The House

by Eugene Field

  IX

  NEIGHBOR MACLEOD'S THISTLE

  The incident of the tabby cat's appearance with six kittens may havebeen a portent either of good or of evil. As you know, I am not asuperstitious person. I smile at those whimsical fancies which figureso conspicuously in many people's lives, such as the howling of dogs,the flickering of a candle, the arrangement of the grounds in a cup,the cracking of a mirror, the sudden stopping of the clock, the crowingof hens, the chirping of crickets, the hooting of an owl, the fall of afamily portrait, the spilling of salt, a dream of the toothache, etc.,etc., etc. If this particular cat had been black instead of tabby Ishould have regarded her advent as a prognostic, for it is conceded byall scientists that there is a mysteriously subtle virtue in a blackcat.

  The fact, however, that she was tabby dispossessed her of all powereither for evil or for good, and I could not help regarding Uncle Siwith pity for the seeming veneration in which he held this harmless andinnocent beast. Still I determined to watch and note events with aview to confuting the superstition which foresaw good luck in thepresence of this cat and her offspring.

  While the work of rehabilitating the old house was at its height Ireceived a letter from my friend Byron Tinkle of Kansas City,congratulating me upon having secured so lovely a home after so manyyears of patient waiting. "And now," said he, "I am anxious to berepresented by some bit of furniture in your new place. It hasoccurred to me that a handsome library table might be acceptable, andit would certainly delight me to present you with an object which wouldserve to remind you of your old schoolmate, whose affection for you hasbeen abated neither by separation nor by the lapse of time."

  Mr. Tinkle then went on to say that he had hit upon a very appropriatedesign for a library table--a design full of historical andmythological allusion. Four figures of Atlas supporting the world wereto serve as the legs of this table, and around the sides of the topwere to be carved scenes illustrative of the progress of civilizationsince the building of Solomon's temple. Upon the four edges of the topwere to be inlaid mosaic portraits of the most famous scientists,including Aesculapius, Moses, Galileo, Darwin, Herschel, Mitchell,Huxley, Harvey, Jenner, etc., and the top itself was to represent acunningly devised map of the world, in which my native town ofBiddeford, Maine, was to appear as the central and most conspicuousfigure.

  I felt very grateful to my old friend Tinkle for his generosity, but Isaid nothing of it to Alice. Recalling the experience with ColonelMullaly's yellow lamp, I suspected that if Alice were to hear of thispromised addition to our furniture she would surely change the wholearchitectural scheme of our new home in order to adapt it to the newcentre table.

  Mr. Tinkle's princely offer was but the beginning of a series ofhandsome and useful gifts. It seemed as if our friends no sooner heardof our purchase of a home than they became possessed of a desire tocontribute toward embellishing that home. Another Kansas City friend,Colonel Gustave Gerton, late of the Bavarian Guards, telegraphed methat a dozen young apple trees, carefully picked from his NonpareilNursery, awaited my order. The Janowins, who have a prosperous farm inKentucky, duly apprised us that when we were ready to stock our placethey would send us a heifer and a litter of pigs. Cousin JabezFothergill forwarded to us all the way from Maine a box which was foundto contain a pint of Hubbard squash seeds, a dozen daffodil sprouts,and a goodly collection of catnip roots. Offers of dogs came fromnumerous quarters--dogs representing the mastiff, bloodhound,Newfoundland, beagle, setter, pointer, St. Bernard, terrier, bull,Spitz, dachshund, spaniel, colly, pug, and poodle families. Had wecontemplated a perennial bench show, instead of a quiet home, we couldhardly have been more favored. With a discretion begotten of twentyyears' experience as a husband, I referred all these proffers of caninegifts to Alice with power to act, and I dimly surmise thatconsideration of them has been postponed indefinitely.

  As soon as our neighbors realized what horticultural possibilities ournoble expanse of front yard offered they fairly overwhelmed us withfloral and arboreal gifts. During that unusually warm spell we hadabout two months ago there was scarcely an hour of the day that awheelbarrow or a man servant or both did not arrive bearing lilacsprouts from the Leets, or Japanese ivy slips from the Sissons, orpeonies from the old Doller homestead, or mignonette from Mrs. Roth, ordahlias from Mrs. Knox, or marigolds from the Baylors, or pansies fromthe Haynes, or tulip bulbs from Mrs. Redd, or something or another fromsomebody else.

  You can depend upon it that all this kept me wondrously busy. I brokefour trowels and raised a dozen ugly blisters on my right hand in myattempt to get these tender tokens of friendship transplanted beforethey withered. One day Mrs. Baylor and Mrs. Rush took me to aneighboring greenhouse with them; they wanted to purchase some vines totrain over their front porches. The man at the greenhouse showed me aninnumerable assortment of beautiful rose-bushes, which I bought in thefond delusion that they would vastly embellish our front lawn. Irecall the pride with which I told Alice and Adah that I guessed I hadpurchased enough flowers to fill the whole yard. I recall also thesense of humiliation I experienced when, after that innumerableassortment had been set out in the yard, I discovered that there wasnot enough of them to make an impression even upon the most susceptibleeye.

  I am not yet quite sure whether neighbor Macleod was in earnest orwhether he meant it in fun when he sent us a magnificent thistle, withthe suggestion that we plant it in our lawn. But, out of respect toneighbor Macleod's patriotism as a loyal son of Caledonia, I did plantthe thistle in amiable compliance with my friend's suggestion. Otherneighbors protested against this, but I imputed their objections tothat natural feeling of jealousy which is too likely to manifest itselfwhen the interests of other neighbors are involved. The thistle was anuncommonly large and active one, and I suffered somewhat from its teethbefore I finally got it comfortably located in a patch of succulentturf under one of our willow-trees.

  The unusually warm spell to which I have referred was followed (as youwill doubtless recollect), by a period of bitterly cold weather. Withan anguish which I am utterly incapable of describing, I saw mymarigolds and mignonette and roses and peonies and dahlias and pansiesand other leafy pets wither and droop and shrivel. In less thanforty-eight hours' time they were all apparently as dead as that sideof the moon which is invisible to us. The only flower or shrub in allthat once blooming lawn which remained unshorn of its beauty by thebitter hyperborean blasts was the Macleod thistle. Proudly it reareditself amid that desolation, and defiantly it exhibited its fangs tofoe and friend alike.

  I cannot tell you how heartily I rejoiced that I had not yielded to theimportunities of the Baylors, the Tiltmans, the Browes, and theDenslows when, in an ebullition of neighborly jealousy, they sought thedestruction of that sturdy plant. But my delight was of shortduration. One morning before I arrived to pursue my horticulturalavocation a remorseless policeman invaded the premises and pulled upthe bristling emblem of Scotia and cast it into the hard highway underthe pretext that by so doing he was complying with a provision of therevised statutes. I learned that this policeman is a Swede, and I canjustify his conduct only upon the hypothesis of heredity, although itis hard to conceive that the malignant feeling which existed centuriesago among the Norsemen who were wont to harry the Scottish coast shouldexhibit itself at this remote period in the demeanor of a naturalizedSwede who presumably does not know the difference between a viking anda meteorite.

  If I had been of a sarcastic or of a bitter nature, I might haveimputed this curious train of mishaps to the malign influence of thatmaternal tabby cat which Uncle Si had hailed as a harbinger of goodluck. As it was, I could not resist giving play to my desire forretaliation when Uncle Si confided to me one morning that someunscrupulous person or persons had invaded the premises the nightbefore and had carried off about six thousand feet of choice lumber. Iwas disposed to be very wroth at first, but when I gathered from UncleSi's remarks that the loss would fall upon him and not upon me my angerwas assuaged to a
degree that admitted of my suggesting to Uncle Sithat perhaps this incident might be reckoned as a part of that "goodluck" which the advent of the tabby cat and her kits had prognosticated.

  Having unbosomed myself of this perhaps too savage thrust, I gave UncleSi a cigar and in my most cordial tones bade him "never mind and be ofgood cheer." I make it a practice never to say or do that which islikely to occasion pain or humiliation without accompanying the word orthe deed with somewhat that shall serve as an antidote thereunto. ForI bear ill will to none, and it is constantly my endeavor to make lifepleasant and dear not only to myself but also to my fellow beings.

  My consideration for Uncle Si's feelings was almost immediatelyrewarded, for as I left Uncle Si smoking his cigar in a comforted moodI beheld my neighbor, Colonel Bobbett Doller, coming up the drivewayand beckoning to me. If you know the colonel as I do, you know him tobe a gentleman of wealth, of position, and of influence. Moreover,Colonel Doller is a man of large sympathies. He had heard of ourrecent acquisition and had come to congratulate me. We shook handswarmly.

  "You have here," said Colonel Doller, cordially, "a magnificentproperty, and I heartily rejoice to learn that you acquired it at amerely nominal price. Has it occurred to you, my dear sir, that thistract, with its majestic sweep of lawn and its picturesque glory ofshade trees, presents tremendous possibilities--in fact, secures to youthe opportunity of comprehending riches beyond the dreams of avarice?Let us be seated upon this pile of bricks while I unfold to you apanorama of potentialities."