the conversation steering well away from him, my eyes were stuck on Paxtons back as he grabbed Austin by the shoulder and started rambling in his ear. I watched in a daze, as Austins’ eyes moved in our direction, before Paxton made a hasty exit out the front door where he only just entered through. My heart sank. And it wasn’t because he was leaving either. It was because of a certain someone’s wrist he had hold of, as he dragged Amber out the door with him. God I was such an idiot...
“What you drinking girl? I’ll get you a refill?” Gabe asked as I downed the rest of my drink, barely realising I’d done so.
“Let’s do shots! Afterall, we are celebrating our girls big score today. What do you say Hendrix? You in?” Lucy shrieked, questioning me pleadingly. I wasn’t sure why Lucy was looking at me like that, or how many shots Mercedes and Gabe starting line up at the bar. All I knew was that I wanted to get rid of this ill feeling that was settling itself in my gut. Operation celebration, just turned into operation forget the hell about Paxton Reed which made all the reasons I never drank seem tiny in comparison. Which was the only reason I nodded.
“I’m in!”
“Oh my god Hendrix, how are you so heavy? For a small girl you are like a deadweight,” Mercedes groaned.
“Shh. It’s after 3am, we need to be quiet,” Lucy whispered. I cracked open one eye, vaguely recognising the dorm floor in front of me, despite my feet almost floating across its dark-wood surface. It was like I was gliding or flying along the hall.
“Ouch!” Mercedes snapped. “Hendrix, watch where you’re flying those hands of yours.”
“Sorry!” I gasped, before laughter bubbled out of my throat out of nowhere. God I was wasted.
I felt the girls tugging me into Lucys room, before I basically fell onto her bed. I could hear them moving about the room, but seconds later everything went black.
I took a deep breath as I stirred, rolling onto my side and hanging my hands off the side of the bed. My hands knocked something over, that cluttered to the floor loudly, causing me to sit up all too quickly.
“Oh god!” I gasped, swaying slightly and touching my forehead with my hands. A quick scan of my surroundings saw me in Lucys’ bed, a metal bucket (which was now on its’ side at my feet), and a piece of paper that was folded on the dresser beside me with my name sprawled on top of it.
I opened it, taking another breath through my nose to steady the seediness that was lurking in my stomach, to see Lucys name at the bottom of the note. It read:
You know I love you, but I love not witnessing spewing more, so had to book it for an early class. I’ll see you in the cafeteria at lunch, Luce x
I couldn’t help the tiny smile that crossed my lips. She was fast becoming one of the only people I truly considered a friend, which says a lot when you come from a closed-off existence like I did. At the same time, images of last night started flicking through my mind. Mostly images of a certain someone with his piece-of-work girlfriend, and before I could stop it - the nausea came flooding back.
“Ughhhhh,” I groaned, falling back on the bed and covering my face with the pillow. With any luck I could just bury myself here and pretend like none of the last 24 hours even happened. But was I ever so lucky…?
“You know, you might want to ease your grip. Wouldn’t want you suffocating…” a deep voice started, before I let out a loud scream.
Jerking up, I turned to the opposite side of the room, surprised to see Paxton sitting on Lucys sofa, his hands steepled in front of his knees.
“You scared me. What the hell are you doing in here?” I asked, regaining a steadier breath; but my eyes were deceiving me again because all I saw was something like regret and concern in his expression. Which caused me to harden mine in return.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, in that hard tone that gave no room for argument.
“That’s none of your business. You can’t be in here.”
“I can pretty much be anywhere I want to new girl.” This was the cocky Paxton that called me new girl, like he kept falling into this façade every time he was hiding himself. And maybe a day ago I would’ve cared…. But not today.
“Unfortunately, I remember everything.” I was proud of the harder tone I spoke with and the narrowing of my gaze too, and for a second, his mask slipped again - but I didn’t stop. “And everywhere, doesn’t include my bestfriends room. Lucy wouldn’t like it, and neither do I.”
He smiled. “I’m pretty sure Lucy doesn’t tell me what to do and I know you like it.”
I shook my head. “Look, whatever this is, was, or whatever plan about tormenting the new girl you had – I’m done okay. I thought I saw another side to you, but I realise that was my mistake and this was some game to you that I was stupid enough to fall for. So, congratulations, you win okay. You can tell Amber that you guys won. Are we done now?”
I lowered my eyes, as I heard his slow precise steps approach me, until I saw his trainers beside the bed on the floor. His hand touched my chin as he began tilting my head upwards, but I shrugged away from him, and slid to the opposite side of the bed.
“Stop touching me,” I whisper, glancing up at him from my lashes.
His hand lowered, clenching beside him. “I can’t seem to help it.”
“Well try. I’m not yours, and besides, you already have someone you can touch. She has a name and it’s not Hendrix.”
His teeth grinded, as he seemed to mull over my words, and when he didn’t respond I added, “I’m asking you nicely, even though you don’t deserve it… Please leave.”
He took his bottom lip in his teeth, still not saying a word. I swear I could hear the loud thrum of my heart beating, just as much as my laboured breath. But after seeing his torn expression, it was his chest heaving up and down that was causing the noise, as well as mine.
“I just came to see if you were okay. You were drinking a lot last night, and I….” he didn’t take his gaze off me, but didn’t continue either.
“You what?”
“I wanted to make sure that you weren’t taken advantage of. I know Lucy said….” he trails, shaking his head moving those dark eyes all over me. “I had to check for myself.”
I scoffed, despite him looking almost shy admitting that, I didn’t care. I had enough issues going on that I couldn’t add his to the list as well.
“I knew exactly what I was doing last night. I’m not an innocent little girl who needs someone to protect them. I’ve been doing fine for 17 years okay.”
“I wanted to see you after yesterday… your room…” he f
umbled, before running his hands down his face like he was exhausted. Then added, “I needed to see you.”
I fought everything inside me that begged to crumble. That remember the feel of his lips on mine, his hands gripping my cheeks like I was something precious to him; because I also remembered the other image of him that wasn’t with me too.
“Yesterday was a mistake.”
He narrowed his eyes angrily. “No it wasn’t.”
“Really? It meant that much to you right?” I swiped sarcastically, noting the confusion on his face at my expression. “So much that you fell into someone elses lips straight after.”
“I don’t know what…” he started, but I threw the blanket off me and stood up beside the bed ignoring the slight sway I had on unsteady feet. At least thankful that he was on the opposite side. The distance made me feel stronger against him, as I lost myself when he was near.
“I saw the photos Paxton. With Amber outside my building yesterday.”
He huffed through his nose, shaking his head, “It wasn’t what it looked like.”
I shook my head. “You know what. I like to think I’m smart, but when I’m with you I am so dumb I don’t even recognise myself. I saw you Paxton.”
He took a step toward me, muttering, “She came at me, I didn’t touch her.”
I shrugged. “It’s all the same isn’t it? Besides, we aren’t together. You don’t owe me an explanation to who you… spend time with. But I’m not that girl. I won’t be.”
“Hendrix…” he started, but I raised my hand in front of me, my expression pleading with him to just stop.
“Like I said, I don’t need anyone to protect me. But the only protection I need right now, is from you. So please, just leave.”
He took a laboured breath, his thoughts racing. Before finally, he nodded slowly. So many expressions crossed his face from disappointment to then angry at my words. But moments later he wordlessly stalked to Lucys’ door, pausing for only a second, before walking straight out. And for the first time since he spoke to me, I heave out a heavy breath that I’d been unconsciously holding since I noticed him here. I didn’t understand what his problem was, or what game he was playing, but I had to stay away from him. My plan had to remain the same. I needed to ace my classes, earn that damn degree and build myself a life. A life I never had the chance for before, but was utterly desperate for.
Broken Wing (Arthur Academy Book 1) Page 13