Craving Hawk

by Nicole Jacquelyn

I hopped off my bed when there was a knock on my door, but I paused before swinging it open like I normally would. I wasn’t expecting anyone. My shithole apartment didn’t have a peephole, and the chain lock was so flimsy it was a joke.

  Staying at the Aces’ compound for so long had made me paranoid.

  But maybe a little paranoia was a good thing?

  I wasn’t sure.

  “Heather, open up!” a familiar voice called through the door. “I can pick the lock in about two seconds if you don’t… or climb in that open slider on your back deck. Your choice.”

  I stomped my foot and it felt fantastic, so I stomped it again. Sometimes it was nice to throw a fit when no one was watching.

  Then I opened the door.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked in exasperation. I’d just taken off my pants and I sure as hell wasn’t putting them back on just because Tommy had decided to visit my apartment for the first time ever. I was finally in my own space, dammit. He was harshing my mellow.

  “Told you to wait for me and I’d take ya home,” he replied, pushing past me.

  I slammed the door closed and sighed dramatically.

  “I didn’t need a ride. My sister and Rocky dropped me off,” I explained as I dropped back down on my bed. “How did you even know where I live?”

  My apartment was tiny, but it worked for me. It had a galley kitchen, the smallest bathroom on the planet, and enough space for my king-sized bed, my dresser and some bookshelves. I didn’t really need any more space than that. When I’d lived at my parents’ house I’d spent most of my time in my room anyway. At least this place had a kitchen.

  “Jesus, it’s small,” Tommy mumbled looking around the room.

  “That’s what she said,” I said under my breath.

  “Not to me,” he replied with a wide smile.

  I snorted.

  Then we were both laughing.

  “Seriously,” I said as our chuckles died down. “What are you doing here?”

  “You were pretty worked up earlier,” he replied with a shrug. “Wanted to make sure you were good.”

  “I’m fine.” I rolled my eyes. “Just a temporary case of insanity.”

  “It have anythin’ to do with that kid me and Mick beat the shit out of back in the day?” he asked, stepping toward me.

  “What?”

  “You know—that kid that was messin’ with you. It have somethin’ to do with him?”

  “Wait,” I muttered. “You were there, too?”

  “ ’Course I was,” he scoffed. “Someone had to drive.”

  “Oh,” I said faintly, watching as he came even closer.

  “Mick said he used to beat on you?”

  “That was private,” I replied, getting to my feet.

  “Had to tell me somethin’ when he asked me to help him.”

  “He should have lied.”

  “Nah, baby brother couldn’t lie for shit,” he said with a small smile.

  Then his face fell as we both realized the lie for what it was. Mick had been very good at keeping secrets. One secret in particular.

  “Well, thank you, I guess. I never knew Mick had help.”

  “Didn’t want you to know,” he said quietly, reaching out to pull on the hair lying against my cheekbone. Then his entire demeanor changed. “You got any food in here? I’m starvin’.”

  “No, I don’t have any food,” I groaned, dropping back down to the bed. “Everything was rotten. My house smelled like your tent when I got home.”

  “Ha. Very funny. Let’s go get some groceries then.”

  “What?” I asked in confusion. Jesus, I couldn’t keep up with him.

  “Groceries. Food.”

  “But then I’d have to put on pants,” I whined.

  “God forbid,” he said, grinning as his eyes slid down my body.

  “Eyes up here, turbo.” I gestured at my face.

  “Come on,” he said, walking toward the door. “Throw some pants on so we can go get some food.”

  “I’m not hungry,” I argued.

  “I am.”

  “So?”

  “Feed me.”

  “Not my problem,” I sang.

  “Fine.” He strode back to the bed. “We’ll work up an appetite, then we’ll go get food.”

  “I’m up!” I yelped, hopping to my feet. I rounded the bed and threw on a pair of jeans while he chuckled his way back to the front door.

  “Shut that slider, too,” he ordered. “You got a piece a’wood to put in the track?”

  “A what?” I asked as I slid the door closed and locked it.

  “A piece a’wood or something to brace the door.”

  “No,” I said, drawing the word out. “I just use this nifty little locking mechanism right here.”

  “Swear to God, you’ve got a death wish. Come on, let’s go.”

  “Why do you keep saying that?” I huffed as I grabbed my purse on the counter and stomped toward the door. “And how the hell are we going to bring back groceries on your bike?”

  “Takin’ your car,” he replied as we walked out onto the landing. “I’m driving.”

  “Of course you are,” I mumbled as I locked the door behind us.

  * * *

  A couple hours later, Tommy was still at my house.

  We’d gone grocery shopping, then to the hardware store, then he’d helped me put away all the food and put a wooden dowel on the track of my sliding glass door so it wouldn’t open, then I’d made us dinner and he’d helped me clean up afterward… and he was still there. Sitting on my bed. Talking about some condemned house he’d bought.

  I was willing to admit that he wasn’t quite the asshole I’d thought he was, but I still didn’t understand what he was doing in my apartment. We’d never been friends. Sure, we’d almost gotten down and it had been great, but hadn’t that just been a proximity thing? You’re here, I’m here, we’re both going a little stir crazy…

  “You’re not listenin’ to a word I’m sayin’,” Tommy said, laughing. “What the fuck?”

  “I’m listening!” I protested. “Your house doesn’t have electricity or toilets.”

  “Right. And when was it built?” he asked doubtfully.

  “In the…” I paused waiting for him to fill in the blank. He didn’t. “I don’t know!”

  “Jesus.”

  “Well!” I threw up my arms. “I’m trying to figure out what you’re doing here! I haven’t seen you in years, and then all of a sudden you’re all up in my business, sitting on my bed and taking me grocery shopping and shit.”

  “You don’t want me here?” he asked, rising to his feet.

  “I didn’t say that. But this whole thing is whack!”

  “Whack?”

  “That’s what I said!”

  He chuckled.

  “What?” I grumbled.

  “So last night you slept in my bed, this morning you were grindin’ your ass against my dick, and tonight you don’t want anythin’ to do with me?”

  “You’re here for sex?” I asked.

  “I’m here gettin’ to know ya,” he explained in exasperation. “What about this are you not understandin’?”

  “I mean,” my words trailed off as I glanced around the room for something to save me. “You barely talked to me when we were younger! Hell, you barely talked to me during the lockdown and now all of a sudden you want to get to know me?”

  “Isn’t that how it happens?” he asked. “You see someone you think is hot, you talk to ’em, get to know ’em, see if they’re as hot in bed as they are outside it?”

  “That’s a stunningly accurate description of dating, yes,” I grimaced. “But we already knew each other.”

  “Not in any way that mattered,” he retorted, rubbing at the back of his head.

  “You were a complete asshole to me less than a week ago,” I pointed out.

  “You hit me in the balls!”

  “And you deserved it!” I jabbed a finger at h
is chest.

  “If I deserved it, why’d you file off those vampire nails you had?”

  “Because they were growing out and I couldn’t get them fixed,” I mumbled in embarrassment. We both knew that was a lie. I’d been too mortified to keep them after all the comments about them on the night of the fire. A couple of guys had mentioned them when we were outside, but even more of them had been making jokes once I’d gone inside. Usually, I’d ignore shit like that, but since I’d been stuck behind the gates with those idiots, I’d filed the points down that night even though I freaking loved them.

  “Thought you were hot in high school,” Tommy said. My eyes widened. “You’re hotter now.”

  “I thought you wouldn’t have let me anywhere near your dick in high school,” I replied, echoing his words as I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “I wouldn’t have,” he said, letting out a dark chuckle. “You were too busy moonin’ over my baby brother.”

  “We were friends.”

  “Yeah, I been tellin’ that same shit to everyone who asks,” he growled, shaking his head.

  “Okay, so?”

  “So, you mighta been friends but that ain’t what you wanted.”

  “Yes, it was,” I argued.

  “Yeah, okay,” Tommy said, looking away. “I’m gonna head out. Thanks for dinner.”

  He walked toward the door and I wanted to scream in frustration.

  “What the hell is wrong now?” I asked, throwing my arms up. “You’re leaving?”

  “Nothin’s wrong,” he assured me as I reached him. He slid his feet into his boots then lifted his hand and placed it on the back of my head. “Been a long day. I’m gonna head back and get some shut eye.” He kissed me on the forehead and then he was out the door.

  The man was going to give me whiplash! First he was all flirty and then he was bossy and then flirty again and then sort of lost in his own world and then flirty yet again. He couldn’t seem to keep one mood or conversation for more than a few minutes, and then he was off on some tangent.

  I shook my head as I locked the door. I didn’t really have time to try and figure out Tommy Hawthorne’s moods. I liked him and he was probably fantastic in bed, but I had other shit to keep me occupied. If he showed up again, then he showed up again. If not? Well, I’d lived without him for the first nineteen years of my life and I seemed to be doing just fine.

  Shoving my pants down my hips, I shimmied a little so they’d drop to the floor, then left them where they were as I skip-hopped and jumped onto my bed. I rolled around a little until I was under the covers and let out a heavy breath. I had a full night of snore-free sleep in my future and I didn’t plan to waste a single minute.

  Well, maybe I’d waste a few minutes… I closed my eyes and I was back in that blue and gray tent with Tommy’s solid body tucked in close to mine. I’m pretty sure I said his name when I came. Then I laughed at myself. I was such a loser.

  Chapter 6

  Thomas

  I hadn’t seen Heather for almost a week, and the shittiest part about that fact? I’d been counting the damn days. We’d been hella busy at the shop and I’d been working twelve-hour shifts every single day. The money was good because I was getting a ton of shit finished and out the door, but by the time I was done at night I was fucking exhausted and hadn’t had the energy to stop by her place.

  I was going to change that tonight. It didn’t matter how many hours I worked. I needed to get the fuck off the Aces’ property for a bit.

  I was really hoping she’d let me in the door. I knew I’d been an asshole the last time I’d seen her, but she’d seriously pissed me off. I’d seen the way she used to look at Micky. She could tell me they were friends until she was blue in the face, but we both knew that she’d had a massive thing for him. It drove me nuts she wouldn’t just admit to it and let it go. Then I could fucking let it go.

  I didn’t understand why she pretended she hadn’t been in love with the kid. It might have been puppy love of the teenage variety, but she’d been head over heels for my brother. I hated that. I hated that she’d looked at him like that and she wouldn’t even own up to it.

  But what was even worse? The fact that I’d known she loved him, and after he’d died I’d never once checked up on her. I didn’t think my parents had either. I wasn’t even sure who’d told her he was gone.

  After the shooting, we’d been dealing with our own mess. Mom had been in the hospital with a gaping hole in her chest from first a bullet and then surgery, Will had been laid up, too, with a couple bullet holes of his own, Rosie had been pretty much inconsolable, and I’d lost my fucking mind. My dad was the only one who’d held it together and I was pretty sure that had been a close thing.

  We hadn’t had time for Micky’s little girlfriend. It was understandable, but I felt like shit about that now. While I’d been slowly losing my shit, who’d been taking care of Heather? Her sister? I liked Mel, but she didn’t really seem the type. Molly was like a surrogate sister to Heather but I was pretty sure she hadn’t even known about the connection between Heather and our family until recently, so it couldn’t have been her.

  Shit, she hadn’t even been invited to the funeral. We’d had a quiet thing after Mom was out of the hospital and only close family had gone to it.

  “Hey, TomTom, you just gonna stand there or are ya gonna get some work done?” my uncle called out from across the garage. He smiled cheerfully as I flipped him off, then he wiped his face, leaving a streak of grease across his cheek. I laughed and shook my head.

  Casper didn’t usually work in the garage unless he was doing maintenance on his bike, which was what had him there today. He was more of a numbers guy. He took care of all the books, legal and not-so-legal. It wasn’t that he couldn’t work as a mechanic. Shit, he knew more about engines than most of us put together, but he just didn’t have time for it. Thank God. When he actually was in the garage he spent most of his time heckling all of the mechanics.

  I grabbed the wrench I’d been looking for before I zoned out and dropped down to the creeper, rolling myself back under the car I was working on. Only a couple more hours and then I’d be done with the piece of shit.

  * * *

  “You’re back!” Heather said cheerfully, opening her door wide.

  Shit, did the woman ever wear pants? She was standing in the open door with nothing on but a men’s thin white t-shirt and a pair of underwear with… yeah, that was the Zelda Triforce printed on the front.

  “You ever wear clothes?” I asked as I ushered her backwards, closing the door firmly behind me.

  “I’m wearing clothes,” she argued, spinning on her heel and moving toward the kitchen area as I toed off my boots. “My house is a no-pants zone, though.”

  She got busy in the kitchen doing God knows what, and I couldn’t help the grin that pulled at my lips. “Link is my homeboy” was written across the ass of her underwear.

  “You’re a Zelda fan?” I asked as I quietly unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my hips.

  “Isn’t everyone?” She snorted. “I mean, I’m a huge Mario fan, too, but the Zelda merch is so much better so I—what the hell are you doing?” she squeaked.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m making dinner. Where are your pants?”

  “This is a no-pants zone,” I replied seriously. “Wouldn’t want to break the rules.”

  “Right, because you’re such a rule follower?”

  “I’m a fuckin’ Boy Scout.” I nodded as I walked toward her slowly.

  “Always prepared, huh?” she asked with a small smile.

  “Well, not at the moment. But if I walk back to my jeans, I’ve got my supplies in the pocket.” I kept a straight face, but when she burst out laughing I couldn’t hold back my smile.

  “You’re such a dork,” she giggled, spinning back toward the sink. “And I’m pretty sure you’ve got some of your supplies…handy.”

  “True,” I murmured as I came u
p behind her.

  She was so short that my dick was level with the small of her back, but that didn’t stop her from arching and pressing her ass into my thighs as I slid an arm around her waist.

  “Whatcha makin’?” I asked, using my chin to move her hair out of the way so I could kiss her neck.

  “Just mac and cheese.” She giggled as I bit down softly. “You want some?”

  “If you feel like sharin’.”

  “Sure. Grab some bowls, would you?”

  I gave her one last kiss and moved away to get some bowls out of her cupboard. None of her shit matched and most of it was chipped, but she’d seemed almost proud of that fact when I’d brought it up to her the last time I was there.

  “You wanna eat on the bed?” she asked after she’d covered her mac and cheese with pepper.

  “Is there anywhere else to sit?” I asked jokingly.

  “The floor,” she pointed out flatly.

  “Bed it is. Hey, you got any ketchup?”

  Heather froze on her way to the bed and slowly turned her head to look at me. “You did not just say that.”

  “What?”

  “If you put ketchup on that mac and cheese, not only will your mouth be nowhere near me tonight, but I’ll also toss your ass out of my apartment.”

  I waited for her to laugh, but she didn’t. “Are you serious?”

  “As a heart attack.”

  “You just covered your shit in pepper!”

  “Pepper is acceptable. You want some pepper? I left it on the counter.” She started for the bed again as I watched her in shock.

  “I’m serious, Tommy. That’s nasty,” she said as she sat down and scooted back until she was leaning against the headboard.

  “You’re fuckin’ crazy,” I mumbled, following her to the bed. I didn’t even want the mac and cheese if I couldn’t have ketchup on it, but now it looked like I’d have to choke it down plain. Fucking disgusting.

  “So how’s life at the compound? Anything fun happen since I’ve been gone?” she asked before stuffing a huge bite into her mouth.

  “You’re gonna choke,” I muttered, taking a small bite. “And, nah. Same shit, different day. Been working my ass off, though.”

  “Money, money, money,” she sang, smiling.