Not the Marrying Kind

by Jae

  “The same?” Ashley shook her head. “Nothing could ever come close to that. But they would still have to wonder what they did wrong, and they’d have to pretend they don’t hear what people are whispering behind their backs. One stigma against the family name is enough. I can’t make my parents go through it again.”

  As much as Sasha wanted to, she couldn’t argue against that. Not when she could feel the pain radiating off Ashley almost like a physical wave. “Where does that leave us?”

  Ashley brushed her finger along the bloom of a Peruvian lily. “At a point where we can be friends, I hope.”

  Okay, so no dating Ashley. It shouldn’t have been a big deal since a little more than a month ago, she had still assumed Ashley was straight. But somehow, she felt as if she had lost a chance at something that could have been great. “Sure,” Sasha said, trying to sound casual. “I’d like that.”

  Ashley smiled, but the sadness clung to her like a cloak.

  Was it all about her sister and her parents, or did she, too, regret that they wouldn’t get the chance to see what could have happened between them?

  “So, what did you tell your aunt when she saw the kitchen?” Ashley asked after a while.

  Sasha’s smile became more authentic. “That an elephant had trampled through it.”

  “Excuse me?” Ashley patted her shapely hips. “Are you calling me an elephant?”

  “Actually, I think we were talking about an entire herd of elephants—because that’s what the kitchen looked like after you left.”

  Ashley’s cheeks flamed red. “Well, I guess it’s better than telling her what really happened.”

  Sasha hesitated, but she didn’t want to lie to Ashley. “Actually, she has a pretty good idea of what happened.”

  “You told her?”

  “She guessed.”

  Ashley’s face went from cherry red to chalky white. “She…she guessed about me being gay? About us…?” She gestured helplessly. “Do you think other people can tell too?”

  “No,” Sasha said quickly. “Aunt Mae has the best gaydar I’ve ever encountered. She knew I was interested in girls and boys long before I had a clue. But don’t worry. She won’t tell or judge. She couldn’t care less who you sleep with.”

  “That’s the thing—I’m not sleeping with anyone.”

  “Yeah, your loss.” Sasha gave her a teasing wink. “Because just so you know, I never had any complaints.”

  Ashley’s face switched back to a fiery red color. Finally, the corners of her mouth twitched up into a weak grin. “You’re impossible.”

  “Part of my charm,” Sasha drawled.

  They smiled at each other, but it felt a little shaky.

  “Are we okay?” Ashley asked quietly.

  Sasha bit back a sigh. “Yeah.” They would be. At some point, those hot images flashing through her brain any time she handled frosting would fade…hopefully.

  Chapter 12

  Ash had decided to stop seeing Sasha for a while, at least until she could look at her without constantly thinking about their kisses and what it would feel like to press her lips to hers again. But on Saturday morning, she found herself crowded into Beth’s big SUV, on their way to a bridal shop for wedding dress shopping in Kansas City.

  She hadn’t expected to be invited, but apparently, Holly and Leo had been serious about including her in their wedding and working on getting their friendship back.

  Of course, Sasha had been invited too. As the tallest person in the car, she was in the passenger seat next to Holly, while Ash was in the back seat, squeezed in between Beth and Sharon—Holly’s and Leo’s moms—who were chatting a mile a minute about wedding dresses, shoes, and the veil-vs.-no-veil issue.

  Sasha turned her head and gave her a sympathetic smile.

  Now she understood why Holly had practically begged her and Sasha to come along and not leave her alone with the wedding-obsessed moms. Leo’s offer to join them had been met with an outcry from Beth and Sharon. Apparently, the spouses-to-be weren’t supposed to see each other’s outfit before the wedding, as it was considered bad luck.

  Ash still couldn’t believe how supportive the two were being. They had thrown themselves into the wedding planning as if they had waited all their lives for their daughters to get married to each other. If Ash ever announced she was getting married to another woman, her mother’s outcry would not be about the wedding dresses; that was for sure.

  “…wedding, Ashley?” Beth’s voice startled her from her thoughts.

  Ash looked over from where she’d stared out the window. “Um, pardon me?”

  “I asked what you’ll be wearing to the wedding,” Beth said.

  “Probably one of my summer dresses, since it’s going to be an outdoor ceremony.”

  Beth shook her head. “I still can’t believe Holly and Leo aren’t going with identical dresses for the bridesmaids. You girls would have looked so cute in them.”

  “They’re women, Mom, not girls,” Holly said from the driver’s seat. “And we’re not even having bridesmaids, so they can wear whatever they want. What we want from our wedding is a relaxed day sharing our joy with friends, not a fashion event where everyone can’t wait to get out of their uncomfortable shoes and stuffy clothes.”

  “Besides,” Sasha added with a laugh, “can you imagine me in one of those cute little bridesmaid dresses?”

  Beth chuckled. “Oh, I don’t have to imagine it. I still have a photo of you at Travis and Jenny’s wedding.”

  Sasha let out a long groan.

  Had Sasha been one of the bridesmaids when Jenny and Travis had gotten married? Ash honestly couldn’t remember, but she definitely couldn’t imagine her in a bridesmaid dress. Now, Sasha in a custom-tailored suit, like the one Holly said Leo’s costume designer would be making for her…

  Ash discreetly touched her chin to make sure she wasn’t drooling—and promptly missed another question directed at her, this time from Sharon.

  “Sorry.” She hoped she wasn’t blushing. “What was that?”

  Sasha turned and peeked at her through the gap between the front seats. “You okay?” she asked quietly.

  Ash nodded. Now she was definitely blushing. “Just haven’t had my morning coffee yet.”

  “Ooh, coffee.” Holly drove a little faster. “Let’s stop at the next Starbucks.”

  Sharon reached over and patted Ash’s knee. “So, what about that plus one? Are you bringing anyone to the wedding?”

  It got quiet in the car as everyone waited for Ash’s reply.

  Ash felt Sasha’s gaze on her, so she avoided looking in that direction. “You know I’m single—happily single. I’ll just go alone.”

  “Why don’t you ask Derek?” Sharon asked. “I’m sure he’d love to go with you.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure,” Ash mumbled under her breath. “Um, I guess, I just…” She gestured helplessly.

  “Coming alone is fine.” Holly met her gaze in the rearview mirror. “I went to weddings on my own for years.”

  “She did,” her mother said. “I had almost given up hope of her ever finding anyone.”

  Holly groaned. “Mom!”

  “Okay, okay.” Beth turned toward Sasha. “So what about you? Are you taking anyone?”

  Ash found herself holding her breath. It was stupid. She shouldn’t care if Sasha went with anyone, man or woman.

  “Nah,” Sasha said. “I’ll have to keep an eye on the caterers to make sure they aren’t ruining the cake anyway, so I wouldn’t be a fun date.”

  Ash very much doubted that. Being around Sasha was always fun, even when she was working. She bit her lip.

  “I think you two are pretty much the only unattached people going to the wedding,” Beth said. “Why don’t you go together?”

  An image of walking into the ballroom of th
e country club on Sasha’s arm flashed through Ash’s mind. Her breath caught with a strange mix of panic and joy.

  “They don’t have to go with anyone, Mom.” Holly came to her aid. “Like I just said, attending without a plus one is just fine. I never understood this need to pair up just because it’s a wedding.”

  “There’s a Starbucks coming up.” Sasha tapped the window.

  Ash noticed that Sasha hadn’t responded to Beth’s suggestion. Would she have wanted to go with Ash, just as friends, if that had been an option?

  Holly took the exit and pulled up in front of the coffee shop since the line for the drive-through was much longer.

  “I got it.” Sasha swung the passenger-side door open and waved at the others to stay in the car. “I know what everyone wants.”

  Did she really? Ash let her head sink against the backrest. At the moment, she wasn’t even sure if she knew what she wanted.

  A few minutes later, they continued their wedding dress road trip, and it wasn’t long before they reached the bridal shop.

  “Oh, it looks smaller than I expected,” Beth said as they got out of the car and walked toward the shop. “Do you really think you’ll find something here? Maybe you should have taken Leo up on her offer to fly you to Kleinfeld in New York.”

  Ash nearly spat out the last sip of her coffee. Fly her to New York, to buy a dress at the most famous—and probably the most expensive—bridal boutique in the country? Most of the time, Leo was just her former best friend, one of the locals, to Ash. Since Leo possessed such a down-to-earth personality, it was easy to forget that she was a superstar who could treat her fiancée to a trip to New York and a designer dress.

  Anxiety gripped Ash. Could her modest little flower shop produce beautiful bouquets and centerpieces to contend with the big-name florists Leo could have hired?

  A warm touch to the small of her back stopped her momentary panic.

  Sasha had paused next to her to hold the door open for Ash. She didn’t even seem to notice that she’d touched her.

  “Thanks.” Ash meant mainly the soothing touch but knew Sasha would assume she was talking about the door.

  “You’re welcome.”

  “This will be fine, Mom,” Holly said. “They might be small, but they do one-of-a-kind dresses, not just mass-produced stuff. I’m sure I’ll find something beautiful.”

  Ash followed Holly and the two moms into the store, very aware of Sasha’s presence behind her.

  The shop might have been small, but it was filled with rows of wedding dresses in lace, crepe, satin, and taffeta. Strategically placed mannequins showed off more dresses in various styles.

  “Oh, aren’t they all beautiful?” Sharon stopped at the threshold of the store to marvel at the dresses. “Doesn’t that sight just make you want to get married too?”

  Ash and Sasha traded gazes. “No,” they said in unison, then grinned at each other.

  A saleswoman of about fifty, with chubby cheeks and a happy smile, greeted them and offered them flutes of champagne.

  Ash declined. Sasha’s presence next to her was enough to make her head spin.

  “Any idea what kind of dress you’d like?” The saleslady pointed at different styles of dresses. “Something modern and sexy or something charming and traditional?”

  “Something traditional,” Holly said. “I’d love to have a dress that is simple, yet elegant.”

  “How about something like this?” the saleswoman pulled out a dress and held it up.

  Holly scrunched up her nose. “Not quite. No giant bows, no ruffles, and no train, please. Oh, and I’d like a dress that doesn’t make me spend the entire ceremony worrying about my breasts popping out.”

  The saleswoman laughed and led her farther into the shop. “A bride-to-be who knows what she wants—and what she doesn’t want. I love that. What is the groom wearing?”

  Apparently, Holly hadn’t mentioned whom she would be marrying when she’d made the appointment. That was typical of her. She probably hadn’t wanted the extra attention the salesclerks would have given her if she had told them the other bride was Jenna Blake.

  Ash tensed. Would the saleslady’s friendly mask transform into a disapproving frown when she found out there was no groom?

  “Oh, didn’t I mention that on the phone? The other bride will be wearing a gorgeous cream-colored suit with a vest.” A dreamy smile lit up Holly’s face, but the steely glint in her eyes revealed that she wouldn’t allow anyone to spoil her day or treat her relationship with anything but respect.

  The saleswoman paused for less than a heartbeat, then nodded. “So should we be looking for a cream-colored dress for you too?”

  Ash couldn’t help staring. That was all the reaction they were going to get?

  Sasha nudged her softly. “You know, you have to stop always expecting people to hit you over the head with their Bibles or to hurl homophobic slurs at you,” she said in a whisper.

  Had it been that obvious? Ash ducked her head. “Yeah, but sometimes, they will react like that.”

  Sasha tilted her head in acknowledgment. “Sometimes. But most of the time, people take their cues from you. If you act like two women getting married is the most normal thing in the world, they will too.”

  Ash didn’t believe that it would be that easy, at least not always, but she was glad for Holly that it had been like that this time.

  The saleswoman grabbed a couple of dresses to get a feel for what Holly liked and led her to the changing room. The rest of the group settled down on two short couches to either side of the dressing room, prepared to wait while Holly tried on dress after dress. Since the two moms sat together, Sasha and Ash took the other sofa.

  The couch dipped beneath Sasha’s weight, making Ash slide toward her. Their shoulders brushed, and Ash caught a whiff of Sasha’s cinnamon scent. She forced herself to move away from her warmth. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

  Sasha turned on the couch to face her. “I don’t mind.”

  Ash’s body didn’t mind at all either, and that was part of the problem. She was very much aware of the two moms sitting in full view of them.

  “God, Ash, relax, will you? You’ll bruise a vertebrae or something if you keep sitting there so stiffly.” Sasha bounced up and down on the sofa, throwing Ash into her.

  “Sasha! Stop it.” Ash threw her a rebuking gaze, but a giggle bubbled up from deep inside of her. Sasha’s fun-loving nature and that carefree grin were hard to resist.

  Thankfully, the two moms didn’t pay them any attention because, a moment later, Holly stepped out of the changing room with a self-conscious look on her face. She slid her hands down her hips and studied herself in a giant mirror. “What do you think?”

  The cream-colored dress formed a striking contrast to Holly’s rich auburn hair. A sweetheart neckline with halter straps showed off her generous curves without displaying too much of them. The lace flared out from the waist and reached all the way down to the floor.

  “Wow.” Ash was the first to find her voice. “You look beautiful.”

  “Yeah. I’ll have to hold on to Leo so she doesn’t topple into the creek when she sees you,” Sasha added.

  Beth and Sharon were both rooting through their purses for tissues.

  The saleswoman laughed. “If you make your mother and your mother-in-law cry, you know you’ve found the right dress.”

  Holly beamed and again looked into the mirror.

  “But the most important question is: Do you like it?” Sasha asked.

  Ash wasn’t surprised; it was such a Sasha thing to say.

  “I love it,” Holly said quietly. She stroked her palms down the dress, caressing the fabric as if in awe of its beauty. “But I can’t buy the very first dress I try on…can I?”

  Sasha shrugged. The movement made her arm brush Ash’s. “Sure you can.
Sometimes, you just have to trust your heart if it tells you it’s right.”

  Holly looked at her with an affectionate smile. “You’re such a romantic. Remind me again why you’re still single?”

  “Guess my heart hasn’t pointed me to the right person yet.”

  Ash looked down at her shoes and tried not to imagine Sasha finding someone else.

  Holly turned toward the saleswoman. “I’ll take it.”

  The saleslady blinked several times. “Just like that?”

  Holly pointed to the bottom of the dress. “I think it’ll have to be taken up a little, but other than that, I can’t imagine a more perfect dress.”

  “Well, far be it from me to mess with perfection.” The saleswoman pinned the bottom of the dress and set up an appointment for a final dress fitting. Within less than twenty minutes of first entering the store, they were on their way back home.

  “Wow, that was fast,” Sasha said as she settled into the passenger seat. “If only finding an outfit for me would be as painless.”

  Ash had never really thought about it, because Sasha always looked great in whatever she wore, but since she was so tall, finding something nice to wear was probably a nightmare.

  Holly reached across the middle console and patted Sasha’s arm. “Want me to go outfit shopping with you next weekend?”

  “Nah. I know you and Leo have your hands full with wedding prep stuff. I’ll be fine.”

  Ash couldn’t bear the thought of her out shopping alone, going from store to store and becoming more discouraged with each one. “I could go with you.” The offer was out before she could think twice about it.

  Sasha turned and searched her face. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I mean, it’s just an afternoon of outfit shopping, right? It’ll be fun.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far,” Sasha muttered. “But if you help me find something I like, I’ll spring for dinner afterward.”