Rock Chick Regret

by Kristen Ashley

  Detective Marker kept staring at me then he said, “Sadie, if it’s your father exacting vengeance for what they did to you that means Ricky is probably next.”

  “And?” I asked.

  Detective Marker didn’t answer.

  “You think I’d rather not stand in his way if he’s going to whack Ricky,” I answered for him (again).

  “I’m just –” Detective Marker started but I interrupted him as my back went straight.

  “My father taught me a great deal, Detective Marker. He’d had a hard knock life and he was generous with those life lessons. He’s a criminal and he did bad things but his lessons were good. He didn’t hide who he was from me but part of his teaching didn’t include how to be a killer, either be one or be an accessory to one. If he killed Harvey and plans on killing Ricky, those sins are going to be on his soul, not mine. So if you’re asking me if I’d impede, even if that impeding meant standing aside and doing nothing, the investigation into the murder of the man who assaulted me or the planned murder of the man who raped me, the answer is no.” After delivering my speech, I stood, back ramrod straight and finished, “Can I meet Roxie’s dog now?”

  Detective Marker’s lips twitched (now, what did he find amusing? really, I didn’t get it) and he said, “Yeah, Sadie, we’re done.”

  “Good,” I replied shortly, leaned down and picked out a chocolate-covered yeast. “C’mon Roxie, I want to meet Shamus,” I called, swept the room with a glance noticing that the entirety of the Hot Bunch had the lip twitch going on, except Hector, who was grinning straight out. Seriously, what, exactly, was so fucking funny?

  I decided I didn’t care, I ignored them and sashayed out of the house in my indecently short bimbo skirt that Hector made me promise never to wear again (ha! take that!), bare feet (thank goodness it was warm, even for early Autumn) and Hector’s huge flannel.

  It wasn’t until Daisy and Indy joined us, Jet had come out with the fresh pot to give us all a warm up and Roxie was holding my coffee and donut while I threw a Frisbee for the adorable, cuddly, soft, seriously-over-happy Shamus that I realized that I’d spent the entire morning as me.

  No Ice Princess, no Attitude Sadie, no Take Charge Sadie and no Pretend Sadie.

  Just me.

  And I didn’t know what to think of that.

  But I did know it brought the weird, happy glow back.

  And, incidentally, Hector was not wrong about the ibuprofen and Midol, it worked like a charm.

  * * * * *

  The Best Day of Sadie Marie Townsend’s Life

  Except for the morning, that Sunday was the best day of my life.

  Better than any of the days when my father was away “on business” and I could pretend I was free.

  Better, even, than any of the waning memories of being with my Mom.

  Simply the best.

  * * * * *

  At first, I thought it was going to go from bad to worse.

  Because, after the men held a meeting inside while the women drank coffee, played with Shamus and picked over Hector’s response to my tattoo (at length and in some detail) outside, Detective Marker left. So did Indy, Lee, Roxie, Hank and Shamus.

  Eddie, Jet, Daisy and Marcus stayed but only so Hector, Marcus and Eddie could go over what they wanted me to try to get my father to talk about and how I should do that.

  Once they were through, I smiled and said, “Easy.”

  Eddie and Marcus looked at each other, not in a friendly way though, they didn’t appear to like each other much but instead they seemed to be putting up with each other for the sake of whatever was happening (now) with my father.

  Hector kept looking at me. “Not easy, Sadie. You’re gonna have to stay sharp and on target and listen to any cues he gives you that he knows what you’re up to.”

  “No problem,” I responded.

  Hector bit his lip and shook his head then he said softly, “Mamita, I know you been playin’ your father your whole life but when you were, you weren’t sleepin’ with the guy who put him in prison. He doesn’t trust you now. You’re safe, no one can get to you, but you want to get anything out of him, you gotta be smart, not cocky.”

  Someone, please tell me Hector didn’t just call me cocky!

  “I’m not being cocky!” I snapped.

  “You’re bein’ cocky,” he returned.

  I gave him a glare. “Trust me, Hector, I know what I’m doing.”

  “Just listen to what I’m sayin’ to you,” Hector returned calmly.

  I kept glaring.

  He kept watching me.

  We went into a stare down.

  I became aware of the other people in the room and I thought it was probably rude to continue a stare down so I gave in.

  But I didn’t like it.

  “Oh, all right.”

  His mouth moved like he was fighting a smile.

  I looked at Daisy and rolled my eyes.

  She let out a Christmas bells giggle.

  Then Jet said something that threw me.

  “We better go. I promised Blanca I’d help her get ready for La Reunión.” She looked at Eddie. “Are we all going together?”

  Even though Jet asked Eddie, Hector answered, “Sadie’s gotta change.”

  My heart leapt into my throat.

  “Change for what?” I asked.

  Hector’s eyes came to me. “La Reunión.”

  I blinked, thinking I knew what he was talking about but hoping I did not.

  “Why do I have to change?”

  “Mamita, you aren’t wearin’ that fuckin’ skirt out of the house unless it’s to walk out to the Bronco and walk into the brownstone to get changed before goin’ to Mamá’s.”

  My heart in my throat grew to about ten times its size.

  “I’m not going to your mother’s,” I whispered.

  “You are.”

  My eyes went wide.

  “I’m not. It’s a Family Meeting, I’m not family.”

  The air in the room went electric, Hector’s eyes grew dark and his body went tense.

  Sensing the change, Eddie, Jet, Daisy and Marcus cautiously moved away.

  “You shittin’ me?” Hector asked, oblivious to our audience.

  Now, I was confused.

  “No,” I answered honestly.

  “Mujer, your mark is on my back, my mark is on your hip and you’re sayin’ you aren’t family?”

  Oh my.

  Mr. Mood Swing looked angry.

  And I didn’t know what mujer meant but it didn’t sound as good as, say, preciosa or mi cielo.

  “Um…” I replied because I didn’t know what else to say, the Scorching Hector Glare was burning straight into my brain making my mind go blank.

  Hector’s eyes sliced to Eddie.

  “We’ll be there after Sadie changes.”

  Eddie (wisely, in my personal opinion) silently nodded and everyone prepared to leave.

  I took Daisy and Jet aside on Hector’s front porch and I whispered to Jet, “What does mujer mean?”

  Jet bit her lip before saying, “It means ‘woman’ and it usually isn’t bad but I think Hector’s kind of mad.”

  Kind of?

  She’d obviously not been seared by The Scorch.

  I looked at Eddie, Marcus and Hector who were all standing by Eddie’s shiny, red Dodge Ram and talking.

  “Does he think I’m family?” I breathed.

  “Oh Sadie, Blanca calls you mi hija and Hector’s a Chavez through and through. They work fast. Even if Hector decided to give you a break and let you out of La Reunión, Blanca would hunt you down, no doubt about it.”

  I stared at her.

  How did this happen?

  “This must be what he meant by not fucking around anymore,” I told them.

  “What does that mean?” Daisy asked and, still reeling from all that was happening, I shared Hector and my conversation from the morning before or Hector’s conversation, since I wasn’t allowed to talk (
I told them that too).

  Daisy and Jet grinned at each other, not like something was funny but like something made them really, really happy.

  Then Daisy said, “Sugar, count your lucky stars he gave you a week of fuckin’ around. Now that he’s serious, you’re his. No ifs, ands or buts, just plain ole his. Comprende?”

  “But –” I started.

  “I say this to all the girls even though they never listen but I’ll say it again, don’t fight it,” Jet cut in.

  “But –” I tried again.

  Daisy giggled at Jet. “Now we get to the fun stuff.”

  Fun?

  Were they plum crazy?

  This was not fun!

  Before I could say more, they hugged me and left.

  Leaving me alone with Angry Hector.

  Blooming heck.

  His long strides took him from the sidewalk to me in no time at all. He grabbed my hand and dragged me into the house.

  “Choose now, we shower here or we shower at your place,” he said, not breaking stride as he pulled me up the stairs.

  We shower?

  We?

  “Hector –”

  He turned unexpectedly and tugged me into the bathroom.

  “We shower here. Ralphie and Buddy might be at your place, here, you can make all the noise you want.”

  Noise?

  I was going to make noise?

  Why would I…?

  Then it came to me.

  Oh no.

  “Hector –”

  His hands went to the hem of the flannel, up and then it was gone.

  “Hector!” I snapped.

  His blazing eyes locked on mine. “Mamita, we don’t have a lot of time, don’t piss me off. Pissin’ me off is gonna take time.”

  My mouth dropped open.

  Then I snapped it shut.

  “Don’t… don’t…” I stuttered then demanded to know, “Why are you angry?”

  He put his hands to both sides of my neck, pulled me close and tilted his head down to look at me.

  “I don’t know,” he replied sharply. “Maybe it’s because your first thought this morning was that anyone would think you were a murderer, even me. Fuck, you sat in my fuckin’ lap and swore to me you didn’t do it like I would think for one fuckin’ second that you would.”

  “But –” I tried to cut in but he kept talking.

  “Or maybe it’s because no matter what I do and what you do, you aren’t fuckin’ cluin’ into what’s happenin’ here.”

  “And what, exactly, is happening here?” I shot back.

  His eyes got dark (or, I should say, darker) and he said quietly, “Now you’re pissin’ me off.”

  I threw my hands out to the sides, exasperated. “Why?”

  His eyes narrowed. “Are you payin’ attention at all?”

  “Yes!” I snapped, totally over it and then I went straight into a rant. “But I don’t get it. Excuse me, Hector Chavez, but you saw how I grew up, you know! I’ve never been to a Family Meeting! I’ve never put on lip gloss in the restroom of a club with my girlfriends! I’ve never sat around a dinner table looking through photos and reminiscing! All this is happening while the Balducci brothers are assaulting and threatening me, my father is freaking me out and I’m having conversations with police detectives. Not to mention, you’ve decided not to ‘fuck around anymore’, whatever that means, and I have an opening tomorrow! So, if I’m a little slow, you’ll have to cut me some fucking slack, all right?”

  Somewhere during my rant, Mr. Mood Swing decided he wasn’t angry anymore (really! how was I supposed to keep up with this guy?) and his face went soft, his eyes went so warm they were hot and his fingers drifted up into my hair.

  As his head descended, he murmured, “All right, mi corazón, I’ll cut you some slack”

  “Well, thank you,” I said, sounding snippy which was hard when his mouth had settled on mine.

  “Now I’m gonna do you in the shower then we’ll get you home, you can get changed, get your stuff because you’re spendin’ the night tonight and we’ll go to La Reunión.”

  My heart flipped, my belly melted and my irritation disappeared.

  “Do me in the shower?” I breathed.

  His tongue traced my bottom lip and that felt so nice, my knees buckled right out from under me, so badly I had to grab on to the material of his tee at his waist to stay standing.

  His eyes were open and looking into mine.

  “Yeah,” he said against my mouth.

  “I think I’m not over my rant.”

  His hands left my hair, he pulled my skirt up around my waist, his thumbs hooked into my panties and I gasped against his mouth as he pulled them down.

  “You can yell at me while I’m fuckin’ you.”

  Oh my.

  That was it, I wished I could say I was stronger, held out a little longer but I melted.

  And, incidentally, we showered, he did me in the shower, my back against the tiled wall, my legs wrapped around his waist, my hands everywhere they could touch and I didn’t yell at him while he was doing it.

  * * * * *

  The rest of the day weirded me out, so much, I couldn’t handle it so I decided to ride with it and memorize every last second so I could carry it with me forever.

  We went to the brownstone and I did my business (with the addition of Buddy begging Hector and me to take YoYo, even if she was spending the night at Hector’s because, he explained, Ralphie was becoming so attached to the dog, Buddy feared there would be a dognapping).

  We loaded up my stuff (Hector told me to “pack heavy” which meant more than a night’s worth and, after my rant, I didn’t have it in me to put up a fight so I did as he ordered), YoYo, YoYo’s doggie paraphernalia (under Ralphie’s maniacal dognapper-in-the-making glare) and we headed off to Blanca’s.

  Jet and Eddie were getting married imminently and Jet was barely holding onto her dream vision of a wedding. She’d given into the whole Catholic Mass thing (for Blanca) but for a reception, she’d hired a barn somewhere in the mountains, replete with a hog roast, hayrides, a bonfire and s’mores at the end.

  Bizarrely, at the same time, Blanca and Nancy had rented the local hall, Blanca’s cousins were catering and Nancy’s neighbor was going to croon lounge music during a sit down, four course meal.

  And, apparently, Blanca and Nancy’s vision included loads of lavender bunting.

  After a gut-busting lunch, Nancy and Blanca ganged up on Jet.

  I sat with YoYo in my lap and noticed right away that Jet was going down.

  First off, Eddie was removed, entirely. In fact, he looked like he thought the whole thing was funny and didn’t even flinch when Jet glared daggers at him. Hector and Carlos stayed silent but they also appeared to find the whole thing amusing. Gloria, Rosa and Elena were also silent. I could tell they were commiserating with Jet but they didn’t have the guts to jump in. Carlos’s girlfriend Maria sat silent too but she looked scared out of her mind (probably exactly what I looked like). Tex, on the other hand, was busily eating through the leftovers on the platters of food on Blanca’s table and it appeared he didn’t even know the meeting was happening at all.

  So it became apparent that it was going to have to be me.

  I thought about how to do this without Blanca’s house exploding under the force of a Full Blown Blanca (and Nancy) Hissy Fit.

  Then I came up with a plan.

  “I’ve never had roasted hog,” I announced during a lull in Jet’s browbeating.

  Everyone’s (surprised) eyes came to me.

  Even though they were scaring me (particularly Blanca but also Nancy), as per usual I sallied forth.

  “And I’ve never taken a hayride.” I looked at Jet and informed her in a chirpy voice, “I’ve always wanted a s’more but my father never let me go to camp. Or take a hayride. Or go to a hog roast. He was weird that way, you know, being kind of suffocating and not letting me be social or have friends.” I glanced acro
ss the table and declared, “Sounds like fun!”

  So I was manipulating the fact that they were nice people and trying to make them feel sorry for me.

  It was the only card I had to play and, for Jet, I played it.

  Jet was smiling at me, beautiful and huge.

  Eddie wasn’t smiling, exactly, but I could see his dimple.

  Hector was shaking his head but his eyes were warm and intense in a new way that was mixed with humor and affection and that brought back that lovely, snug, comfy feeling.

  Tex’s head snapped in my direction.

  “Fuckin’ A, woman, you’ve never had a s’more?” he boomed.

  I shook my head.

  “Christ, everyone’s gotta have a s’more before they die. Fuck that shit, I’ll build a fire in my backyard tonight and I’ll stop by Kumar’s on the way home to get the stuff. Everyone can come by –”

  Damn and blast!

  Tex was being really nice but he was ruining everything!

  “No,” I cut in quickly, “I can wait until Jet’s wedding.”

  “There’s no waitin’ for s’mores,” Tex boomed back.

  “But –” I started.

  “No lip!” Tex boomed again.

  “Sadie and I have plans tonight,” Hector put in smoothly and Tex’s eyes went to him, they narrowed then I watched as the light dawned and, slowly, he sat back.

  “I’ll make you a s’more latte so you’ll have somethin’ to go on until Jet and Eddie’s wedding,” Tex told me then his eyes moved to Jet. “Now, where’s this fuckin’ barn and do I have to wear a fuckin’ tie?”

  The power, I could tell, had shifted.

  I could tell this because Nancy and Blanca went thin-lipped.

  “Yay!” I shouted as my finale, hoping to shift the balance irrevocably to Jet’s side. To do this, I clapped, YoYo yapped happily in my lap and maybe I went a little OTT. “Roasted hog!” I cried happily. “Hayrides! Bonfires! I… can’t… wait!”

  Blanca and Nancy looked at each other.

  I held my breath.

  They stayed silent.

  That’s when I knew we won

  They didn’t like it but they didn’t push it.

  I let out my breath and sat back.

  My work was done.

  And, believe it or not, Jet gave me a look of such shining gratitude, no kidding, I almost cried right there on the spot (I, of course, did not).