Bad Advice

by S M Mala

  ‘Because what?’ he shouted out.

  Closing the door, she went for a pee and quickly freshened up, taking a deep breath. The door opened and he poked his head around and grinned.

  ‘I want them to meet you,’ Scottie said gently. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body, feeling petrified at the thought. ‘Why do you look so worried?’

  ‘I’m scared,’ she honestly replied. ‘What if they find out about me and think it’s a bad thing? What if they think I’ll wreck your career? Oh my god! And if they find out about Helen and-.’

  He’d put his hand over her mouth while she was in mid flow.

  ‘A few drinks, that’s it. Diane will be there and yes, I know you know Larry and, of course, Nana Gwen. You look beautiful whatever you wear and I want to show you, by taking you to meet my parents, I’m being sincere.’

  Ruby removed his hand from her mouth.

  ‘And I have no living parents so the only person I could introduce you to is Theo, which I’m loathed to do if I’m being honest because I’m worried about us.’ She took her finger and moved it back and forth between them. ‘I can’t see anything positive coming from this.’

  Scottie grabbed her finger, stooping down a little to make direct eye contact.

  ‘I’ve made you feel like this, I know. A few months ago you would have gone in, head first and now you’re apprehensive. I don’t blame you. I do regret letting you down and I know he hurt you then I didn’t help matters. Just trust me. That’s all you’ve got to do.’

  Sixty eight

  ‘Trust’ was something he couldn’t do when he arrived at his parent’s house and heard Nana Gwen shout out,

  ‘Oh Scottie, she’s not dumped you yet? Give it time!’

  The woman roared with laughter.

  ‘Hello Nana Gwen,’ he said, tightly holding onto Ruby’s sweaty palm. ‘Can you leave her alone?’

  ‘You’re such a boar, like the pig, you know that?’ Nana Gwen sighed.

  He did a double take when he realised she was wearing a green strappy dress over a pair of lace leggings. She’d teamed the outfit with an old man’s grey, out of shape, cardigan. Scottie just shook his head.

  ‘You look great!’ said Ruby, smiling brightly. ‘Cardigans are in this autumn, so my friend Jacinta says. You’re bang on trend.’

  ‘Is he still banging you?’ Nana Gwen whispered loudly.

  ‘Mother!’ Jean shouted out and rushed towards Scottie.

  He noticed she glanced at Ruby then smiled approvingly.

  ‘Hello Mrs Scott, I’m Ruby and happy birthday.’

  ‘Call me Jean,’ she replied sweetly. ‘I see you’ve met my mother.’

  ‘Yes I certainly have. A few weeks ago.’

  ‘Would you like a drink?’

  ‘Happy birthday mum,’ Scottie said, leaning forward and giving her a kiss.

  ‘Where’s my martini and gin?’ Nana Gwen asked, scowling at her daughter. ‘I’ve been sat here ten minutes and not go a sip of water. See, how they treat old people? Just waiting for us to die so they can go through our drawers! Mind you, has Scottie been in yours? You both look very flushed.’

  ‘Look Nana,’ Scottie said, knowing not to rise to the bait as the woman defiantly stared back at him. ‘Be nice.’

  ‘Or what?’

  ‘I’ll think of something,’ he hissed.

  ‘That’s how you treat the elderly, you coppers? Threatening them? If I was Eastern European or from Somalia, I’d have had it.’

  ‘Oh Gwen, will you give it a rest!’ said his dad, walking towards them with a half pint glass of liquid and a straw. ‘He’s only walked in and-.’ The man stopped in mid-flow when he saw Ruby. ‘Hello, hello, hello, what do we have here then?’

  ‘See Ruby, all copper speak in this place,’ sniffed Nana Gwen, grabbing the drink out of Jack’s hand and taking a large sip. ‘We’re in the minority kid. Except for Larry but he thinks he’s middle class and white, so he’s just as bad.’

  Scottie looked at Ruby who laughed out loudly.

  ‘Dad, this is Ruby,’ said Scottie.

  His father grabbed her hand and kissed it.

  ‘Don’t worry Rubes, I’ve got your back if he tries to get frisky. Does it with me all the time,’ said Nana Gwen loudly. ‘He’s hoping his wife ends up looking like me when she gets older. The poor girl hasn’t inherited my youthful DNA, just her father’s bad taste of the opposite sex.’

  ‘Gwen, one of these days,’ Jack mumbled and flashed a dirty look.

  ‘Oh give me strength!’ said Jean, who grabbed Ruby and walked her towards the kitchen. ‘Let me get you a nice drink. I find that being with my own mother makes me want to seek solace with a bottle of wine or two, from time to time.’

  ‘What does she think it makes me want to do?’ grumbled Nana Gwen, taking another slurp and grinning at Scottie.

  ‘I saw her at Diane’s party,’ whispered his father. ‘I always notice a good looking woman.’

  ‘And you still married Jean?’ laughed out Nana Gwen mischievously before Jack shot her an evil look. ‘I can say that. She’s my own flesh and blood, you know.’

  ‘Nana can you at least keep it in control until we go,’ said Scottie quietly. ‘Ruby was really nervous about coming here and-.’

  ‘That’s because she thinks you’re going to dump her again.’

  ‘Again?’ his father said, shaking his head and looking confused. ‘You… you dumped her?’

  ‘I know. Unbelievable!’ laughed out his grandmother. ‘Son, you’re boxing well above your weight. You do know she was married to that hot shot journalist who grassed up his fellow pigs over five years ago, don’t you? The man even wrote a book about it. I downloaded it on my Kindle.’

  ‘How would you know that?’ hissed Scottie, leaning closer to his grandmother.

  ‘Searched it on the web, how do you think? When she told me her pen name, I thought I’d check her out, you know what it’s like. And she was with that handsome bugger. What happened? Shall I ask her how they-.’

  ‘No!’ Scottie said loudly while his father scowled.

  ‘You don’t want to get involved in anything to do with the papers,’ Jack said, shaking his head.

  ‘Well, it’s too late. She was one of the journalists that rumbled the old bastards,’ Nana Gwen said, smiling brightly. ‘I like her very much, you know.’

  ‘Only because you think she’ll be as anarchist as you,’ laughed Scottie. ‘The woman worked on the paper with her husband and they found out things that, well, it’s all water under the bridge.’

  For a moment he stood, pondering on the situation again, noticing Jack staring at him.

  ‘Thing is Jonathan,’ his father said solemnly. ‘It never is with the police. They just won’t let it go. You be careful my lad. You’ve just got promoted and you don’t want mud sticking.’

  ‘He’s a pig!’ laughed out Nana Gwen. ‘Where else can it stick other than up his arse?’

  Sixty nine

  She couldn’t stop laughing when Diane grabbed her in the corner, glancing around.

  ‘Now be careful of the relatives, they’re a saucy old bunch. I won’t put anything past them when it comes to getting a good grapple.’ She looked over her shoulder as Ruby smiled. ‘See him? Uncle Andrew? He always likes to cop a feel when he gets drunk.’

  ‘How do you fight him off?’

  ‘Give him a hard slap and threaten to tell his wife!’ Diane said with full authority. ‘She’s the one built like a body builder, over there.’

  True enough, the woman was very large and muscular.

  ‘Her? Well, she looks quite masculine.’

  ‘She entered body building competitions when she was fifty. All very strange but then she started sprouting facial hair. I suppose that was to do with the menopause.’

  Ruby started laughing again.

  ‘Lady, are you drunk?’ Diane asked accusingly. ‘Who’d have thought my little cousin would bring you to a family do as
his date? It’s just all so cosy!’

  ‘I didn’t want to come,’ she honestly replied, discreetly glancing at Scottie as he looked over. ‘We’ve got a lot of things to overcome before I should be integrated into his family.’

  ‘Yes,’ she murmured for a moment. ‘But he likes you and you like him. Well, you both love each other and you can overcome these things. That’s the key.’

  ‘His boss is my step father’s widow. I’m going to proceed to kick her arse out of my legal property and she’s not a nice person.’

  ‘What happens if she takes up squatters rights?’

  ‘Then I’ll make some of my other journalist friends write about it. You know how the police love publicity.’

  ‘You could ask your ex?’

  ‘He’d never say a bad word against her and, like last time, he lobbed the blame on me. And I reckon, deep down, she’s not even trying to get the murders solved in the likelihood I might get bumped off!’

  ‘Ruby! What a thing to say?’ Diane said in astonishment.

  ‘It’d probably help her out in the long time with finding another home.’

  ‘So you’re scared are you?’ she heard Nana Gwen ask, standing behind her. ‘I mean, what you do for a living and who they’re killing, it’s only a matter of time before they hunt you down.’

  ‘Nana Gwen, now you’re not being nice,’ replied Diane gently. ‘There are hundreds of people doing the same job as Ruby throughout the country.’

  ‘But these ones are from London and there are probably less than a dozen,’ Nana Gwen pointed out and stared hard at Ruby. ‘Are you sure your husband doesn’t know more about this? From what I found on the net, he’s well in there with the police.’

  It was the look she got from Nana Gwen that made her wonder if the woman knew more than she was letting on.

  ‘How would you know that Nana!’ laughed out Diane. ‘I thought you surfed for old people porn?’

  ‘It’s amazing what you find out,’ the woman replied, raising her eyebrows. ‘And you’re sort of related to the filth aren’t you?’

  ‘You have been a clever girl,’ remarked Ruby with a grin. ‘What else do you know?’

  ‘I know he looks like a love struck puppy,’ she replied glancing over at Scottie, who smiled back. ‘It’s like he’s on surveillance.’

  ‘I don’t mind,’ grinned Ruby, wanting to go back over to see him. ‘So Gwen, do you think you know much about me now?’

  ‘I know you two aren’t going to be the flavour of the month when his other bobbies find out. Ex-journalist and-.’

  ‘I’m still a journalist,’ she gently huffed.

  ‘You know what I mean and, sorry Ruby, but you’re working for the Samaritans and as an agony aunt. How do you know they’re not setting you up as bait?’

  Ruby stepped back and her mouth fell open for a moment. She noticed from the corner of her eye, Diane shaking her head.

  ‘You really have a way with words,’ her friend said. Nana Gwen smiled. ‘I think you need some fresh air, my love.’

  ‘Be careful,’ the old woman said as she was dragged away by Diane. ‘You can’t trust them with anything.’

  ‘What did she just say?’ Scottie asked, walking up to Ruby and planting a very soft kiss on her cheek, which made her tingle. ‘You know she’s a bad woman?’

  ‘She thinks you might be using me as bait to reel in the killer,’ Ruby said quietly. Scottie did a double take. ‘Are you?’

  ‘You seriously listened to that mental old bat?’ he said in utter disbelief.

  She laughed and kissed him gently on the lips.

  ‘I know that’s not true as you’re not that smart. But don’t you dare think about it, do you hear me Jonathan Scott?’

  ‘I’ll tell you what I am thinking about,’ he said, putting his arms around the bottom of her spine as she looked up at him. ‘Going home and having some hot sweaty sex.’

  ‘Not until your mother gets her birthday cake. Diane made it.’

  ‘Well, that’ll take half an hour to cut through the icing and sponge,’ he quietly laughed. ‘Do you like my family?’

  At that moment she glanced over at Nana Gwen, who pushed her tongue into the side of her cheek and then pretended she was giving a blow job. Diane then tugged the old woman out onto the patio before telling her off.

  ‘I certainly do.’

  As she stood in his garden in the early evening, she couldn’t get what Nana Gwen had said out her head about being a potential victim and also bait. Shrugging as hard as she could, a cold shiver went through her body then she grimaced.

  ‘What are you thinking?’ Scottie asked, walking towards her with a glass of wine.

  ‘Do you think the ‘Samaritan Slayer’ has a list of victims and could I be on it? Your grandmother is right, I could be.’

  Ruby glanced as his face turned ashen.

  ‘Don’t say that,’ he gently replied, handing her the wine.

  ‘Have you done a psychological profile of the person? I know you must have spoken to someone about it. Obviously, they must have been given some sort of advice that has turned them into some sort of vigilante. Or they could have been in the Samaritans and thought they were all crap.’

  ‘Why would you say that?’ he asked, sitting down. ‘Do you think it could be someone from the Samaritans? Seriously?’

  ‘No, I’m not saying that but it’s the only link, other than the problem page thing. Hugh was saying he was worried and wanted me to stop working while this was all sorted out.’

  It’s when she looked down at him, he frowned.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked.

  ‘You know, the Commissioner wanted me to talk to you about what was going on,’ said Scottie in a hushed tone. Ruby tried to hide her annoyance. ‘She thought you might have some idea.’

  ‘And that’s why you came to see me? Because of her?’

  ‘It might be someone from the Samaritans doing this. I never thought of it from that side.’

  ‘I was only saying.’

  ‘But it would make sense how they know the people.’

  ‘When you work for the Samaritans, the last thing you want to do it hurt someone, especially when you spend all your time wanting to save them. And remember, there are street signs now leading people to us, so it could be anyone. How do you know someone hasn’t been going to each branch and finding out the weakest person then knocking them off?’

  ‘You should have been a policeman,’ he laughed and shook his head for a moment.

  ‘Oh daddy Sid would have really loved that. He tried to convince me, since I was a kid, but I always wanted to be the criminal,’ she grinned. ‘Oh god, if he could see me now, I don’t know what he’d think.’

  ‘He’d be happy you were in love with a copper,’ said Scottie with a wide grin, grabbing Ruby’s hand to pull her closer.

  ‘He’d be happier if I got to the bottom of this and solved the case.’

  ‘Ruby,’ he said, letting out a deep sigh. ‘You’re not an investigative journalist, so don’t get involved.’

  ‘I could reel him in and-.’

  ‘Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’re going to get hurt.’

  ‘I’d never do that,’ she lied.

  Seventy

  ‘Does that feel nice?’ he asked the following morning.

  He was giving her a back massage.

  ‘I know you’re stopping me from leaving. I’m surprised you didn’t pull out the handcuffs.’

  ‘It crossed my mind,’ he said, moving his hands down to the base of her back. Scottie leaned over and kissed her gently where the dimples were on the top of her bottom. ‘Don’t go home.’

  ‘You’ve got Riley coming.’

  ‘I want you coming.’

  ‘Very funny,’ she laughed as he slowly licked all the way up her back, hearing her moan in appreciation. ‘And very sexy.’

  Scottie’s lips reached the back of her neck and he pressed his body against hers.r />
  The thing is he didn’t want her to go anywhere.

  He was perfectly happy.

  ‘You know,’ he whispered in her ear. ‘You could go home and then I can accidentally bump into you. I’ll have Riley, you’ll have Theo and we could all go to lunch together.’

  He then heard her start to laugh.

  ‘What’s so funny?’

  ‘Haven’t you listened to a word I said?’ she replied, trying to turn over and face him.

  He balanced on his arms as she manoeuvred under him, grinning.

  Again, he was hit by something hard in his chest and this strange numbing sensation in his stomach. Scottie knew he was in love and closed his eyes.

  ‘Have you got wind?’ she asked. He stared at her. ‘You just pulled a very uncomfortable face.’

  ‘I was thinking how I feel about you.’

  ‘Looks painful.’

  ‘When it comes to the heart, it is.’

  ‘Oh Jonathan Scott, for a copper you’re full of the words of romance, you know. Is that how you get the criminals to confess? You speak to them with verses of love?’ Ruby started to laugh. He looked at her and shook his head when he heard the dirty noise coming from her mouth. ‘Goodness, how many men are pleasuring themselves and other inmates, by reminiscing your flowery odes of love?’

  ‘Laugh away,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘Nothing wrong with being romantic and you should try it sometime.’

  ‘I am very romantic,’ she said, her eyes boring into his. ‘I’m just out of practice considering my husband committed adultery and my lover didn’t want to see me after twelve weeks. You can understand why it doesn’t trip off my tongue.’

  ‘Rubes don’t say that again,’ he replied, pushing his hand through her hair. ‘I didn’t know what to do.’

  ‘And you do now?’

  ‘I’m none the wiser,’ he replied, letting out a long sigh and hanging his head. ‘We will make it work, you, me and the various exes and children. You do want to make it work, don’t you?’

  She just smiled, stroking his face.

  ‘Kiss me,’ she said.