Rock Chick Regret

by Kristen Ashley

  I stopped talking because Hector’s hands moved away from my hip and they closed around my waist, tight. So tight, his fingers were digging in and that got my attention.

  He’d straightened and those black eyes I told the tattoo artist about were intense, beyond intense, they were burning right into me.

  “How fucked up are you?” he asked.

  I thought this was a strange question so my head tilted to the side and I asked back, “What?”

  He let me go but only so he could pull off his t-shirt and he did this fast.

  At the sight of his chest, my breath left me in a whoosh.

  “How fucked up are you?” he repeated, unclipped his gun from his belt and threw it on the nightstand, all the while looking at me. “Sadie, fucked up. Shitfaced. Trashed. Loaded. Drunk. How fucked up are you?”

  I was still confused, watching him, feeling his heat, his intensity and something hungry about him. Seriously hungry. Therefore, I was watching him, confused, yet getting turned on at the same time.

  Way turned on.

  He leaned down and pulled off his boots, sending them, in turn, sailing across the room.

  Then he hands came back to me, his thumbs went into my underwear, hooking into the sides, then he shoved them down until they fell to my ankles.

  Oh my God.

  Did he just do that?

  “Sadie, answer me.”

  “Um, on a scale of one to ten?” I asked, unsure how to answer, unsure what to do, not even sure I still remembered how to breathe.

  He lifted me up, I let out a surprised gasp and my arms and legs wrapped around him.

  “What are you doing?” I cried.

  “You put my mark on you. To show my appreciation, I’m gonna fuck you until you scream my name and I wanna make sure you remember it. Now, how fuckin’ drunk are you?”

  My heart was beating wildly, my belly had melted to oblivion and I was pretty certain sure I’d had a mini-orgasm.

  What I wasn’t was drunk, not anymore.

  “I’m not drunk anymore.”

  “Good.” He put a knee to the bed but didn’t put me down. “Now, mamita, where the tat is, I can’t be on top so you got two choices, either you ride me or I get creative. Your choice but chose now.”

  I swallowed.

  “Hector –” I started.

  He cut me off, “Now.”

  Oh my.

  He meant business.

  And I liked his business.

  So, I whispered, “Creative.”

  He grinned, slow and sweet.

  Then he got creative.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ibuprofen and Midol

  Sadie

  “Preciosa, wake up.”

  My eyes opened and I saw Hector sitting on the side of the bed. He had on jeans and a tight-fitting, navy t-shirt and he looked awake and alert.

  I glanced at him through slitted eyes.

  He had worked last night, late, then he’d vigorously shown his appreciation for my tattoo just like he said he would.

  And, really, how bizarre was that? It was my tattoo but apparently Hector was more excited about it than I was, as in loads more in a macho-man, badass, fuck me until I screamed his name type of way, of course.

  Though, I didn’t scream his name when he made me come but I gasped it and I did this loud.

  Nevertheless, he hadn’t tied one on last night, mixing margaritas with Fat Tires and tequila shots. He was likely not hungover like I knew I was at that very moment. He was not having a life filled with daily multiple-traumas. And lastly, he didn’t have an opening at his gallery tomorrow night.

  So he could be awake and alert on a Sunday morning.

  I was hungover. I felt it in my stomach and my head, so I was going to sleep.

  To communicate all of that, I mumbled, “Sleep.” Then turned and burrowed into the pillows.

  Once I did this, the covers were pulled down and I made a peeved noise but he ignored this. His hands went to my waist, he twisted me, pulling me up and across his lap, settling me there and his arms came around me.

  I decided to ignore his latest smooth move and shoved my face in his neck, burrowing into his heat and hoping he’d get the message.

  “Sadie, look at me,” he murmured and the way he did made my heart squeeze painfully.

  I took a deep breath wondering what was happening now, pulled my face from his neck and looked at him.

  “Jimmy’s downstairs,” he told me.

  I let out the breath.

  That was it?

  Another visitor?

  Boy, Hector was a popular guy.

  “Jimmy?” I asked.

  “Detective Marker.”

  My body went tight.

  Hector’s hand went to my neck and slid up into my hair.

  “Harvey Balducci was murdered last night.”

  All of a sudden, I felt even sicker.

  “Oh my God,” I whispered.

  “Jimmy wants to talk to you.”

  That’s when I understood and I felt something lodge in my throat, so big, it threatened to choke me.

  “I didn’t do it,” I blurted and, as I was concentrating on swallowing, I didn’t notice Hector’s brows draw together.

  “Sadie –”

  I cut him off, beginning to feel panic slide through my system. “I didn’t do it. I swear. I didn’t.”

  The arm Hector had around me got tight and I watched his eyes start to narrow.

  “What the fuck?”

  I kept on, “I don’t like Harvey, he’s a jerk and I want him to stay away from me but I didn’t kill him, Hector, I swear.”

  I’d begun to tremble, my body shaking, Hector’s hand came out of my hair and locked around my waist. Then he gave me a gentle but firm shake. I stilled and looked at him. His eyes were now fully narrowed and he looked angry.

  “What the fuck are you talkin’ about?”

  “You said Detective Marker is here to talk to me –”

  “Jimmy’s here to make sure you hear it from someone who gives a shit. He’s here to make sure you’re okay. He’s here to let you know Ricky got bonded out this morning. And he’s here to ask you a few questions. He’s not here because you’re a suspect. Your phones are tapped, practically every move you make is followed by cameras and you’re never fuckin’ alone. Even without that, no one would think it was you. Jesus, Sadie, what’s in your fuckin’ head?”

  I felt fear replacing the panic in my system at the first part of his speech so I missed most of the other stuff he said.

  “Ricky was bonded out?” I breathed.

  I watched, fascinated, as the anger slid out of his eyes and a different kind of anger replaced it (don’t ask me how I knew this, I just knew) and then I saw a muscle leap in Hector’s cheek.

  “Yeah,” he said. “I guess Donny and Marty were moved to brotherly love once Harvey’d been poisoned while on the inside.”

  I closed my eyes.

  The doorbell rang.

  Hector muttered, “Fuck.”

  I opened my eyes again and he was looking at me.

  “Get dressed and come downstairs. We’ll talk later about what was in your fuckin’ head,” he finished.

  Great, just great.

  He stood up, taking me with him and putting me on my feet.

  I was realizing for the first time that I was naked as the day I was born when both of Hector’s hands came to my neck, fingers sliding up in my hair, thumbs on the undersides of my jaw and he tipped my head back to look at him.

  He touched his mouth to mine softly, eyes open the whole time and when his head moved back half an inch, he said, voice low and powerful, “He isn’t gonna fuckin’ touch you.”

  He watched me until I nodded, my head moving against his hands.

  Then he was gone.

  I pulled my head together, quickly got dressed (in the forbidden skirt but I shunned the Stella tee and put on Hector’s flannel because it covered more), ran to the bathroom and
let out a surprised, muted scream when I looked at myself in the mirror.

  Eighties Rock Video Bimbo was scary the night of but she was hair-raising (literally) the morning after.

  And Hector had seen me like that!

  And kissed me!

  Oh… my… God!

  I took a deep breath, calmed the mental flip out, washed my face, found Hector’s brush and was tearing it through my wild, bimbo-groupie, morning after hair when there came a knock at the door.

  Before I called, it opened and Hector came in. I just stared at him as he walked up to me, put a cup of steaming coffee on the side of the sink, turned to me, grabbed my wrist, opened my palm with his other hand and planted four white pills in it.

  “Hangover cocktail, ibuprofen and Midol. Don’t ask, it works. They give you salve for the tattoo?” he asked.

  I was staring at the pills but I looked up at him and nodded.

  “Douse it before you come down, you gotta keep it moist so it doesn’t fade.” He reached beyond me, opened the medicine cabinet, rooted through it and came out with a package of new tops for an electric toothbrush. He handed them to me without a word, touched my lips with his again and he was gone.

  I kept watching the door, not knowing what to feel.

  After my Mom left (or, I should say, was murdered), whenever I was sick, my father sent one of our maids to take care of me. They did it because it was their job not because they cared about me.

  But no one had brought me a hangover cocktail in my life.

  No one.

  Shakily, I sucked down the pills, pulled his electric toothbrush out of its charger, found his toothpaste and went to town on my teeth. Once done, I dug the tattoo balm out of my skirt pocket, pulled up my skirt and peeled back the bandage to salve the tattoo. While I was righting everything, I heard the doorbell ring again.

  I sighed, wondering what now, wiped the goo off my hands with a towel, grabbed my mug and walked downstairs.

  I stopped at the foot of the stairs.

  The living room was filled with people. Detective Marker was there and so were Jet and Eddie, Indy and Lee, Hank and Roxie and Daisy and Marcus.

  Someone had uncovered and moved a couch and a coffee table into the living room. There was a box of donuts opened on the table. Everyone had a mug of coffee, apparently courtesy of Jet who was holding the empty coffeepot and on her way back to the kitchen.

  “Mornin’ sugar, I brought hangover donuts,” Daisy called, waving a glazed in my direction.

  “How’s the tattoo?” Roxie asked, sitting by Daisy on the couch and leaning toward the donut box.

  I came unstuck and walked into the room.

  “It’s okay,” I answered Roxie as she pulled out a long, glazed cinnamon twist then I looked around. “What are you all doing here?”

  “Eddie heard the news. We had to come up to the Highlands anyway for La Reunión so I came with him,” Jet told me on a smile then lifted the pot. “I’ll make more coffee.” And she exited the room.

  “Lee heard too,” Indy said. “I came because you left your purse in the Explorer and because I’m nosy.” Then she scrunched her nose, took a bite of a powdered sugar, chocolate icing filled donut and grinned.

  “Hank heard too. I thought I’d come to introduce you to Shamus, our chocolate lab. He’s out in Hank’s SUV,” Roxie added.

  “Marcus heard too, I decided to bring the donuts,” Daisy finished.

  That was super sweet of her, of all of them, because I knew they weren’t there because of Family Meetings, returning my purse, being nosy, wanting to introduce me to family pets or bringing donuts. They were there for me.

  This felt nice. Super nice.

  Though, the very thought of donuts made me queasy.

  I looked at Roxie.

  “Why’s Shamus in the car? Why didn’t you bring him in?”

  “I didn’t know if you’d want me to but I can go get him now,” Roxie answered, her eyes lighting up.

  “That’d be great,” I smiled.

  Before Roxie could move, Detective Marker cleared his throat.

  “Maybe you can meet the dog in a minute, Sadie. If you don’t mind, we need to talk.”

  Oh darn.

  I minded.

  I minded loads.

  But my father taught me never to procrastinate. Get things done in a timely manner and do the tough jobs first to get them out of the way.

  I’d much rather meet Shamus but instead I blew out a sigh (even though it was rude) and said to Detective Marker, “All right.”

  I walked into the room and sat on the arm of the couch next to Indy.

  “Hector told you Harvey was found dead last night?” Detective Marker asked me.

  I nodded. “What happened?”

  “We don’t know, we’re investigating. It looks like poison,” Detective Marker answered.

  “How could someone poison him in jail?” I asked.

  “Don’t know that either, they’re lookin’ into it. You know Donny posted bond for Ricky?” Detective Marker carried on.

  Indy’s hand went to my knee, she squeezed there and then her hand went away.

  I took in a deep breath, weirdly fortified by Indy’s knee squeeze and nodded at Detective Marker.

  “You been in contact with your father recently?” Detective Marker asked.

  So, this was what this was all about.

  I looked around the room and noted everyone was watching me.

  The daughter of a killer, sitting in their midst.

  I felt bile fill my throat and I swallowed it down.

  I looked back at Detective Marker. “It can’t be him; he’s in prison.”

  “Have you talked to him? Does he know what the Baluccis’ve been doin’ to you?” Detective Marker pressed gently.

  “I got a call from him a few days ago. He didn’t mention it but I did,” I answered. “Not Harvey just Ricky and the rape. Still, I think he’s got a way of staying informed.”

  “He didn’t say anything about Harvey or Ricky?” Detective Marker pushed.

  I shook my head. “He was more concerned about why I haven’t been in touch, why I haven’t visited him. And he’d heard about Hector and me and he wasn’t happy.”

  Detective Marker nodded.

  “Do you think he did it?” I asked softly, trying not to think of everyone in the room and what they might be thinking of my father, of me, of what this all meant.

  “Lotta folks would do Ricky, he’s not got a lot of friends. Marty and Donny, I could see them being put on hit lists, they’re not friendly guys either. Harvey was just a dumb fuck, annoying and stupid, he rubbed people the wrong way but he wasn’t a threat to anyone. Makes the list of suspects shorter,” Detective Marker told me.

  “So, you think it’s my father,” I answered for him, my heart sinking.

  “No, we’re lookin’ into every possibility. Including Marty, Donny and Ricky. Their brother might not have been a threat to anyone else but he fucked up, forced your hand, put himself and Ricky behind bars. Him bein’ stupid meant he was a liability. This wasn’t the first time he fucked up, weakened the family position. Those boys’d eat their own young; I don’t put anything past them.”

  This was true, the Balducci brothers weren’t only insane. They were mean and insane. I knew that better than anyone.

  “I’m not sure I can help you, I’m trying not to have anything to do with my father,” I told Detective Marker.

  “I know that, Sadie, that’s why I’m gonna ask you to do somethin’ that might not be easy.”

  Blooming heck.

  He was going to ask me to do something not easy.

  My whole life was something “not easy”.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Eddie tells me one of your father’s boys tried to pass you a message last night. I know you two are estranged. Still, he’s your father so I understand this might be tough for you but, if he contacts you, however he does it, I’m askin’ you to let me know he�
�s done it and what he said.”

  Oh.

  Was that it?

  “Certainly,” I replied immediately.

  Detective Marker blinked and I felt a strangeness fill the air in the room.

  “Sadie, I know this is hard –” Detective Marker went on.

  “It’s not hard,” I answered easily then I offered, “I try not to take his calls. Do you want me to take them and get him to talk?”

  Detective Marker blinked again then his head turned and he looked at Hector.

  I followed his gaze and saw the Hot Bunch settled around the armchair. Hank was sitting on the arm of the chair, Lee opposite him, standing, arms crossed on his chest.

  They looked almost like twins except Lee had chocolate brown eyes and Hank’s were the color of whisky.

  Hector stood by Hank, hands on his hips, Eddie at his side, arms like Lee’s.

  They almost looked like twins too except Eddie’s hair was only maybe one week past needing a cut and Hector’s was at least two (probably three).

  They were all looking at me but Hector was watching me with that warm intensity, this time mingled with what I could swear was approval and I felt that weird happy glow start to light in my chest.

  “You willin’ to do that?” Detective Marker asked me and my mind moved off the happy glow and my eyes moved back to him.

  I shrugged. “Sure. I might need some coaching or a script or something so he won’t cotton on but I could do it.”

  Something flashed across Detective Marker’s face before it went soft. “You been through a lot, Sadie, this would be –”

  I cut him off, “This would be nothing, Detective Marker. I’ve been playing a game all my life around my father. This is just a new game and I simply need someone to explain the rules. Give me some coaching, my phones are already tapped so it’s all good.”