Sounding the Depths

by Maria-Claire Payne

  Ethan caught his reflection in the dresser mirror. “Fuck,” he muttered. “Steady on.” His heart was pounding out some tattoo he did not recognise. Uncontrollable imaginary, winged creatures wreaked havoc in the pit of his belly and his hands trembled. Ethan shook his head at his reflection. One-night stands were easy. Love sucks.

  Josh emerged a few minutes later, nude, rubbing a towel across his short locks. Silent, he accepted the bottle of water Ethan handed him and sat down on one edge of the king-sized bed.

  Ethan walked past him into the shower, resisting the urge to reach out and wrap those curling tendrils of blond hair around his thick fingers.

  When Ethan stepped back into the bedroom, he half expected to be alone. He smiled—from the look on Josh’s face, Ethan surmised that Josh had half expected to have left him alone.

  The mattress gave way under Ethan’s weight as he slid under the snow-white top-sheet where Josh lay flat on his back, his eyes shut his fingers curled into fists, balling the sheet into knots.

  Ethan propped himself up on one elbow, sliding one hand between the tight cotton barrier Josh had created between them, pausing to run his fingers along Josh’s chin. “I’m glad you stayed. Happy you came at all.”

  “Haven’t come yet,” Josh retorted. He opened his eyes to scowl at Ethan leaning over him.

  Ethan smiled. Josh’s glowering look suggested he was still pissed off at the earlier assault leaving his full balls aching all evening.

  “I can fix that,” Ethan murmured. He leant down, touching Josh’s pout with his own lips, the tip of his tongue a wet, stiff tease sliding between the other man’s full lips.

  Josh’s long lashes brushed Ethan’s face. That feather-light sensation, coupled with Josh exploring his chest with his hands as he relaxed, triggered Ethan’s cock to jump to attention in spite of his efforts to hold himself in check.

  Ethan heard Josh sigh at his touch and watched him finally relinquish his death-grip on the tortured sheets. Ethan reached down, his own breathing faster now as he felt Josh’s cock hardening under the firm caress of his palm sliding along its length, rolling his hand over the sensitive head. He tightened his grip with each stroke.

  Josh moaned, reaching out to take Ethan’s member in one hand, but Ethan paused, pushing Josh’s arms up over his head, pulling the sheet from Josh’s fair skin and tossing it off the bed.

  Ethan rose to his knees, straddling Josh’s hips. In one broad palm he held Josh’s wrists captive above his head as he trailed his other fingers across Josh’s smooth chest, his lips following his fingertips to tease each pink nipple, biting the stiff bits of flesh harder with each groan escaping Josh’s lips.

  Ethan spread Josh’s muscled thighs and folded his legs under him to kneel between Josh’s legs. He used one thumb to caress the sensitive skin between Josh’s balls and his asshole while he parted his own lips and took just the thick head of Josh’s cock into his mouth.

  When Josh reached down to run his hands over his head, Ethan halted.

  “Don’t stop,” Josh growled. He lifted his arms back over his head, spread-eagled, vulnerable—and the dark look on his face suggested he was not at all certain he was enjoying the sensation.

  Ethan watched the emotions racing across Josh’s face. Judging by his stiff cock, there was no denying he enjoyed how Ethan’s mouth felt on his dick, though.

  Ethan resumed his mouth’s slow dance, sucking Josh’s sensitive head, his ever tighter pressure making Josh’s rock-hard cock jump against his lips.

  Josh gasped as Ethan relaxed his throat and slid the next several inches of his cock into his mouth. He reached with one hand to cup Josh’s tight balls and grasped the base of Josh’s member in his other hand, his assault in earnest now.

  “Fuck, that feels so fucking good. Don’t stop. Oh God, suck me hard.” Josh thrust his hips, driving the thick length of his cock deeper into Ethan’s mouth.

  Josh’s legs began to shake.

  Ethan sucked harder, faster, his lips tighter, dropping one hand to jerk his own rigid length. “Ah fuck, I’m gonna come. You’re gonna make me come,” Josh moaned.

  Josh’s hot spunk filled Ethan’s mouth while his own load sprayed across the firm muscles of Josh’s tight abs.

  Ethan stretched out next to Josh. The sound of their laboured breathing weighed heavy in the silence between them.

  Josh sat up and frowned at the gaze Ethan turned on him. “Did I see a soda machine down the hall?”

  Ethan gestured towards the mini-fridge. “Help yourself.”

  “Dude, the Royal Navy must pay better than Uncle Sam if you’re willing to shell out six bucks for a soft drink.”

  Ethan laughed. “Separated from the Queen’s finest eight months ago. The Royal Navy paid enough. A friend and I started a fishing venture up in Oregon that pays the bills now.”

  Josh glanced up, a quizzical look on his face.

  Ethan caught his breath and tried to focus on the question in Josh’s eyes. Jesus…those eyes… He swallowed. “Dual citizenship. My mum hails from Washington State.”

  This man…did he not realise how breathtaking he was? “How’d you bust your nose?” Ethan blurted

  Josh’s eyebrows furrowed. “Nukes, huh. I got out seven weeks ago.” He glanced towards Ethan again. “Bomb squad.”

  “You didn’t answer my question.” Ethan reached out to pull Josh back down and into his arms, but Josh twisted away.

  Josh slid from the bed, avoiding any contact with Ethan. He slipped into his clothes and out the door.

  Ethan frowned—Josh needed his boots to walk out in the hall for a pop?

  Ethan heard the heavy door at the end of the hallway slam closed. Not again. He yanked on his shorts and raced out of his room. At the bottom of the emergency stairwell two flights below, he glimpsed the top of Josh’s head as the man disappeared down the dim hallway leading to the front entrance.

  Ethan shook his head, wondering how many more times during this celebration he’d watch Josh take off down into some dark place, away from him.

  Chapter Four

  At home, Josh sank down into his bed. He stared up at the ceiling, finding no answers there. His cell vibrated yet again. Texts from Ethan were stacking up now—and something else.

  “Fuck,” he muttered and turned off the phone. Lana must have activated that goddamned gaydar app again when she’d lifted his and Ethan’s phones at the party. Clever. He shook his head at the locator application on his phone, pissed off because Ethan would be able to track him too now. Still… He reached down and turned the phone back on, curious in spite of himself. Ethan remained at the hotel.

  He tossed the phone in the nightstand drawer.

  But he left the device turned on.

  * * * *

  “Uncle Josh! Uncle Josh! Grandpa Emerson says get your sweet ass out of bed!”

  Tommy scuttled across the room and launched himself towards Josh, who swatted at him with a pillow. Emerson appeared in Josh’s doorway, wincing—Josh presumed at the ‘Grandpa’—and holding a cup of steaming coffee.

  “Real nice, Em.” Lana appeared from around the corner to push her way into Josh’s room.

  Tommy shrieked and ran past her when Josh lunged at him in mock annoyance. The child’s laughter floated down the hall.

  Josh rolled over and threw the pillow at his sister. “Where are the other two devil spawn?” He held out his hand for the cup of joe, breathing in the rich aroma of the strong brew.

  “Entertaining my guest. Since you said you planned to spend some time at the recruiting centre again today, I called in reinforcements to work on party detail this morning.”

  Josh sat up and reached for his phone. Sure enough, that fucking app was telling him Ethan was somewhere in the house. He gave his sister the finger and shot off a quick text.

  Lana lifted an eyebrow. “What’d you tell him?”

  “How I like my eggs.” Josh twisted a damp towel—the one he’d left on the floor in the wee h
ours after showering Ethan’s cum off his torso—into a tight rope, mock-threatening to snap it against his sister’s legs. He hesitated, dropping the towel, content to just grin back at the ‘I’ll kick your ass’ look she shot his way as she sauntered down the hallway, yelling for her youngest.

  Emerson shook his head and exited without a word, leaving Josh to wonder what Ethan thought about all the commotion echoing down the stairs.

  Emerson’s laughter floated back up to the second floor from the kitchen. Josh trailed after him at the sound. Ethan commandeered the cooking space while Lana’s eldest son James cracked eggs and her daughter Ellie presided over the toast.

  Josh smiled when Ethan looked up at him, waving his cell, his easy grin lighting up his face. “I got your message, mate. Over-easy.”

  * * * *

  Ethan placed a plate of food in front of Josh and sat down with his own while Lana and Emerson pretended nothing special was unfolding in front of their eyes. Both had half expected Josh to storm out of the house when he’d realised Ethan was there by Lana’s invitation. The casual conversation swirled around a discussion about last evening’s many guests, the food, the excellent wine. Josh let Ethan’s hand remain on his shoulder as he stood to pour everyone more coffee, letting his own linger when they both reached for the last slice of toast.

  Tommy ran into the room and climbed into his uncle’s lap, his wide, unblinking eyes reflecting his awe at Ethan’s height and presence.

  Josh cuddled the child to his chest while he fed him some eggs.

  Emerson and Lana pretended again not to watch Ethan watching Josh.

  Tommy looked up at Ethan, his voice solemn. “You are so tall and so black and so handsome and you talk kinda funny. Do you have a puppy? We found a puppy and kept him. We named him Fred. Both my grandpas talk funny too but not like you.”

  Ethan opened his mouth to answer the rapid-fire questions from Lana’s son, but Tommy drew a quick breath and got off another round before Ethan formed a word.

  “Do you kiss my uncle Josh like Grandpa Emerson and Grandpa Blake kiss? It’s okay for boys to kiss, you know, but I like kissing girls. But you can kiss my uncle Josh ‘cause he likes kissing boys, my mom says.”

  Josh turned his head to prevent the coffee spraying out of his mouth from landing on his nephew.

  Lana lifted her son from Josh’s lap and herded her brood out into the yard.

  Silence filled the kitchen as all eyes turned towards Ethan. His shoulders shook, his eyes teared up—and then his laughter exploded and filled the room.

  Emerson poured another round of coffee. He pulled out a hip flask and added a liberal dose of whisky to each. “So, Ethan, your flight from London went well? How’re your parents?”

  * * * *

  Ethan walked Josh to the door. “A fine family, Josh.”

  When Josh smiled, Ethan’s heart turned over, and he thought, not for the first time, how he longed to be the source of that grin, chasing away those ever-gathering storm clouds shadowing Josh’s face.

  Ethan hesitated. Ah, bugger it. He pulled Josh into his arms, ignoring the discomfort settling back across Josh’s features. “Your nephew said I can kiss you.”

  Josh closed his eyes. “I think I could find you in any crowded room by your scent alone,” Josh muttered.

  Josh stepped back, but Ethan pressed his advantage, catching Josh’s lips in a bruising kiss. Ethan offered no quarter until Josh surrendered and leaned into Ethan’s tight embrace, his own tongue thrusting deeper now, exploring Ethan’s mouth. He caught Ethan’s lower lip between his teeth, hesitating just to draw a deep breath before he pulled Ethan’s mouth back to crush his own once more.

  Blake strolled into the room to hand Josh the wallet he’d left on the breakfast table. Ethan opened one eye at the intrusion as Blake took one look and executed quite a graceful pirouette to return to the kitchen, wallet still in hand. Ethan heard a door slam behind him, and any thought of Josh’s adoptive dad disappeared as the heat mounted.

  Minutes stretched into an eternity. Trembling, Josh opened his eyes.

  Ethan gazed deep into those troubled pools.

  “Dude, you gotta quit staring at me like that,” Josh whispered, his voice husky.

  Ethan stared back at him, their hands still clasped. “Like what?”

  “Like you’re in love with me.” Josh tugged his hand away and walked out.

  Ethan watched Josh stride out to his bike. Josh paused to run his fingers through his short curls—in a nervous gesture becoming fast familiar to Ethan—while he reached for his wallet, shaking his head at Blake’s smug expression Josh punched the older man in the arm and straddled his bike, glancing down at his phone before he settled his helmet into place. Ethan saw his fleeting smile as he glanced back at the window where Ethan stood.

  Ethan grinned, looking down at the text he had just sent to Josh’s phone—‘But I am’.

  * * * *

  Lana poured more coffee and sat down across from Ethan, the kitchen quiet now.

  Ethan raised a brow at the expressions tripping across Lana’s face as she spoke volumes without uttering a single word. They both laughed, a companionable silence keeping them company.

  “Later, chica. See you tonight, Ethan.” Blake blew them a kiss before he and Emerson headed back to the nightclub to prepare for the evening.

  Em reached out to tousle Lana’s curls. Nodding towards Ethan, he winked at her. “You owe me a c-note.”

  Lana gave him the finger as the laughing couple walked towards the door.

  Ethan watched the fine black grounds swirling in the bottom of his coffee mug. “I’m in love with your brother.”

  Lana narrowed her eyes. “Him, or his looks?”

  Ethan smiled. “Well, he is the most beautiful man I ever laid eyes on.”

  Lana snorted. “Tell me about it. When Alan first asked me out, I told him he’d have to be okay with the fact my brother and parents were gay. He told me he wanted to fuck me, not my brother, so this made no difference to him.”

  “He’s a Marine, right?”

  Lana nodded. “So I bring Alan home for dinner to meet the family. He takes one look at Josh and tells me, ‘Maybe I spoke too soon’.”

  Ethan laughed. “How’d Josh break his nose? He never fixed it?”

  “I could use another shot from Em’s flask right about now.” Lana took a breath, hesitant. “Josh came out to our biological parents on our sixteenth birthday. So tired of pretending… ‘Homophobia’ isn’t a dirty word in that household. Hell, it’s practically their religion.”

  Ethan poured more coffee.

  Lana sighed. “Our so-called father beat the living shit out of Josh before he threw him out. Hence the break. Bad patch job in the local emergency room. Not like a couple of teenagers carried insurance or much cash.”

  Ethan grimaced at the pain in her eyes. “But he’s never fixed it.”

  Lana shook her head. “Nope. He never talks about it, either. I think he keeps the damage as a talisman.”

  Ethan frowned. “I don’t understand.”

  Lana sighed again. “Our male sperm donor crushed Josh’s spirit for a long fucking time. I think Josh sees the broken septum as some sort of magical protection. Like nothing and no one can ever break him like that again as long as he holds on to the literal damage.”

  “This explains the bomb squad? He feels ‘magically’ safe? That’s bloody reckless.”

  Lana shook her head. “No, he’s just that good. The man holds a healthy respect for an explosive device. Every time he faces a bomb— that he maintains some control over. Lovers… Now they’re a different story. They scare the shit out of him. No real control there.”

  Ethan smiled. “I get that. How did you two hook up with Emerson and Blake?”

  Lana stretched and reached for the pot to warm up their coffee. “Well, this conversation requires two pots.”

  Ethan stood up to brew more coffee.

  Lana continued. “We spent a
couple of months bouncing around from friend to friend, but the welcome for two teenagers wears thin pretty fast.”

  Ethan widened his eyes. “You left home too?” He caught Lana’s withering glare “Sorry. Stupid question.”

  Lana continued. “Josh developed this crush on a sailor, a medic working with Emerson. The medic tried shaking Josh—jailbait twink at the time—and asked Em for advice.”

  Lana grinned. “Josh snuck in the nightclub to stalk his sailor. Blake found out about the two of us when he and Em booted Josh out that night. They moved us in with them, into this house. And here we are still.”

  Ethan sat back in his chair, absorbing the information.

  “What about you?”

  Lost in his thoughts, Ethan looked up at Lana’s quizzical expression. “Sorry. Me, my family knew I was gay early on. Not what my parents wished for me, maybe, but…well, my dad offered me and my boyfriend a lift to our first formal.”

  Lana’s tone grew wistful. “Lucky.” She stood and shook her head as if to clear her memories. “Be back in a jiff so we can go help with scraping…ugh… whatever…off the floors before round two tonight.”

  * * * *

  Ethan stepped out of his shower and rubbed himself down with a large bath sheet. He smiled, thinking about the look of utter disgust on Lana’s face for the past two hours while they’d scrubbed down the nightclub dance floor. Em and Blake retained the services of a top-notch cleaning crew, so Ethan suspected they had pressed Lana into service to bedevil her. It had worked.

  Ethan paused at the knock on his door, swinging it wide to see Josh standing in front of him, his skin flushed, the green of his eyes incandescent in the unforgiving, cruel hall lights.