False Colours

by Georgette Heyer

  ‘You didn’t see him! I hoped that that business at least had been settled.’

  ‘I couldn’t. I found he was visiting the Regent. That was a facer to start with! I’ve never exchanged more than half-a-dozen words with the Regent in my life, and that was at the levée my father dragged us both to at our come-out! Well, is it likely I should be acquainted with him? He’s old enough to be my father, and Papa never was one of his set. I hadn’t thought it would be difficult to get my name sent in to Silverdale, but it was dashed difficult – particularly when I took out my card-case, and found it empty! I shouldn’t wonder at it if they thought I was an imposter, at the door! In any event, they said that his lordship had gone into the country that day. I don’t know if it was true, or not, but there was no arguing the point, so I desired them, with haughty composure (though not by half as haughty as theirs!), to inform his lordship that I was sorry to have found him absent, but should hope to have the good fortune to see him when I returned to Brighton, within a sennight or so. I couldn’t remain in Brighton, you see, because I wanted to visit Clara before returning to London, and I was a trifle pressed for time. Which reminds me, Kester! Send Fimber down to me tomorrow, will you? I want some clothes to wear, my snuff, and some visiting-cards! He can help me to dress, too.’

  ‘I’ll do that, but you won’t need your cards, and you won’t need Challow. You’re not going to Brighton, so don’t think it! For one thing, we can’t have two Denvilles at large – and one of them with his arm in a sling! For another, you’re in no case to be jauntering about. I’ll go, if you’ll tell me exactly what you want me to say to Silverdale, and how I’m to redeem the brooch. If it’s by a draft on the Bank, can you write it?’

  ‘I should think I might be able to, but it isn’t. By rag-money, because I am acting on Mama’s behalf, and it is she who is to redeem the brooch. I’ve got a roll of soft in my nightbag, and Fimber can bring it to you tomorrow. Kester, will you do it for me? I ought not to permit you to, but by now Brighton is probably as full as it can hold of people who know us, and I do see that it won’t do for me to be in two places at once – and in one of them with a broken shoulder! That’s the sort of thing that always gets to be known! And I daresay,’ he added, in a thoughtful tone, ‘that you know much better than I do how to force your way into royal residences!’

  ‘One of my chief duties!’ agreed Kit. ‘Sit down again while I put on some clothes, and I’ll go with you to Pinny’s cottage, and put you to bed. You can give me your roll of soft, too.’

  ‘You’d much better go to bed yourself,’ said Evelyn, sitting down on the arm of the chair. ‘I can manage very well, you know. But I’d liefer be undressed by you than Pinny – and we’ve the devil of a lot to discuss still!’

  ‘We aren’t going to discuss anything tonight,’ said Kit, tossing his dressing-gown on to the bed. ‘Too late – and you’re worn to a bone, Eve!’

  ‘Oh, no! Just a trifle out of curl still, that’s all! Shall I go and wake Mama up?’

  ‘No, don’t! You’d stay talking to her till daylight. I’ll tell her first thing, and I should think she’ll be at Pinny’s a good hour before breakfast!’

  ‘No, no Kester! Mama don’t leave her room until an hour after breakfast!’

  ‘She does when we have our Aunt Emma staying with us!’ replied Kit, grinning, as he stepped into a pair of breeches. ‘My aunt is an early riser! Did Pinny tell you that we are enjoying the rare felicity of entertaining her, and my uncle, and our beloved cousin?’

  ‘She did! Also that Ripple is one of the party! What the devil do you mean by inviting that bag-pudding to Ravenhurst?’ demanded Evelyn.

  ‘I didn’t: it was Mama’s doing – but I’ve no objection. He’s not such a bag-pudding as we were used to think, you know. He and Cressy are the only ones – other than Fimber and Challow, of course – who have yet found me out! You must teach me your way of opening a snuff-box, Eve! I made a mull of that – and the snuff in it was dry!’

  ‘Oh, shame!’ Evelyn exclaimed. He produced his snuff-box from his pocket, and flicked it open. ‘Thus!’

  ‘Oh, very deedy!’ said Kit approvingly. ‘Lefthanded, too!’

  ‘Good God, twin, I never use my right hand!’ Evelyn said, shocked.

  Kit chuckled, but said, as he knotted a handkerchief round his neck: ‘Why do you hold the old fellow in such dislike? I know we were used to think him a bobbing-block, but there’s no harm in him that I can discover; and you must own that he’s good-natured!’

  ‘He makes Mama ridiculous!’ Evelyn said resentfully.

  ‘Oh, I don’t know that! He may be barrel-bellied, but he’s a tremendous swell! When you think of the position he’s held ever since I can remember, and his wealth, which I understand to be staggering, it’s more of a triumph for Mama, to have kept him tied to her apron-strings all these years!’ said Kit cheerfully. ‘I’ll tell you this, Eve! I’d liefer by far have him dangling after her than one or two of the other insinuating court cards I saw in Mount Street! That fellow, Louth, for one! If ever I saw a loose-screw – ! I’d have given something to have tipped him a settler!’

  Evelyn said quickly: ‘Yes, so would I, but there’s nothing in it, Kester! There has never been anything since we were children, when she was so lonely, and unhappy – she told me herself, begging me not to judge her harshly! I judge her harshly – !’

  Kit looked across at him, a question in his eyes. ‘Matlock?’

  ‘Yes. Didn’t you know?’

  Kit shook his head. ‘No. That is, I’ve sometimes wondered, looking back, and remembering things that happened then. Poor little Mama! How should either of us judge her, who have had all her love? Did my uncle know?’

  ‘Can you doubt it?’ said Evelyn savagely.

  ‘I suppose not. Well, that settles it! Whatever else we may do to bring her about, we will not approach him in the matter!’

  ‘I should rather think not! But, Kester –’ He broke off, looking at Kit with a remorseful gleam in his eyes. ‘I wish I hadn’t told you that! I can’t think how I came to do so, except that I didn’t recollect that you’ve been away since we came down from Oxford. It doesn’t seem like that, does it? I wish you will forget I told you: you may, you know!’ The remorse faded, his irrepressible smile leaping into his eyes. ‘She has done so! Of course, if anything were to happen to recall it to her mind, she would remember, but not otherwise! For, after all, dearest,’ he continued, in exact and loving imitation of his wayward parent, ‘it happened a very long time ago, and crying over spilt milk is such a melancholy thing to do!’

  Sixteen

  Lady Denville did not, after all, visit her prodigal son before breakfast, being strongly urged by Kit not to do so, on the grounds that she would in all probability wake him from a deep sleep, induced partly by exhaustion, and partly by a posset brewed by Nurse Pinner from some recipe known only to herself.

  Kit had visited his mama while she was still attired in her filmy dressing-gown. The stately Miss Rimpton was deftly arranging her burnished locks à la Tite, and although she might be said, by the slight curtsy she dropped him, to have acknowledged the right of my lady’s son to intrude upon his mama’s toilet, her face remained set in lines of austere disapproval. Lady Denville might welcome his supposed lordship with cordiality, but in Miss Rimpton’s opinion no gentleman, however nearly related, should be permitted to set eyes on her until she had passed out of her dresser’s expert hands. She said repressively: ‘One moment, my lady, if you please!’ and went on pinning up her mistress’s hair in an unhurried way which was designed to put Kit in his place. It succeeded very well, since when she presently withdrew, having desired her ladyship to ring the bell when she should be ready to receive her further services, he exclaimed: ‘You know, that woman frightens me to death, Mama!’

  ‘Yes, isn’t she odious?’ agreed Lady Denvil
le. ‘But a positive genius! What is it you want, dearest? Don’t tell me something dreadful has happened!’

  ‘Not a bit of it!’ he replied, quizzing her. ‘Can’t you guess?’

  ‘No, wicked one! How should I – Kit! You don’t mean – Oh, is it Evelyn?’ She flew up out of her chair, as he nodded. ‘Oh, thank God! Where is he? When did he arrive?’

  ‘Last night, after we had all gone to bed. He let himself in with Pinny’s key. He wanted to come and wake you, but I wouldn’t allow him to do so.’

  ‘Oh, Kit, how could you? You must have known I should have been only too glad to have been awakened!’

  ‘Yes, love, I did, but I also knew that if he did wake you it would be hours before I could drag him off to bed! Which I was determined to do, because he’s not in very plump currant yet. Nothing to alarm you! – He overturned his phaeton, broke his shoulder and a couple of ribs, and seems to have suffered a pretty severe concussion.’

  ‘Oh, my poor, poor darling!’ she cried. ‘Where is he? Tell me instantly, Kit!’

  ‘He’s with Pinny. I went back with him there in the small hours, to help him to undress, and I promise you she’s taking good care of him!’

  ‘Yes, yes, of course she is, but I must go to him at once! Ring the bell for Rimpton, dearest! You must make my excuses to your aunt – say I have the headache, and am still in bed! Yes, and the quails! Dawlish procured them from Brighton, because Bonamy particularly likes them, but so does Evelyn, and perhaps he might be tempted to eat them, even if he fancies nothing else. So tell Dawlish to put two of them in a basket, with some asparagus, and –’

  But at this point Kit intervened, representing to her very kindly, but with considerable firmness, firstly, that Evelyn’s presence must remain a secret; secondly, that any such order would inevitably lead to his discovery; thirdly, that this difficulty would not be overcome by telling Dawlish that the quails and the asparagus were for Nurse Pinner’s consumption; and fourthly, that he had been strictly enjoined by Nurse not to let anyone disturb Evelyn until he had had his sleep out. ‘So sit down again, Mama, and let me tell you what happened to Evelyn!’ he said. ‘You will be able to stay with him much longer, if you go down after breakfast, for you can tell my aunt that you are obliged to visit Pinny, because she’s out of sorts, and no one will think it in the least odd of you. Besides, if I know Evelyn, he’ll want to be shaved before he receives visitors! I sent Fimber down to the cottage, with some of his gear, an hour ago, so with both Pinny and Fimber to cosset and scold him you may be very sure he won’t be neglected!’

  ‘He will need me to protect him!’ she said, laughing.

  However, she did sit down again; and Kit embarked on the task of recounting a slightly expurgated version of his twin’s adventures. ‘For you’ll do it much better than I could, Kester!’ had said Evelyn coaxingly.

  This confidence was not misplaced. Mr Fancot, bred to diplomacy, omitted all reference to Tunbridge Wells; slid gracefully over the peculiar behaviour of his twin in having shaken off his devoted groom; and managed to make Lady Denville so impatient to learn the exact circumstances of the accident that it never occurred to her to wonder what could have induced Evelyn to have chosen so roundabout a way to London in preference to the direct pike-road which he could have rejoined, after his visit to John-Coachman, merely by retracing his route for a couple of miles to Nutley. Long before Kit ventured to introduce Miss Patience into his recital, her ladyship was so brimful of gratitude to Mrs Askham for the tender care she had lavished upon Evelyn that it seemed doubtful whether she would be able to restrain her impulsive desire to have herself driven to Woodland House before she had even set eyes on Evelyn. ‘How can I wait to thank her?’ she demanded, tears sparkling in her eyes. ‘How can I ever repay her? Oh, she must be the noblest creature alive! But for her he might have died, Kit!’

  While he did not share this extreme view of the case, Kit was very ready to encourage it, and to slip in a word or two designed to imbue Lady Denville with the conviction that in Mr Askham she would discover a gentleman of culture, and respectable ancestry. She said she had no doubt at all that he and his wife were excellent persons.

  She was not in the least surprised to learn that Evelyn had forgotten to assure himself that his card-case did, in fact, contain some cards: it was just the sort of mischance, she said, that might be depended upon to overtake one at precisely the wrong moment; and she found nothing to wonder at in Evelyn’s having asserted that his name was Evelyn, rather than Denville. ‘For, you know, dearest, a great many people do call him Evelyn! I think, perhaps, it is because he is that kind of man, and so very unlike your father, whom no one ever addressed as William! Do you recall that before Papa died it was only the merest acquaintances who called Evelyn Martinhoe? But, oh, Kit, if only the Askhams had known that he was Denville! They must have sent a message instantly, and you need never have pretended you were Denville, for no one could have expected Evelyn to attend a dinner-party when he was out of his senses! Oh, dear, Kit, I meant it for the best, but only think what has come of it! Try as I will, I cannot feel the least degree of certainty that Cressy won’t recognize the difference between you! Even if I could hit upon a way of accounting for his suddenly being obliged to keep his arm in a sling! So, instead of rescuing him, I have very likely ruined him!’

  Courageously facing the worst of his task, Mr Fancot said: ‘No, Mama, you haven’t. I was about to tell you that he no longer wishes to marry Cressy. The fact is –’

  She interrupted him, demanding in a voice of deep foreboding: ‘Who is it?’

  ‘It’s Miss Askham, Mama. Evelyn has fallen tail over top in love with her, and it’s she he means to marry, I shall leave it to him to tell you about her, but she seems to be a – a most unexceptionable girl!’

  ‘Oh, no, Kit!’ she uttered imploringly. ‘When he has already offered for Cressy! Dear one, don’t, I beg of you, imagine that I mean to pinch at him, for no one knows better than I do that it is impossible to find a fault in either of you – indeed, I have always been so very sorry for other parents whose sons are so sadly inferior to mine! – but I cannot but think it a pity that Evelyn should fall in love quite so often, and nearly always with such ineligible girls!’

  ‘Yes, Mama,’ he agreed, regarding her in affectionate amusement. ‘But consider how impossible it would be to find a girl in any way worthy of either of us!’

  ‘Now you are being absurd!’ said her ladyship, with great dignity.

  He laughed. ‘No, how can you say so? In all seriousness, love, I have a strong notion that this is a very different affair from all Evelyn’s former fits of gallantry. I do believe that he has formed a lasting attachment, and so, I think, will you, when you have talked to him. From what he told me, Miss Askham is wholly unlike any other of his flirts – and, I should have supposed, lacking in the qualities which he has hitherto found so captivating. He told me that she was neither dashing nor full of wit, but that the mere thought that he might grow bored with her seemed to him fantastic! Well, Mama, my own taste is – is for a girl of a different cut, but it flashed across my mind, as I listened to Evelyn, that perhaps Miss Askham may be the very thing for him. I’ll say no more on that head, but leave you to judge for yourself. As for her eligibility from the worldly standpoint – no! It must be thought an unequal marriage, though I collect that Evelyn would have no reason to blush either for Miss Askham, or for her family. They are not persons of consequence, nor are they affluent, but they seem to be of unquestionable gentility.’

  Lady Denville had been listening intently to this, a look of doubt on her face, and she now said anxiously: ‘Kit, you don’t think that they did know who Evelyn was, and – and drew him in?’

  ‘No, I don’t, Mama,’ he said decidedly. ‘I own, that was my first thought, but if that was their intention they went a mightly queer way to work to bring it about! Mrs Askham never perm
itted her daughter to be alone with Evelyn from the moment that he recovered his senses; and it seems that Askham is no more in favour of the match than – than my Uncle Henry will be! Evelyn made a pretty clean breast of the whole business to him; and while he didn’t forbid Evelyn ever to cross the threshold again, he did forbid him to make any attempt to fix his interest with Miss Askham while his affairs are in such a tangled state.’

  ‘Ah, that gives me a very good opinion of him!’ said her ladyship quickly. ‘I shouldn’t like it at all if Evelyn wished to marry too far beneath him, but I don’t give a straw for consequence! As for your Uncle Henry, it has nothing whatsoever to do with him, and so I shall tell him, if he has the impertinence to object to a marriage which has my approval! The only thing is –’ She paused, hesitating for a moment, her brow puckered. Then she directed an inquiring, not entirely unhopeful look at Kit, and said tentatively: ‘Dearest, do you think perhaps you would like to marry Cressy? I can’t but feel that one of you ought to do so, when I reflect on the excessively awkward situation she has been placed in, poor child!’ She added hastily, as Kit fell into uncontrollable laughter: ‘Not that I wish to press you! Only that the thought has frequently crossed my mind that you and she would deal admirably together!’

  ‘That thought has crossed our minds, too, Mama!’ he replied unsteadily. ‘I should like to marry Cressy, and, since she feels she might like to marry me, it is precisely what I hope to do, and what I was just about to divulge to you!’

  ‘Then Cressy knows already! Oh, wicked one, wicked one not to have told me!’ cried her ladyship, her countenance transformed. ‘Dearest, nothing could delight me more! She is the very girl I would have chosen for you, if I hadn’t already chosen her for Evelyn, which was a very foolish mistake, but not, thank goodness, one that can’t be remedied! I knew something would happen to bring us about! Oh, my darling Kit, I wish you so very happy!’