The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond

by Lee Harrington

  Occasionally I have clients call who ask for me as priestess. SHE hears their need through me, weighs their offerings. Sometimes SHE has me have them go away with a task in hand, work to do before they can be seen. Others SHE sends back to their churches, seeing clear that they are not called by her, instead are running in fear from their love of another god. But sometimes, like tonight, SHE says yes, demands yes, and I go into motion.

  I call my sister in service, another priestess working in Her honor in other ways. She’s not kinky but she knows the Work when she sees it, and has come to the realization that sometimes SHE demands the Work be done in different ways. My sister arrives, and we get to work. Clean the temple space. Read the cards to see what will serve the working the best. And then, she dresses me. Black lace and silk wrap around my form and thigh high boots. Finally, Her sacred mask slips in place and I am ready.

  Three solid knocks at the door. Her knock. SHE commanded him well. I slip into the back seat of my own soul and watch as SHE comes forward, watch as SHE has him crawl inside. He will come to know all SHE is tonight while I hold space, while together all of us ride into the storm.

  The Path of the Horse

  The Path of the Horse is spirit or God embedded in our flesh, invoking holy names and calling down the divine. It is information and evolution found through channeling, evocation, and directly tapping into the forces of the universe. Individuals, groups and congregations gain insight from these interactions, ranging from direct revelation from beyond, to taking on new roles and learning things due to a new perspective.

  Taken from the idea of being “ridden” by spirits, for some the Path of the Horse is not acceptable at every level. There are some individuals who are “wired” for it, and others that can only work with one deity, one pantheon, or only one type of spirit. This can include only being able to work with the dead, only with Loa, or only angelic forces. Others still are best suited not to be ridden, but to serve as a page or “ground crew” for the horse and rider, or by being part of an adoring congregation to process the revealed wisdom.

  There is another branch within the Path of the Horse that is more easily accessible to even those who do not believe in direct connection with spirit. These include self-invocation (a.k.a. drawing down the God-Self, or tapping into your true will), and all forms of emotional evocation or role-playing. Any time we become someone or something else, we can learn something about ourselves or the nature of the universe from a new perspective. Though these are not classical examples of “horsing,” and should not be mistaken for experiences of truly being ridden by deity, I feel they are appropriate to discuss in this context.

  Within all of these, degrees of experience exist. One Journeyer may hand over their being completely to a spirit with no memory of what took place, and another may hear whispers from across the veil. One individual may enjoy playing dress-up from time to time, and another may submerge themselves in their secondary persona for extended periods of time. One may pull their emotions out from inside themselves, and another may pull feelings they themselves have not experienced from an external source. They are all valid tools to consider, and ones overlooked in Sacred Kink.

  Traditional Tools

  Across the globe, every tradition has tales of divinity affecting humans directly. Gods impregnating mortal women abound, as do individuals possessing super-human strength or knowledge from a divine force. These are but a few categories of “horsings” or direct contact with divinity, often involving some form of altered states of consciousness. Not listed here are many forms of miracles or objects of power delivered from sources on high, because in most cases, human altered states may not have been involved.

  Possession

  Some spiritual traditions have formal rites and rituals to invite a specific deity to descend. One example is Egyptian priestesses who bathed, adorned as Isis, and were fed specific food to call the goddess into the flesh. In other traditions, open rituals are done where spirits have the right to claim anyone in attendance—Voudon Fetes where all the congregants revel and dance until the Loa take over individuals and join in the party. Branches of Asatru (Norse), Hellenic (Greek), Roman, Hindu, Irish/Gaelic, Christian (especially in the form of demonic possession, glossolalia, and the prophetic work of Saints), African Diasporic and other traditions experience possession in different ways, both consensual and non-consensual, in their mythology and faith practices. Some use ceremonial garb, holy days, specific locations, or unique rituals to mark the time for the possession (or removal of the possession), while others do not. Some possessions last for a moment, others for an extended period, and still others are said to be reincarnations of an individual or god who will hold that body for life.

  Drawing Down and Aspecting

  While possession tends to refer to a person’s entire ego, identity or self being over-ridden by an outside force, there are times when this is not the case. Whether “drawing down the moon,” being “overshadowed” by a force, “blending” personalities with a voice from the other side of the veil, or “aspecting” part of a specific God or Goddess (such as for fertility festivals like May Day), there are a multitude of times historically when part of the human consciousness stayed in control or visible. This can also be seen in various forms of Totem dancing in native cultures, where the spirit partially descends, but does not completely fill up the dancer except on rare occasions.

  Channeling

  When the voice, hand movement, writing, or knowledge of an external force come through, this form of possessory work where only one part of the person is affected, is known as channeling. Some forms of channeling, such as J.Z. Knight in her working with Ramtha, involve the human consciousness having to leave its body in some way to make space for the being coming in. Others, like the Oracle of Delphi or many practitioners of Theosophy and Spiritualism, maintained complete control of their senses but their bodies, mouths or hands operated as if from a separate consciousness, revealing information that the individual had no knowledge of. In some types of this work known as “shadowing,” channeling and aspecting are blended, where the feeling of having a hand be guided or an idea of what to say is experienced, but a direct sense of the internalized divinity is not felt.

  God-Self Invocation

  Christian mystics in the middle ages referred to this work as Imitatio Dei, or “Imitation of God,” derived from the Jewish concept that we were made Imago Dei, “in the image of God.” Ceremonial Magicians discuss the work as knowledge and conversation with our Holy Guardian Angel. Buddhism discusses the idea as Ny ga Gany, or “entering the self and self-entering.” Feri Tradition discusses drawing down our own divine nature and knowing I AM. In all of these traditions, the idea either that there is a spark of us that is divine, or that there is a spark of divine that is us, and we have the power to know this part of ourselves, our divine will, our God-Soul, our Guardian Angel, our Authentic Self, on this plane of existence. By doing so, we can better align our day-to-day life with our true will, or the will of God, that is part of us and we are part of.

  Glossolalia

  Usually referred to as “speaking in tongues,” glossolalia includes both speech and automatic writing that forms syllables but not coherent modern forms of speech during moments of being affected by some spiritual or energetic force. In Pentecostal Christianity, this is attributed to having been touched by the Holy Spirit. Some forms of speaking in tongues are written off as nonsense noises, while others believe that it is a form of xenoglossia or speaking a human language that is understandable by others. Interestingly, in neurological scans of individuals engaging in glossolalia, the emotional centers of the brain were engaged while the linguistic centers were not. There has also been an interesting study by Hungarian psychological anthropologist and linguist Felicitas Goodman which looked at glossolalia in Pentecostal communities in North and Central America, and in non-Christian groups in Africa, Borneo, Indonesia and Japan. Taking into account accents and rhythm differences between
the cultures, she found that there was no distinction between what was being practiced by these groups.

  Kink Tools

  I have borne witness to individuals in the dungeon speaking in tongues, and been part of Sacred Kink workings where channeling and mediumship were at play. Sometimes oracular workings can occur in the throes of ecstasy while information is downloaded from on high. There are however, some tools that individuals in alternative sexuality and BDSM have more access to, or have different sorts of access to, than others. The broader definition of the Path of the Horse is not limited solely to being ridden by spirits, Deity or energy.

  Role-Playing

  Seen by many as a simple pastime or a fun way to spice up sex lives, role-playing can serve as a powerful learning, growing, and spiritual tool. Role-play is about drawing out an inner self or character that has intrinsic meaning to us—living out being our inner puppy, pony, little girl, goddess, or butler. This process can involve putting on the mantle of an idealized archetype, learning something profound by becoming a specific persona. Others use role-play as a way to go back and heal old wounds—becoming the child who was never molested, the rape survivor who lashed back to escape her tormentors, a son getting to say last words to his father who died two days too soon. We put on different hats, different masks, and in looking out through them, gain perspective that can provide sacred experience.

  Evoking Emotions

  Kink is an amazing opportunity to use emotions by purposefully drawing them to the surface, to change our moods, scenarios, and alter the way we think. We can choose our emotions and change them for scenes, purposefully pulling “angry” out for role-playing or “loving” if needing to do aftercare in a panic situation. By practicing the skill in kink this skill-set can also be carried over into both magical and mundane life.

  Long-Distance Scenes

  By grabbing hold of the energetic cords that tie us to our partners, long distances can become less of an issue than they are for those not working with Sacred Kink. These scenes can be done as an offering as if to a deity, where one partner has a shrine made to their partner and in turn that partner opens up to receiving whatever energy is sent through that gateway, or more easily doing so by webcam. Each partner can also do a seemingly autoerotic scene on their own end at the same time as the other, manifesting each other into a shared experience. Long distance kink can also be done as a way to let our cord-bound partners “feel” what we are doing, with some individuals reporting that they knew exactly when their lover came, hundreds of miles away.

  Non-Corporeal Scenes

  Some of us end up in kinky or romantic relationships with spirits that have no earthly body, are drawn to elemental beings, dedicated to deities, or other arrangements. There are times when the cords that bind us to one another, discussed in the Path of Ritual, can last longer than one lifetime, and we end up continuing relationships, and in turn passionate play and working, with our dearly departed or our not-yet-reincarnated lover. There are others of us who choose to engage with our flesh and blood partner on the astral plane because we can do things there that are physically impossible on earth.

  Ridden Scenes

  Sometimes, in possession work, spirits made flesh want to have physical experiences. Sex and kink are not outside the realm of possibility. Skills such as negotiation, having pre-established D/s connections, or having practiced skills like two-footing, can give participants a foot up on knowing what to do in these situations. In scenes where one (or more) partners are being ridden, aspecting or channeling, extra care, negotiation and skill (and support staff) are often needed, and will be explored later in this chapter.

  Confessions in the Temple

  I watch as my sister in service opens the doors to the temple. SHE looks around, pleased. A massage table draped in black velvet is along one wall, a cabinet altar covered in images of shadow goddesses is along the second with a bondage point at its base, and the final wall has a St. Andrew’s cross in purple and black. Lace and sumptuous textures fill the room while incense burns. SHE opens up the doors on the altar and finds a heavy leather hood. With a flick of a wrist he kneels before Her as SHE tightens the hood down, laces it shut, and locks it in place with the keys going on a chain around Her/my neck.

  Metal cuffs lock around his wrists, and SHE has him bow down before the altar. More locks, more chains, more weight around his form. Held in place, SHE turns to the priestess and commands her to leave the temple and close the doors. Nothing is to come or go from this place unless SHE says otherwise. My sister in service follows Her commands. I watch as the supplicant shakes on his hands and knees.

  Click. The sound of a switch blade cracks the silence in the room as my/Her hand flicks it out. He freezes. SHE lifts up the back of his over-priced shirt and slices it open, letting the tip touch his skin for just a moment a SHE ends the movement. He screams into the leather, as SHE begins to whisper to him a tale. The tale tells of the time SHE came to him in his dreams and told him that his mother had just passed away. Of the way SHE had kissed away his tears. Of how they had become lovers. Of all of the time he has jerked off calling Her name.

  I can hear his mind reeling. How did she know? Oh gods, she is, well, SHE. I can hear Her silver tongue tell him to remember all his longing, all his need. SHE sits down on his back, using him as a chair, still whispering sweet words. Elegantly SHE stops and gets up. Click. SHE slices through the leather belt using the practiced blade skills I brought to my service. SHE pulls the back of his suit trousers from his body and slices the waistband of his pants. The blade goes away again as she rips the back open, leaving his ass exposed. He screams into the leather again.

  SHE is calm as SHE coldly points out that he has been untrue. He starts to beg that it’s not true, panic in his muffled voice, then lowers his shoulders and begins to sob. He confesses it all. He wails as SHE looks on coldly. Still cold SHE tells him one word. “More.”

  Remnants of his belt in Her hand, he tells the story. I step further away, a veil drawn in my mind, as if SHE does not want me to hear his confession. I hear leather land on skin, I hear him shriek…and I go elsewhere as SHE continues to use my body.

  Role-playing and Role-being

  In parts of the kink community, role-playing is often looked down as people being silly, and not doing serious stuff. Not so. Role-playing pulls from a rich history of archetype exploration and shapeshifting going back to the beginning of human spiritual experience. Exploring fantasies and roles provides an outlet for us to look at the facets of our authentic self.

  Don’t get me wrong: role-playing for a fun pastime is great! Sometimes it’s just about putting on the Godzilla costume, painting our lover up like the city of Tokyo, and having at it. We can roll dice around a table, playing out sexualized desires in a table top game of Dungeons & Dragons (because face it, some of us who grew up geeks were working out some of our stuff there). Even alone, it can be fun to put on playful clothes, pour a bowl of cereal, and watch Saturday morning cartoons. I’m all for fun. But role-playing has the potential to be used for much more in a Sacred Kink context.

  Donning Archetypes

  An archetype is an oversimplification, an icon, a recurring concept that is readily understood. One that we “get” and picture in our mind with ease. They are the models for behavior that we all compare ourselves to on some level. Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung argued that there are universal forms that we draw upon as recognizable and typical patterns of behavior or parts of self, and mythologist Joseph Campbell discussed the idea that the same archetypes appear over and over again throughout world cultural heritage and are part of the human unconscious mind.

  It has been my experience that archetypes break down into three different categories.

  Universal Archetypes

  Wise Old Man, Trickster, Child, Outsider, Hero, and Great Mother. These are the concepts that Jung and Campbell speak of. We can find them globally, and they have specific traits that appear in every culture. The d
etails shift, but the story stays the same. When we draw upon Universal Archetypes, they are vague but powerful. They come with a plotline, but little personal emotional baggage.

  Cultural Archetypes:

  Cheerleader, Homer Simpson, Ebenezer Scrooge, and June Cleaver. These are characters that have developed an iconography and stereotypes about them in our culture. Those of us who have ever read Dickens (or seen the associated movies) know that when we say someone is being a “Scrooge” that they are miserly, greedy, and someday we hope will wake up to see the folly of their ways. Cultural Archetypes require cultural references. Someone who has never watched television may not know who Homer Simpson is, and would not know his traits, his story or his meaning. Real humans can be Cultural Archetypes as well, if their story has been simplified into a tale format: Nixon, Hitler, Gandhi, Mother Theresa and Paris Hilton all have complex life-stories with twists and turns, but their archetype is usable because it has been simplified, memorized, turned into a teaching story. When we draw upon Cultural Archetypes we have detailed costumes, voices, stories, and oftentimes our own emotional meaning attached to each character, but we can still step away from becoming engrossed.