Not the Marrying Kind

by Jae

  Holly looked away. “So I wasn’t just imagining things at Johnny’s. You do know about me and Ash.”

  “Yeah. It still boggles my mind—not just that you were together, but that you didn’t tell me. I wouldn’t have said anything to anyone, if that was the problem.”

  “I know,” Holly said immediately. “And that was a big part of it—Ashley wanting to keep it quiet.”

  “But that’s not all, is it?”

  Holly took a big bite of her cookie and chewed thoroughly, as if buying herself time to think about her answer. “I guess I was mostly embarrassed.”

  “Embarrassed?” Sasha echoed. What was there to be embarrassed about? Surely not the fact that she’d been with a woman. Holly had known that Sasha was completely fine with that, even back then. And while Ashley was complicated, she was also friendly and good-looking, and Sasha had a feeling she could be fun to be around if she ever allowed herself to relax and just be herself, without that constant fear of being judged. So why would Holly be embarrassed?

  “It was such bad timing.” Holly sighed. “Dana had just broken up with me, trampling all over my self-esteem, and then I got home from college and immediately got involved with the first gay woman around. Okay, the only gay woman around, as far as I knew. I didn’t want anyone to think that it was just a rebound thing.”

  “Was it?” Sasha asked.

  Holly picked a nut out of her cookie and crunched it. “Maybe a little. Not that I was aware of it at the time. I mean, you know Ash. She’s beautiful, and once you crack her shell, she’s also incredibly nice, and I just wanted someone like that. Someone who wouldn’t treat me the way Dana did, making me feel like there was something wrong with me just because I didn’t desire her, um, sexually.”

  “And did you find that someone in Ashley?” Sasha asked.

  “I thought so at first. She never wanted any sleepovers—for different reasons, obviously, but it worked for a while.”

  “Then why did you break up?”

  Holly sighed. “In the end, we couldn’t give each other what we wanted. I wanted a partner who would be proud to hold my hand in public, and Ash wanted someone she could love without restrictions—but only in the privacy of her own home.”

  “That must have been tough,” Sasha murmured.

  “Yeah, especially since it was my second breakup within six months.” Holly cradled her half-eaten cookie as if it were a good-luck charm that could ward off pain. “I just wanted to forget it and move on, so I never talked about it with anyone…until I met Leo.”

  Sasha reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “I get it. I’m still not happy you didn’t tell me, but I understand why you didn’t.”

  “Thank you,” Holly said quietly.

  For a while, they ate cookies in companionable silence.

  “So,” Holly finally asked, “how did you find out about Ash and me? You always seemed to dismiss it as wishful thinking when Travis started talking about us.”

  Sasha snorted. “Forget Travis. He would have thought you were doing the horizontal mambo even if all you had been doing was painting each other’s toenails.”

  Holly laughed, spraying cookie crumbs over the worktable. “Oops. Sorry.” She wiped them off with her sleeve. “If it wasn’t Travis…”

  “Ashley,” Sasha said. “I found out from her.”

  Holly stared at her as if she had just told her the town had been taken over by pink-dotted Martians. “Ash told you about us? Just like that?”

  Sasha chuckled. “Not exactly. She somehow got the impression that I already knew, so she accidentally outed herself.”

  “Holy shit!”

  “That’s what I said—and what Ashley said when she found out I hadn’t actually known about the two of you.”

  “I can imagine. I bet the fact that you know makes her want to jump out of her skin.” Now it was Holly who reached across the worktable and squeezed Sasha’s hand. “I’m sorry. That’s probably going to make working together on our wedding uncomfortable as hell. If you’d rather—”

  “Don’t even say it,” Sasha said firmly. “We’re both adults. We’ll be fine. And who knows? Maybe being around me will make Ashley more comfortable with herself too. She might even come out at some point.”

  “Been there, thought so, and I can tell you it won’t happen. If anything, I think the way our relationship ended made her even more determined to stay away from women. Hell will freeze over and our high school football team will win the Super Bowl before Ashley will ever come out.”

  Sasha shrugged. “Well, maybe you should hire a lesbian stripper for your bachelorette party. That might nudge her out of the closet.”

  Holly threw the last piece of her cookie at her.

  Chapter 6

  Ben, the owner of Under the Hood, the local auto repair shop, looked up from the tire he was changing out front. “Hey, Sasha! Are you doing deliveries now?” Laughing, he gestured at the bakery box she carried.

  “Nope.” Sasha gave him a teasing grin. “Your wife would hate me if I did.”

  “Are you saying I’m fat?” He patted his belly.

  “Nah. That would be bad for business.”

  He gave the box a longing look. “So who are they for?”

  God, small-town curiosity. The phrase none of my business never seemed to enter anyone’s mind. Sasha chose her words carefully so she wouldn’t get Ashley in trouble. “I’m meeting Ashley to discuss a wedding collaboration, and I thought I’d bring some cupcakes.”

  The grin disappeared off his face. “Oh right. I heard. Holly and Leo are getting married…or whatever you call it when it’s two women.”

  “Marriage, Ben. Same thing as when you married Amber.” Just that they don’t have to tie the knot because one of them is pregnant, she wanted to add but held back the words. No sense in stirring trouble.

  “I guess.” He didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure you don’t want me to take that box off your hands? No need to carry it all the way to Ash’s shop.”

  A minute ago, Sasha had been about ready to give him one of the cupcakes, but his less than tolerant attitude didn’t make her eager to hand out free treats. “Pretty sure. Have a nice weekend, and say hi to Amber for me.”

  She continued down the street without looking back.

  Clearly, Ash was already preparing her flower shop for spring—no wonder since March had started off like a lamb, with temperatures into the mid-fifties. The blue-and-white-striped awning looked as if it had recently been cleaned. The colors in the sign above the door—reading The Flower Girl—were bright, as if it had been freshly painted. Yellow narcissi in little baskets gave the two display windows a friendly air.

  Sasha transferred the box to her left hand and pulled the front door open. Moist air swept over her, along with the scent of soil and fresh blooms. Since she hadn’t been in a relationship where flowers were required as a romantic gesture in ages, wasn’t in contact with her mother, and her aunt preferred presents of the edible kind, Sasha had never had a reason to visit Ashley’s flower shop before. She looked around curiously.

  The shop resembled Ashley’s house in a way; it was just as tidy and warm. The walls were painted a soft peach and adorned with watercolors of sunflowers and some purple blooms Sasha couldn’t identify. A large, glass-fronted walk-in cooler took up one wall. Vases, pots, and gift items filled a tall shelf. Potted plants and flowers in wicker baskets were neatly arranged on a long, three-tiered stand.

  Ashley was behind the counter, inserting flowers into some green, foamy material that had been fitted into a large pot. At the chime of the bell above the door, she looked up and gave Sasha a friendly smile. “Hi, Sasha. Come by to smell the flowers?”

  Sasha laughed. The nearly teasing tone was a surprise—but one she liked. It was good to see that Ashley wasn’t distant and guarded around her.
“That too. I thought I’d drop by and show you my wedding cake sketches, if you have a minute. And I come bearing gifts.” She lifted the bakery box.

  As if on cue, Casper rushed out from the back room, nose in the air. He sniffed eagerly, as if he wanted to inhale the entire box through his nose.

  Sasha pulled the paper bag with the Beagle Bite from her coat pocket and gave Ashley a questioning look. “I brought a treat for him too. Can I give it to him?”

  “Sure. If you’re prepared to make a friend for life.”

  Sasha grinned. “You can never have too many friends, right?”

  Ashley paused with an orange gerbera daisy in her hand.

  It was only then that Sasha realized her words could be read as an offer of friendship that extended to Ashley as well. Oh well. Despite her many layers, Ashley seemed like a good person, so why not? She held her gaze until Ashley nodded.

  Casper jumped around her and tried to get the treat as she pulled it out of the paper bag. Despite his eagerness, he was gentle as he took the Beagle Bite from her hand. It was gone in less than two seconds.

  “Ooh. Did I hear the word treats?” Brooke stuck her head out of the back room. “Oh, hi, Ms. Peterson. Is there something in there for me too?”

  The bubblegum pink hair she had sported the year before had grown out, but Sasha was glad to see she still had her nose ring.

  You go, girl. Don’t let this town tell you what you can and can’t do with your body.

  “Call me Sasha, please, or you’ll make me feel old.” Sasha grinned and opened the lid of the bakery box. “Well, there are two espresso chocolate chip cookies in here.”

  “My favorite!”

  “I know. I know everyone’s secret cravings.”

  Ashley dropped the bundle of floral wire she’d been holding.

  Sasha bit back a grin. She hadn’t meant her remark like that, but it was kind of fun to tease Ashley.

  Brooke giggled.

  Not for the first time, Sasha wondered why someone as uptight as Ashley had hired Brooke, who wasn’t afraid to stand out from the crowd. Maybe Ashley did have her moments of standing up to public opinion after all.

  “Why don’t we go into the back room, and I’ll take a look at your sketches,” Ashley said, as if trying to get Sasha away from Brooke and anyone else who might drop by and witness their conversation.

  “Let’s eat first.” Sasha put the box down on the counter so Ashley and Brooke could help themselves. “My motto is pleasure before business.”

  Brooke dove in without having to be asked twice. “Yum, these are so good,” she mumbled with her mouth full of cookie. She devoured her treats faster than Casper had.

  Ashley, however, seemed more hesitant. She wrapped another gerbera daisy with green wire and inserted it into the foamy material before she even glanced into the bakery box.

  Sasha studied the centerpiece that was taking shape. She was no expert on flowers by any means, but even she had to admit that the arrangement was beautiful, with the orange gerbera and some other, white flowers standing out nicely against the green of the fern around the edges. Ashley really had an eye for colors. “You’re very good at this.”

  She said it because it was true but also because Ashley had told her the same when she had watched her bake earlier in the week, and Sasha wanted to see if she would answer with the same joke Sasha had made about being good with her hands.

  Ashley sent her a look that made it clear she knew exactly what Sasha was doing. “Thank you. I really enjoy it.”

  “Working with your hands?” Sasha quipped.

  Ashley peered at her like a librarian reprimanding someone who had been talking too loudly. “Helping customers pick just the right flowers to express their feelings and then putting them together into a beautiful arrangement.”

  So that was what she enjoyed about her job. Sasha could empathize. But at the same time, she couldn’t help finding it a little ironic. Ashley was helping her customers express their feelings with flowers, while so much was left unsaid in her own life.

  Finally, Ashley dried her hands on her green florist’s apron and reached inside the bakery box.

  Sasha had filled it with the two cookies for Brooke and three different kinds of cupcakes, and of course, Ashley picked a vanilla one with strawberry buttercream frosting. She took a bite and chewed while making little humming sounds of pleasure in the back of her throat. Her tongue darted out and licked a crumb off her bottom lip.

  Unexpected heat flickered low in Sasha’s belly. What the hell? Maybe she had been single for too long and should consider dating again. Yeah, just not Ashley, of course.

  “What?” Ashley dabbed her face. “Am I making a mess of myself?”

  “Oh, no, no, you’re fine. It’s just… You’ve got a leaf in your hair.” Fortunately, a bit of greenery was indeed clinging to Ashley’s hair above her ear. Sasha pointed. “There.”

  Ashley took the hair tie out of her ponytail and ran her fingers through her hair to loosen any fragments that might be stuck there. “That’s what happens when you work in a flower shop. Some days, I look like an extra from The Walking Dead.”

  “You watch TWD?”

  “Sure, why not?”

  Brooke reached for a red velvet cupcake. “I got her hooked on it.”

  With her ponytail back in place, Ashley closed the lid of the box before the girl could help herself to the last cupcake too. “Let’s take a look at your sketches before people get off work and come in to buy flowers for their weekend dinner invitations.”

  Sasha took off her coat and followed her through an open doorway into a workroom filled with greenery, buckets, pots, and all kinds of other material. A big worktable reminded her of her setup in the bakery. Not for the first time, it struck her how much their jobs had in common.

  Ashley led her to a small table in the back of the room.

  Both of them sank onto their chairs with a sigh of relief.

  Sasha grinned. It seemed their jobs had that in common too: they were on their feet for most of the day. “Long day?”

  “Long week. And you?” Ashley leaned forward, and her gaze went through the open door to where Brooke was hovering next to the bakery box. “How did the conversation with Holly go?” Her voice was so low that even Sasha could barely hear her. “Was she angry with you?”

  “No, not really. She can’t blame me too much for not telling her about my past relationships when she herself didn’t tell me about—”

  Ashley loudly cleared her throat, drowning out the end of Sasha’s sentence. Her gaze was still on the door, and her shoulders were as tense as if she were about to bungee jump into a crocodile-filled lake. “Um, yeah. Guess she can’t. So the two of you are okay?”

  “We’re fine. We talked things out.”

  “Good. I’m happy to hear that.” She looked away from the door and into Sasha’s eyes. Her gaze was sincere. “So, sketches? If I leave Brooke alone with my cupcake for too long, she’ll eat it. She’s worse than a golden retriever—and that’s saying something.”

  “Hey, I heard that, boss!” Brooke managed to sound indignant. “And it’s not my fault that these are so fucki…um, very delicious.”

  Ashley smiled affectionately, and the tension drained from her features. “Go ahead. Eat it.”

  “Really?” Brooke squeaked. The paper box rustled before she had gotten a confirmation.

  Sasha wryly shook her head. Apparently, it would take a minor miracle to get Ashley to try one of her other cupcakes and not just the vanilla ones. Next time, she’d have to bring a dozen.

  “Yeah, sure,” Ashley said to Brooke. “You’re probably doing me a favor anyway. Once you’re over thirty, those evil creations go straight to your hips.”

  Sasha let out a snort. “Oh please.” She bit her lip before she could say more and assure Ashley t
hat she was beautiful and didn’t need to watch what she ate. “Sketches.” She opened her sketchbook and flipped through it to find the correct page.

  Instead of waiting until Sasha passed her the sketchbook, Ashley slid her chair around the round table until it was next to Sasha’s.

  Her unexpected closeness distracted Sasha. She leafed past the page, then had to flip back. “This is what I had in mind.”

  Ashley leaned closer. “Oh wow. That’s incredible. May I?”

  “Sure.”

  Ashley reached out and touched the paper, tracing the flowers cascading down the side of the three-tiered wedding cake. Sasha had started with the biggest flower, a rose in full bloom, at the edge of the top tier and then drawn each flower progressively smaller as they spiraled down the cake. It gave the design a three-dimensional effect.

  Two brides—one in a traditional dress, the other in an elegant, white pantsuit—held hands in the center of the cake. Their faces weren’t the nondescript faces of most cake toppers but actually looked like miniature versions of Holly and Leo.

  “Wow,” Ashley said again. “If you manage to make the cake look even half as good as this, everyone will be completely blown away.”

  Over the years, Sasha had gotten a lot of compliments for her sketches. Normally, she didn’t like it when people made a big deal of her drawing skills, but now she couldn’t help feeling pleased. “You like it?”

  “Like? I love it! This is good, Sasha.” Ashley gently tapped the page. “Really good. If you ever get tired of being a baker, you could be an artist. You are incredibly talented. You probably got that from your mother.”

  The warm glow that had filled Sasha only moments ago fizzled out. “I prefer to think that it’s a talent I developed all on my own. She certainly wasn’t there to nurture it.”

  Ashley withdrew her hand from the sketchbook. “I’m sorry. Sorry that she wasn’t there for you and that I brought the subject up. I didn’t mean to…”

  “It’s okay,” Sasha said. But even after all these years, it really wasn’t. Having her mother walk out on them when Sasha had been six was a wound that would never fully heal, and the compassionate look in Ashley’s eyes revealed that she could sense it.