Varnished without a Trace

by Misty Simon

  “What’s the deal with letting Hoagie’s kids think he’s dead? Why haven’t you told them it’s a fake?”

  He rubbed his forehead. “You are just full of questions.”

  “I’d rather be full of answers, but you have more than I do, and you’re not sharing. I almost flubbed that story this afternoon when I went to see Caitlin and she told me that she had an outfit all picked out for dear old dad.”

  “I never told Caitlin her dad was dead. She didn’t bring it up to me at all. That could mean that she is part of bringing up the corpse and thinks she snowed us all. Or it could mean that she really has no clue. I honestly don’t know which theory to go with anymore.”

  “I don’t know any more than you do. I have plans to see if I can get with Carl or Calvin soon to see what their views are on the whole thing. Right now, I have one sister who’s fine with not inheriting and one that is angry enough to spit and blaming Nathan. I think she might just be jealous that Nathan and Jenna are going to inherit everything and Hoagie’s kids get nothing.”

  “But they can’t inherit at all if we don’t find Hoagie.”

  I bit my lip. “Good point. So, do you think Caitlin is pretending Hoagie is dead so that the will can be read and they can all move forward? But what does she get out of it? Unless somehow she’ll get a kickback from the store? But then that would implicate Nathan, wouldn’t it? And he was at the register when the sprinklers went off right before the Hoagie double was found.”

  “That’s also a possibility. And that’s part of the issue. Too many damn possibilities. We need to narrow them down.”

  “You’re avoiding my question. Why aren’t you telling those kids that their dad isn’t dead and in my basement?” I crossed my arms and sat back against the booth. Max stayed with his hands folded on the table, just taking in our conversation like a ping-pong match.

  “Can I insert something here?” he finally asked.

  Burton and I both looked at him.

  “Sure,” I said, just as Burton said, “Why not?”

  I rolled my eyes and waited for Max to speak.

  “So, you have a dead woman, an already dead guy and a missing widow and a missing husband to the dead woman.”

  I nodded.

  “Do you think it could be some kind of conspiracy for Hoagie to run away with the widow? Maybe they orchestrated this, and now they’re going to ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after?”

  I gave it some consideration. Burton appeared to do the same thing.

  “But why would they make such a big production of it, and why that close to home?” Burton asked. “They could have killed Ronda somewhere other than the firehouse steps, or made it look like an accident in the hardware store. Like tip a whole shelf of paint on her head, or have her get cut by a runaway chainsaw. Why outside bingo on Christmas Eve with a can from Hoagie’s store?”

  Max shrugged. “I have no idea. I just feel like everything is connected in some way that we’re just not seeing. Are there any new people in town who aren’t accounted for?”

  “There’re too many relatives in town for me to know that for sure, and with this firebug thing, I’m out looking at everyone I know and don’t know. We might be a small town, but I don’t know everyone on a first-name basis.”

  When the waitress came by to refill our drinks, we stopped talking again. I had time to think and came up with an idea Burton was going to hate, but I had to throw it out there anyway.

  “I think we should ask your dad about Hoagie first, and then see where the rest of it falls into place after that.”

  As I knew would happen, Burton blanched and put down his glass of soda without taking a drink. “I’ll look in the police archives and also my dad’s journals. If he really asked that of your grandfather, there should be some kind of information or paperwork detailing what happened and why. My dad was incredibly thorough back in his day,”

  He was still incredibly thorough to my knowledge, but he lived in a home now. And he and Burton hadn’t spoken in years because Burton had put him there when it became obvious he could no longer take care of himself. Sherman had been called out a number of times for fires in the old man’s house, and the older Burton had fallen four times before the younger one had finally had to make the decision to move him from the house his family had owned for generations.

  I hadn’t been around for that because I’d been up on the hill, married to Waldo, but even I had heard about the fight that had lasted days and involved much throwing of breakable things. My gaze zeroed in on Burton’s eyebrow, where a scar stood out white. His father had struck him with the urn his mother had been put in after her death. It was not something anyone talked about anymore. I didn’t want to bring it up now, but I felt it was absolutely imperative that we talk to Burton Senior, and as soon as possible.

  I willed Max not to ask any questions because he didn’t know the situation. I didn’t want him to step into a quagmire when things were actually going pretty well up until this point.

  It was time for me to take one for the team. “I’ll go talk to your dad. I can tell him that I’m doing genealogy work and need to know the truth about Hoagie. He might not buy it, but then again, he might, and I think that’s a chance we have to take.”

  The stoicism on Burton’s face made my heart hurt, but we had to get the information. And if I took on this task, I’d save Burton the trouble, as well as freeing up his time to look into other things, like who this widow was and if there was indeed a conspiracy of the lovey-dovey kind.

  “Fine. Fine, talk to him, but if you’re smart, you won’t mention me at all. He still throws things when it comes to hearing my name, and he’s not going to want to have anything to do with helping me. He and your grandfather used to be best friends, so that should be enough to get you in the door, at least.”

  “Understood. It’s late now, so I’ll talk with him tomorrow and let you know if I find out anything.”

  He shoved the last piece of his sandwich in his mouth, then wiped his mouth with the paper napkin at his elbow. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  He rose from the table and walked out without looking at anyone, even those who waved to him.

  “Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Burton like that.” Max looked around for the waitress, who came right over. “We’ll just get the check and then head out. I think he forgot to pay.”

  “Nah, he has a tab and told me I’m supposed to put your chocolate milk and pie on there too, Tallie.”

  “Dang, if I’d known he was paying, I would have ordered one of everything.” Marcy Graybill laughed and took the dishes away. “We don’t want her talking, and laughter is a good distraction,” I said to Max.

  “I never question your methods.”

  “You might question this next move,” I said as I scooted out of the booth with determination singing in my veins and curiosity burning up my brain.

  * * *

  “Where’s Grams?”

  “Sweetie, it’s so nice to see you again. I thought you’d be sick of us by now.” Mom stood in the doorway of their house, wrapped in her robe. It was late, and I knew I was coming around past Jeopardy! so I risked waking up everyone. But I needed to talk with Grams, and my mom, too.

  “I love you, Mom, and I think it’s going to be many years before I get sick of you.” The thought of Burton and his father’s relationship made me step forward and give her a big hug that she returned without a second’s hesitation.

  “Come on in. I’ll go get her. I warn you, I think she has her face cream on, so don’t say anything about the green.”

  “I learned my lesson about that when I was six.” I’d asked her if she was an alien, and she’d yelled at me until I crumpled on the floor. Of course at that age, that was about two words’ time, but still. I hadn’t known any better, and she’d always scared me after that. But I needed something now and she might have it. Time to wade in. I’d survived dinner. I’d survive this too.


  Mom left us in the kitchen, where I grabbed the snowman cookie jar from the top of the refrigerator. This would require sugary reinforcement. If I’d had a latte, I’d have been even happier, but I’d probably also still be up four hours from now and it was already almost nine-thirty.

  I was going to have all kinds of holiday weight to get rid of when the calendar flipped to January. I’d eaten more in the last few days than I’d eaten in the last month or so.

  I heard Grams grumbling before I saw her and knew that I might need to throw Max in front of me to defuse her before I asked her anything.

  “What is it that you want, young lady?” Sure enough, her whole face was green and her hair was up in curlers. I didn’t know how she slept like that. I’d tried when I was in elementary school and had the worst headache when I woke up and decided curls would never be worth that again.

  “You know more than you said earlier about this Hoagie thing.”

  She narrowed her eyes at me. “I told you everything I know, and it’s not much.” Her eyes shifted to the left and then the right.

  “So you say, but I don’t believe it.”

  My mom cleared her throat. “She just said she told you everything, dear. It’s late and you’re being rude. What are you getting at?”

  “I listened to a podcast the other day about being able to spot liars, and the shifty-eye thing is all too real. Grams knows more than she’s saying. I’m just here for her to tell me the rest, because I think it has a lot to do with what is going on.”

  Mom gasped. “You have got to be kidding me.”

  Grams grunted, then stuck her hands on her hips.

  “No, I’m not. Eye rolling like she just did doesn’t count, but looking to the left is a sure sign of lying. So cough it up, Grams.” Apparently, I was going all out on throwing all caution to the wind. Maybe it wouldn’t backfire on me, but I had a feeling I knew exactly what she was going to do.

  And then she did. She snorted at me, turned on her heel and walked away.

  “You know there’s a woman dead and a man missing. If you have anything about why this might be happening and you don’t share it, you could be considered an accessory to murder. Unless you’re the one who hit her on the head?” I called after her.

  Even though I was doing my own lying on that last part, it still got her to turn around.

  She stomped back and clenched her hand in the robe fabric at her throat. “You go too far. I like Max, so I’m not going to say what’s on my mind, but I’ll have you know you are not going to threaten me.”

  She’d called my bluff, and I deflated. “I’m sorry.” I rubbed my forehead. “I just want to find out what happened, and I feel like you know more than you’ve shared.” I swallowed. “I don’t want anyone else to die. What if whoever killed Ronda knows the secret and is going after anyone else who knows? What if you’re next?” I dropped my head along with my gaze and looked at my shoes. I needed some new tennies. These were getting worn out and because I could afford them now, I should think about going shopping.

  She scoffed. “Now you’re trying to play my game of making people feel bad so they’ll do whatever I want them to do.”

  I peeked up at her. “Is it working?”

  Chapter Nineteen

  She turned on her heel again and stalked off. I’d blown it. I’d tried my maximum sass factor and I’d lost, and now it was probably going to be even worse for my mother to deal with Grams for the next six days. Then again, maybe she’d leave early and decide not to ever come back.

  I wanted to like her, I really did, but her attitude and her anger made it hard to do anything more than love her from afar. I had found out with her early on that you could love someone without actually liking them, or what they did to your family. It wasn’t a lesson I’d have to share with Max because I knew he felt the same way about his grandmother. That saying about not being able to pick your family was incredibly true. Sure, Grams had unbent a little to like Max and tell my mom that she’d raised us right, but would it last?

  “I’m sorry, Mom. She’s probably going to take it out on you now.”

  “Pshh, don’t worry about it. I’ve had worse. She’ll get over it. Hey, if nothing else, you just gave yourself a pass to not spend any time with her over the next few days. I guess I’ll count the two of you out for dinner tomorrow. You probably have enough leftovers to last you for the next few weeks anyway.”

  Now I felt horrible. I wasn’t cut out for this kind of thing. I would never be the bad cop. Maybe I could effectively be the person who was in the wrong place at the right time, or the one people ignored and talked in front of about stuff they shouldn’t, but confrontation was not my forte. I should have remembered that before I tried to go toe-to-toe with the dragon lady.

  The dragon lady, who I could hear stomping back down the stairs. I grabbed Max’s hand to leave before she made it into the kitchen, but I wasn’t fast enough.

  “Don’t you move. You want to go at me, let’s go. Set your fanny down at this table and be prepared for a story that might just blow your socks off.”

  “Can I have some tea with that?” I asked my mother.

  She smiled and put a kettle on.

  “Let’s roll.” I sat at the table across from my grandmother and prepared to have my adorable lobster socks knocked right off.

  She placed a Bible on the table between us. Max took a seat to my right and Mom wandered over to lean a hip against the counter to the left of Grams.

  “About forty years ago, Hal Burton came to your grandfather. They were best friends. He had a favor to ask and knew that it could be a problem if it ever got out, so he took your grandfather into the library we’d had built onto the back of the house. They sat in there for over an hour, talking.”

  “Did you listen at the door?” I asked before I could stop myself.

  She drew herself up tight and stared down her nose at me. “The best do. There’s no need to be ignorant of a situation, and I knew your grandfather probably wouldn’t tell me everything. He rarely did.” She sniffed. “Now, are you going to interrupt me every few sentences, or do you want me to tell you what you so rudely demanded to know?”

  I snapped my mouth shut on my next question and nodded at her.

  “Good; at least you have enough sense to know when to stop. There might be hope for you yet. Especially with Max around.” With that, she gave him an absolutely sweet smile, then turned to glare at me.

  “Thank you, ma’am. I think.” He grabbed my hand.

  “And manners,” she cooed.

  I rolled my eyes and made the go-on motion with my free hand. “Absolutely awesome. Everyone loves Max, and he’s the epitome of gentility. Who knows why he’s with me in the first place with my near hopelessness? Can we get on with it?”

  “Fine. I like that even better than manners.” Grams flipped open the Bible in front of her, and the whole thing was hollow, like one of those safes that people in medieval times used to hide their most precious belongings. I’d seen her carry that thing all over the place, and here the whole time it hadn’t held scripture but little pieces of paper I desperately wished I could take the time to see what she’d written on them.

  For the moment, though, she took out one folded piece of paper and smoothed it out on the table in front of her.

  “I want that Bible when you go.” I kept my eye on it. Who knew what kind of secrets were in there?

  “No, dear, your father already has very strict orders to burn the thing when I pass. It will be cremated with me.”

  “Can I just peek at it?”

  “I don’t think so. Now, back to the reason we’re sitting here.” She ran a hand over the paper again, then took the glasses that hung on the chain around her neck and perched them on her nose. “‘One Maurice Howard and everyone he brings with him is to be kept in the strictest confidence as Hoagie Hogart and family. Introduce him to the family as such and in return, you and your family will be given a free pass on speeding tickets
as long as they are under twenty miles over the limit, as well as access to the gentlemen’s club on York, the American Legion on Main, and the Society of Mechanicsburg’s finest for the length of your line. Thank you and my deepest regards. Signed, Hal Burton.’”

  “Wait, no speeding tickets? As in no speeding tickets ever for everyone that comes from Granddad and you?” My eyes went wide.

  “That’s the one thing you pulled from all that?” Max said as Mom and Grams laughed.

  “No, I got the other part, too, but this means Burton owes me money for all those tickets he’s given me over the years for one-to-five miles over the speed limit. I am so going to hold him to this after I deal with the fact that it sounds like Hoagie was part of the witness protection program and might be in serious danger if someone in his past is coming after him and his family.”

  I had a lot to think about and a lot to do, but first I glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearing ten. I’d had a full day, and Max along with me. He started work with my dad tomorrow. I should get him home to sleep before he messed up his first day with one of the most demanding bosses known to me.

  * * *

  The next day I had gone over the firebug info with Max a handful of times before he had to report downstairs for work and nothing more was coming to me. It looked like Sherman had done an incredibly thorough job. I wished I could give him something, but because I didn’t have anything, I would just keep my mouth shut for the moment.

  Plus, I had bigger things to go after, like all that money I’d given to the borough over the years for tickets, and I had to go talk to Burton’s dad.

  But first, I had lost track of the cleaning schedule and wasn’t even sure what day it was, much less if I was set to clean anything today.

  So I checked the schedule online for clients, and it looked like we had a big job over at the Clemenses’, and were double-booked at the Stapletons’. I called Letty to see what had happened.