Pretense

by Lori Wick

  However, Marrell was able to leave with a clear heart. If she didn't see her grandmother on the earth again, she would know nothing but peace. A small corner of her heart told her that she would have more time with her and that Paul and the girls would see her again. She told Paul as much when she was finally home, tucked in for the night in her own bed. Paul kissed her and said that he hoped it would work out that way. But Marrell was wrong.

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  Their plans to be with her grandmother for Christmas that year were radically changed. Pearl Walker was gone on December 15.

  Delancey ignored the other girls' conversation, even though she could hear every word. She bent a little farther over the math book that lay on the library table and tried to concentrate.

  "She's such a snob. I can't stand her."

  "She has such cool clothes, though, and they all look so good on her."

  "I heard someone say she looks like a model. Tell me how many models have zits on their faces."

  "She doesn't have very many, Darcy-not as many as Kay Parks."

  "We're not talking about Kay Parks!" the other girl snapped, and Delancey was relieved to have the other table fall quiet. The temptation to reach up and touch the pimple on her chin was nearly overwhelming, but she wouldn't give them that satisfaction. She knew who the girls were and why they hated her, but it wasn't her fault. She wasn't interested in Kevin Bains and never asked him to break up with Rosa Castro to go with her. Rosa even knew that, and she and Delancey were still friends.

  "Hey, D.J." Mackenzie was suddenly beside her. "I got a note to come to the office and call Dad. Mom's gone with Shay to the hospital. Her water broke."

  "When?" Delancey's smile was huge.

  "Just now when she was at the house with Mom. Dad said he would come home and let us in if Mom's not back by the time we get out of school."

  "I hope she has a girl."

  "Yeah, but a boy would be cool too. When Mom and I were out shopping on Tuesday night, we saw the cutest little jeans."

  "Shh." This came from the table of malicious girls.

  "Shut up, Darcy," Mackenzie wasted no time in saying, her voice not all that soft. She turned back to her sister. "I think the administration office should check birth certificates more often. Some of your classmates act like they're in the third grade, D.J. I'll see you at the bus."

  Mackenzie left with that parting shot, and Delancey had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. She forced herself not to look

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  at the other girls. She was almost three inches taller than her sister these days, but she still felt loved and protected when Mackenzie stood up for her. She had just gone back to her math paper when Rosa sat down at her table.

  "Hey, Rosa."

  "Hi, D.J." The other girl's face was sad.

  Delancey was about to say something else when she realized the girls from the other table were staring at them.

  "May I help you?" Delancey's voice was at its most sarcastic.

  The other girls just stared.

  "Come on, Rosa," Delancey started to gather her books. "Let's move over here where Big Ears and Company can't hear."

  It gave Delancey great satisfaction to have her friend accompany her and sit with their backs to the other girls.

  "It's a girl," the doctor told the redheaded couple in the delivery room. "Red hair too."

  He put the baby on Shay's stomach, and she gasped in delight. Oliver was kissing her, and she looked up into his eyes.

  "A girl. Delancey will be thrilled."

  "Yeah. You did it."

  "I feel as though I've run a marathon."

  Shay felt the nurse's hands take the baby as the little person was whisked away for a few minutes. Shay had torn quite badly, so the doctor worked to repair her, and Oliver went to help with the baby. He was back just a short time later to hand Shay her daughter.

  "Oh, Oliver, she's perfect, just perfect."

  "Look at this hand."

  "Is Marrell still here? I want Marrell to see her."

  "No, honey, she went home before midnight."

  "Oh, that's right. Call her."

  "It's four o'clock!"

  "She won't mind." Shay looked so convinced that Oliver laughed.

  The nurse wanted to take the baby to the nursery, and since Shay was still being worked on, Oliver went along. Shay lay with her eyes closed, thinking about the miracle of birth.

  It's so amazing, Lord. Your design is so perfect. I hurt, butIhave a little girl. We made it, Father, the whole pregnancy. I'm

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  not a kid anymore, but You had her for us. She's so precious, and You gave her to us. Thank You for Marrell-thank You that she could be here-and for Oliver. He's going to be a wonderful father. Help us to show her You. Help her to see her need for salvation and not to fight You as I did. Provide the right house for us in Your time, Lord. Lombard is so busy.Shay stopped then and nearly laughed out loud. She'd just had a baby, and here she was being distracted by the home she and Oliver hoped to find. Talk about obsessive!

  Suddenly Shay was tired. The attendants transferred her to another bed, and she was drifting off as they wheeled her to her room. After adjustments and checking the chart, the nurse assured Shay that she would inform Oliver where she was. And then she was gone. It was nice to be alone.

  Shay's hand went to her stomach. It would probably never be flat again, but she didn't care. She had a baby ... a wonderful baby girl . . .

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  Thirteen

  The track runner in Mackenzie that showed promiseas a seventh grader emerged as a team leader in

  the eighth grade. Delancey was trying out as well

  this year, and if the length of her legs was any indication, she

  would be as swift as her sister.

  From where she was standing, Mackenzie looked over to where Delancey was getting instruction from the coach and wondered how she was doing. Brett Cooper, now at the high school as a ninth grader, chose that minute to walk by. Irritated over the fact that he would even visit the junior high, Mackenzie only glanced at him without a flicker of interest.

  A year ago was a long time, but she still remembered the way he had given her the cold shoulder when she wasn't able to date or agree to meet him without her mother's knowledge. If rumor could be trusted, he was interested in Delancey, but Mackenzie knew her sister. As soon as Delancey found out the way Brett had treated her, she wouldn't think him cute anymore. Mackenzie would be surprised if Delancey even gave him the time of day.

  "Okay, Bishop," the coach called. "Let's see your jump."

  Concentrating on the distance to the sand pit, Mackenzie stepped up to her mark and took off. Running was her strong point, and if she hadn't overstepped the takeoff line at the pit, it might have been a school record. The person watching for just such a mistake held her flag in the air, and Mackenzie groaned before the coach called her over.

  "I can't seem to get this," she complained. "I think I should stick to the relay and hurdles."

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  "You need to keep practicing," Coach Frank disagreed with her. "The only eighth-grade girl who can jump farther than you is Stacy. Now I want you to go again."

  "All right." Mackenzie jogged back down the grass next to the lane and stood in line for her next try. She heard people cheering at the track and looked over to see Delancey come across the line. It was almost her turn to jump again, or she would have gone to her. Delancey finished in second place, but it looked as though she was flailing her arms too much.

  "Delancey had a good run," Stacy spoke from in front of her.

  "Yeah," Mackenzie smiled. "It's those long legs of hers. But she's flapping like a bird, and that's going to slow her down."

  Stacy laughed a little. "Doesn't it feel good not to be a seventh grader?"

  Mackenzie grinned and couldn't help but agree.

  "Here's the track schedule," Mackenzie said, putting a piece of paper down on the kitchen counter and wanderin
g away. "The meets are usually right after school, same as last year."

  "All right. Do you want dessert?" Marrell spoke to her retreating back.

  "What is it?"

  "Lemon cake."

  "No thanks," she called from the other room.

  Delancey was just finishing her own supper and stood to leave, her lemon cake in her hand.

  "You're welcome, D.J."

  "Oh yeah, thanks, Mom."

  Marrell looked back to Paul, who was still at the table. "She towers over me," she said dryly. "Have you noticed?"

  "Considering the fact that she's nearly looking me in the eye, how could I miss?"

  Marrell sat back down at the table. "It's our own fault. We keep feeding her."

  Paul found this highly amusing and smiled across at his wife.

  "When's the first track meet?"

  Marrell consulted the paper. "Not until after Easter break. Whenever Mackenzie hands me something, I have to ask myself

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  how long it's been riding around in her backpack, but this time we have it with plenty of notice."

  "She's not strong on organization," Paul said of his oldest child.

  "Unless it's something important to her, like her books or story notebook."

  "That's true."

  "Have you thought about what you want for your birthday?"

  "Is that coming up?" Paul's eyes were all innocent. Marrell had been asking him for suggestions for a week, and he still hadn't replied.

  "Paul, it's less than three weeks away. It would be nice to have an idea."

  "No man wants to be reminded that he's going to be 42. I think I'm in denial."

  "Oh," Marrell brightened, ignoring his last statement, "I just thought of something."

  "What?"

  "I can't tell you," she chided him. "I'll be right back. I've got to go write something down."

  Paul started the dishes after she left, his mind on the months to come. He still didn't know if he should leave the Army, or at what point. He'd already made up his mind that he couldn't leave his family again for another year, and if he stayed in the Army, he would be expected to do just that. But when did he call it quits? He was stationed here at the Presidio until August of 1983, which meant he had approximately a year and three months left in San Francisco. Unless he decided to call it quits-then he could stay in the area with his family, friends, and church family. A very appealing idea.

  Since he had arrived home close to a year ago, he had been meeting with the pastor and one other man for Bible study. Each week they met in a corner booth of a restaurant at 6:30 on Tuesday morning. Paul had asked them to pray with him on the subject, and they talked of it often, but he was still no closer to a decision. He realized suddenly that he hadn't spoken to Marrell about it for some time. They had talked about it almost nonstop after he got back, but without having come to a final decision, the subject had rather died down.

  "That's quite a frown."

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  "Just thinking."

  "You're getting water on the floor."

  "Oh." Paul shook himself and grabbed the towel. "We need to talk tonight about my career."

  "Okay." Marrell sounded uncertain. "Has something come up?"

  "No, but I need to figure out a plan, and I realized suddenly that we haven't talked for a while."

  "Are we including the girls?"

  "Not yet. They know we're talking about it, so it won't come as a huge surprise, and right now I wouldn't have anything to tell them anyhow."

  "I've thought of it from time to time, but part of me is afraid, so I push it away."

  Paul turned from the sink, leaned one hip against the counter, and stared down at her.

  "I didn't know that," he said softly.

  "I didn't want to tell you. I hate being afraid of things like change, but I am. The Army is so secure, Paul." She made a face, clearly disgusted with herself. "As you can see, I'm not trusting very well."

  His hand came up, and he tucked her hair behind one ear, letting his finger trail down her cheek. She was so precious to him and a frequent surprise to boot. He had watched her strength and growth through her grandmother's death. And now here she had a chance to remain in the area, and she was afraid.

  "Come here."

  Marrell didn't need to be invited twice.

  "We'll talk, okay?" He bent to speak into her ear. "When the girls go to bed."

  Marrell nodded and looked up at him. "That's getting later all the time." Marrell stopped. "Do you know what I just thought of? This is D.J.'s dish night."

  "Well then," Paul said firmly, "she can finish."

  That was the last thing said on either subject for several hours, but finally the house became quiet, and husband and wife sat across the living room from each other.

  "What is it that scares you? The lack of security?"

  "Much of it, yes. I can't think of another employer who is going to take care of you the way Uncle Sam does. I know the Army has its problems, Paul, and I know you're trained to go

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  into several different fields, but I can't help but wonder how we'll make it on the outside. You're accepted here. As a civilian, you'll have to prove yourself. I get frightened for you. Unless you get passed over, they don't fire you in the Army."

  "I can't say as I haven't thought of it, Marrell, and it does concern me, but going overseas for another year, and even moving from this church family, bothers me more."

  "Those bother me too," she admitted softly. "I guess I do need to do some weighing. I can't have it all. Have you talked to Gene?" Marrell asked, referring to his present CO.

  "No. It's time I did, but he's going to ask me what I want to do, and I would like to have some answers for him."

  "Can you wait until this summer? That would be about a year's notice. Do you think that's reasonable? It would give us a little more time to think and plan."

  "I think that's a good idea. I can keep talking to friends and praying for wisdom. In fact, I forgot to tell you that I got a letter at the office today from Allen Post."

  "How is he doing?"

  "Very well. He's scheduled to be stationed back in the States by September. I was thinking of writing to him about my plans too."

  "Maybe you should. I would think his counsel would be a great help." Marrell covered a yawn. "My body is telling me to go to bed."

  "Yeah, it's that time."

  Paul checked the doors and hit the lights before heading to the bedroom. Marrell was already in the bathroom when he spotted a stack of papers on the bed.

  "Mary, what's this stuff?" He opened the door to show her.

  "Oh, it's the mail. I was so rushed after I picked it up, I forgot where I set it down. Where was it?"

  "On the bed." Paul's voice was preoccupied as he sorted through it. "There's a letter here from my mom."

  Marrell swiftly finished brushing her teeth and went to join him on the edge of the bed. She read from his side, scanning his mother's words as he read.

  Dear Paul and Marrell,

  Thank you for the letter and pictures of the girls, shown them to everyone, but one day I couldn'tfind them.

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  They reappeared mysteriously after your father came home from work, and I strongly suspect that he took them to the office. Still no word from him about how he feels.

  How are the girls doing in track? It looks like they're both tall enough to make those long jumps. I enjoyed your call last week. Lance came in just after you phoned, and I got the impression he was sorry to have missed you. I told him I could give him your number, but he declined.

  Mrs. Barry's cat had kittens three weeks ago now. So cute. I found myself wishing the girls could have one each. Impractical thought, but then I've been practical for too many years. I'm sending a birthday card next week sometime. Do you have big plans for Easter and your birthday? I feel old having my baby turn 42.

  Best close now. Your father will be home soon. I would like to sa
y he sends his love and to visit anytime, but it hasn't happened yet. I have hope. Call again soon.

  Love, Mom

  Paul put the letter on the bed and sat very still. "The girls have to know that I love them, Mary. If nothing else, they have to know how much I care."

  "They do, Paul. They love you. Girls who call you back to their rooms to make sure you'll be at their track meets are not girls who want nothing to do with their father."

  He nodded and continued to stare across the room.

  "I have to admit to having some fears, Mary, but I also have to tell you I'm excited about having a regular job." He turned to look at her. "I'm excited to move on and experience things in civilian life. Every move we've made has been hard on you, but you've done it. Don't let me push you into this, babe. If you really want me to stay with it, I will."

  "Oh, Paul." Marrell put her arms around him. "No, I don't want it that badly. I have fears, yes, but excitement too. I know you'll take care of us." She leaned forward and kissed him.

  "Toothpaste."

  She smiled. "I just brushed."

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  "I'd better brush too." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and slipped into the bathroom. Marrell picked up the letter and read it again.

  Please let his father welcome him home, Lord,Marrell prayed.Please work a miracle in Otto Bishop's heart.

  "Look at her smile," Delancey said with a laugh.

  "That outfit is so cute. Hi, Jana," Mackenzie cooed.

  The Bishops were making fools of themselves. Ten-week-old Jana Lacy was spending the evening with them, so her parents could go out for their first anniversary. Someone watching them would have thought they had never seen a baby before.

  "My turn," Paul proclaimed, taking Jana from Marrell's arms without permission.

  "Isn't she precious?" Marrell breathed.

  "It's hard to believe D.J. and Micki were ever this size." Paul looked up at his daughters. "You were, you know."

  "I think it's coming now, D.J.-a teary walk down memory lane."

  Both Paul and Marrell laughed. Mackenzie often had that effect on them.