by Croft, Rose
“I fell.”
I grabbed the hem of her shirt, and she hunched over with her hands clamped over mine. I could tell she was in pain. “Jesus, Sofía, stop fighting me. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Leave it alone, Emilio.”
But I couldn’t. My suspicions were running rampant. I was already plotting over whoever I’d have to kill. “Please, show me what happened. You know I won’t let this go.” I tried to school my features; I tried to be patient.
She exhaled shakily and slipped her hands to her side giving me permission. I methodically lifted the hem of her shirt doing my best to avoid touching her. When I saw the edge of black and bluish yellow marks peppered over her upper stomach, I nearly lost the contents in my stomach. When I lifted her shirt farther, I nearly lost my civility. Her bruises painted her ribs like an ugly flashing neon sign. She’d taken a beating.
I had to keep my shit together although fury blazed loud and violent in my veins, but I wouldn’t, couldn’t release it in front of her. “Who did this, Sofía?”
She stared down at the floor. Her cheeks were tinged pink. Dammit! I wasn’t trying to shame her. I wanted to ruin whoever did this.
“Papá!” Eric’s voice echoed through the deserted school hallway.
I quickly covered her torso, inwardly cursing, trying to keep myself together. Sofía pasted a wobbly smile on her face. I glanced behind me and saw Eric running to me. Dani stood at the entry with an I’m sorry look etched in her worried forehead.
“Hey, buddy…”
Eric had dried ketchup on the side of his mouth probably from the hot dog and French fries I assumed he ate. That was his favorite last-meal-request-shit besides pizza.
“I’m ready to go to the bounce house.”
“Okay.”
He peered over my shoulder. “Can Sofí go with us?”
I glanced behind me as Sofía’s eyes danced between Eric and I. I didn’t know what Sofía’s plans were, but I needed to find out what happened. I felt barely leashed anger pulsing through me but I had to stifle it for my son. “Yeah, Sofí can join us.”
“I should go…” She pointed behind her, but her eyes were locked longingly on Eric.
“Stay.”
In my younger days, I’d always been one to rush into things without thinking it through. As I grew older, I learned that patience truly is a virtue… but right now, all that Zen shit went out the window. I knew I was dwelling in impulsiveness as the words rolled off my tongue. “Stay, and I’ll take you home.”
She nodded, and Eric bounced up and down like the Energizer Bunny. “Let’s go!” he shouted and took off down the hall to the doors.
“You’re sure?” She raised her eyes in question.
“Consider this your audition. Let me see for myself how well you do.”
Sofía
I followed Emilio through the school and out the doors where a side parking lot was closed off with food trucks and tables. Farther down, were several stations set up with games, an obstacle course, and a huge inflatable blue and red bounce house with a line of kids waiting.
“I want answers, understand? I need to know what happened,” he warned as we moved closer to a table with all the recognizable faces of his family. When they saw us, the wide-eyed looks of his aunt and uncle, sister Lily, and younger brother Yovani were unmistakable. Along with the tension. However, his cousin Adrian almost seemed amused while his brother Vince looked right through me. Awkward was an understatement.
“Sofí… I mean, Miss Flores,” Eric corrected and turned to the gorgeous blonde who’d seen us in the hallway. “She’s one of my teachers.”
“She is?” Blondie asked with genuine interest and no weird or condemning glances. She’d never been around in the past.
However, everyone else’s eyes turned to Emilio, and if this were a telenovela, the dramatic music would’ve hit a high note and stayed until the scene faded out. I didn’t know whether to smile and greet everyone or hightail it out of here.
“Yes, I volunteer at the school,” I responded weakly.
“Well, this is interesting,” Adrian said and raised his eyes to Emilio who ignored the looks and directed a hand to Eric. “You wanna check out the bounce house?”
“Yes! Come on, Sofí!” Eric pulled me along with him, and I glanced back at Emilio who seemed like he was watching a surreal movie as he followed us down the sidewalk to the bounce house.
Eric was so excited he popped his head through the opening and Emilio stopped him to wait until the group ahead of us came out.
“Can you come in with me?” Eric pleaded as I took off his shoes. Emilio was allowing me to interact with my son. It felt like a test. He could test me all he wanted if I could spend these moments with Eric.
“I don’t think so. It’s for kids only.”
He patted me on the back. “Okay, I’ll be right back. Wait for me.”
“Of course.” I smiled.
“See ya in a minute, Papá.”
“Okay, little man. I’ll be right here.” Emilio’s face softened when he spoke to Eric, and my heart felt like heated butter oozing over popcorn.
Once Eric disappeared inside the inflatable concoction, Emilio’s demeanor changed. “He likes you.” He didn’t seem thrilled.
“He’s a sweet, well-rounded child. I’m so proud of him.”
“Where do you see all this leading to?” he asked with arms crossed before popping his head inside the opening of the bounce house. I did, too, and Eric was laughing and jumping around with the other children.
“I want to get to know him. That’s all.”
He twisted his head in my direction. “If you want to have this opportunity,” he whispered low in my ear, “then, things are gonna change.”
Before I could respond, I heard a shriek followed by loud wails of a child. “Eric!” I cried out and instinctively dove into the bounce house trying to find him ignoring the sharp pain in my ribs. However, I soon saw it wasn’t him. He was still bouncing around having the time of his life. I noticed his classmate Destiny was over to the side crying, huddled over by the wall. Scared to move.
“He’s all right, Sofía.” Emilio had a hand on my arm tugging me back and bringing me to a standing position. His touch was surprisingly gentle. “Did you hurt yourself?”
“No,” I lied and glanced through the opening. “But she’s scared.” I pointed over in Destiny’s direction. Emilio was tall enough where he could stretch out and pull the scared child out. Her parents were standing nearby, and he handed her off to them.
The guy who was running the bounce house called out time, and Eric amidst other kids crawling out, made his way to the edge. I held him in my arms and lowered him to the ground. “I could’ve gotten out by myself, Sofí. I’m a big boy now.”
“I know, but maybe I was scared and needed you to hold me,” I teased hiding my grimace and held him close. By now my torso burned with pain, but the euphoria of holding my son in my arms was too great to pass up. I saw the tic in Emilio’s jaw and released Eric while he found his shoes.
“Be careful, Sofí. You’re never going to heal,” Emilio whispered sharply, but his hand caressed my shoulder.
“It’s just a bruise. I’m fine.”
Emilio shook his head and frowned. I knew he wouldn’t let this go, but was holding it together in front of Eric.
“Where to now?” Eric now stood in front of us ready to go.
“There’s a soccer station where you can shoot the ball for prizes.” I nodded over to the goal set up to my right.
“Yeah, let’s do that. Can we do that?” He glanced up at Emilio, and I rolled my lips together forgetting how I was probably overstepping boundaries.
Emilio watched us with a strange look. “Yeah,” he said softly. He was puzzled and fighting an inner battle with this situation.
Another hour passed and we’d played almost every game they had to offer. Eric was a gamer and won several prizes including among them a small
replica of his sock monkey he’d picked out and handed to me. “This will help when you have trouble sleeping at night.”
I hugged him tight. “Thank you. This is the best gift I ever received, and I will always cherish it.”
Again, Emilio watched us in silence. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to hide his anger and not cause a scene or if he was truly giving me a chance to spend time with Eric. Either way, I was grateful for this time. It was one of the greatest nights of my life.
“I think it’s time to go,” Emilio said. Most of his family had already left. No one spoke to me, only the blond woman named Dani who was obviously Vince’s wife. His eyes softened each time he looked at her and the little girl in his arms. Emilio’s younger brother Yovani caught up to us.
“Where’ve you been?” Emilio asked.
“They had an Xbox station set up. I had to check it out.”
“What’d you do? Go hustle a bunch of elementary students?”
“Naw, man. I wanted to see the game they were playing. You know, check out the competition. See what the kids were into now. It’s part of my job, bro.” Yovani had always been the most easy-going sibling in the family. When Emilio and I were together, Yovani was working on designing his first video game.
“We’re leaving,” Emilio said.
“Uh, is she coming with us?” Yovani asked hesitantly with a thumb pointed at me.
“Yes.” Emilio and Yovani exchanged a look while my stomach swirled with nerves.
When we approached Emilio’s Land Rover, I hung back not sure where to sit. “Sit by me, Sofí,” Eric called out as he climbed into the back of his car seat. Emilio clicked him in and gave me consent with his eyes.
We were setting out in the opposite direction of where I lived. Where were we going? It didn’t take long to figure out we were headed into Emilio’s neighborhood.
We pulled into the driveway; I realized it was too quiet and noticed Eric was crashed in his seat. He had to be beat after a long day at school and then an evening carnival where he participated in almost everything there. It was a little after eight in the evening.
Yovani and Emilio exited the front seats simultaneously, while I sat and waited, not certain what I was doing here. Yovani strolled to the front of the house and Emilio opened the car door close to Eric. “Get in the front seat and wait,” he whispered to me and carefully removed Eric from the seat draping him over his shoulder.
He closed the door and stalked to the front of the house, while I moved to the passenger seat. Anxiety rumbled in my stomach wondering what would happen next. Would he let me keep my job? Or would he contact the school and have me let go? I should have told him. I wanted to, but I knew he wouldn’t understand.
Soon, Emilio was sliding behind the wheel. Neither one of us spoke for several moments, and the silence was like a truth serum, forcing me to own up. “I should have told you.”
“You got that fucking right.” He exhaled and leaned his head back against the headrest. He was frustrated. No, scratch that. He was livid. “What do you hope to gain from this?”
“I told you—”
“Yeah, yeah you want to see Eric grow and learn.” He turned to me with his brows drawn together. “Then, what? Are you going to demand joint custody? Expect to have Eric every other weekend?”
“No. I would never do that.” It never occurred to me to fight for custody of Eric. I loved Emilio and Eric too much to start a custody battle. Besides, I had a shady past and no money. Emilio had money and everything going for him, and he was a devoted father. I really didn’t have a leg to stand on. All I was asking for was this time to get to know Eric. “Please, Emilio, give me this chance.”
He scrubbed his face and cursed. “Before anything gets decided, I need you to tell me what the fuck happened?”
Emilio
She raised her eyes and I could see the conflict brewing. “What do you want me to say? I messed up. I know it.”
“Then start from the beginning. I want to know everything. You said you thought you were doing the right thing? Tell me what that means because all I see is you taking a path to jail or death.”
“I had no choice.”
“Why? Why the fuck do you keep telling me this? You had everything going for you. You said you came to this country because your mother wanted a better life for you. That she had a family who would care for you. A wealthy family that took you in as one of their own and gave you opportunities to make it in life. Hell, Belinda told me that, too. I know her family is very influential in the community. You had them, you had me and a son, and you threw all of this away to be with those assholes?” I rolled my tongue over my teeth trying to keep myself from losing my shit. “Tell me why you did it? Look at you. You’re bruised from abuse. What. The. Fuck. Happened?” I was so pissed I had to restrain myself from pushing too hard for information.
“Where do I begin?” She glanced blankly out the passenger window into the night. “I was actually born in Texas in the suburbs of Houston. My father grew up there after his family fled El Salvador seeking asylum during the civil wars in El Salvador in the 1980s. My mother was a native Texan through and through, blond hair, green eyes, and tall. I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
“My father and his friends who’d all moved to Texas being in the same situation formed a gang. They called it ES-22 for El Salvador and the street where they grew up in the inner city. He got involved in drug dealing and gang wars as everyone was trying to establish their territory. During that time, my father met my mother and they fell in love and had two children. First, my brother Oscar and then three years later, me.”
I studied her and now understood the unusual eye color and lighter hair. She was exotic and stunning. And the daughter of Los Malos.
“The city was trying to crack down on gang activity and soon members were being arrested and deported back to El Salvador.”
“You’re telling me that your father is a founding member of ES-22?” I remembered how my mother kept warning us about Los Malos when we were kids. “That’s how it started in El Salvador?”
“Yes.”
“Go on,” I urged her.
“Soon, my mother took us and moved back to El Salvador to be with my father. Not long after we’d settled in, he was in a drug bust and ended up shooting a Salvadoran police officer. He was arrested and jailed for attempted murder.”
Holy shit! I thought my life was hard, and it was, but I never would’ve thought Sofía would’ve been brought up like this.
“My mother, brother, and I lived together, and we visited him in jail. He was still the godfather of the operation and conducted his business while the gang grew steadily. We tried to live as normal as one could in our situation. I soon started school and my brother would walk with me every day.”
I imagined a young Sofí in pigtails and white button-down shirt and a navy skirt as she held her older brother’s hand while they walked to school.
“One day I came home to see my…” She swallowed and her eyes hardened. “Uncle at my house who told me my mom had run away with another man and didn’t want us anymore.” She shook her head as a tear trailed down her cheek. It took all of my willpower not to break and crush her between my arms. “I never believed it. My mother was kind and sweet to my brother and me. She held me in her arms and read to me every night.
“Tío Cesar was my father’s brother and took Oscar and me in to live with him. I lit a candle every night praying that my mother would come back. I didn’t believe my uncle when he said she didn’t want us anymore. She loved us. She loved me. I just knew it.”
Christ!
“I prayed every night for her to come back,” she repeated as in a trance. “I never understood why Mamá wouldn’t want us.”
Don’t fall deeper. Sofía betrayed you!
“I grew up with an uncle who was apparently second-in-charge to my father. It was like a Los Malos breeding ground where my uncle lived. ‘We need to grow the organ
ization,’ Tío would say. Soon mainly boys and teens were coming around to be a part of it. I couldn’t stomach seeing a gang of people beat up on one person all in the name of initiation day.” She rubbed her temples. “Along with the other inhumane things they did.”
I knew what inhumane things—murder, drugs, and threatening innocent people.
“I hated my uncle. He was not a nice person to me or my brother. I grew to hate my father who I knew was a bad person to head up a group of people that could be so violent. He obviously cared more about being the leader of ES-22 than taking care of his family.
“One night, when I was thirteen, my brother, Oscar, and I ran away. He found another family that was migrating to the United States and said we were going to make a new life for ourselves, and try to find our grandmother, on my mom’s side of the family who lived in South Texas.
“However, when we reached the Texas-Mexico border, Oscar and I were separated. I was held in detention until I could prove I was a US citizen since I had no passport or documentation. Fortunately, they were able to retrieve a copy of my birth certificate. Unfortunately, my grandmother had passed away, and I was unaware of any other family that still lived in Texas. To make a long story short, Belinda’s family ended up taking me in.”
I stared out the window as I contemplated her story. “So, you ran away from that life only to run back to it?” I still didn’t understand why she was back in this.
“Tito found me.”
“Who the hell is Tito?”
“He’s Tío Cesar’s son. My cousin. I’d taken Eric to the park that day…” Her words trailed off hanging in the air. Before she left is what we both knew she was thinking. “I recognized three guys coming out of the woods, and it was obvious by their dress and tattoos they were gang members. I gathered Eric about to take off, but they caught up and surrounded me. Tito was one of them. He knew who I was and said my eyes gave me away. And this.” She showed me the underside of her wrist with the number 22 scrolled in her delicate skin. I’d asked her why she had that tattoo, and she said it was her lucky number.