In My Feelings Over His Hood Love 2

by Khadijah J

  “Follow me.” She smirked. I had her rewind the tapes to yesterday, and I saw Montejha get out the car and my jaw instantly clenched. I was killing this nigga Fabian. But when I saw him run back to the car by himself and pull off, I frowned.

  “What happened to her?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. The dude who work nightshift, Rick. He called the police, and I guess they took her to the hospital. The police came and quickly left.” She shrugged. I paused it on the license plate on the Bonneville and sent the text to my dude.

  “Alright, thank you.” I handed her another five K.

  “You’re welcome. I hope you find whoever did that girl like that. The guy Rick got emotional just talking about how that guy fucked her up and to top it off she was pregnant. It’s so sad.” She shook her head. I nodded and walked out before doubling back.

  “Aye, where your nearest hospital?” I asked her.

  “It’s like twenty minutes away,” she said, before telling me the name of the hospital and how to get there. I climbed in my whip and sped to the hospital. I parked and had to calm the fuck down, I smoked until I made my way to the hospital doors. I tossed my roach on the ground and walked through the double doors.

  “Hello, how can I help you,” the front desk lady greeted.

  “I need help. I think my fiancé was brought in here last night. She’s pregnant with our child, and they found her at the gas station,” I started, and her eyes instantly went to sympathy.

  “Okay, honey, give me a minute, okay, and I’ll get you some information,” she stated and picked up her phone. A few moments later the receptionist hung up and asked for my ID. I handed it to her, and she wrote it down, and she gave me a small smile before handing it back to me.

  “Go to those elevators right there, and there will be a lady in purple scrubs waiting on you okay,” she stated.

  “Yup, thank you,” I told her. As soon as I turned around the girl came up to me and shook my hand.

  “Hey, how are you, I’m Chelsea, I’m the nurse that’s been taking care of her,” she started.

  “Are you able to identify her?” she asked as we got on the elevator.

  “Yeah, I can,” I told her.

  “Even if her physical appearance has changed?” she asked. I had to refrain myself from snapping the fuck off.

  “Yeah,” I said lowly.

  “Okay, follow me this way. I’m so sorry, what’s your name?” she asked.

  “Kato,” I told her, and she stopped in her tracks staring at me.

  “What?” I asked. She just nodded.

  “I’m sorry. But it’s just she kept calling out your name. Here we are, just take a deep breath,” she told me, and I did before we both walked in. She was laid curled up on her side and sleeping. But this wasn’t my baby, she was beat the fuck up, her eye was swollen, and she had scratches and marks all over.

  “Do you know who this woman is?” she asked. I nodded.

  “Yeah, that’s my fiancé Montejha Monroe, and she’s pregnant with my baby,” I told her.

  “She’s under some heavy painkillers right now because we had to do an emergency c section,” she told me, and I stared at her.

  “Where’s our child?” I asked her.

  “I can take you to him,” she told me.

  She walked me to the NICU and showed me where the baby was. Said she couldn’t take me back there until Tejha woke up and verified who I was and all that shit. So, we went back to the room, and it was hella doctors and shit in there.

  “We’re going to sedate you, ma’am.” I heard.

  “No, I saw him in here. I heard him. I need to use the phone.” I heard her voice crack, and I rounded the corner, and she broke down crying. I walked up to her, and she leaned onto me and was crying her heart out. Hearing her cry like that had me feeling like I failed her. She was crying, and I didn’t even want to know what she had been through, I knew that nigga was gone pay. I knew that Montejha was all banged and bruised up. I leaned down and pecked her on her lips.

  “I’m so sorry Montejha,” I told her, looking her in her eyes. She just nodded as the tears built up in her eyes.

  “It’s not your fault Kato,” she told me. It wasn’t the time to have that discussion. The doctors were in and out for damn near two hours, but Tejha wouldn’t let me out of her site. Finally, when they walked out, she stared at me.

  “Did he make it?” she asked.

  “Who?” I asked her.

  “Our son.” Her voice cracked. I nodded.

  “Did you see him?” she asked.

  “She took me to the room and pointed to me which one was ours, but I didn’t get to go in because she said they needed to verify by you if I was the child’s father or not,” I told her. She pressed the nurse button and told them they needed to take us to see our child. The nurse came in the room and brought a wheelchair. Tejha went to stand and said her body was weak. I lifted her ass up and popped her in the wheelchair. Pushing her to the NICU, she just kept her mouth closed as we rounded the corner. They went through everything with us on what to do and what not to do, and a nigga was scared shitless. After scrubbing our hands and shit, she took us to our baby, my son. Looking at him in this incubator he was knocked the fuck out. He had all these wires coming from every direction, and I won’t lie, I was choked up. This was my kid man, I didn’t even know about him until after the fact. I didn’t have the chance to talk to Tejha belly, or nothing, he didn’t even know me. But I was someone’s father. I was his father.

  “Hey, momma baby. Who knew you were a boy this entire time huh? You okay?” She stuck her hands through the hole and touched him. Her voice was shaky, and I held her from behind.

  “Go and talk to him on the other side Kato, I’m okay,” she urged. I exhaled loudly and walked to the other side. He moved his head toward me and touched him for the first time. My baby boy. My son, he was so handsome and so tiny.

  “I don’t know shit about being a father. But I’m gone try my hardest to be the best I can be for you. I’m sorry for not being there for you and all the shit you going through right now, but I swear to God. Ain’t nobody gone have you from this day forward, like me and your momma, and that’s my word.” I nodded. He smiled, and I chuckled.

  “He just smiled at me,” I told Tejha. She hurriedly came to my side and stood behind me.

  “He was bigger than we expected with you only being six almost seven months,” the nurse came up and said.

  “Is that a good or a bad thing?” I asked.

  “It depends, but it could be a good thing. Means he was more developed and the shorter stay. It all depends on him, but we’re going to do our best. Have we come up with a name yet?” she asked; she had a stack of papers in our hands. I looked down at Tejha, and she smiled.

  “What you thinking?” I asked her.

  “I’m thinking Kato SaQuan Karter,” she stated. I nodded and smiled at her. The fact she knew how close me, and Q were let me know a lot about her.

  “That sound okay?” she asked me. I nodded.

  “Perfect,” I told her.

  When we got back to the room, I sat her in the bed, and she sat there staring at me. I sat my chair right next to the bed and sat down. She just sat there staring at me, and I ran my hands over my face. To see my son laid up in NICU had me so fucking hot, I could blow this fucking hospital up.

  “You’re going to be a great father,” she said.

  “You gone be an even better mother,” I told her.

  “We’re going to be great parents together,” she stated. I didn’t say shit, I just was in shock.

  “I’ma go call everybody and let them know what’s up.” I stood up.

  “Thank you, for finding me Kato,” she told me. I nodded and walked out. I called my mom, my pops, Geechi and Dreux. They all said they were on their way and I made my way back into her room. We sat there quietly, and she just was telling me how much she loved me and how she was thankful I found her. I told her I loved her too and
held her in my arms.

  For the next few hours, we sat in the room and after while she fell asleep again from the medicine they were giving her. She held my hand tightly as she slept, and I reclined that chair back watching tv while she slept. Only thing on my mind was fucking this nigga Fabian up fast and not fucking slow. He had me fucked up, got my girl and my son in the hospital hooked up to all kind of shit. I was so fucking angry with myself. I wasn’t going to sleep until I had that nigga’s head on a silver platter.

  “Excuse me, Mr. Karter. I believe some family is out here and they’re getting a little noisy,” one of the ladies came in the room and said. I let go of Tejha’s hand and walked out the room to the waiting room, and she wasn’t lying. My mom was snapping the fuck off.

  “Aye, what’s going on, ma you good?” I asked her.

  “I was until this crackhead looking motherfucker gone ask why you back there with your woman. You don’t get to say shit about my fucking son,” my mother spat toward him.

  “Like I fucking said. We all know the reason she laid up in the hospital, it ain’t no fucking secret who you is Khaos,” Montejha’s father spat.

  “You better watch it, I will fuck your cokehead ass up,” my mother spat.

  “Momma, it’s cool,” I told her, and grabbed her.

  “No, it’s not.” She stared up at me. I shook my head.

  “Ma, he’s right. But she good and the baby is in NICU,” I told everyone.

  “Oh, my lord,” Miss Monroe stated.

  “I’ma see if they’ll let us all come back. But we gotta all be respectful and mindful of Tejha ‘cause we not here for all the drama and bullshit. I will escort you out personally,” I told them. I heard a few motherfuckers mumble, but they heard what the fuck I said, and I meant that shit.

  As we walked back to the room, I stood in the background, watching everyone interact with Tejha. They had woken her back up, and she was drowsy as fuck. I was gone talk to the doctor about her pain medicine because she wasn’t about to be doped up while we were here ‘cause when left she wasn’t taking none of that shit. I walked out the room when my father made eye contact with me.

  “I got people looking for him right now,” my pops started. I shook my head.

  “Nah, after T fall asleep tonight I’ma go find that nigga myself,” I told him. He shook his head no.

  “You need to be here with your woman and son,” he stated.

  “I can’t sit here and look at my girl with her motherfucking eye fucking shut, I don’t know if these niggas raped her or not. I don’t even wanna ask her no shit like that, my son that I didn’t even know shit about is laying in NICU all because this nigga wanted to put his hands on my bitch, right?” I spat, and my pops looked at me.

  “At least stay put for Tejha until she gets out the hospital, we’ll find him and bring him to you,” my pops bargained.

  “If you leave her now, she’ll never forgive you,” he added. I nodded.

  “You right,” I told him.

  “I got you, Kato, I know how much she means to you, and that’s my grandson laying in there depending on a tube to feed him and help him breathe so trust me when I say I’m just as pissed off if not more. So, I’ma bring him to you, you got my word,” my pops told me, and I nodded. These next few days needed to fly by, I needed to get Tejha up and out this bitch because I had shit to handle.

  MONTEJHA | PIECING MYSELF BACK TOGETHER

  I had left the hospital two weeks ago, and I felt so good being out of there as a patient. But every morning I shower and throw on some clothes to sit with my son every day. I hold him, change him, and we’ve been trying to feed him to get him home. It was tough for me while I had my fresh stitches from my incision, but the painkillers helped me a lot. Maybe more than they needed to, but I was only human. My phone rang, and I answered it, putting it on speaker ‘cause I was doing my hair.

  “Hello,” I answered.

  “Wassup sis? I was seeing how long you were going to be up there with my baby today?” Yani asked.

  “Umm, all day. You know my visiting hours don’t end till eight. But depending on who works I can stay until I’m ready to go,” I told her.

  “Okay, make sure you eat breakfast, and I’ll bring you lunch after I finish this order.” Yani exhaled.

  “Okay, that’s cool. Sounds good, what you bringing me?” I asked.

  “I made some chicken and egg noodles with the veggies and some cornbread last night. Unless you want something else?” she asked.

  “That’s perfectly fine friend. Beggers can’t be choosers,” I told her.

  “Okay, I’ll hit you up when I’m on my way,” she said.

  “Okay, sounds good,” I told her, and we hung up. I finished up my hair put on my tights and a sweater. I slid on my tennis shoes and grabbed my purse heading to my car. I had bought a car seat and everything. I wanted a SUV and had been looking for one, but to get a new car, I needed to bring in some income. I wasn’t worried about it though. I had enough cushion in my savings to cover me not working for now and until I was ready to. I had gone to pay my rent up for a year, and the room across me was my son’s room. The day I got home from the hospital, Kato had taken all the extra shit I had in there and turned it into Kato’s room. He had everything he needed and a closet full of clothes, pampers, wipes. I was almost in tears at the gesture, and I thanked him. He told me I didn’t have to because he was always gonna take care of his son.

  By the time I got to the hospital, it was feeding time, and my stinky was eating okay. I did my usual singing him a song and relaxing with him. Reading him books and just talking to him. By the time it was three Yani came around the corner with my food in a big container and with a huge smile along with Dreux.

  “Awww, look at y’all. Hey auntie baby.” Yani smiled.

  “Hey, sis. What’s up nephew?” Dreux smiled.

  “Hey, how y’all been?” I asked.

  We all made small talk, and the nurse let me microwave my food and gave me a fork, so I could eat and talk with my family. It wasn’t long before visiting hours were over and they were heading out. It was time to give him a bath, so they helped me set everything up. I was glad to be able to bathe him now because at first, I was scared, I didn’t want to hurt him. But the nurse told me I was a natural and that I did a great job. My baby boy was even patient with me, he wasn’t crying much or anything. Just smiled at me when I was done. This time I bathed him and then wrapped him up, rocking him back to sleep.

  “I’m going to take all this stuff and change his sheets. I’m Tressa, his midnight shift nurse. I don’t think we’ve met before.” She smiled and shook my hand.

  “Hi. I’m Montejha,” I said.

  “Oh, you’re beautiful. Now I see why you have such a handsome boy, his dad is handsome, and his mom is beautiful. You’ve been blessed with good looks baby K.” She smiled and raised an eyebrow.

  “Thank you, you’ve seen his father?” I asked. Shit, Kato hasn’t been up here to my knowledge since we left the hospital. He and I weren’t really speaking much these days.

  “Oh honey, he comes up here every night. This little one is spoiled.” She smiled and walked off.

  I ended up rocking me and the baby to sleep, past visiting hours. I put him in his bed and gave him a million and two kisses before finally being able to leave. It’s always hard when I left and went home without my baby. That’s when my mind started to work overtime. That’s when I popped a few pills to help me zone the fuck out.

  When I got home, I pulled in my garage and got out after closing it. I got in the shower and washed my hair as well as handling my hygiene. When I got out, I wrapped my body in a towel and sat in front of my mirror. I put my slippers on and walked across the hallway to my babies’ room. I sat on his carpeted floor, and I felt myself slipping. I went in my room in search for my freshly filled bottle of pills. It was only when I looked up and heard my phone ringing that I caught a glimpse of how bad I looked in the mirror.

&nbs
p; “Hello,” I answered.

  “Hey, what you doing?” Yani asked.

  “Nothing.” I sniffled.

  “Are you crying, friend? What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “I, I just feel like shit. My baby has to stay in the hospital gain weight and learn how to drink a bottle with spitting it back up, and it’s all my fault,” I cracked.

  “I’m on my way.” She hung up.

  Not even ten minutes later, I answered the door, and she just hugged me. She had a pizza and a bag in her hand, and we just hugged for ages. I started balling my eyes out, and we were on the floor in the living room, and I was just letting it all pour out. I told her how I felt like this was all my fault and how Kato hated me. He had every reason to hate me because he tried to link up with me the night before everything happened and had I not been being a bitch shit would’ve been okay. Me and my baby would’ve been fine, but I had to be a stupid bitch. I felt bad that I got to leave that hospital while my son had to sit there and let strangers take care of him. What if he becomes more familiar with them than me? I let it all out, and she just listened.

  “And then to top it all off, I’ve been abusing my pain pills since I got them. I’m not even that much pain. But I take a few every night to help me go to sleep. Because I sit here and overthink everything,” I admitted, and Yani just stared at me. We sat there in silence for a second before she sat in front of me pretzel style grabbing both of my hands.

  “Well, firstly let me be the first to tell you, friend, that no mother is perfect. Shit, we didn’t have the perfect motherly role models in our lives, especially you so I think you’re doing a damned good job as a mother and don’t ever tell yourself differently. You can’t blame yourself, this isn’t your fault. Nobody told that man to kidnap you or hold you against your will or beat my got damn godchild out of you. It’s okay Montejha, you’re not perfect. I don’t know anybody who is perfect but what I can say is that you’re trying. You’re a good mom, and you try your best that’s all a child can ask for. But the fact that your woman enough to admit and talk to someone about how your feeling and how your abusing you pain meds lets me know how great of a person you are, and I couldn’t be more proud to call you my sister from another mister. We gone get through this tough time I promise you. Hey before you know it baby boy will be crawling up to you in the house, demanding bottles and falling asleep on your chest at home. We just want him to be a hundred percent ready to come home, we just have to take baby steps. You want everything to happen right now, but you have to be able to deal understand when God says wait. It’s going to be okay, we gone get through this friend I promise you. But first step you need to take is to forgive yourself and free yourself from your own thoughts,” she told me. I nodded and stood up walking to my room. I grabbed both bottles and went to the bathroom emptying them both. I flushed them, and I told myself over and over in my head, I didn’t need that shit. I had to be the best me, and those didn’t fit in the picture.