In My Feelings Over His Hood Love 2

by Khadijah J

  “I should slap the shit out of you, but I’ma keep my hands to myself.” Yani joked with her mouth full of pizza.

  “Bitch I know. But not anymore, what kind of pizza is that?” I asked.

  “Yo favorite, now let’s find something on Netflix.” She went and sat on my bed. I laughed and had fun with my best friend that night. She was right, it wasn’t my fault. But I just thank God I had someone to talk to everything about. I was so appreciative and forever grateful. I was on the road to recovery, mentally, physically and emotionally. I was going to be okay, I knew the man above wouldn’t put more on me than I can bear.

  KATO | WHAT’S MY MOTHERFUCKING NAME

  “And they lived happily ever after.” I sat the book I read my son down on the stand next to us. This was my routine every day, I combed through the streets until about eleven and made my way here until morning. I would go home shower and do it all over again. My son knew me, it was almost like he looked forward to seeing me because he would be wide awake looking at me. I was scared to hold his little ass when they first let me hold him, but the nurse walked me through it, and once he felt the skin to skin contact, he’s been daddy’s boy ever since, I don’t give a fuck what anybody say. I would turn my phone off, talk to my lil man, read to him and just tell him what all I had planned for him. He would just be looking at listening and smiling at me and that shit melted my heart.

  “When we get out of here, dad gone buy you big house and a backyard with your own playground. I’m looking for a huge house, you gone have your own room and shit. I’ma have to learn how to cook, or we can have your mom cook for us. Maybe we can do that, I’ll just tell her you said you was hungry, and we can come up with what you hungry for so dad can eat too.” I chuckled at the thought.

  “Or maybe, me and your mom can get back together. Maybe she’ll forgive me for not protecting y’all like I should’ve. Hopefully, she stops being so damn stubborn and hard-headed.” I laughed, and my son was sound asleep. I just sat there rocking him for a minute before sitting him in the crib and going to the bathroom. When I walked back outside, I saw my pops talking to my son. I knew something was up for him to be here.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “We found him,” he stated, cutting straight to the chase. I nodded and told my son I would be back tomorrow.

  “Alright, lil man. Daddy gotta go handle that business I told you about. I love you, and I’ll be by in the morning. Maybe I’ll run into your momma in the morning. Bring her mean ass some breakfast or something.” I chuckled.

  I quickly hopped in the truck with my pops, and he took me to where Fab was resting his head at. We watched him for an hour or so, and then he finally left. My father had a tracking device put on his car, this dumb ass was still driving the Bonneville, but that was cool. I’m on his like grass it was a wrap. My pops took me back to the crib, and I suited up.

  “Y’all niggas ready to take out the trash?” Zu asked.

  “You already know.” Ky cocked his gun back.

  “I been ready.” I took a pull from my blunt, and we stood to head out. We climbed in the black on black old school Chevy with no plates and headed to our destination. We waited till dark, and as soon as it did, we noticed this nigga was heading somewhere.

  “Follow him,” I instructed and pulled my skull cap over my head. As we followed this nigga for a good twenty minutes, he was headed to the hospital where my seed was at, and I was glad I caught this nigga right now otherwise I would’ve caught a body in the hospital. We pulled up at the light up the road from the hospital, and I rolled my window down airing his shit out. He tried to hurry up and drive off but ran into the building across the street, but I had them, niggas, pull in the alley ahead as I headed on foot to catch this nigga. Cocking my shit back I saw he had gotten out the car and was on the ground, screaming help. Staring down at him, I put my gun to his head and pushed his shit back for good.

  I got to the crib after disposing my shit, and I finally smiled. All this shit was over, and I could finally focus on getting my shit together for when my son came home. I needed to have a real conversation with Tejha, I didn’t want to ruin her life even more so maybe it was better off if we didn’t get back together. We had tried this shit over and over, and the shit don’t work, yeah, I love her to death, and I’ll probably never love another bitch like I love her but that don’t mean shit. I don’t know, I guess we’ll see.

  The next morning, I woke up and went to the hospital. After cutting my visit short with my lil man last night, I needed to go see him this morning, and maybe me and Tejha could have a conversation. When I got there, she wasn’t there, and that was a shock. I had brought her a buttabear and bagel from Biggby’s and everything. But that didn’t stop me from taking my shirt off and grabbing my baby boy to get ready to feed him and shit.

  “Wassup daddy soldier. What’s going on man, did you hold it down last night? What happened?” I asked him, ‘cause he was being fussy. I looked at his diaper, and he had shitted his life out.

  “Ahh, come on man. You know daddy usually gone in the morning. You supposed to save that for mama.” I stood to put him back down and change him. I grabbed his diaper and wipes and got him all clean. He was just staring up at me.

  “That’s better?” I asked. He smiled at me as I sat in the rocking chair and talked to him.

  “Your momma been up here yet.” I asked him.

  “Here’s his bottle. Sorry, I don’t usually see you here. It’s usually mom.” The nurse, Kathy, smiled at me. I peeped her checking a nigga out.

  “Oh, that’s cool. I’m his father, Kato,” I told her.

  “Kato and Kato, cute. Nice to meet you. I’m Kathy, and I’m his nurse until three. So, you need anything I’ll be here,” she said. I thanked her and sent her ass on her way.

  “Alright lil’ man, we gone eat this bottle today and you not gone spit this shit up alright?” I told him. He just looked at me. I got the burp rag and stuck the bottle in his mouth, his little jaws started going to town.

  “Damn boy, you hungry as hell,” I joked.

  “Hey, mommy’s stinky. I’m sorry I’m late, oh. Hey.” Montejha came around the corner looking good as fuck. She still the most beautiful woman in my eyes, she was all healed up and had on some jeans and Nike tight t-shirt with a zip up hoodie. Shirt was hugging her titties and them jeans was hugging them hips and that ass.

  “Wassup.” I licked my lips.

  “You tell me. You never have a shirt on. Every time I leave your daddy alone for a few days he don’t have no shirt on.” She leaned over and pecked lil Kato while he was eating.

  “This how I got you.” I smirked at her.

  “Don’t let your daddy fill your head up with lies son.” She giggled and sat across from me.

  “You looking good,” I told her.

  “Thank you.” She gave me a small smile. I took the bottle away and burped him, and he actually burped, minus the spit up.

  “What? Look at that, you want some more?” I fed him the rest of the bottle.

  “So, what’s been up? Haven’t seen you much?” Montejha crossed her thick ass legs.

  “Nothing, handling business you know how that go,” I told her.

  “Yeah, I know.” She nodded, and she shrugged.

  “You know, I apologize for everything. I really blame myself, I been like forcing myself on you since we got together and I’m realizing that’s probably why it’s not working out you know,” I started. She was staring at me, and that had a nigga nervous.

  “So, maybe we should. Um, maybe we should just co-parent. I don’t wanna hurt you any more than I already have. I let you and him down before, but I promise I’m gone be the best father I can be, and I’ll always be here for you as a co-parent, friend or whatever you need. But I just think right now we need to focus on ourselves and this little guy,” I told her honestly, and she nodded and smiled.

  “Couldn’t have said it any better.” Her voice cracked, and she cleared
her throat.

  “Now can I hold my son please, I’m sure he’s tired of being up under your sweaty self. Oh, come here momma baby.” She smiled and stared up at her. I could see the sadness in her eyes but looking at her grab up my son and smile as hard as she did when burping him, I felt something weird. But I feel like I was making the best decision for all three of us.

  MONTEJHA | BABY KATO COMES HOME

  “Thank you, guys, for everything, I swear I’m forever grateful.” I hugged the nursing staff that worked in NICU. I had ordered them pizza and even got them a cake to let them know I appreciated them and their patience they had with my baby and the other babies. I was so thankful, and I was happy as hell my son was coming home with mommy today. Well, mommy and daddy, Kato had strapped him in and everything. I got in the front seat, and we took off heading to my apartment. When we pulled up, there was an Audi Q7 sitting in my driveway on the side of my charger with a big purple bow on it. It was all black with black presidential tints. We pulled up, and I was confused as hell.

  “That is nice as hell,” I said.

  “I’m glad you like it. I figured you and my man back there would need more space, plus you deserve it.” He smirked at me and handed me the keys.

  “Wait what?” I jumped out the car and hit the locks on my truck. It lit up, and I was in shock.

  “Ohh, baby boy, let’s go for a ride,” I exclaimed and opened the back door to get him out, but Kato quickly stopped me.

  “Relax, I’ll grab him,” Kato snapped. I took a deep breath and just walked to my new whip. I got in and started it, waiting on Kato to strap the baby in, and five minutes later we were rolling down the street. I thought I was in love with my charger, but this bad boy was so smooth and luxurious.

  “Oh my God bae, I mean Kato. I love this thank you so much.” I smiled.

  “It’s nothing Tejha. You deserve it and more,” he said. ‘Yeah, you’re just not willing to give it to me.’ I thought as I pulled back in the house. We got in the house and got settled in, Kato showed our baby boy to his room and got him ready for bed while I showered. As I was getting dressed, Kato knocked and then just walked right in.

  “Excuse me,” I snapped.

  “My bad,” he said.

  “When you knock, you wait for someone to say come in, you don’t just barge in,” I snapped.

  “Damn, my fucking bad. Look, I’m about to head out. I’ll be back tomorrow,” he snapped and walked out.

  “Okay, I thought you were staying the night with him?” I asked, walking him to the door. He just stared at me up and down.

  “I was actually thinking maybe we can do, one week here and one week at my crib after I move and get settled.” He suggested. I quickly looked at him sideways.

  “Um, actually I don’t think that’s a good idea. He just got home from the hospital, and he needs to adapt to his home. He don’t need to be bouncing from house to house, how are we ever going to establish stability and security you know what I mean,” I said nicely, and he exhaled and looked at me.

  “We not about to do this bitter baby momma and daddy shit,” he started.

  “No, we’re not because who the fuck is bitter,” I snapped.

  “I’m up, we’ll talk about this tomorrow.” He walked out the door, and I shut the door, locking it. I ended up eating some ice cream, turning my baby monitor all the way up and staying up all night. What Kato said really bothered me, I wasn’t being bitter, I was just telling him I didn’t think that was a good idea. My auntie was coming to town for the weekend, and I couldn’t wait so I can get her input and wisdom on it.

  Last night I didn’t get much sleep, I was up on and off making sure he was still breathing and constantly making sure he was okay. I felt like I was losing my shit, but when I was finally about to doze off around three, he started crying. I quickly woke up, fed him, changed him and fell asleep with him on chest. The next morning, while he was sleeping, I hurriedly showered, left my hair all over my head because someone was ringing my doorbell down while he was still sleeping. I quickly threw on my robe and walked to the door. There stood my baby daddy on his phone and ringing the doorbell.

  “Can you call before you come to my house unannounced please and not ring my doorbell like you stupid while my son is sleep,” I spat and walked back in my room to get dressed. After throwing on some joggers and a crop top, I walked back out the room, and Kato was in the living room on his phone. I walked in the kitchen and warmed up my breakfast I made before I got in the shower. It was pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs with some grits. I was smashing my food when Kato walked up and stole a piece of bacon. I quickly popped his hand causing him to drop my bacon.

  “Damn that’s what we doing now?” he asked me, looking at me with low eyes.

  “Yup,” I told him, and he stared at me while I ate my food.

  “Can you find something else to look at please, it’s not nice to stare,” I snapped.

  “You like when I look at you stop playing,” he stated.

  “No, I don’t,” I argued.

  “Whatever, keep telling yourself that. But how you sleep?” he asked.

  “I didn’t. But it was mostly my fault, I was so anxious about him being here you know. I didn’t wanna oversleep and not hear him or something like that.” I exhaled.

  “Well how about you take a nap and let me take care of my little man,” he suggested.

  “Okay, but my auntie is coming to town so. Just wake me up when she gets here,” I told him.

  “You got it beautiful.” She smirked, and I stuck my middle finger up at him. I went in my bed and got nice and comfortable in my bed. Before I knew it, I was knocked the fuck out. When I woke up, I headed to the bathroom and handled my business. When I walked out, I went in the room to check on double trouble, and they were on the floor knocked the fuck out. Kato didn’t have a shirt on, and my lil man was in a pamper and socks knocked out on his daddy chest. I went to pick him up off of Kato, and this nigga sat up like he had been awake the entire time.

  “It’s just me, relax,” I told him.

  “Shit, you can’t be sneaking up on me like that,” he said sitting up as I took the baby and laid him in his bassinet. His little but was knocked out and I smiled down at him. Making sure his baby monitor was on and up I sat it on the dresser and walked back in my room to find Kato stretched out in my bed.

  “Umm, excuse me, sir.” I stood over him and tapped him.

  “Come on Tejha, I ain’t got no good sleep in a minute, just lay next to me for an hour that’s all I’m asking,” he pleaded.

  “Well, we’re not together, so you need to be able to,” I started but he snatched me down against his solid chest, and my damn heart melted.

  “Shut the fuck up and just relax,” he snapped. I went to get up, but he wasn’t letting me up, he had a death grip around my waist.

  “Kato, let me up,” I snapped.

  “Relax, come on. I know you ain’t got no good sleep without a nigga either. Just chill,” he said into my ear. That’s what I did, fell right to sleep in his arms like a dummy. I loved Kato so much, but when he told me he thought we should just focus on ourselves and co-parent, I couldn’t even formulate a sentence let alone express how I really felt. But I did need to work on myself, and that’s just what I planned on doing. If it was meant to be it would be, that’s just how life works.

  ~~~

  “So, how’s everything been?” my auntie asked.

  “Everything’s been okay you know. I’m adjusting and enjoying being a full-time mother now,” I told her.

  “How’s Kato adjusting,” she asked.

  “He’s doing alright I guess. He wants him to bounce back and forth between homes every other week, and I just think that’s not the best idea right now,” I told her. She nodded.

  “I agree, but maybe re-approach the topic when he’s at least six months or something like that.

  “I don’t know,” I said.

  “Well it’s hard to co-par
ent when the parents are still in love with each other,” she said.

  “What?” I said.

  “You heard me, girl. I have so much respect for that man because he was on a fucking witch hunt for you and his unborn. He did everything in his power to save you and find you two. He’s got my vote, I don’t want you dating no one else, and neither does my nephew.” She laughed.

  “Auntie, we’re done. He said we should just focus on ourselves and our little guy,” I told her.

  “And what did you say?” she asked.

  “I said I couldn’t agree more,” I admitted.

  “Well do you agree with him?” she asked.

  “Yeah, but I mean like, I love him so much, and I just thought that this would bring us closer together not push him away. He feels like he’s failed us as a man as a protector, but he hasn’t. He still found me, I couldn’t remember anyone’s number or anything, and they didn’t believe anything I said because I was delirious. But he still found us at the end of the day, and I’m almost positive he took care of the man who harmed us. So, I don’t understand how he could ever think that.” I frowned.

  “Did you tell him that?” she asked.