by SM Olivier
“Not by choice,” Zane said with conviction. “I agree with Paxton. Crew wouldn’t return to that life for the money. Why would he need it? We have schools offering us partial if not full scholarships. The house they live in doesn’t have a mortgage, and he makes enough money working for Kyler to keep money in his pocket for everything else.
“He’s putting himself in danger,” I huffed. “That’s not an excuse to turn his back on us and hang out with the girl that assaulted me.”
“He knows he doesn’t carry the weight alone,” Kyler agreed as he took a few steps towards the bed and sat on the edge of it. “He refuses to even talk to me, and he hasn’t shown up to the job site either.”
I rubbed weary hands over my swollen eyes. I felt nasty and desperately needed a shower. And I was tired. So tired. I didn’t want to grasp onto any hope the guys were trying to feed me.
It still hurt. Crew had let me lean on him when I needed him. Why wouldn’t he lean on me, even if I wasn’t as “strong” as him? He could at least feed me the illusion so I didn’t feel like he was there to catch me, when all along he didn’t trust me to catch him.
Don’t get me wrong. I knew I was strong. I knew I was a survivor. I just didn’t seem to carry it as well as he did.
“About that…” I took a deep inhale, knowing they weren’t going to like what I had to say. “I think I know why Crew won’t talk to you. Butch paid me a visit today.” I ran my fingers over the tender spot on my neck. “He wants you to stop calling Crew, Kyler. He made it sound like if you didn’t, he’d set all the houses, the ones you’re working on, on fire.”
Just as I expected, it was like an explosion had gone off. Kyler was up and pacing. “What do you mean Butch visited you?” he ground out.
“When did he have the opportunity to do that?” Golden inquired simultaneously.
“Where the hell was Sal?” Paxton fumed.
“Sal ran into the restaurant to get our lunch,” I explained and quickly snatched Paxton's arm before he could fly upstairs. “I didn’t tell him, and he did nothing wrong. The car was fifty feet from the restaurant, and it was busy in there. He never saw Butch and his men roll-up. Even if he had, he was grossly outnumbered. I’m glad he hadn’t intervened. He could have been hurt. Butch is a sick bastard. Right now, he’s content having Crew by his side, but I don’t underestimate how sadistic he could be. I don’t want him going after Kyler next. He acts like he owns you guys.” I looked at Kyler. “He thinks he can control me by default. He’s insisting that I visit my mother.”
“How did you get this, Peyton?” Zane inquired as he gently ran his finger across my cut.
I closed my eyes and sighed. My guys were overprotective. I didn’t want them reacting out of anger. I could see Golden and Kyler going on a man-hunt, not caring that they were outnumbered and unprepared.
The overhead light flipped on, and I blink at its brightness as Golden gently tilted my head back.
“Mother fu−” Kyler began to yell as he took a step closer.
The door pushed open then, and Lochlann came striding in. “What’s going on?” he inquired. “Love, are you okay?”
“Butch cornered her today and threatened her with a blade,” Golden seethed before he rolled off the bed. “He cut her!” He was up and out of the room before I realized his intentions.
“Golden, no!” I yelled, attempting to stop him.
I had seen the darkness enter his eyes, and I knew he was on the warpath. My legs were weak when I finally stood, but I still stumbled towards him. I reached the top of the steps when I heard the front door slam.
“Pey!” Clay cried excitedly as his eyes lit upon me.
I knew I’d have to multi-task. Clay would scream bloody murder if I didn’t pay any attention to him. However, I couldn’t allow Golden to fly off in the state of mind he was in. I scooped Clay up and ran off after Golden.
But I was too late. He was peeling away right as my foot hit the front porch. I went to reach for my phone to call him but realized I didn’t have it on me.
“Everything okay?” Renee inquired as she stepped outside onto the porch.
“I told Golden about Butch,” I said, my breath hitched with worry.
Renee looked confused, and I realized she had bought into the persona Golden had erected. He was outgoing, flirty, and laid back. On the flip side, though, he had a dark side. I still didn’t know why he hid that side, but I knew it existed. I’d seen it lurking under the surface of the image he generally projected.
“I’ll go find him.” Kyler came running out of the door next, his phone up to his ear.
He ran down the steps but quickly ran back up and placed a gentle kiss on my knick, then my lips. “We’ll talk some more when I get back,” he promised before leaping off the steps.
I hadn’t even realized he was on his bike until it roared to life. In a plume of dust, he followed Golden’s exit.
“Everything okay?” Des came out running from the garage apartment. His gun was clearly still attached to his hip.
That man never rested. He was always on. He was much better than the last guy, but I wished he would loosen up just a little sometimes.
“Yeah,” I croaked as Lochlann stepped behind me and placed his arm around my waist.
“Kyler will find him before he does anything stupid,” Lochlann murmured in my ear as I saw a pizza delivery driver come up the drive. “We’re good here, Desmond. The boys wanted to take care of something,” he said vaguely. “I ordered extra pizzas, if you guys wanna join us.”
Desmond didn’t look like he believed us, but he nodded. “We’re good. Thanks, though. I put some beef stew in the crockpot earlier. You guys don’t have to worry about us all the time, you know.”
“We tend to order or make extra all the time,” Lochlann said with a shrug.
“Well, thanks again.” Des looked at me, then waited to watch the pizza delivery guy exit his vehicle with a stack of boxes. Des stayed until the delivery guy was finally back in his vehicle and going.
My stomach loudly started protesting as I caught a whiff of pizza. I realized then that I hadn’t eaten for some time and the sun was setting. “What time is it?” I must have been blacked out for hours.
“It’s nearly six,” Lochlann answered.
“Holy crap,” I muttered as I rubbed my head, feeling a headache coming on. “Did anyone get my schoolwork? Did anyone call Anya?”
Paxton and Zane had joined Lochlann, Renee, and me on the porch. My mind was finally slowing down enough to realize Renee was here after school and not at dance.
“What am I missing?” I inquired, looking around at everyone.
Everyone looked grim.
I really didn’t know how much more I could take right now. I already felt emotionally fraught with today's events. What more would be thrust upon me? I really didn’t know how much more I could handle.
My earlier resolve seemed like a pipe dream right now. I was proud of how I had handled Butch and his threats, but now I wasn’t sure if it was just false bravado in the heat of the moment. I hated being a shadow of myself, but I was at a sudden loss at gaining back control.
“We’ll talk during dinner. You must be starving by now.” Lochlann led me into the house and to the kitchen.
“The fire alarms,” I blurted out as I recalled hearing them before I’d blacked out.
“We had to evacuate the school,” Lochlann explained. “Hey, Mai?” Lochlann called down the hallway. “Dinner’s here! Did you find a movie you wanted to watch?”
“Yes.” Maisie came skipping down the hall. “Hey Peyton, is your head feeling better?” She smiled up at me.
I realized the guys must have told her I had a headache when she found out I was in my room. Golden or Paxton would have picked her up from Grandpa’s almost two hours ago. By the time I came home, she had finished any homework she may have had and was now anticipating dinner.
I had promised her I’d tell her all about my visit to the ci
ty. Until recently, she danced for fun. Within the last few weeks, though, she was taking it more seriously. She had asked to increase her practice times from once a week to three. We had talked to Anya, and she believed she was ready for it, and next week, she would be starting her new class schedule.
Grandpa also had all the girls starting next week. Gideon and Raphael showed no interest in it, so they both decided on swimming after discussing it with them. Their lessons would begin next week as well.
“Much better, thank you.” I feigned a smile as I pulled out paper plates.
“Renee, are you coming to watch Trolls with me?” Maisie hopefully asked as Lochlann placed a slice of bacon and pepperoni pizza on her plate.
“Not tonight, Mai,” Paxton gently stated. “We’re already allowing you to watch a movie while you eat.”
“Only because you don’t want me listening to ‘adult talk,’” Maisie said with an eye roll.
“Girl,” Paxton gently reprimanded her as he placed some salad on her plate.
“Boy,” Maisie replied sassily. “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”
The urge to laugh was there, but her attitude as of late was getting out of hand. There was a fine line between being disrespectful and being spirited. Lately, it wasn't polite, and I knew laughing would only encourage the behavior.
“Number one, don’t roll your eyes at us,” Paxton stated sternly. “Number two, no one believes nor called you stupid. Number three, I think you owe us an apology.”
Maisie’s eyes narrowed, and she mutinously stared at Paxton.
“Maisie,” Lochlann firmly said. “Apologize now, or you can sit in the other room without television and go straight to bed afterward.”
Maisie deflated. “Sorry. I just don’t think it’s fair. I want to sit in here and talk, too.”
“I already explained this to you,” Lochlann stated tenderly. “There’s just some discussions you don’t need to be privy to. We compromised. We’re giving you a special treat to watch a movie while you eat. When we’re done eating, we will come and watch the film with you and maybe bring some snacks. Then, if you want to tell us more about your day or tell us anything, we’ll be all ears.”
“Okay.” Maisie sighed heavily.
I really loved watching how the guys were with the children. They shared the burden equally and were on the same page more often than not. If they disagreed with something, they pulled each other aside and discussed the situation in depth until a resolution was reached.
“I picked up more of that raspberry sherbet the other day,” Paxton added. “If you eat all your pizza and salad, we can have that.”
“Okay!” Maisie’s spirits lifted as she skipped back down the hallway.
Paxton hated being the “bad guy,” but he did it with such ease. He understood how important it was to stand firm with spirited Maisie, or she’d be walking all over us. It was just another testament to what an amazing guy he was. I found myself standing on my tiptoes and brushing my lips across his cheek. He looked surprised but gave me a warm smile in return.
“Why does he get a kiss?” Lochlann teased.
I rolled my eyes and laughed. The tension was still building in me, but it was a nice reprieve to have them as a distraction.
“He hates being the bad guy,” Zane spoke around a mouthful of pizza with a wry grin.
“And I don’t?” Lochlann protested.
“No, it’s not that.” I shook my head, grabbing slices of pineapple pizza, a plain cheese, and a piece of mushrooms and sausage. “You just slip into the bad guy role easier.”
Lochlann turned around and swatted me on the butt. “I’ll show you Bad Guy,” he mocked growled. He hastily pulled his hand back and then blinked in shock. His eyes shot towards Renee, and I realized he forgot about her presence.
She shook her head and laughed. “I know. Anyone with eyes sees it. Dad and I had an in-depth discussion about it. He doesn’t see the issue with it, especially if Grandpa Delaney doesn’t care.”
I could see that her statement made Lochlann slightly uneasy, so I tried to relieve the tension the best way I knew how. “Was that before or after the discussion about your erotica porn?”
Renee gasped in mock outrage. “I told you it was smut, not erotica porn. I like my books to have a storyline. The desperate housewife that bangs the pool-boy five minutes after she meets him holds no appeal to me.”
I could see that she had shocked the guys because all their mouths were hanging wide open.
“Don’t judge me.” Renee rolled her eyes. “You guys,” she pointed at Lochlann, Zane, and Golden, “act like you didn’t start masturbating to Playboy when you were, like, twelve. And,” she continued, “Paxton, you lost your virginity at fourteen, Zane at, what, fifteen? I like reading romance books, so what if they have sex in them? I still have my V-card, at least.”
“How do you know that?” Zane spluttered, clearly embarrassed.
I shuddered, remembering precisely who he lost it to.
I took Clay to his booster seat, allowing Renee to handle the guys. I enjoyed seeing her coming out of her shell. If she talked to them about her sex-life, her books, and taking them to task, it further proved how comfortable she was around us.
I began tearing off small pieces of cheese pizza for Clay as Renee sassily replied back.
“Puhlease…” Renee retorted, taking a seat across the table from me. “You lost it to Leah. Sorry,” she grimaced at me, “She and Bailey love to one-up each other, and Bailey has a huge mouth. Everyone has loose lips around the introvert with no friends.”
“You have friends now,” I chimed in, content to watch the rest of this discussion unfold.
“I know.” Renee grinned widely before turning back to Zane. “This is a small town. Everyone talks, especially after Bailey flashed her birth control pills to us in the locker room and told us that her mom was more proactive than her aunt.”
“I didn’t hook up with any girls in town,” Paxton grumbled as he took the seat beside me. He shot me an apologetic look, but I merely smiled and shook my head.
They had pasts. I got over it.
“No, but again, people talk. You lost your virginity to one of Kayley's cousins on a dare. A dare. Really? Come on, dude.” Renee took a large mouthful of her pizza.
“Who are you and what have you done to my sweet innocent Ray?” Paxton asked, looking genuinely horrified.
Renee shrugged and chewed thoughtfully. “I think finding Dove in the bathroom was a wake-up call,” she answered truthfully. “She’s only a year older than me. So young and in a blink of an eye, she’s gone. She seemed reasonably popular. She was smart and athletic. People still leave her notes on her locker door. They held a candlelight vigil in front of her house. I could see it from my home. People are still leaving candles, stuffed animals, pictures, and letters along her parent's fence. She will be remembered for years to come.
“So, it made me think. No one notices me unless I’m on stage. If − knock on wood− I died tomorrow, very few people would remember me. I want to be remembered. Losing my mom at such a young age changed me. I was outgoing and had tons of friends before she got sick. When she died, none of them understood what I was going through, so I pushed them away. I withdrew into myself. Eventually, they stopped trying. I don’t blame them, but I’m determined that I can’t live like that anymore. You only get one life, and we have to make the most of it. If I can’t be open and honest to the ones who mean the most to me, then I’m wasting the life I was given. This is who I am, and I’m not going to be ashamed of it anymore. I’m done worrying about what people will think.”
She took a deep breath and looked at each of us. “If you care about me, then you’ll accept me for who I am. If you can’t accept me for who I am, were you really my friend, to begin with?”
Her truths were hitting me hard. She had taken a tragedy and allowed it to transform her in a positive way. It showed terrific maturity and growth, and I admired her for
it.
“You can do all that and remain a virgin?” Paxton finally blurted out.
I blinked at Paxton in shock as Zane began to laugh and shake his head. Even Lochlann covered a smile behind his hand.
“Really, dude?” Renee started giggling. “I opened up to you, and you’re worried about me keeping my V-card.”
“As your big brother, it’s my job,” Paxton insisted mutinously.
I started to laugh. Paxton’s logic made no sense, yet made perfect sense when it came to him. He had already taken her under his wing from the beginning; it was no surprise that her revelation didn’t affect him as it did us.
“Last time I checked, I was an only child,” Renee replied tartly.
“Not anymore,” Paxton defiantly stated. “Test me. Let me see you talking to a boy that I disapprove of.”
“You can’t watch me all the time,” Renee goaded him back.
“Okay, you two,” I teased. “Can we talk about why Renee is here and why no one’s given me my makeup work for the day?” I looked over at the stack of yesterday's school assignments Zane and I found on the breakfast bar last night. We already planned to attack it after dinner tonight. The teachers had been understanding, even allowing us to complete it by this Friday.
Zane and Paxton looked over at Lochlann, deferring to him. I refrained from rubbing my head; instead, I placed more food in front of Clay.
“Another student was found dead under the bleachers today. It appeared like he had overdosed as well,” Lochlann quietly stated. “The DEA believes it’s part of an epidemic. Drug use is common among teens, but after Dove and this student today, they decided to step in. They were already investigating twelve deaths in this town and the surrounding cities. That’s why the DEA stepped in. They don’t think it was a coincidence. They believe the tainted drugs are coming from the same supplier.”
“Butch,” I stated without hesitation. “Who died?”