Nameless

by Marni MacRae

  I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, OK, that sounds like a good plan, Eve, but I have a better one. I’ll borrow a few from my brother. My nephew, Gabe, has all of them. We can do a movie night. I like Toy Story the best. I bet you will, too.”

  I like the idea of a movie night. Thinking of sitting up watching Buzz and Woody and the gang with Eve sounds like a perfect evening.

  “Oh, that sounds wonderful! Will Gabe miss them?”

  “He practically has them memorized. And besides, he has so many, he won’t miss a few.”

  Eve smiles with her whole body and almost bounces in her seat. Then she leans over toward me and confesses, “I watched the television until three in the morning.”

  “Well, you look chipper for staying up like a big girl.”

  “Oh, don’t make fun! I’m excited about the Internet and television,”

  “TV. Just shorten it to TV. No one says television.”

  “Oh, thanks, well, anyway, with so many ways to get information, I can catch up in no time!”

  “Yeah, you could get answers, sure, but a few rules to live by are ‘nothing is real on TV’ and ‘everyone lies on the Internet.’

  “Oh.” Eve's face falls, and she sits back in her chair. “Nothing is real? Not even the animal show?”

  I laugh and reach out to take her hand. I love how small, yet strong they are. I know I’ve made up my mind to find her past, but I can’t help but touch her.

  “Yes, the animal show is probably real. It just means to take things with a grain of salt. To recognize that anything can be portrayed on television, so read between the lines. And that the Internet is full of misinformation most of the time. But again, read between the lines.”

  “Oh.” She still sounds let down, and I hate that I took the light out of her.

  “Tell you what,” I say. “I’ll make a list of reliable sites on the Internet that will give you honest information and a list of channels that usually have documentaries and shows that you can trust are accurate. OK?”

  Eve’s smile returns, and she squeezes my fingers. “Thanks, Nick. I know I must sound childish to you, but it is really fascinating.”

  “Not childish at all. I take Gabe to the movies to see cartoons all the time. And I’ve fallen for more than one Internet scam or reality show that was a hoax. We all have. That’s how those rules were made.” I smile back at Eve. “You’re jumping into the lessons all at once that took us decades to learn. I’ll try to help where I can.”

  Eve relaxes back into her seat looking thoughtfully out the window behind me. For a moment, her eyes glaze as if she is somewhere else, her thoughts traveling to places I can’t go. I can’t imagine what it feels like to not know one’s self. To start from scratch and be thrust into a world where you know no one and so little of anything else.

  Is it normal to forget things like the Internet? Eve seems to remember preferred foods and how to write, do math. She knows the days of the week, months of the year and Bible references. I wonder how her mind selected exactly what to erase and what to keep.

  “I have an appointment tomorrow with a therapist.” Eve’s soft voice breaks in to my thoughts. “I wasn’t sure what a therapist was.” Her eyes focus, and she turns them to me. She seems uncomfortable and nervous.

  “Intsy says a therapist helps you with your problems. Emotional or life problems, not real ones like paying bills or fixing a car.”

  “Emotional problems are real, Eve.” I wonder just what Intsy is telling Eve and if she is the best person to define the world to her. “You’re a perfect example of someone who could use professional advice.”

  “Do you have a therapist?” Eve asks quietly.

  I think she is looking to understand the need to go under dissection again. Doc Eston is one thing—find the bump or injury and fix it. But a therapist is a whole other ballgame. I think Eve senses that and is hesitant to spill her fears just as she is getting a handle on them.

  “No. I don’t, Eve.” I stand and move to sit in the chair beside her. “But I’ll make a deal with you. If you go see the counselor, I will make an appointment, too. I think it will help you. Heck, it might help me. Maybe I have stuff to work out I don’t even know about.”

  Eve gives me a quizzical look, and I hope she doesn’t read too deeply into the offhand comment. It occurs to me that talking to Eve’s therapist may be helpful. I could use an ear and some guidance in how to best help her along. How to understand what may be churning in her mind.

  “You would do that?” Eve's fingers have found their way around mine and I give them a squeeze.

  “Absolutely.”

  She sighs and stands to put her empty coffee cup in the trash at the end of the counter, and I rise and follow suit.

  “Dr. Leesing is going to see me pro bono.”

  She shrugs rather listlessly and turns back to me. The bright happy Eve of only a moment before has morphed into the Eve of yesterday. Hesitant. And a bit cautious.

  “Intsy explained what a therapist does and told me pro bono means for free. She says therapists are expensive. I don’t like that Dr. Leesing is offering charity. I don’t like so many decisions being made without me. I do recognize that I would be in a terrible situation without the assistance that has been given to me, but it still makes me feel…”

  “Controlled? Beholden?” I offer.

  “Yes. Exactly.”

  “Eve, I know Dr. Leesing, she’s a good woman. She was a few years ahead of me in school and well liked. I have a few friends who use her counseling services. I think it would be good for you to talk to her. And as for the pro bono, consider this. It cost her tens of thousands of dollars to complete her degree. It would be a good bet she still has loans for her schooling. She wanted to learn about people, and one of the most valuable tools to a therapist or doctor is experience. How many amnesia patients do you think Dr. Leesing has had the opportunity to see?”

  “Well, rather few I would think,” Eve admits.

  “I would guess none.” I smile and reach out to touch her cheek. I want to see her smile again. I want to go back to talking about cartoons and drinking coffee in the sunlit bay window. But I know these are the steps she needs to work through to get to that Eve. To be the happy Eve without the shadow of her condition marring every moment.

  “Dr. Leesing is well trained and well educated and is the most likely person in Brighton Valley to help you, but you will also be helping her. She will get experience. Be able to learn firsthand about amnesia and perhaps even write a paper on it.”

  “It would be like a trade?” Eve asks

  “Exactly. A fair trade.”

  “Elizabeth said something similar yesterday,” Eve says thoughtfully. “But I don’t want anything written about me. I don’t want everyone to dig up and study the weird Eve who wandered out of a field. I want to just be a person, like everyone else.”

  “Oh, little dove, you are a person like everyone else.” I want so badly to hug her. To reach out and just pull her to me. But I have a personal promise to keep, so I tuck my hands in my pockets and let go of that impulse.

  “The good thing about seeing Dr. Leesing is she is bound by patient confidentiality. Similar to Dr. Eston, but I think therapist’s rules might be more strict. She can’t talk to anyone about anything you say to her. If she did write a paper, your name and identity would not be in it. Plus, no one in Brighton Valley reads medical journals, so no worries about it being passed around.”

  Eve is listening intently now. “She can’t say anything?”

  “No. Not a word. Not to me or Ms. T, not even to your parents if they showed up and asked. It’s private.”

  “Oh.” It is a breathy release, and I see Eve physically relax. “Well, that’s better. Brighton Valley seems to talk a lot amongst themselves, and I am already such an odd one out I was worried it would get worse.”

  “Good, I’m glad that helps. But I’ll still keep my word and go see Dr. Leesing, too.”

  Eve brig
htens some and stands on her toes to lean in and give me a hug. Her arms wrap around my neck, and she places her cheek over my heart.

  “Thank you, Nick, for being such a wonderful friend.”

  I’m melting inside. Heating up with a fire at her nearness and melting with her words and the simple purity of her. I don’t fight the urge as my arms go around her to hug her back.

  “Anytime little dove.”

  * * *

  Lee is at his desk when Eve and I enter the station, and he holds up a hand while he finishes a phone call. I lift my chin to him in acknowledgment and steer Eve to a row of chairs against a wall to settle in and wait.

  The drive over had been informative as Eve shared her evening with Ms. Thornton. Intsy had unveiled the magic of television and encouraged Eve in the discovery of the World Wide Web. Oh, the thrills of the information superhighway.

  Apparently, she had dined with Elizabeth at the main house, declaring the food to be “heavenly” and Elizabeth a “wonderful woman.” She didn’t divulge what they had talked about, but she did share each and every dish that was served. It’s clear that food is the way to Eve’s heart. With her slight frame and slim figure, I’m amazed she was able to partake of half of what she described in detail to me. After five minutes, my mouth was watering, and I almost wished I had been invited to the gourmet experience.

  Finished with the delectable descriptions, Eve moved on to her new favorite subject. Television. I reminded her that TV is more colloquial, and she finally began using the term. Her movie marathon that had lasted till three in the morning had consisted of Sleepless in Seattle, Land of the Lost, which she thought was funny but didn’t get much of the intended humor, and half of Pride and Prejudice. She missed the first half and can’t wait for it to run again so she can watch the beginning.

  I had to keep from laughing as she tried to condense each movie into five minutes in an attempt to tell me all about them. I thought about letting her know I had seen them all myself—Land of the Lost more than once—but chose instead to let her describe them in her own words.

  When we reached the station, we were both laughing about Will Ferrell’s character and his attempt to disguise his scent with Hadrosaur urine. It was a wonderful sound to hear Eve laugh, gasping for breath as she quoted lines and mimicked pouring the urine over her head. It took a while to catch our breath before we finally admitted we should go inside and face reality.

  Now, seated against the wall I catch a giggle from Eve beside me and look down to see her shoulders shaking.

  “What is it?”

  I’m pretty sure her thoughts are still with Will and Holly, and my assumption is confirmed when she quotes, “The size of a walnut.”

  I chuckle and shake my head, “You’re a sucker for comedies. I’ll pick up a couple classics for you to watch.”

  Eve’s smile is wide as she looks up at me. “Only if you watch them with me.”

  How can a guy refuse that offer?

  “Deal.”

  “Well, you two look lively.” Lee strides over to stand before us, and I know I must look like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

  “Uh, yeah. We were just talking about movies.”

  I stand up quickly, and Eve rises to her feet beside me.

  “You must be Lee.” She reaches out a hand to my brother, and I see the change in his smirk as he takes her small palm in a brief shake.

  “And you must be the lovely Eve the town is buzzing about.”

  He glances at me briefly, and I hope to god I’m not blushing. I’m a grown man, I don’t blush.

  “I can see why my brother is so taken with you.”

  Now Eve is blushing, and I wish Lee would keep his mouth shut.

  “We came to see about missing persons. You know, follow up on Eve’s case.”

  “Yeah, about that.” Lee jerks his head toward an office door with frosted glass in the top half. “Boss wants to see you. I just checked, we can go in and talk in his office.”

  I shrug and nod for him to lead the way. As we cross the station to the chief’s office, I can feel eyes following us and begin to understand what Eve meant by wanting to be like everyone else. I would hate being the center of gossip and stares. You would think a police station would be above that, but you would be wrong.

  Two chairs are positioned across from a large desk in the center of the room when we enter. Eve quietly takes one, and I can see all trace of humor is gone. I sigh, knowing it was inevitable.

  Coming here we both knew any news would be sobering, good or bad. At this point I don’t know which news would be good and which bad. I lower myself to the chair beside Eve and take her hand.

  Screw Lee, he can make fun of me later. He stands beside me silently while the chief, an older man I’ve met more than a few times and get along well with, looks up from a stack of paperwork in front of him and nods.

  “So,” he begins, his voice carrying a natural force and edge to it. “You’re our Jane Doe.”

  I feel Eve tense and open my mouth to correct the chief just as Eve speaks quietly.

  “My name is Eve Brighton, sir. For now.” She shrugs, and I watch as the chief narrows his eyes at her. “I prefer Eve over Jane and chose Brighton as a surname due to being born here.”

  I catch Eve’s gentle smile out of the corner of my eye and watch as the older man’s features soften minutely.

  “Eve. Brighton. Well, Miss Brighton, Officer Donovan has passed on a rather empty file to me here.” He holds up a file that is noticeably thin. “The few facts we’ve gathered and the trail Officer Hansette and Officer Donovan followed Tuesday night led to a surprising lack of leads. I have the statement you gave Officer Hansette on Tuesday. Is there anything further you would like to add that might help us?”

  “No, sir, I haven’t recalled anything, other than basic knowledge that wouldn’t be helpful.”

  “Such as.” The chief raises an eyebrow, clearly expecting to judge that claim for himself.

  “Such as food,” Eve states firmly.

  My heart swells at the clear tone of her voice. I don’t know if the chief is attempting to intimidate Eve on purpose to get her to crack and give away something he thinks she is holding back or if it is his nature to be forceful and gruff during questioning. But Eve’s tone and her cool palm in my hand shows just how much strength she has gained in two days. So far she hasn’t let him shake her.

  “I like coffee and burgers and pancakes.” Eve lifts her chin and continues. “I can tie my shoes and quote the Bible as it turns out, and I believe I can swim but can’t drive. These are things I know. However, I can’t see how they would help you. I would not hold back anything that would help my case. I certainly am not playing at being homeless or nameless.”

  Eve keeps eye contact with the chief to the end of her speech, and I watch as the two stare off for a few seconds. Neither Lee nor I make a sound or offer anything further. The chief is a man who only wants answers when questions are asked.

  “Well, it seems to me you are wrong on most counts, Eve.”

  At this Eve looks confused but doesn’t ask him to explain.

  The chief hands the file he had been holding to Lee and continues in a matter-of-fact tone. “Your food preferences could lead to a region. Burgers? Well, easy enough to show your picture to burger joints in the county. Same goes for coffee. That would take time and footwork I am not willing to pay for; however, they are clues.

  “Your shoes, for example. They were evidently worn for years. Your clothing as well. Seems that points to a lower income. The brands themselves would tell the store they are sold at which could help narrow things down. You can swim. Lower income, not a lot of gas to go off to the coast, that narrows it down to short jaunts to a lake in the summer, even walking distance.

  “You can’t drive. Now, a woman your age should have a license. That you have no ability to operate a vehicle is a further clue, confirms a lower income, perhaps lack of need. Who doesn’t need to
drive? Big city where public transport is an option maybe.

  “Your knowledge of the Bible could point toward churches or even Christian groups, perhaps a religious family worshiping at home. As for homeless and nameless, I understand you are living at the Thornton residence, and you just introduced yourself as Eve Brighton.”

  The room is quiet for a minute as Lee stares at the file in his hand, and Eve stares at the chief her mouth hanging open. She breaks the stillness with a quick laugh and looks to me, her face lit up.

  “That is wonderful! You are wonderful!”

  That is the last thing any of us expected to hear. I see the shock on the chief’s face as Lee throws me a wtf look but remains silent.

  “You have such a sharp mind! For two days I have been racking my brain and stressing over not being able to offer anyone any clues to who I am, and in two minutes you came up with possibilities that hadn’t even occurred to me.” Eve leans forward and places her small hands together on the large desk. “I will make a list of everything I know, put together all the details I can think of and give them to you. Perhaps the possibility of getting answers isn’t as hopeless as I thought.”

  The chief clears his throat and his demeanor relaxes as he leans back in his chair. “I appreciate the compliment, Eve, but I don’t think you heard what I said. I’m not willing to devote manpower and resources toward finding your name. No crime has been committed. You haven’t been kidnapped or escaped from a mental institute or state facility. We checked. You’re lost, and if someone is looking for you, then we can help by searching the missing persons file. We will keep your file open, distribute your information to neighboring agencies and within the station to familiarize our officers with your profile. However, other than that, I am afraid you’re on your own.”

  I feel an impulse to stand up and shout that he is slacking at his job. How can he turn away someone in need? But I know it won’t get me anywhere, and he’s right. No crime has been committed. That we know of. No one is in danger. And Eve is not in the system as a wanted person. She’s not in the system at all.

  “I’ll have Officer Donovan update the case. You’re welcome to give him further details for the file, but figuring out the mess you are in is not the department’s responsibility. I don’t want any more resources funneled into it.”