Pretense

by Lori Wick

  Paul nodded but wasn't too surprised. Something pretty serious had to have made his wife this upset.

  "You probably wouldn't have recognized me," Marrell went on. "I told her how I felt. I decided that I would have my say even if she kicked me out."

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  A small smile lingered around Paul's mouth. He would have loved to see her in action.

  "What did you say?"

  "I can't remember all of it," she admitted. "I know I asked her if they'd already been intimate, and when she said no, I told her to call and break it off with him. You wouldn't have believed it, Paul." Her face was shocked as she remembered it all over again. "He called in the middle of our conversation."

  "You're kidding."

  "I wish I were. I was ready to leave her so she could talk to him, but she wanted me to stay."

  Marrell had run out of words. She laid her head against the sofa back and stared at the ceiling. Paul continued to watch her.

  "How did you end up inviting her for dinner Tuesday?"

  "I don't think she has anyone," she said before looking at him. "We don't have plans, do we?"

  "No, I just wondered. She's not bringing this guy, is she?"

  Marrell shook her head. "She broke it off. Right on the phone she told him. Their sessions are usually on Tuesday nights, so I invited her for that night specifically so he can't contact her."

  Paul took a moment to compute all of this, remembering the way she had come home and hugged him, the almost desperate way she had held on. Paul wasn't close to anyone other than his wife and girls, but he hurt when they hurt and could well imagine how all of this had affected her.

  "Still glad you went?" he asked.

  "Yeah. I love her, Paul. And in so many ways she's still the same Shay. Even with all she's been through, I feel so lucky to be in the same town and able to see her." Marrell pulled a sudden face. "She says I have an accent."

  "They're saying the same thing to me at work."

  Marrell's mouth opened. The women she had met in Texas had had such pronounced accents that she never heard her own.

  "Do the girls?"

  "I'm sure they do. What's the trauma?"

  "I just don't want them teased at school."

  "Don't borrow trouble. The other kids may think it's fun."

  Marrell was not convinced, but Paul was done talking about Shay, Texas accents, and his daughters.

  "Are you tired?" he asked.

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  "A little."

  "How tired?"

  There was no missing his tone. Marrell smiled, and with that Paul rose and went to the stereo. Moments later the room was full of the soft sounds of the Glenn Miller Band. Paul held out his hand, and Marrell joined him in the middle of the floor. They danced slowly for the next 40 minutes with little need for conversation.

  Not until Marrell had stood had she realized how tired she was, but the photo of Shay and Marty came to mind.Idon't hate the man, I just can't live with him.With a huge sigh, Marrell moved a little deeper into her husband's embrace.

  Marrell was nervous on Tuesday evening. Half of her expected Shay to call and cancel, and the other half hoped she would. How well did she know Shay now? What if she decided she wanted Paul?

  Marrell felt horrible for the thought and pushed it away. No matter what Shay had been into, she would not try to entice Paul. Marrell was sure of that. Not to mention Paul; he was not interested in other women. Marrell had always known that. A marriage built on suspicion was no marriage at all.

  "How's it going?"

  Marrell turned in surprise to find the man of her thoughts standing in the kitchen doorway.

  "You're early."

  "Yeah. I assumed you were working yourself into a trauma, but I must have been wrong."

  "Why do you think you're wrong?"

  He shrugged. "The table's set, the house looks great, the girls aren't fighting."

  "Well, I'm glad to know that the surface looks good."

  Paul came and put his arms around her for that.

  "What has your imagination dreamed up?"

  "That she'll decide she wants my husband next."

  "Oh, Mary." Paul's voice was low.

  "I'm sorry, Paul. I'm going to give you a horrid impression of her. I love Shay. I wish I hadn't even thought of it."

  "I'm sure we'll get along fine. And even if she did put designs on me, there's only one woman I'm interested in."

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  "I just finished telling myself that." Paul kissed her. "Where are the girls?"

  "They want Shay to see their rooms, so they're fixing them up." Paul kissed her again. "I'll check on them on the way to the shower. Is there anything else you need?"

  "No. You're home, and that's all that matters." Paul smiled before moving on his way. The clock read 5:20. Shay would be there soon. The lasagna was in the oven, and the salad and dressing were waiting in the refrigerator. She wouldn't do the bread until after Shay arrived. It was one of the few meals she never messed up, but she was still nervous. The sound of water came from upstairs, and she knew Paul was in the shower. The thought calmed her. She didn't have to face this alone. She was glad she'd met Shay again, but if for some reason it didn't work out, she always had her husband and girls. Telling herself she was finally ready to face the evening, Marrell went back to work on the pot she was washing.

  "I can't believe how pretty they are, Marrell," Shay said several hours later.

  Marrell smiled. Paul had just taken the girls off to bed, and the women had already started their coffee in the living room.

  "We think so," Marrell replied, "but we're just a bit biased."

  "Mackenzie's huge gray-green eyes and brown hair, and D.J.'s blond hair and blue eyes-I can't believe it. But then you've always been pretty."

  Marrell laughed, but then she had been laughing all evening. She had expected Shay to arrive in a sad state, but in truth she'd been in a very good mood. There were moments when Marrell caught a look in her eyes, but Shay was swift to disguise it. Now, however, with no one else looking, Marrell caught sight of the pain that she had masked.

  "How are you doing?" Marrell asked for the first time.

  "All right." Shay's voice was soft. "He actually came to the office yesterday to see me, but I think I made him see that I was serious. He was upset but didn't cause a scene. I wanted to cry my eyes out after that but didn't and found that I actually had done the right thing."

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  "I wondered about that. I was prepared to have you call at any moment and tell me that I should have minded my own business and that you never wanted to speak to me again."

  "No," Shay shook her head, "I wouldn't have done that. In fact, on Sunday night I called my grandmother and told her everything. She said that little Marrell Walker was the best thing that ever happened to me."

  "She's probably still picturing me in grade school."

  "Probably, but she's still right, Marrell. I needed someone from outside to tell me to get my act together. My assistant was jubilant when Dante left. She asked me if we'd seen the last of him. It was good to be able to tell her yes."

  "I'm so glad, Shay. I hate to see you hurting."

  "Well, I do hurt, but I still know I did the right thing."

  The women fell silent for a moment, and it wasn't long before Paul joined them. He fixed his own coffee and sat next to Marrell on the sofa.

  "I'm impressed," Shay teased him, as she'd been doing to all of them the whole evening.

  "With what?"

  "That you get your own coffee. My friend Marrell is the most liberated woman I've ever known."

  Paul laughed but wasn't going to rise to the bait.

  "Did she tell you I offered her a job?"

  "Yes. She also told me that she informed you she already had one."

  Shay shook her head. "I didn't think there were any couples like you left on the planet."

  The Bishops only stared at her, causing her arms to go up in frustration.
r />   "Come on, you guys! You know what I mean. Paul goes to work, and Marrell happily keeps house at a time when women are burning their bras and telling men off. I just don't get it."

  Marrell could have told her friend that that was the very reason she was divorced. Shay Elliot didn't understand how love could change a person, but telling her would have been too cruel.

  "I think you have a wrong impression of us, Shay," Paul surprised Marrell by saying. "I don't own my wife. She has her own life. I do come home expecting dinner, but if for some reason nothing's made, I don't go into a rage. I work hard to support

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  Marrell and the girls, but I don't expect them to fall at my feet in gratitude every time they see me.

  "I didn't tell Marrell that she couldn't work for you, but we both happen to think that our daughters are very important, and if we can make it on my salary, then we at least want one of us to be here with them."

  Shay looked at Marrell, her face surprised. "I guess he told me."

  "It's true, Shay. We do like things the way they are. That's not to say that the girls never drive me crazy, but don't forget, I didn't grow up with a mother. My grandmother was wonderful, but I want more for Micki and D.J. than I had."

  Shay sighed. "Well, you've found something that few people do."

  "What's that?"

  "True happiness. I envy both of you."

  "You'll have it too, Shay," Marrell said kindly. "I know you will."

  Shay nodded. Paul was still sitting there, but it was as if the women had forgotten him. "You'll think I'm crazy, but I've scheduled an appointment with another therapist."

  "Oh, Shay."

  "This one's a woman," Shay swiftly put in, "and comes highly recommended."

  Marrell's head dipped to one side. "What do you hope she'll tell you?"

  The other woman shrugged. "I don't know. Often I feel so empty inside, and I just wish I knew why."

  Marrell wouldn't have admitted it for anything, but she often felt the same way.

  "Well, if she doesn't help you," Marrell suggested quietly, "don't prolong it. I think some of these counselors have more problems than their patients."

  "I've met a few that have, but I'll tell you, Marrell, there's something very special about getting to talk about yourself for a whole hour every week. You don't have to compete with anyone or listen to their problems, and most of the time, I feel very good when I leave."

  Marrell nodded, but inside she thought it sounded extremely self-centered. Paul changed the subject and rescued Marrell from having to reply. She refilled everyone's coffee, and the three

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  talked of general things until almost eleven o'clock. When Shay left, they made plans for her to come again the next week.

  Shay was all the way to the car before she gave in to her tears.Why,she asked herself all the way home,can't I have a happy life like theirs? What's wrong with me that I'm always on the outside looking in?No answers came to Shay's tortured mind, and she drove home in a fit of despondency.

  The phone was ringing when she walked in the door, and without thought she picked it up. Rage exploded inside of her when she heard Dante's voice, and after calling him a few choice names, she slammed the phone back into its cradle. When she realized what she'd done, she burst into fresh tears, but her anger had done the trick. She did not hear from Dante Casale again.

  "What if none of the other girls will play with me?"

  "They will, D.J. You'll see." Marrell's voice was kind, but her heart was preoccupied. They had been shopping for the school clothes Marrell didn't care to make, and at the moment she was just plain tired.

  "Can Micki come into my class?"

  "No, honey, she's a year ahead of you. You know that won't work."

  "I'll probably see you at recess," Mackenzie offered. She wasn't all that interested in comforting her sister, but with Delancey's surfacing fears came Mackenzie's. This was the first time they had ever been forced to change schools. She liked her school and her teacher in San Antonio. The year hadn't even started yet, but she feared it could be awful.

  "Mackenzie, are you listening to me?"

  "What?"

  "I asked whether you tried these jeans on."

  "Yeah. They're fine."

  "Well, they have them in black. Do you want a black pair?"

  "I do," Delancey spoke up.

  "She asked me, D.J. Yes, I do."

  Delancey's tongue came out the minute her mother's back was turned, but Mackenzie ignored her.

  "Now, I think you need new nightgowns too. You can't go to Shay's looking like a rag bag."

  "When do we go?"

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  "Saturday."

  "This Saturday?" Mackenzie asked.

  "What day is this?" Delancey wanted to know.

  "This is Thursday, and you'll be staying the night at Shay's in just two days."

  The girls' irritation was put aside. They exchanged smiles and thought about all that Shay had told them they would do.

  Shay Elliot had become something of a fixture at the Bishop house. She came at least once a week for dinner and stopped by other times just to visit or bring ice cream and cookies. Their mother said she was getting fat with all of Shay's goodies, but the girls hoped it would never end. Now the big weekend had come.

  Paul and Marrell's twelfth anniversary was Sunday, August 28. The girls were going to spend Saturday night at Shay's, her gift to the couple, so they could be alone for most of the weekend. Marrell was thrilled with the offer, and the girls were ecstatic over everything Shay had promised them-television for as late as they wanted and anything they cared to eat, even in bed. It was a little girl's dream come true.

  "Okay, I think we're all set. We need to get home. Your dad will be arriving, and I forgot to leave a note."

  Once in the car, the girls said they were starving. Too tired to even speak, Marrell didn't need much coaxing before she agreed to pick up fried chicken. Paul was glad to see them and always up for chicken. He teased his wife, however, when she told him how much money she'd saved shopping for the girls' clothes on sale.

  "So you stop and buy take-out chicken and cancel out all your savings."

  Marrell opened her mouth and shut it again. She had no argument, and all she wanted to do was giggle. He was still teasing her when the meal was over, but with a little food in her, Marrell was ready to fight back.

  "I bought a new nightgown to wear on Saturday night, Paul Bishop," she said softly as they cleared the table. "But if you don't stop teasing me, I'll just take it back."

  With two sentences, her eyes holding his, the issue was settled. Looking much like a Boy Scout, Paul's hand went in the air. "I won't say another word."

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  The first day of school arrived as everyone knew itwould. The school looked larger than ever, butunlike the mob scene in the girls' minds, kids were clustered in small groups, and some were even standing alone. Another misconception was put to rest when Marrell parked the car and got out with the girls. Delancey thought they would be dropped at the curb. Her mother walked calmly across the schoolyard, a daughter on either side of her, and moved toward Mackenzie's room. Checking the list of names by the door just to be certain. Marrell first dropped off Mackenzie and then a pale Delancey.

  She made herself leave the girls in the hands of their competent teachers, relieved that she was meeting Shay in just a few hours.

  "Well, how did they do?" Shay asked Marrell.

  "Micki seemed fine, but D.J. was just about sick with nerves. It helped that her teacher was very kind and waiting right outside the door for the students."

  The women were going to lunch. Marrell had gone to Shay's office, and now Shay was driving them to one of her favorite restaurants on the pier.

  "Did Delancey ask to stay home?"

  "Oh, yes."

  Shay chuckled. "I remember doing the same thing. I was always so frightened on the first day of school."

&
nbsp; "But you didn't change schools."

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  "No, I didn't, and that's the weird thing about it. I felt that way, you know, sick and nervous, at the beginning of every school year. I always had it in my head that all my friends had moved away and I would be all alone. I should have talked to Delancey and told her I know how she feels."

  "Well, I hope everything goes well. Even as I said to her that everyone would like her, I remembered how cruel kids could be. At least she likes her teacher."

  They were at the restaurant now, and since Shay was recognized, they were seated at a good table by the window, giving them a perfect view of the bay and the sailboats on the water. Several people stopped to speak with Shay, but Marrell was hungry and kept her face in the menu.

  "What's good, Shay? I'm starved."

  "The crab salad is excellent. It gives me fish breath, so I don't eat it if a client is coming in, but I love it."

  "Sounds good." Marrell closed the menu. "That and iced tea, and I'm all set."

  "I'll do the same, I guess." The women put the menus aside, and Shay asked, "What was Paul doing today?"

  "I think the same as usual. He enjoys his work, and sometimes it takes him out of the office, but I don't usually hear about it until he gets home. He tried to set up a helicopter ride for the girls before school started but had to put it off until October. They don't know about it yet, but they'll love it."

  "I'm so glad you mentioned October. My landlady, Rose, I think you met her-"

  "Yes, I did."

  "Well, her church is having a women's seminar, and she really wants me to go, but I don't want to. It would be easier if you would go with me."

  "Shay, why would you attend something that holds no interest for you?"

  Shay looked frustrated. "She's been a friend and a great landlady, and she's always so kind. I think if I just go to one thing at her church, she'll understand that I'm not into religion and won't ask anymore."

  "I've done that," Marrell admitted, her nose wrinkling in self- disgust. "I've attended something just to get someone off my back. You know what you should do, Shay? Go to one service