Not the Marrying Kind

by Jae

“I did. Brooke wasn’t working today, and the shop got unexpectedly busy, so I didn’t have time for a break.”

  “Well, we’re closed already, but I’ll see if there are some left over, just for you.”

  “Oh, no, that’s not necessary. They are delicious, but I’m actually not here for the cupcakes. Is Sasha still here?”

  Mae lifted her green-tinted glasses that hung around her neck on a chain of colorful beads and squinted at the flowers as if seeing them only now. “Oh, how lovely! Flowers for Sasha? She’ll be delighted.”

  Warmth crept up Ash’s neck. “Oh, no, no, they are not for Sasha.” She got it out so fast that the words nearly ran into each other. “I mean, they are for her, but just workwise, so she can make the cake match the flowers.”

  “Aww, that’s too bad. It’s been much too long since my girl got any flowers.” Mae marched back into the store and waved at her to follow. “Come on. She’s still here, but she’s got a bun in the oven, so you’ll have to talk in the kitchen.”

  Ash nearly inhaled her own spit. Dear God, Sasha’s aunt was something else.

  Mae pushed through the swinging door at the back of the room. “Sasha, you’ve got a visitor.”

  Ash peeked into the kitchen. The scent of yeast and rosemary greeted her. “Um, hi. Sorry for dropping by after hours. I brought some flowers. To show you for Leo and Holly’s wedding,” she added quickly.

  Sasha looked up from the dough she was kneading on a huge worktable. Her sun-bronzed skin was flushed from the heat in the kitchen. Flour sprinkled down when she lifted her hand in greeting. “Hey. Come on in.”

  “I’m heading home,” Mae said. “Unless you girls need me to chaperone?”

  Ash froze in the doorway. “Uh…”

  “Don’t mind her. Thanks, Auntie Mae, I think we can manage just fine.”

  With a wave, Mae let the door swing closed, forcing Ash to step fully into the kitchen to avoid getting hit. “You didn’t tell her about…me, did you?”

  “Nope. I didn’t say a word,” Sasha answered. “But even if I did, Aunt Mae couldn’t care less.”

  That might be true for Mae, but not for the rest of town.

  Ash unwrapped the bouquet and held it out as if she needed that barrier between them. “I made up a sample of the flowers Holly and Leo want in their bouquets, and I thought maybe you’d like to see it so you’ll know early on what design and colors I’m planning.”

  “Good thinking. Let me finish this real quick and we can talk.” Sasha nodded down at the dough. “I’m trying out a new recipe—rosemary cheese bread—and if I stop now, I’ll have to start over.”

  “No problem. Finish your bread.” Ash took up position in an out-of-the-way corner of the large kitchen, careful not to touch anything, and looked around. She had bought cupcakes at A Slice of Heaven nearly every day for years, but she’d never been in the kitchen.

  A bread machine was whirring in the back of the room, where its hooks were going around and around. Shelves lined two walls, each one filled with cupcake pans, mixing bowls, storage bins, and other baking equipment Ash didn’t recognize. An industrial-sized dishwasher shared space with a big stainless-steel sink and several ovens, which, judging by the heat in the kitchen, were still running.

  Two long wood-topped worktables formed the center island. Sasha stood bent over one of them.

  The black bandanna she wore to hold back her hair made her look a bit like a swashbuckling pirate. Her flour-flecked, white apron covered a pair of jeans and a gray T-shirt. She lifted the dough, sprinkled a handful of flour onto the worktable and the mound, and smacked it back down.

  Wow. No wonder Sasha had all those muscles. Her hands were strong from years of kneading and rolling dough, and the muscles in her arms stood out in sharp relief as she pushed the heels of her hands into the dough in a rhythmic motion. Like Ash’s own, her fingers were bare of any jewelry.

  Now that she knew Sasha was pansexual, Ash found herself viewing her differently. Or maybe it was just that she had never seen Sasha like this before. She always appeared to be completely comfortable in her skin, but she was clearly in her element when working in the bakery kitchen.

  “Excuse me. I need that bowl.” Sasha’s voice right next to her startled Ash.

  Boy, she had to be really tired to let her attention drift like that. “Oh, sorry.” She stepped out of the way so Sasha could get the giant bowl from the counter behind her.

  “No problem.” With nimble fingers, Sasha formed a dough ball, set it into the greased bowl, and turned it over once. She placed the bowl on top of an oven and covered it with a dish towel, probably to let the dough rise.

  “You’re very good at that,” Ash said.

  Sasha gazed away from where she was washing her hands at the sink. For a moment, she looked just as surprised as Ash felt. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

  Then Sasha chuckled. “Well, I’d better be. I own a bakery after all. I’ve always enjoyed doing things with my hands. I suspect you do too.”

  The comment made Ash flush, even though she knew Sasha hadn’t meant it like that. She pretended it was just the heat of the ovens staining her cheeks red. “Um, yeah. It seems our jobs have that in common.”

  “That and the shitty work hours and the not making much money part.” Sasha laughed.

  “There’s that too. But at least we get to make people happy with flowers and delicious treats.”

  “True. Speaking of flowers…” Sasha pointed at the bouquet Ash had tucked under one arm. “This is what our brides-to-be wanted? Roses and…what are they?”

  “Alstroemeria. They symbolize friendship and devotion, while the roses mean pure love and fidelity.”

  Sasha studied the white-and-pink blooms that formed a nice contrast to the white roses and the smaller, apricot-colored spray roses. “They’re beautiful, but they look a little delicate. Are you sure they won’t wilt in the heat of an outdoor wedding?”

  Ash stroked her fingers along the stems. “They’ll be fine. They may look delicate, but they’re actually pretty hardy.”

  A grin tugged on Sasha’s lips. “Kinda like you, huh?”

  “Me?” Ash bristled and straightened to her full five foot eight. “I’m not delicate.”

  “Compared to me, you are.”

  Well, Ash couldn’t deny that. Sasha was at least four inches taller and what Ash’s mother called big-boned. It wasn’t a compliment in her mother’s book, but Ash had to admit that she found Sasha’s broad shoulders and her sturdy build appealing. Quickly, she steered the conversation back to work. “So, you think you can work with these?” She held out the bouquet. “I thought apricot-colored spray roses would be a good fit since the cake is going to have an apricot-orange cream filling.”

  “Great thinking. We could decorate the cake with some fresh roses and alstroe…”

  “…meria,” Ash supplied. “They’re also called Peruvian lilies.”

  Sasha nodded. “But truth be told, I’m not really a fan of that option. Fresh flowers on cake can trigger allergies, not to mention that some of them are toxic. Plus if we go with option number two, I get to really work my magic.” She wiggled her fingers, drawing Ash’s attention to her strong hands.

  Quickly, Ash forced her gaze away. “Which is?”

  “I could incorporate some floral elements into the cake design,” Sasha said. “Make sugar paste roses and lilies. What do you think?”

  “I like edible flowers, but I’m not the one who has to like it.”

  “Oh, I’ll ask Holly and Leo, of course, but they both have quite the sweet tooth, so I don’t see a problem there. Let me take a couple of photos of the flowers so I have something to work with when the time comes.” Sasha dried her hands on her apron, took her phone from one of the shelves, and tapped the screen twice before lifting it to eye level. “Smile.”

>   Ash smiled reflexively, even as she said, “You don’t have to do that now. Why don’t you keep the flowers? I made the bouquet for you. Um, I mean, for you to take home, so you can take photos in better light.”

  Sasha tilted her head and grinned down at her. “Oh my. Ashley Gaines sending flowers home with another woman! Whatever will people say?”

  A flare of defensiveness seared through Ash. She raised the bouquet as if it were a sword used to parry an attack. Then she looked into Sasha’s eyes, which crinkled at the edges as she grinned down at her, without even a hint of malice.

  “Hey, relax.” Sasha stepped closer and nudged her lightly. “I’m just teasing, not judging.”

  Ash forced herself to give up her defensive pose. Just teasing. That would take some getting used to. Her sexual orientation had never been a laughing matter to her.

  “Okay, you win,” Sasha said. “I’ll take them home. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’m not good with flowers. I have a black thumb, or whatever the opposite of a green thumb is. I killed the only plant I ever owned—and it was a cactus.”

  Ash had to laugh, and the tension drained from her body. “How on earth did you manage that?”

  Sasha shrugged. “Guess I watered it too much or something.”

  “Well, that can’t happen with these.” Ash held up the bouquet. “You just put some flower food in the water, change it every other day, recut the stems at an angle, and make sure none of the leaves are under water. Then they’ll last you well into March—as long as we get them out of this heat and into some water now.”

  “Oh. Yeah, sure.” Sasha pulled a huge measuring cup from the shelf, filled it with water, and carried it to the front of the bakery, where she set the improvised vase on one of the small café tables.

  Ash followed with the bouquet and handed it over.

  Sasha lifted it to her face. Her eyes fluttered shut in expectation as she sank her nose into the flowers and inhaled deeply.

  For a moment, strong and tough Sasha Peterson looked strangely vulnerable so that Ash couldn’t help staring.

  Then Sasha looked up with a wrinkle on her forehead. “Um, there’s no scent.”

  “Sorry. Most modern roses are bred to last longer, and they lost their scent in the process. It’s the same for the alstroemeria.”

  Sasha wrinkled her nose. “So much for stopping to smell the roses.”

  For a person who insisted on not being the flower type, she looked surprisingly disappointed.

  Ash had to smile. “Well, not all flowers have had their fragrance bred out. Any time you want to smell the flowers, you could just—” She cut herself off before she could extend an open invitation to come over to her flower shop any time. If she hung out with Sasha too often, people would start to talk, especially if Sasha’s sexual orientation became common knowledge. In fact, she was surprised that she hadn’t heard any gossip about it yet.

  “I could just…what?” Sasha prompted.

  “Um…”

  A knock on the glass door saved her from having to answer.

  Ash jumped and looked up.

  Holly stared at them from the other side of the glass, clearly surprised to find Ash at the bakery.

  God, when had her life become so complicated? Now she felt as if she had to justify all of her actions, even though absolutely nothing was going on between her and Sasha. Ash tugged on the end of her ponytail. Maybe agreeing to do the flowers for Holly and Leo had been a mistake. But now there was no way out.

  For a second, Sasha looked just as hesitant to let Holly in, but then she smiled warmly and unlocked the door. “Hey, Holly. Come on in.” She spread her arms wide, and after an almost unnoticeable hesitation, Holly stepped into her embrace.

  It was just a hug between two friends, but for some reason Ash still squirmed as she watched them. Oh please. You got over Holly years ago.

  Finally, they let go, and Holly surprised Ash by greeting her with a short hug too.

  It had been years since Ash had shared a close hug with anyone who was not family. Holly’s warmth felt good, but at the same time, Ash couldn’t fully relax into the embrace. Not in public and not with Sasha’s gaze resting on her.

  She stepped back. “I brought Sasha a sample of your bridal bouquet.” She gestured toward the flowers. “Don’t worry. This is just a mock-up. Your bouquet will be bigger and a lot prettier.”

  “I’m not worried.” Holly looked at the flowers with a pleased smile. “They are gorgeous. Plus I promised myself that I wouldn’t obsess over any wedding-planning details. Yes, I want a wonderful celebration with all the people I love, and I’m looking forward to beautiful flowers and tasty cake, but what’s really important is that I get to spend the rest of my life with Leo.”

  A mix of happiness for Holly and pain at the thought of never getting to experience a love like that coursed through Ash. It was starting to become a familiar feeling. She covered it with a smile. “I’m happy to hear that you’re not going to turn into Bridezilla anytime soon.”

  “Not planning on it.” Holly turned toward Sasha. “Do you have more flower/cake coordinating to do, or would now be a good time to talk?”

  Sasha’s easygoing grin disappeared. If Ash wasn’t mistaken, she even paled a little beneath her tan.

  Ash couldn’t help feeling sorry for her, even though just three days ago, she had been the one who had lashed out at Sasha for keeping her sexual orientation a secret.

  “Now’s good,” Sasha said.

  Ash had realized before that Sasha wasn’t one to shy away from tough conversations. That makes one of us.

  “I’ll go so you can talk.” Ash hastened to the door. “Casper’s waiting for his dinner.”

  Sasha stayed next to Holly, but her gaze followed Ashley. “I’ll come over and show you some sketches of the cake design I have in mind once I have them.”

  “Sounds good. Have a good night, you two.” Ash stepped outside and let the glass door close between them. As glad as she was to escape the situation, she would have liked to be a fly on the wall during the conversation about to take place.

  A lump the size of the bread dough formed in Sasha’s throat as she turned toward Holly, even though she told herself she had done nothing wrong.

  Holly put her hand on Sasha’s shoulder. “Relax. I’m not angry.”

  Sasha arched her brows.

  “I’m not,” Holly said. “Not really. I’m mostly hurt.”

  Great. That was actually worse. Sasha wasn’t really the relationship type, but she prided herself on being a pretty good friend. The thought of having hurt Holly made her queasy.

  “Take a seat, and let’s talk.” Sasha grabbed the container of cookies from behind the counter, where she’d set it earlier, and placed it on one of the small tables. Her aunt had taught her that a sweet treat made conversations like this one easier. “Help yourself.”

  Holly sat and reached for one of the cookies, then paused. “These aren’t new doggie treats you want to try out, are they?”

  Sasha laughed and took a seat across from her. “No. They are macadamia chocolate chip cookies. I set them aside for you because I had a feeling you’d be by.”

  “Yum.” Holly chose a cookie but then held it in her hand without eating.

  They looked at each other across the table.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” they said at the same time.

  They smiled, easing the tension in the room a little.

  Sasha decided to get it over with and answer the question first. Ripping off the Band-Aid fast had always been her style. “Because there wasn’t anything to tell. Except for a date or two—which I always told you about—I have pretty much been single since I came home from culinary school. I figured I’m just not the relationship type, so why tell people about something that doesn’t play much of a role in my life?”<
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  “Okay, I get that. But before that, when you were in a relationship with a woman, why didn’t you ever mention it? It’s not like you to keep something like that from me.”

  “I didn’t consciously keep it from you. The topic just never came up. You barely ever talked about your relationships either, so why would I?”

  “I told you about Dana.”

  “Because you needed to get it off your chest. And that’s completely fine,” Sasha added quickly, not wanting Holly to read it as an accusation. “You can talk to me any time, about anything, you know that. But I never got my heart broken like that, and figuring out my sexuality wasn’t a big deal for me.”

  “You still could have told me.”

  “I know I could have. But I enjoyed the fact that we always had so many other things to talk about. Not like some of the other women in town, who seem to have nothing besides their significant other to talk about when they get together with their friends.”

  Holly nodded. “I always enjoyed that about our friendship too. Especially when everyone else nudged me to start dating again and, at the same time, I didn’t think I’d ever find a woman who would accept me just the way I am. Spending time with you was like a vacation from all that pressure.”

  Sasha had always sensed that, but it felt good to hear it.

  “Is that why you never told me?” Holly tilted her head. “Because you thought I didn’t want to talk about relationships?”

  “That’s just it, Holly. What I had with those girls in college…that wasn’t a relationship. Both of us knew it wouldn’t last. It was just some fun dates and sex—really hot sex. I wasn’t sure you would want to hear about that.”

  Holly wrinkled her nose. “I don’t. Well, not about the sex part anyway. But I’d still like to know what’s going on in my best friend’s life.”

  “All right. I promise if there is ever something interesting going on, I’ll tell you—if you promise to do the same.”

  “Oh please! I probably talk too much about Leo as it is.”

  Not too much, but she did talk about Leo a lot; that was true. “So why didn’t you ever say a word about you and Ashley?”