Out to Find Freedom

by Lila Rose

  He crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his chin Harriet’s way. “This bitch is only after one thing, a payday. She’s been hounding all of us at the firm for your address and number, sayin’ shit about missin’ you and wantin’ your friendship back. But we weren’t born fuckin’ yesterday. We never gave it because we’d heard all the damn TV stations have promised her big money if she got you in for an interview.”

  “That’s not true,” Harriet cried, standing next to me. She took my hand, but I quickly pulled it free.

  “Bullshit,” Ryan clipped. “Violet just rang, said she’d been in there this mornin’ and when a client came in bein’ a dick, Harriet disappeared, but the file drawer had been opened.” His eyes caught mine. “Usually it’s locked tight, but Violet had just been in it when this bitch made an appearance. Know it’s no excuse, but it won’t happen again. Violet’s fuckin’ fumin’. She’s in the process of takin’ all the case files into the lockdown room where no one can get to them without a goddamn security card and access number.”

  Why Violet had stopped Harriet’s visit made sense now.

  Anger had me facing Harriet and demanding, “Get out.”

  “What? No! You have to do this,” she snapped. “You owe me this. My world wouldn’t have been messed up if it wasn’t for you.”

  “I’m sorry?” I asked, appalled. “Are you telling me you were beaten, threatened, had people murdered in front of you just because you wanted to go home? Did you witness a girl younger than we had been back then being raped, drugged?” I yelled, my breath heavy. “Did your aunt slice at your skin over and over?” I waved my arm in her face. I took a deep breath to calm my erratic heart. “She did it all because her boyfriend stared at you like he was going to fuck you. Did that happen to you? Do I owe you for any of that? For being locked away for over two years of your life in a basement?” In the earlier days, I would have caved. I would have seen her misfortune, whatever it had been, as my fault. I would have done things I didn’t want to do to please her. But I wasn’t the same person any longer.

  I had love in my life. People who cared.

  I was strong.

  No one would bully me into something I didn’t want to do. No one could control me any longer.

  I had the strength to stand up for myself.

  Stepping into her, so her face was close to mine, I told her, “Get the fuck out before I sic Ryan on you.”

  Her eyes widened. She glanced over at Ryan, who I heard open the door. Harriet nodded, stepped back, and then walked around the coffee table. I watched her go and waited until she was out the door with Ryan closing it before I relaxed.

  Only the tension rolled back in and I started to pace while I ranted, “Can you believe her? I mean, really, the nerve. She hasn’t been through anything. She got to stay in her cosy little house with her parents. I owe her nothing. The greedy… greedy—”

  “Whore,” Ryan offered.

  I waved my hand at him. “Yes, that.” I stopped and faced him. Dread surfaced. “I don’t owe her, right? I mean, she could be upset about everything that went down. Especially with how Donny died. They were friends. She could blame me. And it is my fault.”

  Ryan stalked towards me. His hands cupped my face and drew my gaze to his. “It’s not your fuckin’ fault. What happened to the guy, to that neighbour, wasn’t your fault. It was on that cunt and motherfucker you lived with. It’s their fault. Their sick and twisted minds. You owe that bitch nothing. She’s a money-hungry slut who saw a quick way to earn some cash through you. Don’t let her get to you.”

  “Okay,” I whispered. His words were fierce, hard, and if it was anyone else, the tone would have me cringing in fear. Instead, I was trembling in need.

  His eyes widened from whatever he saw, his jaw clenched, and he told me, “We’re goin’ to my house for lunch. Pack a bag. You’re stayin’ the night.”

  It was lucky for him that his ordering me didn’t bother me. I stood up for myself when I needed to and didn’t like his tone. But right then, I wanted to go to Ryan’s house. I wanted to have lunch with him before he went back to work, and then that night, after he’d come home, I would also get what I wanted.

  Him. Naked. In bed with me.

  I could read he wanted me as much as I did. He held back for a reason that was no longer an issue—to give us time, to get used to us dating. He didn’t want to rush because what we had was something important to him. Tonight though, he’d have to understand I was over waiting.

  He was important to me, and I wanted to show him in every way I could.

  “Jesus, woman. Whatever you’re thinkin’, stop before I strip you bare and take you on the damn floor.”

  Bug-eyed, I asked, “How was I looking?” because I wanted to do it again.

  His arms slid around my waist and I wrapped mine around his shoulders. Ryan leaned down and nipped at my ear before saying, “Like you want to eat me for lunch.”

  “Is that an option?” I breathed.

  He stilled and then stepped away from me. “Bag. Now.”

  I couldn’t help but pout.

  He cursed. “Baby doll, we’ll talk about that over lunch.”

  “Sex,” I wanted to clarify.

  He groaned. “Yes,” he hissed.

  “As in when we’ll be having sex with each other,” I pushed.

  “Emerson,” he clipped.

  I bit my bottom lip to keep from smiling and walked past him with a new sway to my hips. It seemed Ryan’s resistance was crashing like mine had been for a while.

  I had a feeling I would definitely be getting some Ryan Warden tonight.

  All I had to do was get through lunch, watch him go back to work, and try and concentrate on my own jobs while I waited for him to get back from work.

  Maybe I could cook something special for the occasion. But what did one cook when they were going to lose their virginity?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  EMERSON

  O nce at Ryan’s house, he dropped my bag just inside the door before shutting it. I stood there for a moment, and like usual, my eyes drifted to the bottom of the stairs. I took a moment to feel the loss of Mrs Minna. Ryan gave it to me, like always. When I’d first started coming to his house, I wasn’t sure how I felt about knowing her body had laid on the floor, but time, reassurance, and kind words from Ryan helped.

  He stepped up behind me, his hands on my shoulders. He rubbed them down my arms. His lips met my neck before he moved off through the living room and then into the kitchen. He was giving me time. Only I didn’t need as much as I used to. Life had to go on. I couldn’t change the past. Instead, I had to live in the present.

  Turning, I kicked off my shoes beside Ryan’s and went into the kitchen. I gasped when I saw he had the table laid with a lunch made for two. There were candles, a tablecloth, two plates, containers full of different types of food and a bottle of wine. Though, I also caught the beer bottle for Ryan.

  Moving to him, I wound my arms around his waist. “This is beautiful.”

  He ran his hands up and down my back. “Glad you like it, baby doll.”

  I pulled my head back. Responding to the invite, Ryan leaned down and pressed his lips against mine quickly. “Let’s eat.”

  “Sounds good and smells good. Did you make it all?”

  With his hand to my lower back, he led me to the table and pulled out my chair. “It’s just cold chicken, darlin’. Some salads, bread, and cakes. Nothin’ hard.”

  I smiled, sitting and waited for him to sit across from me. “That didn’t answer my question.”

  Did my eyes deceive me? I was sure Ryan’s cheeks reddened a little. He grabbed his beer, twisted the cap off and before he took a gulp, he said, “Yeah, I made it.”

  He’d taken his time to prepare the meal for me. There were at least three different slices, and a cake. Happiness filled me; I felt giddy by it.

  If my dad had met Ryan, he would have loved him for me.

  “Thank you,�
�� I whispered, my voice thick with emotions.

  His eyes softened. “You’re welcome, baby doll.”

  As we ate, we spoke of Harriet, but I quickly steered it away. I didn’t want either of us to get back to work feeling furious. Yes, I hadn’t known her long at school, but I would never have picked her to be a user, a fake. I’d thought she honestly was happy and concerned for me, but it was an act to get something from me.

  “Emmie, you said not to think of it.” Ryan grinned.

  I rolled my eyes. “I can’t help it.”

  “I know… how about I take your mind off it?”

  My head tilted to the side in confusion. “I thought you had to go back to work?”

  “Got the afternoon off.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. You busy or can you take some time off as well?”

  I did have to finish a design… but alone time with Ryan was what I wanted. Alone time in bed with Ryan would be better. I couldn’t get the other night from my mind, the feel of him between my legs, how he made my body tremble in pleasure.

  “Emmie,” he called. His mouth twitched in humour. Could he read my mind?

  My face heated. “Yes, um, I can free up the afternoon. What did you have in mind?”

  He played with the beer bottle on the table while watching me. “Can’t stop thinkin’ about the other night.”

  Yes! I wasn’t the only one.

  “And?”

  His lips twitched again. “Come here, Emmie,” he ordered, his voice deeper than usual. I stood and walked around the table. Ryan scooted his chair back. Once I stood before him, he took my hands in his and gently tugged me forward. My legs opened, going on each side of his thighs as I straddled his lap. My dress tugged up, just covering my panties.

  Ryan placed his hands on my thighs and ran them up and down, ignoring my scars. I put my hands on his shoulders.

  “You enjoyed the other night, right?” he asked. I nodded. “You been wantin’ more though, haven’t you?”

  “Yes,” I whispered. My clit throbbed while my pulse ticked heavily at the side of my neck.

  “I wanna give my woman more, baby doll, but we know it’s your first time. You know it’s gonna hurt, right?”

  I nodded again. “But if it’s with you, my first time will still be something special.”

  “Fuck,” he clipped. He cupped the back of my neck and pulled me down. His lips hit mine. It wasn’t a soft, sweet kiss. It was demanding and hard. With a firm grip on my arse cheeks, he dragged me closer, making my pussy rub against his hardness. The contact sent a shiver throughout me, so I did it again and again.

  His lips travelled down my neck, and I arched back for him. He kissed and bit at my shoulder. There, he rumbled out, “Undo my jeans, baby doll.”

  My stomach swirled, and even though my hands trembled from nerves and excitement, I moved back a little and slid them between us. Ryan kept kissing and nipping at my skin as he ran the strap of my dress down from my shoulder.

  I undid his button and then slid his zipper down.

  “Take my cock out, darlin’.”

  Panting, I reached under his jeans and boxers and gripped his cock. I gently pulled him free and stared down at his dick. He was thick and long. Mesmerised, I ran my hand up and down his length.

  “Christ, baby doll. Love you touchin’ me.”

  “I love touching you.”

  His hips jutted up, revealing the tip of his cock, which leaked. “You want this inside you?”

  I nodded.

  “Words, Emmie.”

  Lifting my head, I met his dark gaze. “Yes. I want you inside of me. Be my first, Ryan.”

  He pulled my hand away from his dick and his eyes hardened. He cupped my jaw tightly. Leaning in to me, he stated, “First, last, and only, baby doll.”

  “Yes, Ryan.”

  “Good,” he grunted. A moment later, he stood with me in his arms. I let out a squeal from the sudden movement, but I wrapped around him close and held on as he took us through the living room, up the stairs, and into his bedroom. There he let my legs fall and my feet hit the floor. He tangled his fingers through my hair and bent, kissing me with so much passion and need it left me breathless.

  His fingers slid the other side of my sundress off my shoulder so he could kiss me there. The whole time I gripped his tee at his waist. Nerves had my heart galloping when I felt his finger at the zipper on the back of my dress. Air whooshed out of me as he eased it down.

  He stepped back and the dress fell to the floor, leaving me in panties since I hadn’t worn a bra with the dress.

  “Fuck,” he bit out. His dick jerked as his eyes ate me up. “Goddamn beautiful, baby doll.”

  Before his words, I wanted to cover myself, feeling self-conscious. After them, I placed my thumbs into each side of my panties and dragged them down my legs. Ryan sucked in a sharp breath when I straightened before him. The next moment, he lifted his tee from his body and threw it to the floor. He pulled off his socks hurriedly and went for his jeans, but I said, “C-can I take them off you?”

  His hands dropped to his sides. “You can do anythin’, darlin’.”

  With a soft smile, I stepped up to him, met his eyes, and kissed his chest before I took hold of his jeans and boxers and pulled them down slowly. His dick jerked again when I bent down to help him step out of them. I stood and took all of him in.

  Amazing.

  “You’re so handsome,” I told him.

  “Glad you think so, baby doll.” He curled an arm around my waist and drew me into his space. My chest hit his. We both made a noise in the backs of our throats. “Gotta get you ready for me, darlin’.”

  “Okay,” I whispered. His hand travelled to cup my mound. Instinctively, my hips jerked forward, liking his touch.

  His finger glided up and down my slit. “Christ, you’re already wet.”

  “For you.”

  “Fuckin’ love it.” He kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on. “Spread a little,” he said against my lips before claiming my mouth once again. I stepped out, opening up for him as he eased a finger inside of me. I whimpered into his mouth; he growled back in response. Another finger joined the first and my knees shook. I tightened my hold on him and he held me securely to his side with his other arm around my waist.

  A third finger dipped in. “So fuckin’ tight. So good.” The heel of his hand brushed against my clit, and a moan escaped from my lips onto his.

  But then his fingers disappeared. He picked me up and took the few steps to the bed to lay me on it with him hovering over me. My poor heart was in a tizzy while my body ached with need. I wanted him in me.

  Ryan leaned away and got to his knees. He grabbed each of my legs and ran his hands up and down them. I shivered. He lifted one leg higher and kissed my calf before he did the same to the other. Next, he spread my thighs wide to fit his form between them.

  “Glistenin’,” he said roughly, staring down at my pussy. “Should’ve mentioned earlier, but I’m clean, baby doll. Need to know, are you on the pill? Wanna go bareback with my woman, but if you’re not protected against gettin’ pregnant, I’ll cover it.”

  My cheeks were on fire, but I managed to answer, “I’m good. On the pill.”

  Satisfaction made his smile a big one. “Perfect,” he growled. He leaned forward. One hand went to the bed by my waist, the other he used to spread my labia apart. He pressed a finger against my clit and my hips jerked up. I bit my bottom lip and breathed heavily through my nose.

  He glided his finger lower and circled my entrance. “You wanna take me in here?”

  I nodded. His hand fell away and he climbed up my body. A hand landed beside my head. His other I felt between us. I lifted my head to see him stroking himself. His tip kept hitting my clit and a needy little growl fell from my lips.

  “All right, baby girl. You’ll get me.” The tip of his cock slipped down easily through my excitement and stopped just outside of me. “
Hold on to me, darlin’.”

  Nerves fluttered through my belly, but I eagerly wrapped my hands around his upper arms, as much as I could anyway. Ryan pushed in a little and I gasped. The sense of being filled hit me, and when he pushed in a little more, my breath was taken again.

  He stopped, and I glanced up at him. His jaw clenched and sweat formed on his forehead. I lifted my hips a little in invitation, which was all he needed. With a swift thrust forward, he embedded inside of me. I cried out, tears forming in my eyes, my pussy throbbing from the harsh sting.

  Ryan didn’t move. He breathed deeply but didn’t move. “You okay, baby?”

  “Just, um, give me a second.”

  He leaned down and I winced a little. But when he started kissing me, I forgot about the pain. I lifted my legs, planted my feet to the bed and hugged his waist with my thighs. Ryan groaned, and a pleased smile appeared on my lips as he trailed kisses along my jaw, to my neck and shoulder. I wanted to hear his groan again, but when his hand rounded my breast and gently caressed it, I got lost in the moment and rocked my hips up. It was then he sucked in a sharp breath. It told me he liked my action. So I did it again. I was rewarded with a grunted curse before he slammed his lips back to mine.

  “Ryan,” I said against them. I felt I needed more.

  He read it and said, “Gonna move inside you, baby doll.”

  “Please,” I whispered.

  Slowly, he pulled back, rolling his hips around gently. It stung a little, but when he pressed down on my clit, rubbing up and down, while pushing back in, the sensation changed.

  “Ryan,” I cried. My thighs squeezed him tighter as he ground down into me, moving his finger and using his body to press in the right place. Wide-eyed, I gasped when my lower stomach tingled. “Ryan,” I breathed.

  “Yeah, baby doll.” His thrusts picked up, in and out of me, then grinding down on me faster and harder. His hand around my breast, his grip harder than usual, he dipped his head and sucked a nipple into his mouth.

  “Yes,” I cried. My walls clenched around his cock as it pushed in and out of me. “Ryan. God, Ryan.”