Breathe

by Tania Trozzo

  He chuckled but got up from the couch. “Elisabetta, let me help you with that.” He made room on the table as the older woman approached and piled the dishes they had already used. “Wow, Elisabetta, you’ve really outdone yourself this time.”

  “Thank you, Gabriel. I bring a little bit of everything. You want more of something, you come, and I give it to you. OK?”

  “Thank you.” Clara also thanked the woman who looked at her and smiled.

  “She seems so wonderful.” Clara said.

  “She is. She’s been with us since I was a kid. She’s family.” Clara felt awkward all of a sudden, racking her brain to think of something to say so he would forget what she asked. Gabe said, “How about we skip your question for the time being but that means you lose your turn and you have to answer mine. What do you say?” Crap. Of course, he wanted to skip it. What the hell was she thinking? She felt so silly. He probably hated when girls put pressure on him and here she was jumping the gun. She just wanted to leave now but couldn’t since he had to drive her home. She could text Vincent or Sal. They would come get her in a heartbeat. “Clara?”

  Her head whipped up. “Yes?” her voice squeaked. She cleared her throat to respond, “Yes, let’s forget about mine and I’ll answer yours instead.” She tried to look everywhere else but at him.

  “Ok, but will you look at me please?” He was grinning, finding humor in her discomfort. Jerk. She half glared at him since she felt he was acting a bit arrogant and she felt she had to put her defenses up. He shook his head, “I love it when you get heated up ready to defend yourself. Your eyes light up and even though it’s dark and I can’t see them as well, they are probably vivid green right now. You teeter on this line of being a bit insecure about yourself but then not wanting to put up with anyone’s shit. I like that. It shows me you’re modest yet strong, humble yet fierce. You impress me, Clara. So damn much. I just hope that I impress you enough to at least want to be my girlfriend.”

  Clara’s heart started beating a million miles a minute. She didn’t expect that declaration. Her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. Since he liked her boldness she decided to say, “Well, I don’t think that was really a question. Aren’t we playing the question game here?”

  He shook his head laughing, “You really like to keep me on my toes.” He pulled her closer, “Actually, let’s resume the position prior to Elisabetta interrupting us.” Before she realized it, he pulled her on top of his lap as if she weighed nothing, so she was straddling him again. He pulled her closer and moved a strand of hair away from her face, cupping her jaw in the process. “Much better. You were too far from me and I couldn’t see your eyes. Will you, Clara, be my girlfriend?” She just stared at him mesmerized as he waited patiently.

  She whispered, “Are you sure?”

  He took a deep breath and turned serious. “Clara, I’ve been sure since the first time you walked into English class. I was even more sure when we played beer pong and when I saw you play soccer. I’m sure every time you walk into the cafeteria. I was sure when I found out you saved my ass.” He pulled her closer, “And I’m damn sure tonight.” He was about to say something else but that’s when she put her hands around his neck and leaned in to kiss him. She pulled away this time resting her lips on top of his grinning, “Yes. Now shut up.”

  30

  Gabe

  Typical cold Pennsylvania weather arrived, signaling the end of soccer season which allowed both Gabe and Clara to clear their schedules a bit and spend more time together although Clara worked more at the karate school. She kept herself awfully busy. He admired that she was a hard worker but he sometimes worried that she overdid it. He kept wanting to ask her about it but didn’t. At least not yet. Gabe sometimes went to the karate school and sat there waiting for her.

  If previously anyone at school had any doubts that Gabe and Clara were an item, they no longer did. He held her hand often, pulled her onto his lap at parties or in the cafeteria, even pecked her on the lips occasionally. But word travelled especially fast after his last soccer game. After he and his team had won, he picked her up and kissed her in front of everyone before heading to the locker room. He wanted everyone to know and he wanted to make sure the guys backed off. Most of the guys knew not to mess with Gabe or Alex but Bruno seemed to not care. Gabe in fact, had one more run in with Bruno and although Clara wasn’t there, Bruno made sure to comment on her beauty in a vulgar way. If it weren’t for Leo and Connor, he would have probably bashed Bruno’s head in.

  One night he had dinner at Clara’s house for the first time without the others. They were all very friendly with him, Julia in particular. He had just finished saying goodbye to everyone and Clara was walking him to the door. He had made her laugh and Julia come barreling in and hugged him unexpectantly.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. He looked at Clara who shrugged and understood that he wanted a few minutes to talk to Julia alone. Clara stepped away in the next room and Gabe squatted down to be more on eye level with Clara’s younger cousin.

  “Thank you for what?”

  Julia smiled, “For making her laugh. She never laughed like this before.”

  “Never?” He asked clarification.

  “She laughed but not like she does now with you. Now that I think of it, if she did laugh it was usually when she was with me but not when there were a lot of people. But again, that laugh was never like this one.”

  “Well then, I’ll try to keep making her laugh, ok?”

  “Promise?” As Gabe looked at this ten year old girl in front of him, he wondered if she realized how much like Clara she was.

  “I promise Julia.”

  “Good. And if you don’t then I’ll tell my cousins and they’ll come after you.”

  Gabe laughed and thought to himself, definitely Clara’s cousin, “I have no doubt.” He gave her a hug and waited for Clara to come back into the room, so he could kiss her soundly before leaving.

  He was thinking about the whole exchange with Julia when he walked in the door. His father was up watching tv which didn’t happen often. But when Gabe walked in he knew his dad was waiting for him, so he didn’t waste time and went to sit down right next to him. “Hey son, everything ok?”

  “Yeah, everything is good. You’re watching tv, you never really do that.”

  Ralph Caruso laughed, “you know me well. We just haven’t spent that much time together lately with this latest case and you’ve been busy too. I just wanted to check in, spend some time with you. Were you at Clara’s?”

  “Yeah. You didn’t have to wait for me, we do have phones, I would have come home earlier. You’re not that bad to hang out with.” Gabe said and grinned.

  “Clara wouldn’t get upset if I stole you away?”

  Gabe chuckled, “No, she isn’t like that. She loves her family and she knows I love you so… she would be happy we were spending time together.” Ralph nodded, pleased with his answer. They spent some time talking about school, soccer, his father’s latest case. His father then asked him about Sonia and how she was holding up.

  “She is actually doing really well. She doesn’t really talk about what happened to her. But I’m glad she’s here with us. I figure she will when she is ready. I know Alex is grateful you helped with that.”

  “They’re my niece and nephew, of course I would. I just never realized until you brought it to my attention. She could have come home from boarding school much earlier. But I see that she is doing much better with you guys. She’s calmed down. She seems happy,” Gabe father said.

  “I think she is happy to be back and I think Clara has something to do with that too. She’s trustworthy, and genuine and Sonia knows that so she’s more relaxed. I wouldn’t say that’s how she acts with everyone but within our circle she’s good. We’ve got her back,” Gabe replied.

  “And Clara?” Ralph asked. />
  Gabe looked at him quizzically. All of a sudden, he sensed where this conversation was going. “What about her?”

  “How is she doing in a new school and all?” he asked.

  It wasn’t the question that made Gabe pause, it was how the question was asked. His father knew something. “She’s doing well. She had a rough start but she’s ok now. But you’re not referring to that, are you?

  His dad took a deep breath. “Son, you were having a conversation with Alex in the beginning of the year about her. I could tell that she had gotten to you. But I want you to be careful, not just for yourself but for her too. Clara has also had a tough past. Has she talked to you about it at all?”

  “How do you know?” Gabe asked. No point wasting time.

  His father seemed surprised. “So she has.”

  “Dad, you didn’t answer my question, how did you find out?”

  “After what I heard from you and Alex and then at dinner that night she seemed familiar to me. I was working closely on a different case at that time with the DA and with Tony Blanchard, who was a detective there. So I called Tony the other day and asked him.”

  Gabe shook his head and got up. This was his father and he knew he was looking out for him, but he felt defensive for Clara. “Why would you do that? You could have just asked me first.”

  “Hold up. I am not trying to get you upset. You’re my son Gabe, it’s my job to check on you. What if she hadn’t said anything, and then I had jumped the gun. I wouldn’t even blame her if she hadn’t told you anything yet. Hell, I’m surprised she has. I want you to be careful because I see it, I see how much you care for her already. I just want you aware for your sake and hers. Take it easy, have fun but know that there may be things from her past that will be a road block for her and you need to be sensitive to it.”

  “I am. She’s..she’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met, dad. Anyone. I get why you would ask around about her but can you not do that again? If you have a question come to me, and if I know the answer I’ll tell you if I can. But I don’t like others…”

  His father interrupted him, “I’m going to stop you right there Gabe. Maybe I need to clarify, I didn’t ask multiple questions about her. I asked if after she was found, if she returned to the area. I also asked one more question, that’s it.” Ralph shook his head and chuckled, “Damn, you’ve become her pitbull. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.”

  Gabe put his hands on his hips and let out a breath. “I’m not her pitbull. She has been through a lot, this year included and I’m just protective of her.”

  “As you should be. If you care about her, you should be and I know you do.” His father wasn’t looking at him like he was crazy. He actually looked at him with pride, just like that night weeks ago when he had brought Clara over.

  Gabe had to ask, “What was the other question you asked?”

  “I asked what happened to the man who took her and he told me that they found a body burned in the house he lived in, presumably his.”

  Gabe nodded. “Ok. I know that part too. Did he ever mention the other two kids living there? There were two others too, older than she was. But Clara couldn’t find them afterward, she still calls the police station in Chicago to ask about them.”

  “No, I didn’t even know that. Again, I didn’t ask a lot of questions, just those two.”

  “Ok.” Gabe remarked.

  “So, does that mean you’re done shooting daggers at me?” Ralph laughed. “I need a snack, let’s go to the kitchen and see what we’ve got.”

  Gabe mumbled a sorry and followed him into the kitchen, where they made sandwiches and talked a bit more. His father had a business trip planned and would be away a few days through the weekend but back in time for the holidays next week. He was glad he hadn’t come home late and was able to spend this time with him. He still felt a little uneasy about his conversation regarding Clara but he brushed it off realizing it was better he didn’t have to hide anything but hoping Clara would feel the same.

  31

  Clara

  Clara went upstairs after Gabe left to get changed in something much more comfortable. She heard Julia’s TV still on and decided to check in on her. She wasn’t sure what she had said to Gabe earlier and he did not go into specifics just telling her, “She’s happy for you.” She knocked on the door and peered inside. Julia’s was laying down watching the Nanny reruns. She turned to look at Clara and smiled. “You never get sick of this show, huh?” Clara said leaning on the door.

  Julia responded, “Nope, and neither do you. Come watch with me.” Clara decided to lay down next to Julia and watch with her. Julia snuggled next to her. As they were laughing, another knock sounded on the door.

  They both looked, and it was Laura. “Hey, what are you guys doing?”

  “Watching the Nanny reruns,” Julia replied.

  “I had just stopped to check in and got sucked in,” Clara said. “Come on, you know you want to watch too.” Laura laughed. Clara moved over, and Laura laid down next to her and they started laughing as they watched the show. They stayed like that maybe 20 minutes as the episode finished and the next started. Neither Laura nor Clara were inclined to get up and leave yet. Laura had left the door open and all of them saw Vince walk by, stop in his tracks and back up.

  He looked in and smiled. “What are you guys watching?” They all repeated for the third time their show of choice. “Is this a girls only late night show binge?”

  “Nope,” said Julia.

  “You live in a house full of women, I’d think you’d get used to the fact that you’re included in almost everything,” Laura said.

  “Just making sure, I didn’t want to interrupt if you were talking about girl stuff,” replied Vince. He decided to lay down at the bottom of the bed, perpendicular to them.

  They watched quietly for a little while, commenting here and there on the show and teasing eachother. Clara laughed whole heartedly at something Vince said and they all laughed along with her. It was Julia the first to speak, “I like him.” She squeezed Clara’s hand. Clara turned to look at her, knowing she wasn’t referring to the show but to Gabe. “Is that what you told him tonight?” She asked her younger cousin.

  “He didn’t tell you?” Julia asked her incredulously. Clara shook her head. Julia hesitated at first to find the right words but then spoke quietly and with conviction, “I thanked him for making you laugh.” Laura and Vince were quiet.

  Clara chuckled and turned toward her, “I’ve laughed before.”

  “Not really,” replied Vince. “I mean you did but not like you laughed just a few minutes ago. You never laughed like that.”

  “Your laugh was kind of hollow before. Now it’s genuine,” interjected Laura.

  “Huh.” Clara didn’t know what to say, partially because she thought there were plenty of times that she laughed just fine and of course, there were times that she thought she had fooled everyone and apparently not. But maybe that was the point. For a long time she was ok, just going through the motions, day after day, trying to get back to normal. But lately she felt different, she felt like she could breathe.

  They were quiet a few minutes and then Laura said, “I like him too.” She took Clara’s other hand and squeezed.

  Vince turned his head, “I haven’t kicked his ass with the cousins, so you know I have to like him at least a little bit.”

  Laura laughed, “You guys haven’t even done your typical line of questioning. That’s saying a lot.” She was quiet a second and then she said, “I think even dad likes him. He still looks at him a bit warily, but he was stricter before with having boyfriends and all, but with you he isn’t, and I think that’s partially because of who you’ve become and in part because of how Gabe seems like a good guy.”

  “How can you dislike a guy that looks at Clara like she’s hung the moon?” Vince sai
d, turning his attention once again to the girls. Clara’s eyes widened. “Even if dad didn’t want you to date, all he ever wanted, was to see you happy. All we want, is to see you happy. You’ve changed Clara, in a good way. You’re more carefree. A part of that is thanks to Gabe. And the others too. So why would we go against that?”

  “It was like there was a missing piece to your puzzle,” Laura said quietly again. Clara squeezed her hand.

  “All right then,” Clara began to say, “I guess I like him too.”

  Everyone chuckled, including Clara herself. They spent probably another hour there watching the Nanny, cracking jokes, until Julia’s eyes started to close, heavy from sleep. Clara nudged Laura and Vince whispering, “let’s go.” She kissed Julia on the forehead, as did Laura. They headed out of her room. Laura squeezed her hand, “love you,” and headed to her room. Vince hugged her tightly. Clara went to bed and thought about what her cousins said. As she snuggled into her pillow, she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

  32

  Gabe

  Gabe was exhausted. He ran his hand over his face. The meeting with his science group took much longer than expected. The girls kept getting off topic. One of the girls named Stella either blushed every time Gabe turned his attention to her or stared at him like he was a science experiment. Instead, the other girl was different. She was calculating. He couldn’t wait for this meeting to be over so he could enjoy Clara for 12 days straight. Finally after two hours they made some headway and split up their tasks to be done. Lola kept insisting they should meet during break but everyone said no.